Anonymous
01/27/2023 20:40
Subject: Re:Custody Schedule - School year vs. Summer
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have this situation; OP. I have 80% custody during the school year and we do 50/50 for 8 weeks in summer. He’s an active alcoholic. The kids will be driving soon and will likely be spending little time there, which is sad, but the result of his decisions.
How does driving soon impact custody? That makes no sense.
Learning how to drive absolutely impacts how much time a kid spends with their parents, especially if a kid used to be driven a lot of places.
No, it does not.
Anonymous
01/27/2023 20:40
Subject: Custody Schedule - School year vs. Summer
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow! You take the cake. You will consider “more visitation.” The judge is going to hand you your A S S on a plate, thank god.
Who are you babbling to? OP's lazy broke ex doesn't see his kid now because he can't be bothered. But now he thinks he can cash in on his wife by getting 50-50 custody with some child support because he is a man-child without a real job.
So he plans to get 50-50 and stick OP with all the childcare.
Typical divorced man.
Sounds like the ex only has limited time and takes it, asks for more and op says no and then complains. She will never allow more.
No. That is not what OP said at all. Her ex doesn't use the time he has.
OP has said he uses all his time. She is restricting his requests for more time. He doesn't care for the child exactly as she would so she's restricting visits. You are thinking of other posters.
OP here. I think you’re confused. I said he hasn’t used all his time, and I’m the one who offers extra time.
Are you offering it when he’s available or when he’s working or has other obligations that make it impossible to set him up to fail?
Anonymous
01/27/2023 09:00
Subject: Custody Schedule - School year vs. Summer
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow! You take the cake. You will consider “more visitation.” The judge is going to hand you your A S S on a plate, thank god.
Who are you babbling to? OP's lazy broke ex doesn't see his kid now because he can't be bothered. But now he thinks he can cash in on his wife by getting 50-50 custody with some child support because he is a man-child without a real job.
So he plans to get 50-50 and stick OP with all the childcare.
Typical divorced man.
Sounds like the ex only has limited time and takes it, asks for more and op says no and then complains. She will never allow more.
No. That is not what OP said at all. Her ex doesn't use the time he has.
OP has said he uses all his time. She is restricting his requests for more time. He doesn't care for the child exactly as she would so she's restricting visits. You are thinking of other posters.
No, you can’t read. She said none of this. You have an agenda an are trying to misrepresent the facts.
Anonymous
01/27/2023 08:31
Subject: Re:Custody Schedule - School year vs. Summer
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have this situation; OP. I have 80% custody during the school year and we do 50/50 for 8 weeks in summer. He’s an active alcoholic. The kids will be driving soon and will likely be spending little time there, which is sad, but the result of his decisions.
How does driving soon impact custody? That makes no sense.
Learning how to drive absolutely impacts how much time a kid spends with their parents, especially if a kid used to be driven a lot of places.
Anonymous
01/27/2023 08:26
Subject: Custody Schedule - School year vs. Summer
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow! You take the cake. You will consider “more visitation.” The judge is going to hand you your A S S on a plate, thank god.
Who are you babbling to? OP's lazy broke ex doesn't see his kid now because he can't be bothered. But now he thinks he can cash in on his wife by getting 50-50 custody with some child support because he is a man-child without a real job.
So he plans to get 50-50 and stick OP with all the childcare.
Typical divorced man.
Sounds like the ex only has limited time and takes it, asks for more and op says no and then complains. She will never allow more.
No. That is not what OP said at all. Her ex doesn't use the time he has.
OP has said he uses all his time. She is restricting his requests for more time. He doesn't care for the child exactly as she would so she's restricting visits. You are thinking of other posters.
OP here. I think you’re confused. I said he hasn’t used all his time, and I’m the one who offers extra time.
Anonymous
01/26/2023 14:46
Subject: Custody Schedule - School year vs. Summer
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow! You take the cake. You will consider “more visitation.” The judge is going to hand you your A S S on a plate, thank god.
Who are you babbling to? OP's lazy broke ex doesn't see his kid now because he can't be bothered. But now he thinks he can cash in on his wife by getting 50-50 custody with some child support because he is a man-child without a real job.
So he plans to get 50-50 and stick OP with all the childcare.
Typical divorced man.
Sounds like the ex only has limited time and takes it, asks for more and op says no and then complains. She will never allow more.
No. That is not what OP said at all. Her ex doesn't use the time he has.
OP has said he uses all his time. She is restricting his requests for more time. He doesn't care for the child exactly as she would so she's restricting visits. You are thinking of other posters.
Anonymous
01/26/2023 14:39
Subject: Re:Custody Schedule - School year vs. Summer
Anonymous wrote:I have this situation; OP. I have 80% custody during the school year and we do 50/50 for 8 weeks in summer. He’s an active alcoholic. The kids will be driving soon and will likely be spending little time there, which is sad, but the result of his decisions.
How does driving soon impact custody? That makes no sense.
