Yeah, if that evil man had touched our son, we’d be suing the school for more than enough to put him through college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nah, I hear it’s a great school, I wouldn’t pull my kids out. This could happen anywhere. I know some of the teachers there and the head of the school and middle school, their own kids go there. I’m sure they had no idea, the abuse happened outside of school.

The ‘could happen anywhere’ is a grand myth, and has been explained in detail upthread. Any school harboring a rapist is not a great school to most parents.

Except it does happen everywhere, unfortunately.

+1000. People want to pretend that Gilman was uniquely neglectful and there was some grand coverup. That’s because it’s too scary for them to admit that it can happen anywhere, and that the fact that your kids are at a different school won’t protect them. It’s a terrifying thought, so people must find a way for the school to have been at fault.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There were two other cases of abuse at the school. One from 1950 and one from 1990. it’s a really wonderful school but this story is just so awful. We as a community are devastated. [/quote]

This. And not just a wonderful school but a small one, so everyone knows everyone. So my heart goes out to the person who was able to step forward, and help this story come to an end. And I am so sad to think that someone my son probably knew, had to experience this. I hope he gets to keep his anonymity, until or unless he doesn't want to. Not sure how that works but kid, whoever you are, I admire you and I wish you the best. Mom hugs to you.[/quote]

These comments are why this is so disturbing.. as part of the community , if I get one more communication or talk to someone that is "saddened" or "devastated" it is making me loose my mind.. how about ENRAGED .. ANGER... UNACCEPTABLE this is a complete establishment failure , we have been at the school only a few years and this is the THIRD news worthy incident.. institutional changes need to be made. [/quote]

Another Gilman parent and I agree. While the abuse was not known, it wasn’t a secret to the administration that Mr, Bendan was engaged in activities such as babysitting and driving kids around that are violations of school policies adopted after the last investigation.[/quote]
Oh, really? He was consistently allowed to violate established school policy? Well then, the school can AND SHOULD be held responsible for the sex abuse raping of the boys by their teacher. This is really bad… except for the abused boys. They’ll be glad to know their abuser will be locked away for a long time. Cops need more boys to contact them to make jail time as long as possible for the perpetrator.

Absolutely nothing will change to protect its students from teacher predators until Gilman admin comes to terms with its egregious negligence. No normal person believes for a single second that no adult there ever heard anything suspicious about this teacher. 15 years of employment is a mighty long time to hear zero rumors about your students being forced to run around naked in a community park on the weekends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nah, I hear it’s a great school, I wouldn’t pull my kids out. This could happen anywhere. I know some of the teachers there and the head of the school and middle school, their own kids go there. I’m sure they had no idea, the abuse happened outside of school.

The ‘could happen anywhere’ is a grand myth, and has been explained in detail upthread. Any school harboring a rapist is not a great school to most parents.

Except it does happen everywhere, unfortunately.

Anonymous wrote:For sure if the school administration knew there was a rapist among them, that would be an issue.

Seems so unlikely the administration knew this guy was sexually abusing kids and didn’t fire him. What would be the point of that? the school has ravens players, CEO’s, lots of rich folks on the board and at the school. I doubt there is some sort of harboring of rapists happening. This guy slipped through the cracks because he was an alumni with no criminal history. it’s sad and horrifying, and you may not want it to happen at your school but it can! not all pedophiles have a long criminal history. we need to start teaching our kids what’s appropriate and what’s not and to not be afraid to tel their parents or trusted advisors if something seems off.

For sure if the school administration knew there was a rapist among them, that would be an issue.

Anonymous wrote:Nah, I hear it’s a great school, I wouldn’t pull my kids out. This could happen anywhere. I know some of the teachers there and the head of the school and middle school, their own kids go there. I’m sure they had no idea, the abuse happened outside of school.

The ‘could happen anywhere’ is a grand myth, and has been explained in detail upthread. Any school harboring a rapist is not a great school to most parents.

Nah, I hear it’s a great school, I wouldn’t pull my kids out. This could happen anywhere. I know some of the teachers there and the head of the school and middle school, their own kids go there. I’m sure they had no idea, the abuse happened outside of school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To whom it may concern:
Please shut-up with the “it can happen anywhere” garbage. What has been happening at Gilman, happens only where school administration chooses to allow rumors of abuse/rape to go unreported to the police department. Schools have a LEGAL obligation to report POSSIBLE abuse of students. It’s NOT the school’s job to determine if a rumor has merit or not.

Gilman does not have trained investigators on its payroll. Gilman should have reported to police the FIRST rumor of their students getting alcohol from a teacher. They broke the law right there. Of course no one will be held accountable for their silence.

