Anonymous wrote:
At the same time, I believe it doesn't matter if my kid goes to the #30 ranked university vs. the #80.

Anonymous wrote:It matters to me. I want my child to experience a bigger world than the one she’s grown up in, and I hope she doesn’t come back to the suburbs. I never wanted to end up there but I did. Almost all of the people I know who went to state schools came back home and live boring 2.5 kids soccer lives. Maybe they’re happy. I think some of them are. But I think a lot of them just never thought any bigger. She doesn’t have to go to an Ivy League school. She wouldn’t get in. But I want her to go somewhere where she’s exposed to a lot of different people and has options to experience things she wouldn’t otherwise. And you can tell me that’s not true and give me examples but I see it all around me.

Anonymous wrote:It's funny when affluent whites use all sorts of tactics such as legacy, donation, sports, even bribery, to send their kids to high profile colleges, it's the American way and tradition.

When Asians families try to send their kids to the schools with merit, they say it doesn't matter, and ask why you do that.

Anonymous wrote:It's funny when affluent whites use all sorts of tactics such as legacy, donation, sports, even bribery, to send their kids to high profile colleges, it's the American way and tradition.

When Asians families try to send their kids to the schools with merit, they say it doesn't matter, and ask why you do that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am betting though that OP, the non immigrant POC lawyer, still has the bamboo ceiling and model minority bias to deal with, from their white elite Ivy league educated colleagues. But you still insist it doesn’t matter which college they attend.

If she's working with racists then an Ivy degree isn't going to change their low opinion of her. They'll just think she was a boring grade-grubber who crammed for all her tests and somehow cheated on the SAT and LSAT.

No, it doesn't matter what college you attend.

Anonymous wrote:No one in the DMV truly believes it’s all that important where your kids go to college.

If they did, they would leave the DMV.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.

I'm sorry but I just don't agree that this applies to everyone. The assumption that wealth & eduction correlates with Middle class white culture is so off-putting. I'm asian and a child of immigrants- I've seen way too many successful lives destroyed by events that would never be life 'destroyers' for their white peers b/c of a lack of exposure to ideas/UMC ways of doing things and confidence. The difference that going to a top ten law school would make for my kid even though their parents are lawyers will be much much bigger than it is for your kids and there are plenty of immigrants, brown and black people and even first generation college grad white posters here and we know better than you how social mobility works b/c its something we have experienced for ourselves, not just read about in the Atlantic and VOX. I've seen first hand the difference in girls who go to George mason vs. even UVA/George Washington and what they've gone on to do with their lives. Exposure to a wider set of possibilities and the self concept that you are one of the ppl who should be applying to post docs at Magdalen college and MS at LSE and opening businesses with friends you met at NYU Beijing are vastly different than a fed contractor driving to target and their home in Burke with no USAID/FSO posting in sight day after miserable day. Many ppl on here have benefited from their superior merit and work ethic and want make sure that their kids move that one rung up to having even more choices and possibilities when their grandparents struggled and sacrificed. That is what ppl move here for, if I wanted to keep treading water, my father should've stayed home and not left his family and everyone he held dear.

+1
AMEN!!

Thank you. It is nerve wrecking to have discussions on this board because the majority lack basic knowledge about the experiences of immigrants especially brown and black people.

+1 have to agree. I'm a child of uneducated immigrants, and I went to a no name state u. I think if I had gone to a "better" school, it would've broadened my horizons, and I could've achieved a lot more.

that's not to say that I don't have a great life. I have a umc life, and I'm thankful for it. I eventually ended up at a FAANG. But, going to no name state u meant that I did not have that exposure and network to venture out more.

You don't have to go to a T10 to get that kind of exposure and experience, but where you go can and, often times, does impact the trajectory of your career.

+1000

Anyone who's in denial about the fact that where you go to college matters is just delusional. There was that study showing that the top 1% is disproportionately dominated by elite colleges.

