Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 22:39     Subject: Style choices that age women in their 40s
Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.


I know people are upset about this one, but it's true. I think people are upset because they know it's true. Very large breasts look matronly after a certain age. The word "bosom" comes to mind.

It's a trade off. Women who get a lot of attention for their boobs in their youth wind up looking grandmotherly faster because of those boobs. Women who with small boobs get to look youthful a little longer. I feel like it kind of balances out in the end.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 22:27     Subject: Re:Style choices that age women in their 40s
I am Indian so tunics (we say kurta) have been a big part of my life since my early 20’s and I don’t think I’ll ever give them up!
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 16:25     Subject: Style choices that age women in their 40s
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with tunics?


I'm trying to picture these tunics that keep getting mentioned. Can someone post a link or image? I don't think I have any but god help me if I do.


I think some of the fashion issues that folks have identified are more about avoiding what people who are older than us wear/wore, than being aging per se.


It's looks like this:

https://www.visionsofvogue.com/ootd-10-17-18-burgundy-sweater-tunic/

Loose fitting tops that hit at the hips worn untucked with skinny jeans. It's not ageing in the same way grey hair is, but it screams middle-aged woman who is out of style.


Ok so something like this is definitely stuck in the past and it is aging in that way because it’s not the current style, and it’s associated with people in the older millennial- younger Gen X demographic. This is different than the discussion of certain types of Capri pants which are de facto unflattering and also associated with an even older age demographic.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 16:06     Subject: Style choices that age women in their 40s
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wear capris length leggings all the time in the summer for my athleisure because I don't like shorts on me and I want to be comfortable--is that bad?

also, what jeans should we be wearing? I wear jeans so infrequently but when I do I can't seem to part with my skinny jeans. what are we supposed to wear? bootcut? flare? flare cropped? I'm confused. lol


I think capri leggings are unflattering, yes. The same reason as capri pants -- they are going to cut you off at the widest part of your calf. I would either go for a 7/8 legging (very flattering length, and you can get them in very thin, lightweight fabric that will be breathable in summer) or a bike short that comes to the knee. I don't generally like how my legs look and avoid shorts a lot, but the longer bike shorts have been making a come back and I'm going to try a pair this summer to wear on very casual days. I think it can look cute with a baggy tee and sneakers. It's very 80s, which is in.

As for jeans, if you like skinnies, stick with a slim straight cut. I think the skintight skinny jeans that are cut like leggings look bad -- a straighter leg will create a longer line. But you don't need to go wide leg or flare if that's not what you're used to or like. One of the main things about updating jeans from a generation ago is that you need a higher rise. Not like super high rise if that's not what you like or it doesn't look good on you, but you want jeans to sit at your natural waist.


Ok never thought about this for my capris leggings bc my calf is muscular and I have thin ankles so I thought it looked fine! But I’ll check out the 7/8 length. I think I have some but wear them in the fall.



Capris aren’t aging because of how they cut your leg or whatever you think is unflattering. They are aging because they are mostly worn by middle aged women who don’t want to show off their legs. There is little fundamentally aging about many of the clothes mentioned except 1) who wears and 2) whether it was a trend that is no longer trendy. (Ie, older people don’t keep up as much).


I'm the PP--when I think of capris, I think of loose fitting ones that are really unflattering. I didn't know my leggings fit into that category! oh well. I'm not going to give them up, but I will give more thought to the whole look. I hate showing off my legs even though really there's nothing wrong with them, but at 45, I just like to keep them mostly covered I do have shorts, but I wear them sparingly.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 15:58     Subject: Re:Style choices that age women in their 40s
I didn’t realize how much disdain there is for capris! What are options when it’s super super hot out and jeans are not comfortable, and skirts are not practical (eg sitting on a picnic blanket with little kids)?


Same! I just bought 3 pairs of these chinos for summer travel. Have I just outed myself as an out-of-touch old person?

https://www.frankandeileen.com/products/wickl...riant=39366478725194


You have definitely outed yourself as someone overpaying for casual pants that are not especially nice.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 15:54     Subject: Re:Style choices that age women in their 40s
It's looks like this:

https://www.visionsofvogue.com/ootd-10-17-18-burgundy-sweater-tunic/

Loose fitting tops that hit at the hips worn untucked with skinny jeans. It's not ageing in the same way grey hair is, but it screams middle-aged woman who is out of style.


I agree that it is unfashionable, rather than aging per se.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 15:51     Subject: Style choices that age women in their 40s
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with tunics?


I'm trying to picture these tunics that keep getting mentioned. Can someone post a link or image? I don't think I have any but god help me if I do.


I think some of the fashion issues that folks have identified are more about avoiding what people who are older than us wear/wore, than being aging per se.


It's looks like this:

https://www.visionsofvogue.com/ootd-10-17-18-burgundy-sweater-tunic/

Loose fitting tops that hit at the hips worn untucked with skinny jeans. It's not ageing in the same way grey hair is, but it screams middle-aged woman who is out of style.


Got it, okay I'm marked SAFE then :lol:
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 15:50     Subject: Style choices that age women in their 40s
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with tunics?


I'm trying to picture these tunics that keep getting mentioned. Can someone post a link or image? I don't think I have any but god help me if I do.


I think some of the fashion issues that folks have identified are more about avoiding what people who are older than us wear/wore, than being aging per se.


