Your financial life seems chaotic, I think what you're doing which is sitting down and focusing on your situation is great. You have the income to make your life feel so much more orderly and productive--it's going to feel really satisfying I think once you've got this figured out. Most people whose finances feel a mess don't have the kind of income you do to clean them up fairly easily.

I would:

1) Organize your debts with principal, minimum payment due and interest rate lined up. Put the debt with the highest interest rate as first priority to pay down. If none of your debts have an interest rate over 4%, consider how much you want to make this a priority over other investing goals. See #3.

2) Track your income and spending in big categories--no need to drive yourself crazy getting very fine-grained. Usually a six month period is enough to capture the unusual expenses--so go 6 months back on your credit cards and bank accounts. Remember to include as part of your savings how much you're contributing to retirement accounts (and your employer contributions).

3) If you're okay with how you are spending, look at what's left and make a reasoned decision how much to a) contribute to retirement accounts, b) contribute to kids' college savings, c) pay down debt by highest interest rate first, d) save for any other large planned expenses/emergency funds.

4) If you are not okay with how you are spending, review that more carefully and make some decisions. Even if you are okay with spending, I would look at some of your kids' activities and see how to pare down--not just for financial reasons, but also for sanity. That's a lot of scheduling in your lives when you have 3 kids! A rule like one paid activity at a time and no travel teams is perfectly viable for kids who are not going to be athletes. You want to leave room in their lives for school-based afterschool activities too.

Do you have 529s for the kids? Anything earmarked for college.

Pay off student loans

Pay off cars

Max out retirement

Reduce kid expenses. They are insane.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I highly recommend YNAB. It is a budget software/app that will help you plan out where you want to spend your money.

YNAB is love. YNAB is life.

Believe!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I highly recommend YNAB. It is a budget software/app that will help you plan out where you want to spend your money.

YNAB is love. YNAB is life.

I’ve written about this before but the amount of money we started saving once we started YNAB was amazing especially considering we were not at a high salary.

I use a different tool, but yes, it’s amazing to see the big picture and really understand your finances. I was flying blind for so many years. I know we’d have made some different choices in the past if I had really understood what was coming in and what was going out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I highly recommend YNAB. It is a budget software/app that will help you plan out where you want to spend your money.

YNAB is love. YNAB is life.

I’ve written about this before but the amount of money we started saving once we started YNAB was amazing especially considering we were not at a high salary.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You absolutely shouldn't be adding more to your mortgage! You'll never have another mortgage with interest rates so low. You should be maxing your retirement instead.

Guess what? Some people don't want a mortgage EVER, so it doesn't matter what mortgage rates are in the future. Also, believe it or not, not everyone's goal is having the biggest pile of money at age 65 - some people want to enjoy ALL of their life, and eliminating the biggest monthly bill we all have reduces stress for many people.

Our goal is having the “biggest pile of money” at 55, not 65.

Anonymous wrote:I highly recommend YNAB. It is a budget software/app that will help you plan out where you want to spend your money.

YNAB is love. YNAB is life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg I am about to have a conniption about my students loans.

I’ve essentially just been paying interest on it and barely even paying down the principal. I guess now is the time to pay it off.

Yes, OP. This is what happens when you only pay the minimum payments. When you mentioned that they would be paid off sooner rather than later, I wondered if you only had a year left in payments or something. Otherwise, you're facing years and years of accrued interest just paying the minimum. Direct the $1600/mo to the student loans while you pay your regular mortgage. Get those out of your life!! Then focus on your retirement, DH's retirement, 529s and...finally, the house.

+1000


Time to step up and stop indulging your husband's illogical silliness prioritizing the cheaper mortgage over the more expensive student loans!

Once the student loans are paid off, you can continue w/ the extra payments on the mortgage.

Anonymous wrote:Omg I am about to have a conniption about my students loans.

I’ve essentially just been paying interest on it and barely even paying down the principal. I guess now is the time to pay it off.

Yes, OP. This is what happens when you only pay the minimum payments. When you mentioned that they would be paid off sooner rather than later, I wondered if you only had a year left in payments or something. Otherwise, you're facing years and years of accrued interest just paying the minimum. Direct the $1600/mo to the student loans while you pay your regular mortgage. Get those out of your life!! Then focus on your retirement, DH's retirement, 529s and...finally, the house.

Omg I am about to have a conniption about my students loans.

I’ve essentially just been paying interest on it and barely even paying down the principal. I guess now is the time to pay it off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

Yesterday I got access to one of my retirement accounts online.
Today I requested an HSA debit card & got access to my other retirement account online. This all took 40 minutes today (no exaggeration), which is no excuse but I guess why it was easier to put it off. Overall I will say it is worth the time.

Tomorrow I will try to access my student loan balance online and go from there.

Thanks again!

I'm chiming in again, I tried to think more about your question of "how do you have your act together."

It's a decision to prioritize. I also have kids in swim, like you do. How many hours did you spend learning about the different clubs and age groups and options? And what did you say, else, dance? OMG, that's a commitment for support.

It's just a choice we make, what we take seriously and what we ignore.

I never added up what we pay for sports and music plus a few expensive camps. On op income she can afford it. However, if there is a cheaper good option with three kids I’d consider that.

We paid off our house recently and it’s great not to have that debt. But op should focus on the loan.

Years ago my husband's job subsidized our housing. Being mortgage/rent free is an absolute amazing feeling and we can't wait to replicate that again.

Anonymous wrote:You absolutely shouldn't be adding more to your mortgage! You'll never have another mortgage with interest rates so low. You should be maxing your retirement instead.

Guess what? Some people don't want a mortgage EVER, so it doesn't matter what mortgage rates are in the future. Also, believe it or not, not everyone's goal is having the biggest pile of money at age 65 - some people want to enjoy ALL of their life, and eliminating the biggest monthly bill we all have reduces stress for many people.

I love this thread and how persistent OP is being in getting her sh** together. One thing I haven’t seen asked is whether OP is currently contributing to retirement accounts. At your income, you should be maxing out your 401k. Even if your DH is saving a crazy amount in retirement accounts (and it may be substantial if it’s self-employment income), you want substantial retirement money in your name too. If something happens and you divorce, you don’t want to rely on getting a portion of his retirement savings as part of a settlement.