Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any comeback that’s crowdsourced from a bunch of moms on the internet is probably not going to go over well with mean middle school kids. This sounds like an Onion article.

Usually I would agree but the “why are you so obsessed with me?” was practiced at home and used by kid in middle school. Any variation works too. “You seem to like staring at my body” and many others DCUM wouldn’t approve of. Think of being a middle school boy. If you are offended, it’s likely a good comeback.

I like these suggestions. May not be politically correct, but c'mon the kid is being picked on and embarrassed in school.

Yup, and good comeback is one that the middle age women on this forum wouldn't approve of. If they do approve it, its just going to make OP's kid look lame. It's has be offensive.

Even the "you seem to like starting at my body" isn't quite offensive enough. It's on the right track, but it needs to go farther

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the responses on here are super lame.

At the very least, he could just be really direct and really mean:

"dude, stfu, or at least, do the rest of the us a favor, and go kill yourself"

NEVER SAY THIS TO ANYONE. You don't know who may be suicidal.

I understand what you're saying. But when the bullying amounts to more than just playground teasing, I kind of don't care.

When you've tried ignoring. When you've tried rolling your eyes and saying 'whatever.' When you've tried talking to the teachers, counselors and administration. When you've tried avoiding (like changing your walking route home, but the bully still finds you)...

When you've tried all that and it keeps happening. For months. When there are tears. When your child begs to skip school, for just one day, to avoid the bully.

Then no, I honestly don't care if that bully gets their feelings hurt. I don't care if we dig up some dirt on his family and introduce trauma into his life. And I don't care if they are actually suicidal.

So, yes, If you've tried all those other things, I would be perfectly fine with my DC telling the bully to go play in traffic, or drink bleach, and swallow a bullet.

I know people will reply that I'm a horrible person. And maybe I am. But my priority is my child. I couldn't give a flying F about the bully

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any comeback that’s crowdsourced from a bunch of moms on the internet is probably not going to go over well with mean middle school kids. This sounds like an Onion article.

Usually I would agree but the “why are you so obsessed with me?” was practiced at home and used by kid in middle school. Any variation works too. “You seem to like staring at my body” and many others DCUM wouldn’t approve of. Think of being a middle school boy. If you are offended, it’s likely a good comeback.

I like these suggestions. May not be politically correct, but c'mon the kid is being picked on and embarrassed in school.

Anonymous wrote:Most of the responses on here are super lame.

At the very least, he could just be really direct and really mean:

"dude, stfu, or at least, do the rest of the us a favor, and go kill yourself"

NEVER SAY THIS TO ANYONE. You don't know who may be suicidal.

Best comebacks:

* Say nothing, Walkcaway
* Practice being stoic in public, and open up in private conversations
* Develop a talent to be proud of
* Make friends with good people. Keep company when walking around.
* Exercise and eat well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

God no. No no no. That's the worst thing. He would be engaging in a battle of snarly mean wittiness with kids who are probably more socially adept, and would lose and just look foolish. The main solution is to shrug and ignore them and make it as boring as possible for them to taunt him. And yes, it is bullying, so the other solution is to talk to the school and stand up for your child.

Nope.

The solution is to out-arm him; you need to find the powerful ammo. What I'm about to say will sound crazy.

But you need to get the names of the kids. Look up the social media of the parents. Look up their case history (super easy in Maryland, btw). Scroll through all of it.

Maybe their mom is obese. Go for the jugular.
Maybe their dad had a DUI ten years ago? I bet the bully doesn't even know that! That's gold.
Maybe mom had a previous marriage that kid doesn't know about? Use that to obliterate the bully.

It's not just about playground teasing. Have the kid go nuclear and it'll stop immediately. As I previously said, you might get a call from the principal, but your kid will stop getting teased

I'll add: I say this all from experience.

Last year, my DS, age 14 at the time, was getting teased a lot in gym class. He played for one baseball team and a group of boys in the same MS played for a different one. And it was non-stop. Not just about baseball, about everything. There were tears at home, and my partner kept advising to just ignore and walk away. It just ATE him up inside.

I couldn't stand it anymore. So my partner finally listened to my advice to let him stand up for himself. We discovered that one of the kid's dad (and a coach on the team!) had been sentenced to 4 years in prison in the early 2000s for grand larceny. The kid didn't know that about his dad.