Who cares that the perpetrator was a former student, or that his father is well liked in the community? Apparently, administrators cared a lot about protecting the ongoing sexual abuse of its students. Someone (besides the rapist teacher) MUST be held accountable for this atrocity perpetrated on these young boys. Victims of sexual abuse typically need years and years of very high quality therapy. The police are begging other victims to please come forward. We all know, however, that most victims choose not to speak of their abuse. It’s just to painful and not worth the ordeal of going public with this sort of thing. May God give them strength. My heart breaks for what they endured.

There were not previous rumors of abuse/rape.

That you know of - the point is the school may have known or suspected inappropriate conduct at the very least with the drinking and close relationships. Enough to put a stop to it.

I would know as I have a child in the upper school, and like many in the community, know far more than has been reported. What your suggesting is not how it became known.

How did it become known then? I assumed it was because of the investigation going on. Is that not the case?

This exactly. The school wanted the ability to say that they have “become aware” that a “former” teacher has been arrested for raping male students. Seems like they had legal counsel for a while. Am not seeing that they’re wanting to clean up their ways at all. I’d be removing my son from that school immediately. Who knows what else may still be going on there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To whom it may concern:
Please shut-up with the “it can happen anywhere” garbage. What has been happening at Gilman, happens only where school administration chooses to allow rumors of abuse/rape to go unreported to the police department. Schools have a LEGAL obligation to report POSSIBLE abuse of students. It’s NOT the school’s job to determine if a rumor has merit or not.

Gilman does not have trained investigators on its payroll. Gilman should have reported to police the FIRST rumor of their students getting alcohol from a teacher. They broke the law right there. Of course no one will be held accountable for their silence.

Who cares that the perpetrator was a former student, or that his father is well liked in the community? Apparently, administrators cared a lot about protecting the ongoing sexual abuse of its students. Someone (besides the rapist teacher) MUST be held accountable for this atrocity perpetrated on these young boys. Victims of sexual abuse typically need years and years of very high quality therapy. The police are begging other victims to please come forward. We all know, however, that most victims choose not to speak of their abuse. It’s just to painful and not worth the ordeal of going public with this sort of thing. May God give them strength. My heart breaks for what they endured.

There were not previous rumors of abuse/rape.

That you know of - the point is the school may have known or suspected inappropriate conduct at the very least with the drinking and close relationships. Enough to put a stop to it.

I would know as I have a child in the upper school, and like many in the community, know far more than has been reported. What your suggesting is not how it became known.

How did it become known then? I assumed it was because of the investigation going on. Is that not the case?

This case does make me think new rules should be in place at all schools, but I'm not sure where to draw the line. When I was in school, it was common for the music teachers to give private lessons to the students after school for pay. I had a great music teacher.

Also common for extracurricular team coaches to give rides to and from events, like debate meets, etc. Is this no longer okay?

I told my DD that if a teacher offers a general fun event, such as taking the entire French club out for escargot, that is ok. If the teacher ever tries to single them or a small group of kids out for special attention, that is not appropriate.

It makes me kind of sad that evil people have ruined everything. I remember back my day that some students were troubled and some teachers did pay special attention to them to raise them up, and these kind of gestures can make a big difference in a kid's life. But I also now get why boundaries are important.

I feel so badly for all the boys who were sexually abused by this teacher who was employed for 15 years by the school. No 38 year old pervert suddenly starts to have sex with young school boys. It’s a pattern that starts in their 20’s, if not sooner. So tragic.
Curious if the detectives discovered that he was posting the boys’ nude photographs on pedophile websites.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’ll be interesting to see how long the father of the rapist teacher is allowed to sit on the school’s board. Some harsh changes must be immediately implemented, and his presence is a hindrance.

Why should the father take responsibility for the heinous actions of his adult 38 year old son?

I don’t think he is on the board.

Of course you don’t think the father of a rapist is on the school board. Lol. Are you trying to say he just got fired?

I am saying there is a list of board members on the school’s website and he is not listed as a board member. He may have been in the past. All board members cycle off after 4 years.

I’ll say you sure sound like a seasoned lawyer, for the school. Not expecting you to admit to anything.

I guess that’s your way of admitting you were mistaken.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’ll be interesting to see how long the father of the rapist teacher is allowed to sit on the school’s board. Some harsh changes must be immediately implemented, and his presence is a hindrance.

Why should the father take responsibility for the heinous actions of his adult 38 year old son?

I don’t think he is on the board.

Of course you don’t think the father of a rapist is on the school board. Lol. Are you trying to say he just got fired?

I am saying there is a list of board members on the school’s website and he is not listed as a board member. He may have been in the past. All board members cycle off after 4 years.

I’ll say you sure sound like a seasoned lawyer, for the school. Not expecting you to admit to anything.