OP is not getting the benefit of the doubt because she doesn't give direct answers. I also noticed she used a lot of qualifiers like "basically" being denied leave. It's still not clear to me if she's being denied the chance to use any leave for four months, which would be very unfair, or if she's just being denied the extended vacation she wants to take along with the wedding. I also would find it unfair if they won't let her take a few days over the entire maternity leave to attend a wedding, which is something that can't be rescheduled. I also don't think it would be fair to force her to use all of this calendar year's use or lose by September. Or to forfeit her leave if she's been denied.

What I think actually happened though is that they just don't want her out too long while she's covering and they denied a longer vacation. She's upset because she's traveling to the wedding anyway and wants to make it longer to save on travel costs and her boss said it was too long to go without coverage. That sucks too but it's not unreasonable on her employer's part. If I'm wrong then OP can clarify.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you just submitted your leave request, but the maternity leave had already been submitted prior to yours, no?

It doesn’t matter. They can’t just steal her leave like that

Sad how many people here are Stockholm Syndromed tools of capitalists with no class consciousness.

Anonymous wrote:I can’t understand the anger at OP.

I get that saying she’s being punished for not having kids is stupid, because it is stupid.

But, she’s right to be angry.

People seem to be taking this really personally like she’s coming after all parents and being disrespectful to maternity leave in itself. She’s just saying she should not have to do 2 jobs for 6 months….and she should not have to do that…..and she should be entitled to her leave.

OP: It is outrageous that I can't take off work for the specific time that I want to take off:

Also OP: I can't take a vacation with my husband in July and August, because he can't get off work for specific times, and so I need to be able to take time off when he can.

You really can't make up that kind of cluelessness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you just submitted your leave request, but the maternity leave had already been submitted prior to yours, no?

So friggin’ what. It is MY earned leave. I’m not being compensated for the loss. Ridiculous.

Take your leave at a different time so it doesn't overlap and therefore won't be denied.

Sounds like you waited too long.

The leave is to roll in a mini vacation in prior to a fall wedding. The wedding is far, so I’d like to take a few days off prior to the wedding so we can explore the area and make traveling that far worth it. I cannot move a wedding date.

It’s not my responsibility to accommodate maternity leave so that I can use my earned leave. If you are going to deny my leave, then I should be getting a cash payout at the end of the year.

Your colleague also cannot move the dates of her maternity leave. You could skip the wedding, if it's not worth it to travel for only the leave that has already been approved. You are being fairly nasty about your colleagues's maternity leave - why are you expecting anyone to be generous about your desire to sight-see before attending a wedding?

It is MY earned leave. Give it to me.

Why are you pro compensation theft? You must be terrible manager and employer.

Good god, woman, I swear I can hear your whiny voice from here. You sound like a teenager. Grow up. This is your own fault for having such a crappy job.

Anonymous wrote:I think the OP is not reacting well to the posts, but honestly if I was her, I would be livid too. Not being able to take leave from mid October to mid February is crazy. The longest amount of time I’ve ever been not able to request leave was working retail and there was a three week blackout date. When someone has been out of the office for medical leave for a month once, I was never not allowed to take a day off. I’d say anything beyond 2-4 weeks is unacceptable. Look for a new job, even if you lose your earned vacation time. Because it sounds like your job is going to be a living hell October to February.

I simply do not believe this is the case. I think OP put in for this wedding and it was denied, she asked why and they said they needed coverage due to someone being out on maternity leave, and because OP is an extremely reactive person with little to no ability to regulate her emotions or react rationally to bad news, she has taken this to mean she is not allowed to take any leave for four months. She has shot down a variety of suggestions, including people trying to help her get what she wants. She's purposefully misinterpreted multiple posters, including some who originally supported her and wanted to help her. And yes, she has continually said insulting things about parents or women who use maternity leave, as though that is who is to blame for this situation.

This is a solvable problem but OP doesn't want to solve it. She just wants to melt down.

Anonymous wrote:I can’t understand the anger at OP.

I get that saying she’s being punished for not having kids is stupid, because it is stupid.

But, she’s right to be angry.

People seem to be taking this really personally like she’s coming after all parents and being disrespectful to maternity leave in itself. She’s just saying she should not have to do 2 jobs for 6 months….and she should not have to do that…..and she should be entitled to her leave.

If you look at the first page of the thread, OP actually started out with a decent amount of goodwill. She spent it but raging constantly and screaming about how anyone who doesn't agree 100% with everything she's saying (including her allegation that this is somehow the fault of her colleague for taking federally mandated leave under her company's policy) supports wage theft.

I think the OP is not reacting well to the posts, but honestly if I was her, I would be livid too. Not being able to take leave from mid October to mid February is crazy. The longest amount of time I’ve ever been not able to request leave was working retail and there was a three week blackout date. When someone has been out of the office for medical leave for a month once, I was never not allowed to take a day off. I’d say anything beyond 2-4 weeks is unacceptable. Look for a new job, even if you lose your earned vacation time. Because it sounds like your job is going to be a living hell October to February.

I can’t understand the anger at OP.

I get that saying she’s being punished for not having kids is stupid, because it is stupid.

But, she’s right to be angry.

People seem to be taking this really personally like she’s coming after all parents and being disrespectful to maternity leave in itself. She’s just saying she should not have to do 2 jobs for 6 months….and she should not have to do that…..and she should be entitled to her leave.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you just submitted your leave request, but the maternity leave had already been submitted prior to yours, no?

So friggin’ what. It is MY earned leave. I’m not being compensated for the loss. Ridiculous.

