Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 11:09     Subject: Re:Relatives who always want to bring their dog!!!
Anonymous wrote:Dog needs to be boarded. DH is allergic to dogs so I get it OP. There is no need for you to be uncomfortable in your own home and a pool house is still part of your home. I have siblings who have dogs and live about an hour away. So while they don't stay overnight when they visit, it is a bit of a trip for them and they would not be able to stay as long if the dogs are at home. So when it's nice outside, I have no issue with them bringing their dogs to stay outside. I have a fenced yard and they are great about picking up after the dogs. I even keep a dog bowl and toys for them at the house. But when it's too cold to be outside the whole time, they make alternative arrangements. I'm not a dog person but their dogs are well-behaved and they are conscientious guests so I'm willing to bend. But staying in my house...nope.

In the same way, one of my siblings owns a vacation home and brings his dog with him. DH and I can't ever stay there for that reason. But it's their house, their rules and they obviously have the right to bring their dog there. We just don't go even though they are always asking us. It works both ways.


I seriously don't get why this sentiment isn't the end of the discussion. I have a dog that is super friendly and loved by everyone who meets him. I have a brother who is allergic to dogs. I can't fathom asking to bring my dog with me to stay in his poolhouse. Seriously? The person who owns the poolhouse is allergic to dogs and will have to go into that building at some point. Dog hair gets everywhere- it doesn't just leave with the dog.

Also when I go on vacation with my brother I board my dog and we seek out rentals that are not pet friendly because even if my dog isn't with me, pet friendly rentals have dog hair in them still.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 09:18     Subject: Relatives who always want to bring their dog!!!
Simple answer, your house your rules. If you want to set a boundary here, by all means.

Second answer, it's an acessory dwelling unit. How likely is it really to harm you to allow this? They want to come, they want to see you, you enjoy them, do you like them or not? Leaving your dogs for a long period and/or boarding them is financially unfeasible and emotionally difficult. If you want to help them out, consider allowing this. You could always have the place deep cleaned after if you feel it's necessary - and let them know in advance that they would need to contribute $X fee.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 08:04     Subject: Relatives who always want to bring their dog!!!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP you’re not allergic to their dog. You just hate dogs. Admit it.


It's her property. If she has to tell a white lie, so be it. She shouldn't need to justify it.


Agreed. Even if she isn’t allergic, it’s her house and she doesn’t need to allow dogs. I’m not allergic and even have a small non shedding dog. I don’t want large shedding dogs at my house.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2023 23:56     Subject: Relatives who always want to bring their dog!!!
Anonymous wrote:Hold firm, OP. Thankfully, our relatives who like to travel with their dog recently bought a camper van. They park the van outside our house, and the hangs out in the yard (on a tether) during the day and sleeps in the van at night. So, so much better for everyone. Maybe something like that could work here?


My immediate thought when reading this was "Merry Christmas! Sh*tter was full!".

Anyway, carry on.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2023 19:43     Subject: Relatives who always want to bring their dog!!!
People do not have to accommodate a dog in their home. End of discussion. Their home, their decision.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2023 19:08     Subject: Relatives who always want to bring their dog!!!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:i think visiting elderly mother - you could accommodate your husband's brother and sister in law in a pool house. If it were not family I would feel differently or if the purpose of the visit was more oriented to the visitors


+1

How often are they visiting? If they come this once, does that mean they're coming every other week from now on - or is this a couple times a year? For your husband's brother. For gd's sake I can't imagine telling my own brother he can't stay with me, to go see our mom.


No one is telling him he can't come, he just needs to board the dog.


Come on. Be reasonable here. Think like an actual person, not like a DCUM robot. It's such an unfriendly thing to do - especially now that there's a pool house.

OP can do what she wants. She's certainly getting a lot of encouragement to stand her ground here. But I would just recommend taking a step back and thinking about whether this is the hill you want to die on with your husband's brother and his wife - coming to visit your husband's elderly mother in a nursing home. Just take a step back and think about the right way to treat this situation.


If I zoom out and re-write this from the brother with the dog perspective, I would say "board your dog". Find a nice place or a pet sitter and choose the PEOPLE in your life over your animal. Because the dog will be dead in 10 years, but the rifts from forcing the animal on your human relationships when they have made their stance clear will remain.


+100000 I love how there is always one loon who gives into anything a rude family wants. I’m not sure if she’s the biggest doormat on the planet or one of the rude nasty people expecting to foist their dog or whatever on someone else.


I have a neighbor who is like this and it's because she has no family. She is the only child of a mom with no siblings. Her house looks like Pinterest threw up on it including the large "Welcome" sign at the front door. She is desperate to have traditional family events but even her mom isn't in to it. She will host all kinds of random people at holidays - she just wants numbers. They bring dogs, trash her house, etc. She would do anything to feel the experience of a large family. It's sad so I don a 't get too upset when she makes remarks about people being offended by something guests dogs did. She is all about putting up with rude things people do because it would just be her and her small family for every event.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2023 14:08     Subject: Re:Relatives who always want to bring their dog!!!
Let’s also be clear that the people bringing the dog are not doing it out of great love for the dog. Dog sitters and boarding has gotten really expensive and can be a massive hassle. If you have an anxiety dog or bad sitter/boarding you have to ether be ready to bail and come home or have a back up person that will take the dog. If you have two dogs, multiple that by two.

They are putting their convenience and cheapness over your needs.