Anonymous
04/21/2023 12:22
Subject: Re:Any schools that put freshman in singles? DD won’t be able to handle sharing a bedroom
Anonymous wrote:I am a normal and well adjusted extrovert and I *wish* I had had a single as a freshman. I had singles sophomore and senior year and was much happier (I had a roommate when I studied abroad and that was no fun). Some people just want their own space. I find that to be totally fine and understandable. Sharing a ROOM with someone is no more preparation for "real life" than sharing an apartment or townhouse with someone; there's nothing sacred about having to sleep in the same room as someone else.
I said something like this above as well and I’m surprised so many people disagree. I don’t think it’s spoiled to not want to have your entire living space shared with a total stranger.
My DS is concerned about sharing because he’s a very early to bed early to rise kind of person. He’s going to have to develop some flexibility on this in college but even a suite would accomplish that. I shared a room one year in college with someone that blasted music and was on the phone every night talking loudly until 3am. I had an internship every morning at 9 that year. It was awful. I was constantly exhausted. And she was someone I was friends with going in! But she just refused to accommodate my schedule.
Anonymous
04/21/2023 12:10
Subject: Any schools that put freshman in singles? DD won’t be able to handle sharing a bedroom
I didn’t get along with my freshman roommate and ended up transferring to a single later in the year. That said, it was my own fault as I didn’t really answer my housing questionnaire honestly. And being in a single put me at a real disadvantage for making friends and having an initial peer group.
Even with my experience, I say force her to have a roommate
Even with my experience, I say force her to have a roommate
Anonymous
04/21/2023 12:00
Subject: Re:Any schools that put freshman in singles? DD won’t be able to handle sharing a bedroom
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is not HFA or SN. She gets annoyed easily at certain sounds & smells, however. She’s currently a junior in high school. She went to an 8 week sleep away camp in middle school and had a tough time living with others. She has former teammates who have complained about their college roommates when she’s seen them. She says that she absolutely could not handle sharing a room because her roommate might burn sage or incense, smoke pot, smoke cigarettes, leave the dorm room propped open to outside leaving the possibility of her stuff being stolen, be too loud at night or get mad at her for waking up really early as she prefers to do.
College room-sharing is a rite of passage, you move from your princess bedroom at home to learning how to live with others, adapt your timings, sharing space, going out of your comfort zone, being considerate, learning tolerance, respecting boundaries. It is not about schools shoving people into a room to conserve space- they could make doubles into singles very easily if it was.
OP, she needs to gain some abilities in living with others - she sounds entitled. "absolutely could not handle". No, she prefers, but she will learn to handle.
This is such an Americanized viewpoint. Kids all over the world do just fine with their own room in college.
Imagine that. A culture that has its own "rite of passage" traditions. Countries all over the world have their own way of marking passage too. Do you denigrate those?
Dorming is not a “rite of passage” in the U.S. since only upper middle class & wealthier people do it, with few exceptions. I grew up in a very poor area, and of the parents who didn’t outright kid their kids out, the rest commuted to college. Only the rich kids went away to dorm. The average college student is 24 years old. If an American 18 year old is attending college, it’s likely they’re commuting from wherever they live with their parents.
Going bar-hopping at 21 or getting your license at 16 might be considered “rites of passage” in the US.
Most kids don't do this.
Anonymous
04/21/2023 11:52
Subject: Re:Any schools that put freshman in singles? DD won’t be able to handle sharing a bedroom
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is not HFA or SN. She gets annoyed easily at certain sounds & smells, however. She’s currently a junior in high school. She went to an 8 week sleep away camp in middle school and had a tough time living with others. She has former teammates who have complained about their college roommates when she’s seen them. She says that she absolutely could not handle sharing a room because her roommate might burn sage or incense, smoke pot, smoke cigarettes, leave the dorm room propped open to outside leaving the possibility of her stuff being stolen, be too loud at night or get mad at her for waking up really early as she prefers to do.
College room-sharing is a rite of passage, you move from your princess bedroom at home to learning how to live with others, adapt your timings, sharing space, going out of your comfort zone, being considerate, learning tolerance, respecting boundaries. It is not about schools shoving people into a room to conserve space- they could make doubles into singles very easily if it was.
OP, she needs to gain some abilities in living with others - she sounds entitled. "absolutely could not handle". No, she prefers, but she will learn to handle.
This is such an Americanized viewpoint. Kids all over the world do just fine with their own room in college.
Imagine that. A culture that has its own "rite of passage" traditions. Countries all over the world have their own way of marking passage too. Do you denigrate those?
