Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- already talked with my doctor. Talking to another doctor later this week. Only real probability was a recent partner. I don't know why the type of std matters.

It matters because HPV can be in your system for years and then reactivate.

Not really. Usually your body completely clears an hpv infection or you will continue to test positive for it. By “laying dormant,” it means the hpv infection isn’t causing any precancerous cells, not that it’s undetectable. If someone tests negative for hpv and then tests positive, it almost always means they have a new infection.

That is completely wrong.

No, it’s not. As long as the hpv is in your system, even if you have no symptoms of infection and no cellular changes, you will test positive for it. For most people, hpv clears itself COMPLETELY in about two years, but in some people it can last decades. If you tested negative and then test positive a few years later, you have a new infection. FACTS.

Wrong!

Men are not tested for HPV

https://www.cancer.org.au/cervicalscreening/i-am-over-25/what-does-my-test-result-mean/what-about-my-partner#

https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/infectious-diseases/sexual-health-sexually-transmitted-infections/hpv-men-questions-answers.html#

Men cannot get tested for hpv, sure, but hpv almost always clears up faster in men, especially circumcised men, than in women, much faster actually. Persistent hpv infection is extremely rare in men. The only visible sign on HPV in men are warts and those always clear up after two years, usually much earlier., 5.9 months being the median. There is no way a woman could be with a man for ten years and then suddenly pick up warts from him.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4254924/#:~:text=Genital%20HPV%20infections%20may%20be,infections%20clearing%20within%2012%20months.

Yikes. This article says that HPV can be vertically transmitted from mother to child during birth and then it can cause aggressive HPV in the throat of the child. Who knew?

Doctors knew. It is one reason they ask your medical history and sometimes recommend c-sections.

Okay, so I had a totally different experience when I got hpv the first time in my marriage. My gyno, (yes, a licensed professional), told me in no uncertain terms that my spouse had cheated. After years of good pap smears and negative hpv results, I had a bad pap smear and tested positive for hpv. My gyno took a second more invasive look, said that it looked like everything was clearing up fine, but that this had to be a new infection. It cleared up shortly and I tested negative for hpv six months later and have ever since. I already had my suspicions about spouse, but having the doctor tell me point blank forced me to act. There’s a lot of confusion on this subject, don’t look to internet boards for medical advice.

I think you should get a divorce lawyer and talk it out.

Then you should have a very good friend on hand to talk to.

Then you should sit your husband down and tell him you have an STD and you plan to divorce. Don't tell him it's TV. Tell him you are going away for 2 nights to cool off, and leave with the friend.

He will either confess because clearly nobody knows you can get STD's from non-cheating partners, so I assume he is just as ignorant.

If he asks is it HPV say "no", because everybody... expect idiots on this thread know you can carry that from your 20's.

He's either going to be baffled or he's going to break down.

good luck.

My advice also is if you plan to divorce, don't tell him, consult with your lawyer on this. Go to couples therapy for a few months and then drop the bomb. He will totally off guard, you will be stronger and you will be better positioned.

Anonymous wrote:A lot of false information on here.

Trich is an STD.
Sounds like OP has been with her husband long enough that if it predated the relationship she’d have had serious health consequences of trich (infertility, preterm labor)
So it’s probably unfortunately her husband having an affair

For more information on trich - see this: https://www.health.ny.gov/publications/3839/

more information showing you can get it from a towel.

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-can-you-get-trichomoniasis-if-no-one-cheats

The news backs this reality up. There are too many absent fathers in children's lives and women are sinking into poverty and kids growing up with more and more problems. Just do a Google search on absent fathers. Its a hot topic. There is no immediate abuse that not having sex wouldn't solve and OPs child is very young. She should be strategic and use her husband to provide the best amount of money and help she can get out of him for her daughter's sake and her own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The STD is TV.

Oh dear. I’ve had that when celibate. Had it once when a virgin. It’s not just sexually transmitted.

Do you know how you got it? Please share more as this may save OPs marriage.

I've posted this about 100 times on this site but you can get it from a towel and I do know a couple that thought each other cheated because they had this STI.

What was crazy is the doctor was like, yea somebody cheated.

Then the dad cried at his son's pediatrician appointment, and he told the pediatrician what was going on and the pediatrician is like dude do you throw a towel on the floor and reuse it, that's the problem... and if you use the towel to wipe then have s@x again.

Nobody cheated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly raising a child in this area is so expensive and time consuming and the amount of men available that you'd want around you with a 5 year old are so small. Some woman was just killed meeting up with someone on OLD this week. I would just stay married and not sleep with him anymore. Raise your daughter and just have a platonic relationship. There doesn't seem to be a reason to divorce other than this idea that you could remarry and it's just not worth it with a kid that young. When they are driving age maybe.

