Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 15:09     Subject: Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I love public school.

Female students can't wear tank tops because it makes the boys too hot and bothered but they can parade around in swimsuits in front of their male peers.

What a fking joke.

I would simply tell the PE teacher to flunk her for that unit and tell them she's sitting out. Screw that nonsense.


OP again. PE is single gender at her school. But, yes, they can’t wear tank tops or short shorts.


You and your daughter are ridiculous. She can swim at the public pool, but, she can’t swim in an all girl swim class at school?


Maybe it has more to do with changing out of the wet suit back into dry clothes? That would be embarrassing for a 14 year old in a locker room full of girls. Full on naked.


At my kids school they take turns using the bathroom stalls or changing rooms.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 15:07     Subject: Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:What school district does this in middle school? APS does it in 4th and 5th grade.


APS also does this in high school - 9th and 10th grade. I would never get a dr. note to get my kids excused from it. I agree with the other posters that this sends a terrible message not only about body insecurities but about not pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.

For someone who said you don't have to get your hair wet - in APS high school they have everyone do a swim test to start and swim laps for the first few days with specific strokes - so your hair will get wet. I've had 3 kids go through it - one with bad acne - and none asked to get excused even my daughter who had it 1st period of the day and then would spend the rest of the day with wet hair.

OP to me it sounds like this is a vanity issue with your daughter.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 14:45     Subject: Re:Swim Excuse Note

Also, I would try to get her some help for the acne. There are lots of products available and whatever you decide here, it will help her feel better about herself.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 14:41     Subject: Re:Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Im surprised by these answers! OP I would have done what you did. It’s not like she’s asking for excuses to get out of things all the time and not is swimming in front of a group of your colleagues and classmates a necessary life skill.


No, but grit and resilience sure are.


What do grit and resilience do with not getting into a pool? At my Child's school if kids wanted to opt out of the swim unit they would run laps or do cardio which takes plenty of grit and resilience. This is ridiculous and I'm doubting whether you should be a parent yourself if you are.


You've missed the point. It's not which exercise they're doing. It's the fact that op's daughter feels uncomfortable. And instead of figuring out ways to help her survive this weeks long unit with tools to help her (rash guard, swim cap), instead op's mom is letting her not do the required unit and getting a DOCTOR to lie about it (yes I know that the doc didn't write something specific, but it's still a doctors note, so it implies a medical issue). Maybe those of us who had to do uncomfortable things and move on learned from it, maybe we are stronger for it. Parents these days are taking all obstacles from their children in a misguided attempt to keep them happy and mentally healthy. If the op's kid were getting bullied over a swimsuit it would be one thing. But her reasons are not enough to pull her, imo.

When this kid can't handle college and real life with any sort of resilience, this is the type of thing that op will forget had anything to do with it. Isn't there a post here about a 30 year old man who is MAD at his parents for giving him too much and now his credit score isn't great? So people are suggesting to help him even more. Let's get serious here...we are creating a generation of entitled kids if we do things like this.




EXACTLY!!


Ageee. If your child can’t learn how to handle being uncomfortable and dealing with small moments out of your comfort zone they are really going to struggle with bigger stuff. So she is uncomfortable and insecure, she can learn to rise above and get through it. This isn’t a huge hurdle to overcome.


this.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 14:00     Subject: Re:Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is why we're screwed as a society. People can't handle requirements and want to scream and shout about any and every thing their children say they don't want to do. There's too much self-centeredness in American culture. No willingness to sacrifice comfort for the greater good or to merely overcome something you find challenging, annoying or intimidating.

This is why kids are growing up entitled and spoiled and transitioning into dysfunctional adults. Sad.


Give me a break, we’re talking about 8th grade PE. If your workplace held a mandatory team building activity at an indoor pool, you think all the adults raised in the olden days would show up happily in their suits?

I'll give you examples of grown-up versions of middle school swimming:
- Presenting at team brown-bags (can bring up feeling of anxiety in people averse to public speaking)
- Annual performance reviews (can bring up anxiety and is often a pointless, but required exercise)
- Traveling to a tangentially-relevant conference just to be an attendee (wastes time, can be difficult for anxious travelers)
- Showing up for work and being pleasant and productive when you've been sleep deprived for months with a newborn

All of these things represent one of things that many would choose to opt out of if given the chance. Sure, participating in 8th grade PE isn't that important in the grand scheme of things, but none of the many "required" yet oddly pointless things we do are, in isolation. Having the ability to deal with unpleasantness, our own anxieties, and just realizing that the world doesn't bend to our personal comfort level are important life lessons and one that results in well-adjusted, resilient, productive adults.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 12:55     Subject: Re:Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Im surprised by these answers! OP I would have done what you did. It’s not like she’s asking for excuses to get out of things all the time and not is swimming in front of a group of your colleagues and classmates a necessary life skill.