Dorming is not a “rite of passage” in the U.S. since only upper middle class & wealthier people do it, with few exceptions. I grew up in a very poor area, and of the parents who didn’t outright kid their kids out, the rest commuted to college. Only the rich kids went away to dorm. The average college student is 24 years old. If an American 18 year old is attending college, it’s likely they’re commuting from wherever they live with their parents.
Going bar-hopping at 21 or getting your license at 16 might be considered “rites of passage” in the US.
Just because you are privileged to do something doesn't mean it's not a right of passage. This is meaningless in the context of whether op's daughter should have a roommate or not.
Anonymous
04/21/2023 11:36
Subject: Re:Any schools that put freshman in singles? DD won’t be able to handle sharing a bedroom
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is not HFA or SN. She gets annoyed easily at certain sounds & smells, however. She’s currently a junior in high school. She went to an 8 week sleep away camp in middle school and had a tough time living with others. She has former teammates who have complained about their college roommates when she’s seen them. She says that she absolutely could not handle sharing a room because her roommate might burn sage or incense, smoke pot, smoke cigarettes, leave the dorm room propped open to outside leaving the possibility of her stuff being stolen, be too loud at night or get mad at her for waking up really early as she prefers to do.
College room-sharing is a rite of passage, you move from your princess bedroom at home to learning how to live with others, adapt your timings, sharing space, going out of your comfort zone, being considerate, learning tolerance, respecting boundaries. It is not about schools shoving people into a room to conserve space- they could make doubles into singles very easily if it was.
OP, she needs to gain some abilities in living with others - she sounds entitled. "absolutely could not handle". No, she prefers, but she will learn to handle.
This is such an Americanized viewpoint. Kids all over the world do just fine with their own room in college.
Imagine that. A culture that has its own "rite of passage" traditions. Countries all over the world have their own way of marking passage too. Do you denigrate those?
Dorming is not a “rite of passage” in the U.S. since only upper middle class & wealthier people do it, with few exceptions. I grew up in a very poor area, and of the parents who didn’t outright kid their kids out, the rest commuted to college. Only the rich kids went away to dorm. The average college student is 24 years old. If an American 18 year old is attending college, it’s likely they’re commuting from wherever they live with their parents.
Going bar-hopping at 21 or getting your license at 16 might be considered “rites of passage” in the US.
Anonymous
04/21/2023 11:31
Subject: Re:Any schools that put freshman in singles? DD won’t be able to handle sharing a bedroom
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is not HFA or SN. She gets annoyed easily at certain sounds & smells, however. She’s currently a junior in high school. She went to an 8 week sleep away camp in middle school and had a tough time living with others. She has former teammates who have complained about their college roommates when she’s seen them. She says that she absolutely could not handle sharing a room because her roommate might burn sage or incense, smoke pot, smoke cigarettes, leave the dorm room propped open to outside leaving the possibility of her stuff being stolen, be too loud at night or get mad at her for waking up really early as she prefers to do.
College room-sharing is a rite of passage, you move from your princess bedroom at home to learning how to live with others, adapt your timings, sharing space, going out of your comfort zone, being considerate, learning tolerance, respecting boundaries. It is not about schools shoving people into a room to conserve space- they could make doubles into singles very easily if it was.
OP, she needs to gain some abilities in living with others - she sounds entitled. "absolutely could not handle". No, she prefers, but she will learn to handle.
This is such an Americanized viewpoint. Kids all over the world do just fine with their own room in college.
Imagine that. A culture that has its own "rite of passage" traditions. Countries all over the world have their own way of marking passage too. Do you denigrate those?
Anonymous
04/21/2023 11:25
Subject: Any schools that put freshman in singles? DD won’t be able to handle sharing a bedroom
tldr but UChicago has singles available for first years.
Anonymous
04/21/2023 10:44
Subject: Re:Any schools that put freshman in singles? DD won’t be able to handle sharing a bedroom
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is not HFA or SN. She gets annoyed easily at certain sounds & smells, however. She’s currently a junior in high school. She went to an 8 week sleep away camp in middle school and had a tough time living with others. She has former teammates who have complained about their college roommates when she’s seen them. She says that she absolutely could not handle sharing a room because her roommate might burn sage or incense, smoke pot, smoke cigarettes, leave the dorm room propped open to outside leaving the possibility of her stuff being stolen, be too loud at night or get mad at her for waking up really early as she prefers to do.
College room-sharing is a rite of passage, you move from your princess bedroom at home to learning how to live with others, adapt your timings, sharing space, going out of your comfort zone, being considerate, learning tolerance, respecting boundaries. It is not about schools shoving people into a room to conserve space- they could make doubles into singles very easily if it was.
