Anonymous wrote:All OP said was that her child has been subject to in person and online bullying and it was impacting their mental health, and somehow the thread became convinced that OP’s child was a bigot or a Christian fundamentalist who had harassed other kids. Why? I truly do not understand.

I am super far left and some of these comments scare me. Especially the assumption that if someone has been bullied or harassed, there MUST be a valid reason why. Here’s a short list of reasons kids in my high school got this treatment: they smelled bad (housing insecure or very poor, or lived/worked on a farm and smelled like it), unattractive or very unfashionably dressed, highly sensitive (prone to crying or emotional outbursts), being Muslim in an overwhelmingly Christian town, simply being weird or awkward. It’s insane to me, after seeing this in my own teenage experience, that you would assume the bullied/harassed kid DESERVED what happened to them. Teenagers Target and can be especially vicious to the kids who (1) seem the most different, and (2) seem the most vulnerable. That second part is especially frustrating— bullies target victims who are unlikely to fight back, get support from others, be believed, etc. this is how bullying works.

And yet you’ve all collectively decided that if OP’s child is going through this teenage hell, it MUST be their fault. This is a child we’re talking about. 13/14 years old. What the actual hell?

I am pro-choice, pro-LGBTQ+, anti-racist, and an advocate for sexual assault survivors and there is no justification for “cancelling” a 13 year old unless they committed a crime, and even then I’d urge rehabilitation efforts. If this child was expressing wrong-headed views, that’s a reason for conversations, not total ostracism.

Seriously: what is wrong with y’all?

Anonymous wrote:All OP said was that her child has been subject to in person and online bullying and it was impacting their mental health, and somehow the thread became convinced that OP’s child was a bigot or a Christian fundamentalist who had harassed other kids. Why? I truly do not understand.

I am super far left and some of these comments scare me. Especially the assumption that if someone has been bullied or harassed, there MUST be a valid reason why. Here’s a short list of reasons kids in my high school got this treatment: they smelled bad (housing insecure or very poor, or lived/worked on a farm and smelled like it), unattractive or very unfashionably dressed, highly sensitive (prone to crying or emotional outbursts), being Muslim in an overwhelmingly Christian town, simply being weird or awkward. It’s insane to me, after seeing this in my own teenage experience, that you would assume the bullied/harassed kid DESERVED what happened to them. Teenagers Target and can be especially vicious to the kids who (1) seem the most different, and (2) seem the most vulnerable. That second part is especially frustrating— bullies target victims who are unlikely to fight back, get support from others, be believed, etc. this is how bullying works.

And yet you’ve all collectively decided that if OP’s child is going through this teenage hell, it MUST be their fault. This is a child we’re talking about. 13/14 years old. What the actual hell?

I am pro-choice, pro-LGBTQ+, anti-racist, and an advocate for sexual assault survivors and there is no justification for “cancelling” a 13 year old unless they committed a crime, and even then I’d urge rehabilitation efforts. If this child was expressing wrong-headed views, that’s a reason for conversations, not total ostracism.

Seriously: what is wrong with y’all?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All OP said was that her child has been subject to in person and online bullying and it was impacting their mental health, and somehow the thread became convinced that OP’s child was a bigot or a Christian fundamentalist who had harassed other kids. Why? I truly do not understand.

I am super far left and some of these comments scare me. Especially the assumption that if someone has been bullied or harassed, there MUST be a valid reason why. Here’s a short list of reasons kids in my high school got this treatment: they smelled bad (housing insecure or very poor, or lived/worked on a farm and smelled like it), unattractive or very unfashionably dressed, highly sensitive (prone to crying or emotional outbursts), being Muslim in an overwhelmingly Christian town, simply being weird or awkward. It’s insane to me, after seeing this in my own teenage experience, that you would assume the bullied/harassed kid DESERVED what happened to them. Teenagers Target and can be especially vicious to the kids who (1) seem the most different, and (2) seem the most vulnerable. That second part is especially frustrating— bullies target victims who are unlikely to fight back, get support from others, be believed, etc. this is how bullying works.

And yet you’ve all collectively decided that if OP’s child is going through this teenage hell, it MUST be their fault. This is a child we’re talking about. 13/14 years old. What the actual hell?

I am pro-choice, pro-LGBTQ+, anti-racist, and an advocate for sexual assault survivors and there is no justification for “cancelling” a 13 year old unless they committed a crime, and even then I’d urge rehabilitation efforts. If this child was expressing wrong-headed views, that’s a reason for conversations, not total ostracism.

Seriously: what is wrong with y’all?

+1

Anonymous wrote:All OP said was that her child has been subject to in person and online bullying and it was impacting their mental health, and somehow the thread became convinced that OP’s child was a bigot or a Christian fundamentalist who had harassed other kids. Why? I truly do not understand.

I am super far left and some of these comments scare me. Especially the assumption that if someone has been bullied or harassed, there MUST be a valid reason why. Here’s a short list of reasons kids in my high school got this treatment: they smelled bad (housing insecure or very poor, or lived/worked on a farm and smelled like it), unattractive or very unfashionably dressed, highly sensitive (prone to crying or emotional outbursts), being Muslim in an overwhelmingly Christian town, simply being weird or awkward. It’s insane to me, after seeing this in my own teenage experience, that you would assume the bullied/harassed kid DESERVED what happened to them. Teenagers Target and can be especially vicious to the kids who (1) seem the most different, and (2) seem the most vulnerable. That second part is especially frustrating— bullies target victims who are unlikely to fight back, get support from others, be believed, etc. this is how bullying works.

And yet you’ve all collectively decided that if OP’s child is going through this teenage hell, it MUST be their fault. This is a child we’re talking about. 13/14 years old. What the actual hell?

I am pro-choice, pro-LGBTQ+, anti-racist, and an advocate for sexual assault survivors and there is no justification for “cancelling” a 13 year old unless they committed a crime, and even then I’d urge rehabilitation efforts. If this child was expressing wrong-headed views, that’s a reason for conversations, not total ostracism.

Seriously: what is wrong with y’all?

Anonymous wrote:I'm reaching out for advice on behalf of my teen who recently lost all their friends from elementary to middle school due to rumors and other things that resulted in them being canceled. It's been a tough time for them, and it seems like they want to start over, but the kids in their school are vicious on social media, and it seems like the rumors just won't go away.

I'm at a loss on what to do. Moving to a new school or even a new area seems like the only option, but I'm not sure if that's the right decision. I don't remember the suburb areas being this vicious when I was growing up but social medial wasn't around so things died out over time and I'm wondering if it's because of all the cancel culture stuff going on.

Has anyone else experienced this with their children or themselves? How did you handle it, and what advice would you give? Should we consider moving, or is there another solution we haven't considered yet?

I would appreciate any insight or advice you can offer. Thank you in advance for your help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how everyone just piles on with assumptions that op’s teen dd deserved to be canceled, as if that’s a totally fine and normal thing to be happening. You people are no better than the scolds who slut-shamed girls in the past or blacklisted people from jobs because they were communists. “This is different” you say. No it’s not.

Op, I’m sorry your child is dealing with this and I would consider a fresh start at a new school for her next year. If your local public school can’t accommodate a transfer, consider private. The diocesan catholic ones are less expensive than independents, if that is something you are open to considering.

Yeah no slut-shaming going on at Diocesan Catholic schools. None at all.