OP- I’d be hurt too. My child has ADHD and anxiety and we’ve had people question if she’s on the spectrum (though so far not meeting criteria). She also has another much rarer issue that affects behavior sometimes. There’s no way to know what school would take “her profile” because it’s not one people have thought about ahead of time. I’ve posted before but it’s why we stay in public now- the privates can and do decide to counsel out for any reason they desire and some are not up front about what they are willing to support. It sounds like McLean handled this really poorly but I’m so happy for your daughter to not have gone through trying it out and getting counseled out. It’s really really painful.

I hope you find somewhere that’s a good fit. If it makes you feel better I have also heard from McLean parents the academics are very low. My DD went to preschool with these kids and I know what the parents expectations and if they think the academics are low, they definitely are. It might not have been the right place for your DD for that reason too if she’s very academically gifted.

Wishing you the best. It’s hard when there’s no place exactly right for your child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP, this is very stressful.

However, it's no secret that a lot of SN private schools will not take ASD children: McLean, Lab, Norwood, etc.

Same with many independent privates that on paper are inclusive and claim to support socio-emotional development, but in practice will not deal with students on the spectrum.

The choices from here on are: public with IEP or privates that specialize on ASD.

They are not staffed to support ASD, they don't want to be staffed for that - it's more involved and expensive.

Can’t wait to see Norwood parents freak out that you called it a special needs school, lol!

No need to freak out. It’s just factually wrong.

People freak out anyway. Wouldn’t want anyone to think their kid is one of “those” kids!

You’re reading way too much into what is a factual statement.

- Norwood parent of a kid with dyslexia and ADHD

Former Norwood parent of a kid with dyslexia, dysgraphia and ADHD that was only suggested to repeat a grade. So disappointed with the time we wasted there before diagnosis when I knew something wasn’t right. However, it was great for my NT child.

Our DS attended McLean School for middle school. At the time he applied, testing (THREE rounds of neuropsych testing since age 4! now five rounds!) indicated ADHD/high I.Q./anxiety and slow processing. The McLean School was a perfect fit for the first year. By year 2 and 3, he started having difficulty keeping up with the homework demands and social problems. It became too expensive for us and DS wanted programs that The McLean School didn't offer (athletics and a foreign language not offered) so we decided to go public. During that transition to public 9th grade, we did the fourth neuropsych and learned that DS had Asperger's syndrome, which is what it was then called. He got an IEP and sailed through public high school and college and is now self-sufficient and working. This answers the question why some students at the McLean School do have autism. It's not something that is often diagnosed easily even with the tens of thousands of dollars we have spent in testing. And it was true that the school was no longer serving his needs as the autism became more apparent so for us in the end public with an IEP worked. But The McLean School was a perfect fit for a time for us. Even back then it was clear that it does not serve autistic kids "well". Had DS had the autism diagnosis when we applied we would not have expected him to get in. OP should have done her homework and not exposed her daughter to the school before confirming fit. It's clear from the literature that the school does not service autism and if her consultant really did "call" (who calls anymore?) she needs to fire them. It's a great school for "lite" learning needs as someone else stated. It's not set up for behavioral or other diagnoses. If OP can't figure out the best schools in the area (there are many) call CHADD. Or Virginia Schools of Autism. https://viacenters.org/via-schools,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child graduated from McLean School last year. He had several friends in his class with ASD and we have known several over our years at the school. Perhaps what the Co-Head of School meant was that McLean serves less well those with ASD who need more support than they have available. I would agree with one of the other posts that being transparent can be helpful in searching for a new school.

It would be nice if they clarified what they meant. It’s even possible that Mclean is too low achieving academically for many kids on the spectrum. Lots of autistic kids are gifted and mainly just need more flexibility and acceptance but not support for learning disorders and attention. But I’m sure the Mclean head would never say “We are an option for kids who need more academic handholding - kids mildly on the spectrum will do better in a mainstream private.”

THe McLean School is very clear on its website. Why can no one read? Dyslexia, aDHD, executive functioning. No mention of autism. period.

OP, you want Auburn, Ivymonr, Newton, etc., here's a link from an older thread. Call Chadd and ask for schools that are good with autistic kids. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/936813.page