OP, she needs to gain some abilities in living with others - she sounds entitled. "absolutely could not handle". No, she prefers, but she will learn to handle.
What a UMC white point of view.
Anonymous
04/21/2023 10:43
Subject: Re:Any schools that put freshman in singles? DD won’t be able to handle sharing a bedroom
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is not HFA or SN. She gets annoyed easily at certain sounds & smells, however. She’s currently a junior in high school. She went to an 8 week sleep away camp in middle school and had a tough time living with others. She has former teammates who have complained about their college roommates when she’s seen them. She says that she absolutely could not handle sharing a room because her roommate might burn sage or incense, smoke pot, smoke cigarettes, leave the dorm room propped open to outside leaving the possibility of her stuff being stolen, be too loud at night or get mad at her for waking up really early as she prefers to do.
There is no smoking or burning of candles/incense allowed in dorms. It's a fire hazard. The rest of the stuff she just needs to get over. It's important to learn to compromise with a roommate and talk through disagreements. It's a skill that will serve her well in life.
Kids do all of that anyway even though it’s against the rules.
Anonymous
04/21/2023 10:42
Subject: Any schools that put freshman in singles? DD won’t be able to handle sharing a bedroom
Anonymous wrote:Quit being so over-indulgent to your kid - you are NOT doing her a favor.
Next thing will be: "She doesn't want to share the toilet or bathing facilities" and "She wants one-on-one lecturing from the professors" and "She wants her meals brought to her in her (single) room".
The solution to your DD's problems are a shrink.
WTH is wrong with people. This is such ridiculous slippery sloping.
Anonymous
04/21/2023 10:41
Subject: Re:Any schools that put freshman in singles? DD won’t be able to handle sharing a bedroom
I am a normal and well adjusted extrovert and I *wish* I had had a single as a freshman. I had singles sophomore and senior year and was much happier (I had a roommate when I studied abroad and that was no fun). Some people just want their own space. I find that to be totally fine and understandable. Sharing a ROOM with someone is no more preparation for "real life" than sharing an apartment or townhouse with someone; there's nothing sacred about having to sleep in the same room as someone else.
Anonymous
04/21/2023 10:39
Subject: Any schools that put freshman in singles? DD won’t be able to handle sharing a bedroom
Quit being so over-indulgent to your kid - you are NOT doing her a favor.
Next thing will be: "She doesn't want to share the toilet or bathing facilities" and "She wants one-on-one lecturing from the professors" and "She wants her meals brought to her in her (single) room".
The solution to your DD's problems are a shrink.
Next thing will be: "She doesn't want to share the toilet or bathing facilities" and "She wants one-on-one lecturing from the professors" and "She wants her meals brought to her in her (single) room".
The solution to your DD's problems are a shrink.
Anonymous
04/21/2023 10:38
Subject: Any schools that put freshman in singles? DD won’t be able to handle sharing a bedroom
Severe allergies and resulting respiratory infections which require room to be kept free of certain allergens and dust.
Anonymous
04/21/2023 10:38
Subject: Re:Any schools that put freshman in singles? DD won’t be able to handle sharing a bedroom
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is not HFA or SN. She gets annoyed easily at certain sounds & smells, however. She’s currently a junior in high school. She went to an 8 week sleep away camp in middle school and had a tough time living with others. She has former teammates who have complained about their college roommates when she’s seen them. She says that she absolutely could not handle sharing a room because her roommate might burn sage or incense, smoke pot, smoke cigarettes, leave the dorm room propped open to outside leaving the possibility of her stuff being stolen, be too loud at night or get mad at her for waking up really early as she prefers to do.
College room-sharing is a rite of passage, you move from your princess bedroom at home to learning how to live with others, adapt your timings, sharing space, going out of your comfort zone, being considerate, learning tolerance, respecting boundaries. It is not about schools shoving people into a room to conserve space- they could make doubles into singles very easily if it was.
OP, she needs to gain some abilities in living with others - she sounds entitled. "absolutely could not handle". No, she prefers, but she will learn to handle.
This is such an Americanized viewpoint. Kids all over the world do just fine with their own room in college.
Anonymous
04/21/2023 10:35
Subject: Any schools that put freshman in singles? DD won’t be able to handle sharing a bedroom
Anonymous wrote:Sounds a bit spoiled if you ask me. It’s all part of growing up. If she doesn’t want to live with someone, she needs to commute and live at home.
+1 having roommates etc is a phase of life and requires adjustment for most ppl. It's part of the college experience. Good opportunity for your DD not to be coddled and get over it.