My boyfriend has full custody of his teenagers and has since his XW abandoned them for a boyfriend when they were little. She has mental health and addiction issues so it’s much better for the kids. She does come around for photo opportunities a few times a year so she can post on social media what a great mom she is. The oldest sees her maybe four times a year (she lives 15 minutes away). I’d bet she’s on the dating apps. Buyer beware.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went on exactly one date with a dude who not only didn't have custody, he had to have supervised visits with his kids. They had to meet in a neutral place, with a social worker present.

I'm so glad that I found this out after the first date.

DTMFA.

One or both in that relationship are toxic. Either way, you should run. Messy home life.

I have full custody of my children because he became an addict. My kids are grown and the last one almost out of the house, but it’s sad to hear that even after my kids leave the nest my ex would still have a hold on my dating life simply because he went off the rails years ago. I don’t hate him at all but he was not capable of watching the kids on his own. I had to put up with years of raising them on a single income and now just want to be able to enjoy life in peace.

I fought for full custody of my kids, and I won. But it was the fight of my life. I'm a man if that matters and I needed to keep them away from her.

I had a first date with a women just recently and I like her but her ex has full custody of her teenage children. It definitely is giving me pause and I want to question her about it. If I'd known before our date, I would not have made the date.

So yeah, I think it's a red flag but find out the details if you can.

Anonymous wrote:I do not know. It depends and is worth finding out more info.

One of my colleagues lives in an expensive city in a small place. The dad is remarried and lives in a spacious house so the kids live there. I am not sure if my colleague technically has shared custody or not but they don’t have room in their small place for kids. Money is an issue, I think.

My colleague picks their kids up from school and sees them on weekends and holidays.

This is me except it’s less due to money and more due to my commute and work schedule.

huh?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is their explanation for the fill custody situation?

Barring they decided to relocate to a major career bump and then they have the kids in the summer or major breaks, there aren’t very flattering reasons for giving up ALL custody.
I know very busy career men who have 20% but it’s clear they were far from the default or half parent before or currently. I don’t want kids so I don’t care. If I did want kids and a present partner I’d really avoid work addicts.

This

Show me the mom who would give up custody to relocate for a major career bump. Seldom happens. Really rare. And people generally regard her as having abandoned the children.

Anonymous wrote:RED FLAG.

IMO the best is every other week custody. That way you know he isnt an ass who didnt get custody of his kids, but you can be with him alone a full week every other week.

I started out dating someone on that schedule and now he has full custody. Full custody sucks. He just doesn't have much time for me. If we break up, I am only dating guys whose kids have fully launched.

I dated a guy would would blame his lack of availability on his childcare schedule as well as his ex. So many stories. I found out later it was not exactly true. He just liked having his own schedule. We never saw each other.

Anonymous wrote:I went on exactly one date with a dude who not only didn't have custody, he had to have supervised visits with his kids. They had to meet in a neutral place, with a social worker present.

I'm so glad that I found this out after the first date.

DTMFA.

One or both in that relationship are toxic. Either way, you should run. Messy home life.

I know a nice lady who had to be supervised. She was a home schooler. Her spouse was military or a pilot. He wanted the kids majority time and petitioned the court for it. (Not in NoVa) but a less populated part of the state. He also petitioned for supervision” during some time. I don’t know the details but to me, it seemed amazing. I guess the fight was about homeschooling

She said he had a good lawyer.

I went on exactly one date with a dude who not only didn't have custody, he had to have supervised visits with his kids. They had to meet in a neutral place, with a social worker present.

I'm so glad that I found this out after the first date.

DTMFA.