Going to an elite college matters, full stop

Anonymous wrote:I believe that an recent immigrant or first generation family may genuinely believe that prestige matters because it's consistent with the overall "brand" of the American dream. However, it's simply incorrect. Upward mobility comes from a bit of educational success and a lot of professional and financial success. To echo the points of others, plenty of Ivy grads are sitting at desks and roaming in Target aisles next to folks who went to a perfectly mid-ranked state school. The key is what you learn, what opportunities you seize and what you do after school to build the foundation for your family.

I understand that this rocks the cliche assumption that East and South Asian families "demand" top education, but ultimately they would be better served focusing their finances and energy in other areas.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.

I'm sorry but I just don't agree that this applies to everyone. The assumption that wealth & eduction correlates with Middle class white culture is so off-putting. I'm asian and a child of immigrants- I've seen way too many successful lives destroyed by events that would never be life 'destroyers' for their white peers b/c of a lack of exposure to ideas/UMC ways of doing things and confidence. The difference that going to a top ten law school would make for my kid even though their parents are lawyers will be much much bigger than it is for your kids and there are plenty of immigrants, brown and black people and even first generation college grad white posters here and we know better than you how social mobility works b/c its something we have experienced for ourselves, not just read about in the Atlantic and VOX. I've seen first hand the difference in girls who go to George mason vs. even UVA/George Washington and what they've gone on to do with their lives. Exposure to a wider set of possibilities and the self concept that you are one of the ppl who should be applying to post docs at Magdalen college and MS at LSE and opening businesses with friends you met at NYU Beijing are vastly different than a fed contractor driving to target and their home in Burke with no USAID/FSO posting in sight day after miserable day. Many ppl on here have benefited from their superior merit and work ethic and want make sure that their kids move that one rung up to having even more choices and possibilities when their grandparents struggled and sacrificed. That is what ppl move here for, if I wanted to keep treading water, my father should've stayed home and not left his family and everyone he held dear.

+1
AMEN!!

Thank you. It is nerve wrecking to have discussions on this board because the majority lack basic knowledge about the experiences of immigrants especially brown and black people.

+1 have to agree. I'm a child of uneducated immigrants, and I went to a no name state u. I think if I had gone to a "better" school, it would've broadened my horizons, and I could've achieved a lot more.

that's not to say that I don't have a great life. I have a umc life, and I'm thankful for it. I eventually ended up at a FAANG. But, going to no name state u meant that I did not have that exposure and network to venture out more.

You don't have to go to a T10 to get that kind of exposure and experience, but where you go can and, often times, does impact the trajectory of your career.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.

I'm sorry but I just don't agree that this applies to everyone. The assumption that wealth & eduction correlates with Middle class white culture is so off-putting. I'm asian and a child of immigrants- I've seen way too many successful lives destroyed by events that would never be life 'destroyers' for their white peers b/c of a lack of exposure to ideas/UMC ways of doing things and confidence. The difference that going to a top ten law school would make for my kid even though their parents are lawyers will be much much bigger than it is for your kids and there are plenty of immigrants, brown and black people and even first generation college grad white posters here and we know better than you how social mobility works b/c its something we have experienced for ourselves, not just read about in the Atlantic and VOX. I've seen first hand the difference in girls who go to George mason vs. even UVA/George Washington and what they've gone on to do with their lives. Exposure to a wider set of possibilities and the self concept that you are one of the ppl who should be applying to post docs at Magdalen college and MS at LSE and opening businesses with friends you met at NYU Beijing are vastly different than a fed contractor driving to target and their home in Burke with no USAID/FSO posting in sight day after miserable day. Many ppl on here have benefited from their superior merit and work ethic and want make sure that their kids move that one rung up to having even more choices and possibilities when their grandparents struggled and sacrificed. That is what ppl move here for, if I wanted to keep treading water, my father should've stayed home and not left his family and everyone he held dear.

+1
AMEN!!

Thank you. It is nerve wrecking to have discussions on this board because the majority lack basic knowledge about the experiences of immigrants especially brown and black people.