Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our child was a recruited athlete at Princeton. Of the Ivies that made offers, Princeton was the most stringent about requiring the highest GPA and test scores. I can't speak to the issue of legacies, etc., but it seems that most of the recruited athletes were very strong students as well.

I’m not surprised yet at the same time Princeton has the overall strongest athletic performance of any school in the Ivy League.

What does that mean? They win the most titles?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our youngest is at Princeton. It feels like there are far more rules and the administration is far less understanding and flexible compared to our oldest child's experience at another Ivy. For instance, Princeton students are forbidden from getting outside tutoring if they are having difficulty in a class (it is considered an honor code violation). The students are supposed to use the student tutors provided by the school, but there aren't nearly enough to go around. So a student having difficulties in a class who is unable to secure one of the few tutors is left to completely flounder or risk getting an honor code violation by seeking outside help. That doesn't make sense to me.

You know what else doesn't make sense? They are ok with admitting kids who have legacy advantage, paid tutors throughout high school, test prep, parents propping up a nonprofit or similar, high-priced college consultants, but once admitted you're on your own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our child was a recruited athlete at Princeton. Of the Ivies that made offers, Princeton was the most stringent about requiring the highest GPA and test scores. I can't speak to the issue of legacies, etc., but it seems that most of the recruited athletes were very strong students as well.

I’m not surprised yet at the same time Princeton has the overall strongest athletic performance of any school in the Ivy League.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our youngest is at Princeton. It feels like there are far more rules and the administration is far less understanding and flexible compared to our oldest child's experience at another Ivy. For instance, Princeton students are forbidden from getting outside tutoring if they are having difficulty in a class (it is considered an honor code violation). The students are supposed to use the student tutors provided by the school, but there aren't nearly enough to go around. So a student having difficulties in a class who is unable to secure one of the few tutors is left to completely flounder or risk getting an honor code violation by seeking outside help. That doesn't make sense to me.

You know what else doesn't make sense? They are ok with admitting kids who have legacy advantage, paid tutors throughout high school, test prep, parents propping up a nonprofit or similar, high-priced college consultants, but once admitted you're on your own.

If you are a poor or URM kid who got in without a lot of advantages in life, I don't think you might fit in to the eating club culture at Princeton either.

Anonymous wrote:Our child was a recruited athlete at Princeton. Of the Ivies that made offers, Princeton was the most stringent about requiring the highest GPA and test scores. I can't speak to the issue of legacies, etc., but it seems that most of the recruited athletes were very strong students as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our youngest is at Princeton. It feels like there are far more rules and the administration is far less understanding and flexible compared to our oldest child's experience at another Ivy. For instance, Princeton students are forbidden from getting outside tutoring if they are having difficulty in a class (it is considered an honor code violation). The students are supposed to use the student tutors provided by the school, but there aren't nearly enough to go around. So a student having difficulties in a class who is unable to secure one of the few tutors is left to completely flounder or risk getting an honor code violation by seeking outside help. That doesn't make sense to me.

You know what else doesn't make sense? They are ok with admitting kids who have legacy advantage, paid tutors throughout high school, test prep, parents propping up a nonprofit or similar, high-priced college consultants, but once admitted you're on your own.

Anonymous wrote:Our youngest is at Princeton. It feels like there are far more rules and the administration is far less understanding and flexible compared to our oldest child's experience at another Ivy. For instance, Princeton students are forbidden from getting outside tutoring if they are having difficulty in a class (it is considered an honor code violation). The students are supposed to use the student tutors provided by the school, but there aren't nearly enough to go around. So a student having difficulties in a class who is unable to secure one of the few tutors is left to completely flounder or risk getting an honor code violation by seeking outside help. That doesn't make sense to me.

Anonymous wrote:Suicides are at all schools. but more common at "top" schools.. I am guessing the reason is obvious. So sad nonetheless

Anonymous wrote:Our youngest is at Princeton. It feels like there are far more rules and the administration is far less understanding and flexible compared to our oldest child's experience at another Ivy. For instance, Princeton students are forbidden from getting outside tutoring if they are having difficulty in a class (it is considered an honor code violation). The students are supposed to use the student tutors provided by the school, but there aren't nearly enough to go around. So a student having difficulties in a class who is unable to secure one of the few tutors is left to completely flounder or risk getting an honor code violation by seeking outside help. That doesn't make sense to me.

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised that no one is seeing the irony here. This is a story/thread about the tragic loss of bright young lives; there is clear data in the mental health literature that young adults are experiencing unprecedented levels of stress, lack social and emotional supports, are facing challenging job markets and economic uncertainties. All of these factors have been linked to poor mental health outcomes and increased risk of suicide (so is being young, male, in periods of life transition and a host of other factors). The posters in this thread are looking to blame a host of factors---these kids must be mentally ill! the universities are not taking care of them! it's grade deflation!--and discounting any suggestion that these kids and young adults are experiencing extraordinary amounts of pressure to achieve.

This forum is filled with parents agonizing over whether Junior should take the SAT a third or fourth time because they have not gotten a perfect score. Or asking about what classes middle schoolers need to take in order to get into a T20 school. Or slamming others achievements or school choices--your kid will never get a job or into grad school if they don't go to a T10 school. Or ridiculing kids for their academic interests--they will be unemployed if they don't get a STEM degree. Or their grades. Or piling on when someone doesn't get into a target school--they had no chance with grades like that!

The hyper demanding and hypercompetitive environment of modern parenting and the cruelly hypercritical nattering nabobs of social media is crushing the souls of these young people. These kids are living in a hell of their parents making and being forced to try to meet unrealistic standards.

Maybe it is time for folks to rethink what they are saying to posters who come asking for guidance or looking for help. Maybe offer more positive and supportive feedback. Maybe let your kids know that they have more value than an SAT score. I don't know. This whole thread is heartbreaking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He would probably be equally or even more unhappy at a larger school with less support. Princeton is hardly the only school with pressure to obtain certain desirable jobs and is highly competitive.

Princeton is admitting a "certain type of kid" then looking askance as those kids develop depression and worse suicides. The school and some alumni will, in so many words, say "well they just couldn't cut it, look how happy and fun the alumni and reunions are". But how do you say that when the school continues to have a track record of admitting those types of kids and the resulting increasing depressions and suicides relative to their peer schools. Something is not right. That place is a real life example of "not all that glitters is gold".

So what’s your solution?

DP. Maybe smart/normal. Kids that aren't psychotically hell-bent on the end goal of an Ivy/top 10 and entire childhood was molded by parents and private counselors and tiger moms for that end goal. Those applications are pretty easy to identify. You can see it by activities, essays, personality, etc.

I'd take a happy, fun-loving kid that manages to get good grades and test scores--but exudes happiness. Looks like they had time for fun, in addition to being a good student. Less academic competitions in lieu of childhood/teen experiences.

Balance.

This just sounds like you kvetching over the fact that your kid ended up at UMBC or JMU rather than an Ivy.