And guess what? We get that info in the chamber, until the perfect moment. Right when the kid tried to push my DS out of his seat in the lunchroom, he busted out the comments about theft running in the family and 'better be careful, or you'll end at Rikers like your Dad. Oh, you guys didnt know that Billy's dad was in prison? You should ask him at your next practce."

Definitely risky. And the boys still hate each other. But the comments have stopped.

Yeah, I'm sure you just "discovered" it, right???
Like you didn't do a deep dive on Google looking up dirt to use against this kid.
That is a really low blow... way to be proud of giving a kid traumatic information that had nothing to do with you

I'm not sure why the word 'discovers' bothers you. I literally said that you need to dig up dirt on the kids and their parents.

And look, there are so many people that like to pretend the world is rainbows and lollipops. It's not.

I would be livid if my kid is a bully. Abusing kids for no reason.

But I'm also teaching my kids to not take s%hit from anybody.

I'm not proud of "giving a kid traumatic information" but I am proud that I taught my kid to stand up for himself.

That kid got what was coming. It's not like we're talking about 5 year olds. These are 14 years old young men that should know better. So f around and find out. That kid did

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

God no. No no no. That's the worst thing. He would be engaging in a battle of snarly mean wittiness with kids who are probably more socially adept, and would lose and just look foolish. The main solution is to shrug and ignore them and make it as boring as possible for them to taunt him. And yes, it is bullying, so the other solution is to talk to the school and stand up for your child.

Nope.

The solution is to out-arm him; you need to find the powerful ammo. What I'm about to say will sound crazy.

But you need to get the names of the kids. Look up the social media of the parents. Look up their case history (super easy in Maryland, btw). Scroll through all of it.

Maybe their mom is obese. Go for the jugular.
Maybe their dad had a DUI ten years ago? I bet the bully doesn't even know that! That's gold.
Maybe mom had a previous marriage that kid doesn't know about? Use that to obliterate the bully.

It's not just about playground teasing. Have the kid go nuclear and it'll stop immediately. As I previously said, you might get a call from the principal, but your kid will stop getting teased

I'll add: I say this all from experience.

Last year, my DS, age 14 at the time, was getting teased a lot in gym class. He played for one baseball team and a group of boys in the same MS played for a different one. And it was non-stop. Not just about baseball, about everything. There were tears at home, and my partner kept advising to just ignore and walk away. It just ATE him up inside.

I couldn't stand it anymore. So my partner finally listened to my advice to let him stand up for himself. We discovered that one of the kid's dad (and a coach on the team!) had been sentenced to 4 years in prison in the early 2000s for grand larceny. The kid didn't know that about his dad.

And guess what? We get that info in the chamber, until the perfect moment. Right when the kid tried to push my DS out of his seat in the lunchroom, he busted out the comments about theft running in the family and 'better be careful, or you'll end at Rikers like your Dad. Oh, you guys didnt know that Billy's dad was in prison? You should ask him at your next practce."

Definitely risky. And the boys still hate each other. But the comments have stopped.

Yeah, I'm sure you just "discovered" it, right???
Like you didn't do a deep dive on Google looking up dirt to use against this kid.
That is a really low blow... way to be proud of giving a kid traumatic information that had nothing to do with you

+1
I mean you won, but you had to drag your kid in the mud with you.
If that's the way it works for you , sure and godspeed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

God no. No no no. That's the worst thing. He would be engaging in a battle of snarly mean wittiness with kids who are probably more socially adept, and would lose and just look foolish. The main solution is to shrug and ignore them and make it as boring as possible for them to taunt him. And yes, it is bullying, so the other solution is to talk to the school and stand up for your child.

Nope.

The solution is to out-arm him; you need to find the powerful ammo. What I'm about to say will sound crazy.

But you need to get the names of the kids. Look up the social media of the parents. Look up their case history (super easy in Maryland, btw). Scroll through all of it.

Maybe their mom is obese. Go for the jugular.
Maybe their dad had a DUI ten years ago? I bet the bully doesn't even know that! That's gold.
Maybe mom had a previous marriage that kid doesn't know about? Use that to obliterate the bully.

It's not just about playground teasing. Have the kid go nuclear and it'll stop immediately. As I previously said, you might get a call from the principal, but your kid will stop getting teased

I'll add: I say this all from experience.