It's looks like this:

https://www.visionsofvogue.com/ootd-10-17-18-burgundy-sweater-tunic/

Loose fitting tops that hit at the hips worn untucked with skinny jeans. It's not ageing in the same way grey hair is, but it screams middle-aged woman who is out of style.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 15:42     Subject: Style choices that age women in their 40s
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wear capris length leggings all the time in the summer for my athleisure because I don't like shorts on me and I want to be comfortable--is that bad?

also, what jeans should we be wearing? I wear jeans so infrequently but when I do I can't seem to part with my skinny jeans. what are we supposed to wear? bootcut? flare? flare cropped? I'm confused. lol


I think capri leggings are unflattering, yes. The same reason as capri pants -- they are going to cut you off at the widest part of your calf. I would either go for a 7/8 legging (very flattering length, and you can get them in very thin, lightweight fabric that will be breathable in summer) or a bike short that comes to the knee. I don't generally like how my legs look and avoid shorts a lot, but the longer bike shorts have been making a come back and I'm going to try a pair this summer to wear on very casual days. I think it can look cute with a baggy tee and sneakers. It's very 80s, which is in.

As for jeans, if you like skinnies, stick with a slim straight cut. I think the skintight skinny jeans that are cut like leggings look bad -- a straighter leg will create a longer line. But you don't need to go wide leg or flare if that's not what you're used to or like. One of the main things about updating jeans from a generation ago is that you need a higher rise. Not like super high rise if that's not what you like or it doesn't look good on you, but you want jeans to sit at your natural waist.


Ok never thought about this for my capris leggings bc my calf is muscular and I have thin ankles so I thought it looked fine! But I’ll check out the 7/8 length. I think I have some but wear them in the fall.



Capris aren’t aging because of how they cut your leg or whatever you think is unflattering. They are aging because they are mostly worn by middle aged women who don’t want to show off their legs. There is little fundamentally aging about many of the clothes mentioned except 1) who wears and 2) whether it was a trend that is no longer trendy. (Ie, older people don’t keep up as much).
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 15:38     Subject: Style choices that age women in their 40s
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

I tend to feel colder than many other people.


Yep lots of women have poor circulation, and slim women/low-body-fat types have issues being cold. Or if you see the opposite - wearing short sleeves in the cold - they may be having hot flashes or something.


This. My MIL is rail thin (boomer eating disorder mentality) and had her HEAT on last week in Arlington. I swear she’s going to suffocate herself in that house. She constantly complains about being cold. That woman would be cold in the Sahara desert during summer.


I think you posted this in the wrong post?


No look at what was posted before.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 15:37     Subject: Style choices that age women in their 40s
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with tunics?


I'm trying to picture these tunics that keep getting mentioned. Can someone post a link or image? I don't think I have any but god help me if I do.


I think some of the fashion issues that folks have identified are more about avoiding what people who are older than us wear/wore, than being aging per se.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 15:36     Subject: Style choices that age women in their 40s
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The only things I think of as universally aging are beauty/grooming choices. I think women start looking a lot older with no makeup once we hit the late 30s/early 40s. A totally bare face makes you look older at this age, light/neutral makeup makes you look younger. If you’re avoiding light foundation because it “settles in your fine lines,” as a lot of people say, you’re either applying it wrong, not using the right kind of skin care/prep/moisturizers, or you’re using the wrong type of foundation.

Too short hair is prematurely aging. So is being visibly gray. Yes, some people can pull off the “full head of gray hair” look, and I think at a certain age it becomes kind of ageless in a way, but that age is certainly not newly 40.

Unfortunately, carrying weight in your chest/bust seems prematurely aging. Especially if you’re short you can get a dowdy/mumsy look and then it’s made worse by the fact that you generally buy clothes to fit your chest and then they’re too big in the waist/hips, so you look like you’re wearing your clothes too loose and that can make you look heavier as a result.


Interesting - I am turning 40 and I look soooo much younger when I wear no makeup. I use makeup to make myself look older. Otherwise I look like a 20 year old (this is not a good thing in my mind). I am Asian so that might be why. Most of the time I am afraid people think I am my kids nanny.


40 may not be the cut off point for you but at some point it will happen. At 49, I have definitely crossed the rubicon.


We lose color in our face as we age. For me at 39, I’m a white woman with mostly Eastern European and southern European heritage, I look better, more awake and refreshed, with light makeup and some blush on my cheeks. Again doesn’t have to be anything crazy and you can definitely use a tinted moisturizer or light coverage foundation, blush, and fill in brows in 5 minutes or less every morning.


I’m dark skinned so hyperpigmentation is the color issue. But I agree with your principles. Giving myself eyebrows and lashes and evening out the skin tone make a huge difference.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 15:29     Subject: Style choices that age women in their 40s
Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with tunics?


I'm trying to picture these tunics that keep getting mentioned. Can someone post a link or image? I don't think I have any but god help me if I do.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 15:28     Subject: Style choices that age women in their 40s
Anonymous wrote:

I tend to feel colder than many other people.


Yep lots of women have poor circulation, and slim women/low-body-fat types have issues being cold. Or if you see the opposite - wearing short sleeves in the cold - they may be having hot flashes or something.


This. My MIL is rail thin (boomer eating disorder mentality) and had her HEAT on last week in Arlington. I swear she’s going to suffocate herself in that house. She constantly complains about being cold. That woman would be cold in the Sahara desert during summer.


I think you posted this in the wrong post?
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2023 15:26     Subject: Style choices that age women in their 40s
Anonymous wrote:Any of those chin length beach wave bob haircuts that everyone thinks are so great now. All the middle aged women sport them so when you do, you look old. That and too much makeup.

Trying too hard to look polished backfires.


Okay so long hair ages you. Short hair ages you. Now chin length bob with beach waves AGES YOU? Honestly should we just shave our heads because based on your statement that is the only option left.

PS....you have no clue what you're talking about.