I swear, this forum has so many posts of working mothers wondering how to do stuff when the easiest answer is to switch out the absentee DH or have more expectations. It’s so effing sad and annoying. if your DH is making so much money bc of the hours he works, you can outsource all the stuff that needs to be done. If he’s not, he’s just using the extra working hours to avoid home responsibilities. Working your day job is almost always easier than taking care of kids and keeping house.

Anonymous wrote:Op here - wow didn’t realize the laundry thing would be so decisive.

I do laundry every day because I would rather wash and fold and put away 1 or 2 loads a day than 5 or 6 twice a week.

DH doesn’t do his own laundry (see working 60-80 hours a week) and neither do my kids. Both dh and I work out most days so we have our regular clothes, work out clothes, kids clothes, towels and linens.

Your DH can do his own laundry notwithstanding the number of hours he works ( my DH does) and esp if he has time to work out. If his hours mean u guys are making bank, hire a full time housekeeper. If not, he needs to figure some other job out with less hours. You’re struggling bc he’s not pulling his weight around the house and you have zero expectations for him.

The laundry is a red herring. It doesn’t really have to do with OP’s issue. It’s the three kids in general and the absentee DH. OP, most moms who work with 3 kids have an equal partner husband or a powerhouse nanny. Moms with a DH like yours don’t work.

Anonymous wrote:For starters we don’t have 3 kids
You can imagine the rest

This is effectively what all pp have said

Anonymous wrote:I would call myself a pretty high energy person - routinely work out, am up every day at 6:30am, work full time, etc.

But being a parent to 3 young kids is kicking my butt. I am exhausted. Between the mental load (laundry, groceries, cooking, cleaning, doctor appointments, etc), enrichment for kids (sports, religion, etc) and school - I am so tired! How do low energy, introverted people do all of this?!?

I spend an hour a week on laundry, grocery shop 1x a week, kids eat breakfast & lunch at school, cleaning is outsourced, doctors’ visits are minimized. I sign kids up for aftercare enrichment at school so that I don’t need to shuttle them anywhere extra.

It sounds like you are high energy but also highly disorganized. Use some of your high energy to plan better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, come back and clarify why you do laundry every day. Basically everyone here thinks this is overkill.

I do laundry every day because one of my kids is a bet wetter. But the clothes only get washed once a week. And honestly laundry takes minimal effort. Its not something that would add stress to my day one way or another.

+1. It takes so little time to do a load of laundry. Especially if you don’t bother folding.

+2, I start a load of laundry in the morning when I get up, I move it over at some point in the morning, then I look for an opportunity to fold in the afternoon/evening (conference calls are great for this). If I don't have time, DH and I knock it out together before or after dinner. It's probably a total of 10-15 minutes a day? Also we only fold sheets and towels and some of our clothes. Most of our clothes get hung up and putting clothes on hangars takes a lot less time than folding.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your oldest is getting to the point where she should be able to do and fold her own laundry. With a little help at first of course, but that can be a responsibility that you teach her to handle.

Op - yes I think so as well but my only hesitation is her lugging the laundry down two flights of stairs. She is tiny (only weighs 62 pounds and is only like 4’6”) so I don’t know if she could bring it downstairs herself.

Buy a small basket and have her make multiple trips?

+1. The exercise will also help tire her out and hopefully help her grow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, come back and clarify why you do laundry every day. Basically everyone here thinks this is overkill.

I do laundry every day because one of my kids is a bet wetter. But the clothes only get washed once a week. And honestly laundry takes minimal effort. Its not something that would add stress to my day one way or another.

+1. It takes so little time to do a load of laundry. Especially if you don’t bother folding.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your oldest is getting to the point where she should be able to do and fold her own laundry. With a little help at first of course, but that can be a responsibility that you teach her to handle.

Op - yes I think so as well but my only hesitation is her lugging the laundry down two flights of stairs. She is tiny (only weighs 62 pounds and is only like 4’6”) so I don’t know if she could bring it downstairs herself.

Buy a small basket and have her make multiple trips?

Anonymous wrote:Op here - wow didn’t realize the laundry thing would be so decisive.

I do laundry every day because I would rather wash and fold and put away 1 or 2 loads a day than 5 or 6 twice a week.

DH doesn’t do his own laundry (see working 60-80 hours a week) and neither do my kids. Both dh and I work out most days so we have our regular clothes, work out clothes, kids clothes, towels and linens.

Why are you folding laundry? Just dump it into drawers or bins and call it a day.

Honestly it sounds like you deliberately make life harder for yourself. You don’t need to wash every piece of clothing after 1 wear. Buy a million pairs of underwear, socks, etc so you don’t run out, and can skip a laundry day. When it’s time for laundry, don’t waste time folding underwear and if you buy all the same type/color of socks, there’s no need to make matching pairs.

My mom was low energy. How did she parent? From bed and the couch. She pushed us to be independent from very early on. I made my own lunch for school beginning in 1st grade. I got my own breakfast every day. She'd make my brother breakfast on the first day of school. If she was sleeping when we left we had to write her a note saying what we were wearing (in case we went missing and she had to tell the police).

I'd come home from school and she'd be on the couch watching tv. I'd walk the dog, then get a snack and sit watching tv with her. Or she'd be sleeping and have left me a note saying what to do and what time to wake her (10 minutes before my dad got home).

Anonymous wrote:I think your oldest is getting to the point where she should be able to do and fold her own laundry. With a little help at first of course, but that can be a responsibility that you teach her to handle.

Op - yes I think so as well but my only hesitation is her lugging the laundry down two flights of stairs. She is tiny (only weighs 62 pounds and is only like 4’6”) so I don’t know if she could bring it downstairs herself.

I think your oldest is getting to the point where she should be able to do and fold her own laundry. With a little help at first of course, but that can be a responsibility that you teach her to handle.

Op here - wow didn’t realize the laundry thing would be so decisive.

I do laundry every day because I would rather wash and fold and put away 1 or 2 loads a day than 5 or 6 twice a week.

DH doesn’t do his own laundry (see working 60-80 hours a week) and neither do my kids. Both dh and I work out most days so we have our regular clothes, work out clothes, kids clothes, towels and linens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, come back and clarify why you do laundry every day. Basically everyone here thinks this is overkill.

Cause she has three kids!

I have three kids and work FT and don’t do laundry every day. Never did, hope I never will. Most of my kids’ clothes are hand-me-downs or second hand; I make sure they have enough to last ~10 days each. DH does his own laundry and handles the towels.

I also have three kids and work FT and do laundry once or twice a week. I wash my stuff and kitchen linens. The 3 kids wash their clothes together (abt 4 loads) with a little help from me. I take out of the dryer and divide into their hampers so they can put them away easily. My husband washes his own clothes and we divide up washing our bed linens and the kids.

Right but OP has kids not old enough to do their own laundry and it’s not beyond imagination that she’s doing laundry for the whole family of five including all linens. For which laundry every day isn’t that surprising.