Last year, my DS, age 14 at the time, was getting teased a lot in gym class. He played for one baseball team and a group of boys in the same MS played for a different one. And it was non-stop. Not just about baseball, about everything. There were tears at home, and my partner kept advising to just ignore and walk away. It just ATE him up inside.

I couldn't stand it anymore. So my partner finally listened to my advice to let him stand up for himself. We discovered that one of the kid's dad (and a coach on the team!) had been sentenced to 4 years in prison in the early 2000s for grand larceny. The kid didn't know that about his dad.

And guess what? We get that info in the chamber, until the perfect moment. Right when the kid tried to push my DS out of his seat in the lunchroom, he busted out the comments about theft running in the family and 'better be careful, or you'll end at Rikers like your Dad. Oh, you guys didnt know that Billy's dad was in prison? You should ask him at your next practce."

Definitely risky. And the boys still hate each other. But the comments have stopped.

Yeah, I'm sure you just "discovered" it, right???
Like you didn't do a deep dive on Google looking up dirt to use against this kid.
That is a really low blow... way to be proud of giving a kid traumatic information that had nothing to do with you

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
* sorry for the typos...

and one other thing, make sure it's a really pronounced, exaggerated yawn... arms all out to the sides when doing it, because they'll look extra dumb when all the other 12 year olds laugh at it. If they do say anything back, all he had to say is I'm bored of this... aren't you bored? Because this is so painfully (exaggerate on the word painfully) boring.

Honestly, did you guys ever actually go to Middle School?

This is horrible HORRIBLE advice

A big yawn? GTFO

We'll, I see we've found where the mean kid are getting their attitude from. 🧐

Not the pp, but this is the way to go because they don't know how to react. Mean kids are waiting for all of the usual responses & comebacks, but when you just yawn or side eye them, they don't know how to react.

Anonymous wrote:Bullies will look for a reaction...they want the target to get all upset.

A comeback will feel better while you are planning it, but will likely escalate things.

But an unconcerned shrug and walk away will stop the bullying much faster.

100% -- the only sensible answer on this thread.

We were in the car once when an old friend was visiting. He made a dig at my son, who just shrugged. His brother also shrugged, but he and friends seem to now toss insults at each other at 17, but that's not his older brother's style. 17yo told me he's had random insults tossed at him, but he generally thinks the kids are crazy, so it doesn't really bother him.

Your DS should work on his thoughts about himself, rather than some witty retort that will surely fail.

Anonymous wrote:You have the POWER to do NOTHING! That’s the upper hand. The bully wants a response. A ‘nothing response’ is more powerful than you think. Practice being emotionless and as if you can see right through them. You showing that you absolutely don’t care about them or their comments is frustrating to the bully.

Yes, the bully wants a response. But not from his victims, from his peers.

So if the victim does nothing, but other people still laugh, or if he still gets to feel 'big' in front of others, then the emotionless response is not effective. Bc the bullying is STILL getting what they want.

This is why doing nothing almost never works.

You either need to avoid or confront.

The people that have advised avoid (ie change schools) have a point: it would end the bullying from that particular child. But its a cumbersome response to a problem that will likely return from a different bully at the new school.

Confront is the only tool that OP's kid can keep with them and deploy as needed

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS12 is facing lots of meanness at school - he is a skinny, not very strong kid and they call him 'weak', 'slow' ,etc. Not bullying, just kids being kind of nasty. He is a bit overly sensitive about it too. I think he needs to practice comebacks that will better stand up for himself. He says he can never think of a comeback so I think we need to practice these at homes. Any thoughts on how to help him build these skills? Or what specific comebacks might be useful for this situation?

You need to move him to a different school.

That's cowardice.

Who cares. Life is too short to let your kid get bullied like this.

Nah. I'm not gonna raise a doormat

Your poor kid.

Okay, but on the other hand, my kid doesnt get picked on.

And even better, never had to move schools and make new friends

So ya know, you do you. To each their own

You have the POWER to do NOTHING! That’s the upper hand. The bully wants a response. A ‘nothing response’ is more powerful than you think. Practice being emotionless and as if you can see right through them. You showing that you absolutely don’t care about them or their comments is frustrating to the bully.

Anonymous wrote:I think “not caring” is usually the best solution. The goal would be to to respond with side eye and uh ok and, ideally, the implication that the other person is doing too much and being extra.

This. Can’t believe all the mama sex jokes ideas. Terrible idea

Ignore ignore ignore