No, but grit and resilience sure are.


What do grit and resilience do with not getting into a pool? At my Child's school if kids wanted to opt out of the swim unit they would run laps or do cardio which takes plenty of grit and resilience. This is ridiculous and I'm doubting whether you should be a parent yourself if you are.


You've missed the point. It's not which exercise they're doing. It's the fact that op's daughter feels uncomfortable. And instead of figuring out ways to help her survive this weeks long unit with tools to help her (rash guard, swim cap), instead op's mom is letting her not do the required unit and getting a DOCTOR to lie about it (yes I know that the doc didn't write something specific, but it's still a doctors note, so it implies a medical issue). Maybe those of us who had to do uncomfortable things and move on learned from it, maybe we are stronger for it. Parents these days are taking all obstacles from their children in a misguided attempt to keep them happy and mentally healthy. If the op's kid were getting bullied over a swimsuit it would be one thing. But her reasons are not enough to pull her, imo.

When this kid can't handle college and real life with any sort of resilience, this is the type of thing that op will forget had anything to do with it. Isn't there a post here about a 30 year old man who is MAD at his parents for giving him too much and now his credit score isn't great? So people are suggesting to help him even more. Let's get serious here...we are creating a generation of entitled kids if we do things like this.




EXACTLY!!


Ageee. If your child can’t learn how to handle being uncomfortable and dealing with small moments out of your comfort zone they are really going to struggle with bigger stuff. So she is uncomfortable and insecure, she can learn to rise above and get through it. This isn’t a huge hurdle to overcome.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 12:42     Subject: Re:Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is why we're screwed as a society. People can't handle requirements and want to scream and shout about any and every thing their children say they don't want to do. There's too much self-centeredness in American culture. No willingness to sacrifice comfort for the greater good or to merely overcome something you find challenging, annoying or intimidating.

This is why kids are growing up entitled and spoiled and transitioning into dysfunctional adults. Sad.


Give me a break, we’re talking about 8th grade PE. If your workplace held a mandatory team building activity at an indoor pool, you think all the adults raised in the olden days would show up happily in their suits?


You might think it’s “just” 8th grade, but this is what’s important in her life right now. Therefore, teaching her how to overcome very normal insecurities about it is what will help her have the tools to overcome insecurities later on in life.


My daughter doesn’t use tampons. Hates the way they feel and just doesn’t swim when she has her period. Do you think she should be forced to participate in swimming if she has her period?


Welcome to modern times…

https://www.knixteen.com/collections/period-proof-swim?gclid=CjwKCAiA0JKfBhBIEiwAPhZXD0q-XP2HsX_iE8Zz4LZx93huipNbVTb_i8s7SpvjiZFuDjiQOKELLRoCHf8QAvD_BwE&loc=Shopnav%3DPeriodSwim-Oct2521&utm_campaign=us_s_nonbrand_swim_periodteen&utm_medium=sem&utm_source=google
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 11:02     Subject: Re:Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is why we're screwed as a society. People can't handle requirements and want to scream and shout about any and every thing their children say they don't want to do. There's too much self-centeredness in American culture. No willingness to sacrifice comfort for the greater good or to merely overcome something you find challenging, annoying or intimidating.

This is why kids are growing up entitled and spoiled and transitioning into dysfunctional adults. Sad.


Give me a break, we’re talking about 8th grade PE. If your workplace held a mandatory team building activity at an indoor pool, you think all the adults raised in the olden days would show up happily in their suits?


You might think it’s “just” 8th grade, but this is what’s important in her life right now. Therefore, teaching her how to overcome very normal insecurities about it is what will help her have the tools to overcome insecurities later on in life.


My daughter doesn’t use tampons. Hates the way they feel and just doesn’t swim when she has her period. Do you think she should be forced to participate in swimming if she has her period?


I didn’t say that. But that’s not OP’s kid’s situation.

You all love twisting what I wrote.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 11:01     Subject: Re:Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is why we're screwed as a society. People can't handle requirements and want to scream and shout about any and every thing their children say they don't want to do. There's too much self-centeredness in American culture. No willingness to sacrifice comfort for the greater good or to merely overcome something you find challenging, annoying or intimidating.