Anonymous
01/26/2023 08:30
Subject: Re:Custody Schedule - School year vs. Summer
Anonymous wrote:I have this situation; OP. I have 80% custody during the school year and we do 50/50 for 8 weeks in summer. He’s an active alcoholic. The kids will be driving soon and will likely be spending little time there, which is sad, but the result of his decisions.
Thank you for sharing - that sounds really hard. Has the 50/50 time in the summer affected the kids in any way? I’ve been thinking about how another poster who is a special education teacher noted that it’s important to have the consistency in the summer as well, or else the start of the school year is tough.
Anonymous
01/26/2023 07:33
Subject: Custody Schedule - School year vs. Summer
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow! You take the cake. You will consider “more visitation.” The judge is going to hand you your A S S on a plate, thank god.
Who are you babbling to? OP's lazy broke ex doesn't see his kid now because he can't be bothered. But now he thinks he can cash in on his wife by getting 50-50 custody with some child support because he is a man-child without a real job.
So he plans to get 50-50 and stick OP with all the childcare.
Typical divorced man.
Sounds like the ex only has limited time and takes it, asks for more and op says no and then complains. She will never allow more.
No. That is not what OP said at all. Her ex doesn't use the time he has.
Anonymous
01/25/2023 23:48
Subject: Re:Custody Schedule - School year vs. Summer
I have this situation; OP. I have 80% custody during the school year and we do 50/50 for 8 weeks in summer. He’s an active alcoholic. The kids will be driving soon and will likely be spending little time there, which is sad, but the result of his decisions.
Anonymous
01/25/2023 22:34
Subject: Custody Schedule - School year vs. Summer
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow! You take the cake. You will consider “more visitation.” The judge is going to hand you your A S S on a plate, thank god.
Who are you babbling to? OP's lazy broke ex doesn't see his kid now because he can't be bothered. But now he thinks he can cash in on his wife by getting 50-50 custody with some child support because he is a man-child without a real job.
So he plans to get 50-50 and stick OP with all the childcare.
Typical divorced man.
Sounds like the ex only has limited time and takes it, asks for more and op says no and then complains. She will never allow more.
Anonymous
01/25/2023 17:17
Subject: Custody Schedule - School year vs. Summer
Anonymous wrote:Wow! You take the cake. You will consider “more visitation.” The judge is going to hand you your A S S on a plate, thank god.
Who are you babbling to? OP's lazy broke ex doesn't see his kid now because he can't be bothered. But now he thinks he can cash in on his wife by getting 50-50 custody with some child support because he is a man-child without a real job.
So he plans to get 50-50 and stick OP with all the childcare.
Typical divorced man.
Anonymous
01/25/2023 06:16
Subject: Custody Schedule - School year vs. Summer
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you take the less time and give the other parent the more time. Child can live with the ex if you think that is important. Problem solved. Seeing your kid every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer is not parenting. How would you feel if your ex insisted child only live with them and you get every other weekend and maybe a phone call or visit in between? How do you think the child may feel having their parent taken away?
The child has an increase in behavior issues at school when with the other parent and the living situation with the other parent isn't the best. The other parent's work schedule also makes it difficult for them to care for the child during the school week. I don't mind us having flexibility with seeing the child in between weekends (I wrote that in the post).
To what extent are you expecting a commensurate increase in child support payments in this arrangement?
I wouldn't expect or want any child support.
This changed quickly.
Anonymous
01/25/2023 06:15
Subject: Custody Schedule - School year vs. Summer
Wow! You take the cake. You will consider “more visitation.” The judge is going to hand you your A S S on a plate, thank god.
Anonymous
01/25/2023 06:02
Subject: Re:Custody Schedule - School year vs. Summer
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, since it's not a money issue, I'd just roll with the 50-50 I'd that's what the judge orders despite it obviously being too much for him being a full time parent.
Your DH will almost certainly lose interest in having this much parenting time once he has it.
Few fathers actually want to do the work of 50-50
OP here. I believe it may be a money issue for my ex based on recent negotiations. It seems as if my ex is banking on getting money from me somehow.
If you are the higher earner, you should be paying child support. If he's the higher earner, he should be paying child support.
Most fathers want 50-50 and to be parents. It's sad someone would say this to justify taking away the kids from their father.
The real issue is OP is the higher earner and doesn't want to pay child support.
If the other parent wanted to be a parent, they should’ve been doing that this entire time. They are the one who didn’t want to.
They have been taking allowed time. OP is controlling the time and not allowing Dad 50-50 so how can they do it if aren't allowed?
OP. The other parent has actually always taken their time as stated in the temporary order. Also, that was my comment you replied to. The temporary order is as it is now because it is what the other parent requested.
I'm not a lawyer. But, I think that you can ask the judge to keep things as is-that the temp order is what he requested and you're both following it. Status quo.
Maybe the dad would be open to negotiation regarding child support? Like, keep the timesharing as-is and he pays less than the formula?