Anonymous wrote:I wish I'd had known my kid knew what they were talking about. They insisted they had a chance at their dream school, I convinced them didn't, and they ended up in a downward spiral for months because I didn't have any confidence in them. Give your kids more credit than you think they deserve.

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had never read this forum. Seriously. So much wasted angst. Why am I still here? I wonder too.

The only two helpful things I learned here:

1) UVA only takes the top 5% of the class in state
2) UVA requires four years of the SAME language even if an “advanced diploma” just needs any four. Do not count on the school to explain this to them when they’re making course choices.

If you are UMC white and can’t pay $80,000 a year for school, just get comfortable now that the best you can realistically hope for is merit aid at big state U you hadn’t ever considered.

Anonymous wrote:Any safe advice for early high schoolers? Things you wish your child knew? Things you wish you knew? Activities? Resources? All of it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

How ‘bout this - let your kids drive the bus, let them make the decisions, no paid college consultants, help them ONLY WHEN ASKED, celebrate each of their acceptances, and revel in the fact that your kids got in on their own terms.

This is foolish. College is a significant financial investment. Would you let your 17-18yr old pick their own stocks? I think some parents are too involved but these kids need guidance to understand the current landscape.

Not foolish at all. Did this with my 17yo (she started early so she’s a bit younger than her classmates) and she has three schools she’s choosing from and she loves each one - will be a tough decision. We didn’t interfere (she wouldn’t even let us read her essays - we said we were available to proofread but she declined), didn’t have any input into her class schedule (she chose her own classes every single year), no college counselor, and we are extremely proud of every school she got into. Because we didn’t need to pay anyone to help her out.

It’s nice to be so rich that you don’t have to care about the cost of college, but that’s not the experience of most. So your input is irrelevant.

Anonymous wrote:How ‘bout this - let your kids drive the bus, let them make the decisions, no paid college consultants, help them ONLY WHEN ASKED, celebrate each of their acceptances, and revel in the fact that your kids got in on their own terms.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

How ‘bout this - let your kids drive the bus, let them make the decisions, no paid college consultants, help them ONLY WHEN ASKED, celebrate each of their acceptances, and revel in the fact that your kids got in on their own terms.

This is foolish. College is a significant financial investment. Would you let your 17-18yr old pick their own stocks? I think some parents are too involved but these kids need guidance to understand the current landscape.

Not foolish at all. Did this with my 17yo (she started early so she’s a bit younger than her classmates) and she has three schools she’s choosing from and she loves each one - will be a tough decision. We didn’t interfere (she wouldn’t even let us read her essays - we said we were available to proofread but she declined), didn’t have any input into her class schedule (she chose her own classes every single year), no college counselor, and we are extremely proud of every school she got into. Because we didn’t need to pay anyone to help her out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any safe advice for early high schoolers? Things you wish your child knew? Things you wish you knew? Activities? Resources? All of it?

Learn your DC’s college matches early and often. Do not tell ANYONE where your DC is applying. Learn “the game” for your top match and play that game HARD. You’re welcome.

"the game"? what does that mean?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How ‘bout this - let your kids drive the bus, let them make the decisions, no paid college consultants, help them ONLY WHEN ASKED, celebrate each of their acceptances, and revel in the fact that your kids got in on their own terms.

I agree. My DD was calm throughout the entire process. She selected 7 reasonable schools, mostly OOS flagships, and got into all 7 with merit. I was the one panicking the entire time, primarily because I read sites like this. I should have followed her lead.

She’s a very good student, but definitely had her share of Bs. She had a good SAT score, but not super competitive. DCUM would say she was destined to go to some 3rd tier campus. DCUM would have been wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any safe advice for early high schoolers? Things you wish your child knew? Things you wish you knew? Activities? Resources? All of it?

Learn your DC’s college matches early and often. Do not tell ANYONE where your DC is applying. Learn “the game” for your top match and play that game HARD. You’re welcome.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How ‘bout this - let your kids drive the bus, let them make the decisions, no paid college consultants, help them ONLY WHEN ASKED, celebrate each of their acceptances, and revel in the fact that your kids got in on their own terms.

I agree. My DD was calm throughout the entire process. She selected 7 reasonable schools, mostly OOS flagships, and got into all 7 with merit. I was the one panicking the entire time, primarily because I read sites like this. I should have followed her lead.

She’s a very good student, but definitely had her share of Bs. She had a good SAT score, but not super competitive. DCUM would say she was destined to go to some 3rd tier campus. DCUM would have been wrong.

How much are you paying per year?

Anonymous wrote:Don’t expect to be treated fairly if your child applies to your selective undergraduate alma mater unless your family has a private charitable foundation with annual donation availability of more than 100 grand or a one time donation of 1M or more. Don’t get their hopes up or showcase what you loved about your experience decades ago. It’s not worth it.