This is why kids are growing up entitled and spoiled and transitioning into dysfunctional adults. Sad.


Give me a break, we’re talking about 8th grade PE. If your workplace held a mandatory team building activity at an indoor pool, you think all the adults raised in the olden days would show up happily in their suits?


You might think it’s “just” 8th grade, but this is what’s important in her life right now. Therefore, teaching her how to overcome very normal insecurities about it is what will help her have the tools to overcome insecurities later on in life.


Yes, THIS is the one and only way a kid can learn these tools.


Did I say that?
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 11:01     Subject: Re:Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is why we're screwed as a society. People can't handle requirements and want to scream and shout about any and every thing their children say they don't want to do. There's too much self-centeredness in American culture. No willingness to sacrifice comfort for the greater good or to merely overcome something you find challenging, annoying or intimidating.

This is why kids are growing up entitled and spoiled and transitioning into dysfunctional adults. Sad.


Give me a break, we’re talking about 8th grade PE. If your workplace held a mandatory team building activity at an indoor pool, you think all the adults raised in the olden days would show up happily in their suits?


You might think it’s “just” 8th grade, but this is what’s important in her life right now. Therefore, teaching her how to overcome very normal insecurities about it is what will help her have the tools to overcome insecurities later on in life.


My daughter doesn’t use tampons. Hates the way they feel and just doesn’t swim when she has her period. Do you think she should be forced to participate in swimming if she has her period?
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 10:57     Subject: Re:Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is why we're screwed as a society. People can't handle requirements and want to scream and shout about any and every thing their children say they don't want to do. There's too much self-centeredness in American culture. No willingness to sacrifice comfort for the greater good or to merely overcome something you find challenging, annoying or intimidating.

This is why kids are growing up entitled and spoiled and transitioning into dysfunctional adults. Sad.


Give me a break, we’re talking about 8th grade PE. If your workplace held a mandatory team building activity at an indoor pool, you think all the adults raised in the olden days would show up happily in their suits?


You might think it’s “just” 8th grade, but this is what’s important in her life right now. Therefore, teaching her how to overcome very normal insecurities about it is what will help her have the tools to overcome insecurities later on in life.


Yes, THIS is the one and only way a kid can learn these tools.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 10:54     Subject: Re:Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is why we're screwed as a society. People can't handle requirements and want to scream and shout about any and every thing their children say they don't want to do. There's too much self-centeredness in American culture. No willingness to sacrifice comfort for the greater good or to merely overcome something you find challenging, annoying or intimidating.

This is why kids are growing up entitled and spoiled and transitioning into dysfunctional adults. Sad.


Give me a break, we’re talking about 8th grade PE. If your workplace held a mandatory team building activity at an indoor pool, you think all the adults raised in the olden days would show up happily in their suits?


You might think it’s “just” 8th grade, but this is what’s important in her life right now. Therefore, teaching her how to overcome very normal insecurities about it is what will help her have the tools to overcome insecurities later on in life.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 10:42     Subject: Re:Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:This is why we're screwed as a society. People can't handle requirements and want to scream and shout about any and every thing their children say they don't want to do. There's too much self-centeredness in American culture. No willingness to sacrifice comfort for the greater good or to merely overcome something you find challenging, annoying or intimidating.

This is why kids are growing up entitled and spoiled and transitioning into dysfunctional adults. Sad.


Give me a break, we’re talking about 8th grade PE. If your workplace held a mandatory team building activity at an indoor pool, you think all the adults raised in the olden days would show up happily in their suits?
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 10:37     Subject: Swim Excuse Note

If this is required for EVERYONE. She won’t be the only person uncomfortable with it. I used to teach at a public high school that had a swim unit in P.E. and the only time anyone was excused from it was if they were on their period, (or other REAL medical issue) and even that meant they would be excused for one week.

They make waterproof swim caps, and even make swim caps specifically for long hair. She can wear a rash guard and board shorts. Heck, they even make swim leggings if she wants to cover up even more.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 10:33     Subject: Re:Swim Excuse Note

Anonymous wrote:This is why we're screwed as a society. People can't handle requirements and want to scream and shout about any and every thing their children say they don't want to do. There's too much self-centeredness in American culture. No willingness to sacrifice comfort for the greater good or to merely overcome something you find challenging, annoying or intimidating.

This is why kids are growing up entitled and spoiled and transitioning into dysfunctional adults. Sad.


What is the greater good here for a bunch of girls who already know how to swim, who otherwise have access to pools and camps and swim teams?