Take it another time

No, the OP is right. Her office is not allowing any PTO from mid-September through the end of the year (and into February 2024). She also will lose any leave accumulated if she doesn't take it in the next 2 months. Who knows if she will lose out on PTO hours that accumulate beginning on September.

That's a terrible policy.

Then she should take the advice of the many patient, rational posters on this thread. Document all requests and the rejection in writing, find out exactly when she is being disallowed vacation (is it really the entire length of the maternity leave? even the month the colleague is taking to extend the leave with vacation/sick leave?), and then request recompense through HR. Whether that's getting to roll over her leave, or getting additional leave next year to make up for it, or getting allowance to take off for at least some of the time she's requesting, whatever. OP can decide in the course of that negotiation if the company is acting in good faith. If they don't, she can start looking for a new job.

But OP doesn't want to listen to reason, doesn't want to hear that this issues is common and has nothing to do with "being punished for not having kids" (lol). She just wants to rage and be told her boss is a big meanie and also trash parents and complain about her hyper-specific issues like the fact her DH can't travel July-September for some mysterious reason (also covering for someone on maternity leave? that would at least explain OP's fixation).

OP could have gotten a lot more empathy in this thread if she wasn't behaving like a child and lashing out. She lost all credibility. I no longer care what happens with OP, if she acts like this at work I'm guessing they are just freezing her out until she quits.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sounds like you should go on leave right now, before the maternity eave for the other person kicks in.

Yes this. It’s July.

Uhhhh no. The wedding is in Nov. I also have to coordinate weeks n advance with my spouse’s work schedule, and need time to plan and book reservations fir flights, hotels etc. It is also way more cost effective to book flights out 3-6 months out than a few weeks before travel.


There are many moving parts to planning leave.

Yes, including your employer’s consent

Somehow you’ve made me downright gleeful you’re not getting your way here. At this point it’s delicious schadenfreude.

You're not the only one.

Honestly, at this point I hope she throws and enormous fit at the office and, after HR calmly explains why she's wrong, she gets fired.

She sounds like an idiot and I'm relieved I don't work with her.

You all sound like a lot of drama. Maybe you should work together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You CAN have your earned leave. Just nit at the same time as the maternity leave.

You're not guaranteed your specific dates off, just that have time off .

Ridiculous logic. You can’t promise to compensate people with leave, as stipulated in their employment contract, then deny them from being able to use up their leave and making them lose it without cash compensation. That’s compensation theft.

I can't tell if OP is being deliberately obtuse, or is just a blithering idiot. But one more time, you *can* use the leave - at any time before the maternity leave begins. Just not for the dates of the wedding. You don't have to lose it.

But blacking out 1/4 of the year? That's silly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a right to use your leave, but your boss generally has the right to approve or deny WHEN you use it. Earning leave does not usually mean you get to take off whenever you want.

But, the boss must be reasonable. If you submit leave requests every month, and it's denied every month because "this isn't a good time", that is effectively denying your use of leave at all.

How long are you covering for the person on leave? If it's a short leave, or if you are trading off with someone and this happens to be your week, then the denial is reasonable. If you are covering for 6 months, and your boss is saying that you can't take any leave at all for those 6 months, that is not reasonable and you should talk to HR to ask for more information on the policy.

The person is going on maternity leave in October. They’re going on maternity leave for 3 months, then using an additional 4 weeks of their leave to add on an additional month of leave. They want me to basically start to cover everything they’re doing from mid-Sept as they ramp down before maternity leave and through to Feb 2024. Yes, so that’s effectively restricting my use of my earned leave for 4-5 months. How the hell could I possibly use my leave earlier like all of the stupid other posters claim. A) you don’t even know about maternity leave until a person is like 9-10 months pregnant and you still need a lot more time to plan leave and make sure you can coordinate with your spouse, and B) it has to overlap with a fall wedding like I already mentioned.

So you could use your leave for the rest of July, August, September, and some of October? It isn't being stolen from you.

Also, while you would like it to overlap with the wedding, it doesn't have to. As other have repeatedly said, you are not entitled to take leave on any particular date. That's the entire purpose of the approval process.

Cannot use it in July, Aug, or Sept, because my spouse has commitments at work. We already intended to go on leave to coincide with the wedding trip we already have to take to help reduce costs.

Must be nice having unlimited amounts of money like you so you can take leave at the last minute and have other spouse you have to coordinate with.

So you can't take vacation Jul-Sep because of your spouse's work commitments, then can't take vacation Oct-Feb because of your work commitments. That sucks, but it's not your boss's problem to work around your spouse's availability. In fact I think it's kind of funny that you have no problem saying that you "can't" leave for 3 months because of your spouse's job, but have very different expectations for your own job.

If you've been intending those dates for a long time, perhaps you should have cleared the schedule with your boss up front, rather than assuming you'll be able to do whatever you want?

-1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you just submitted your leave request, but the maternity leave had already been submitted prior to yours, no?

So friggin’ what. It is MY earned leave. I’m not being compensated for the loss. Ridiculous.

Take it another time

No, the OP is right. Her office is not allowing any PTO from mid-September through the end of the year (and into February 2024). She also will lose any leave accumulated if she doesn't take it in the next 2 months. Who knows if she will lose out on PTO hours that accumulate beginning on September.

That's a terrible policy.

Anonymous wrote:Fertility rates in the U.S. are low. Women having babies and men and anyone becoming a parent in 2023 has been given an elevated status.

Elevated status? BS