Idiotic and such a limited answer. OP don’t listen to this nonsense. She’s supposed to put her life on mute and live dormant til her child is older. Just the worst suggestion.

Not to mention that men like this can become very unkind and abusive once you stop sleeping with and catering to them.

A man who will cheat on you and not take measures to protect you from STDs isn’t someone you can tie your future to and come out unscathed.

Maintain your dignity and work to build a life that doesn’t include this dysfunction.

Just because someone lays a pile of excrement at your feet it doesn’t mean you need to eat it. Salt, pepper and a fancy fork and plate don’t make it any more palatable.

Your future you will thank you for it.

Focus on your daughter and make plans to get out of this situation. There is no security, comfort or dignity in this mess.

Men like this also will stop contributing to their daughters. Both time and money. Cutting them off creates other problems. They can separate without giving him a pass to go onto a new life. Check out actual child support payments before making a huge decision to get him completely out of your life. It's not that easy to keep a cheating man invested in their children.

A lot of false information on here.

Trich is an STD.
Sounds like OP has been with her husband long enough that if it predated the relationship she’d have had serious health consequences of trich (infertility, preterm labor)
So it’s probably unfortunately her husband having an affair

For more information on trich - see this: https://www.health.ny.gov/publications/3839/

Anonymous wrote:What I thought was a run of the mill yeast infection turned out positive for an std. I've been monogamous and married for 10 yrs, together for 12. We have been quite detached and I've been unhappy but this has really taken me by surprise. We share a child who is 5. What would you do? My DH is generally dismissive and in denial on most things so I imagine he'll gaslit me and deny it when I broach the topic. It's a nightmare to think of co parenting and sharing my time with my child. Can I ask him to move out? Should I call a divorce lawyer before even bringing it up? There is no chance of reconciliation as far as im concerned.

And to preempt what I know at least one person will say, yes I know and am aware I need to now get a full panel std test. Believe me, I know.

Have you gotten tested for TV (Trich) when you’ve had “yeast infections” previously? Maybe your “yeast infections” have always been TV and your husband had nothing to do with it. Even if he’s infected he might well have zero symptoms.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly raising a child in this area is so expensive and time consuming and the amount of men available that you'd want around you with a 5 year old are so small. Some woman was just killed meeting up with someone on OLD this week. I would just stay married and not sleep with him anymore. Raise your daughter and just have a platonic relationship. There doesn't seem to be a reason to divorce other than this idea that you could remarry and it's just not worth it with a kid that young. When they are driving age maybe.

Idiotic and such a limited answer. OP don’t listen to this nonsense. She’s supposed to put her life on mute and live dormant til her child is older. Just the worst suggestion.

Not to mention that men like this can become very unkind and abusive once you stop sleeping with and catering to them.

A man who will cheat on you and not take measures to protect you from STDs isn’t someone you can tie your future to and come out unscathed.

Maintain your dignity and work to build a life that doesn’t include this dysfunction.

Just because someone lays a pile of excrement at your feet it doesn’t mean you need to eat it. Salt, pepper and a fancy fork and plate don’t make it any more palatable.

Your future you will thank you for it.

Focus on your daughter and make plans to get out of this situation. There is no security, comfort or dignity in this mess.

Anonymous wrote:If it is Trich you might want to pump the brakes on assuming it was sexually transmitted, OP.

Can you elaborate?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The STD is TV.

Oh dear. I’ve had that when celibate. Had it once when a virgin. It’s not just sexually transmitted.

Do you know how you got it? Please share more as this may save OPs marriage.

I have no idea how I got it. And it was wild. I was a teenager and my mom had to take me to the doctor. It was very embarrassing. Also remember thinking the word trichomoniasis was awful.

Were you swimming frequently in dirty pools? Or remember using dirty wet towels? That is pretty much the only other means of transmission. It also doesn't have to just be PIV....other types of sex also pass it along. I'm sorry but this is just really hard to believe!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The STD is TV.

Oh dear. I’ve had that when celibate. Had it once when a virgin. It’s not just sexually transmitted.

Do you know how you got it? Please share more as this may save OPs marriage.

I mean, she could also talk to her husband.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The STD is TV.

Oh dear. I’ve had that when celibate. Had it once when a virgin. It’s not just sexually transmitted.

Do you know how you got it? Please share more as this may save OPs marriage.

I have no idea how I got it. And it was wild. I was a teenager and my mom had to take me to the doctor. It was very embarrassing. Also remember thinking the word trichomoniasis was awful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would chat with an attorney and then have a chat with DH. If that doesn’t work or go over than it doesn’t matter why or how you got the STD, be done with DH. He doesn’t deserve you.

This!!!!!!

Don’t listen to the unhealthy women saying to stay with him.

This is not a business decision. He has made his bed, and you will no longer lie in it.

Of course it is for many Americans.. You must be independently wealthy