I'm not really a fan of serving alcohol at mandatory business functions. I've had two family members die of alcoholism.

I'd attend but I would not be crazy about it.

Those that are in recovery can struggle at these functions.

Anonymous wrote:If it’s mandatory, you need to make it mandatory.

One of you is playing a silly game about “fun” and “worthwhile” and “knowing you should show up” for time that is paid work time you see as essential for team building.

The other is just responding to the directives as given.

Do everyone a favor and stop playing games. If the boss determines that an in person lunch is important for team building and needs to be on Friday? That’s fine! Communicate that clearly. It’s a mandatory activity and a mandatory in office day. Don’t do any dumb little dances about it.

Spot on! I bet there are tons of other examples of passive aggressiveness in an environment like this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yuk germ events, nooooo thank youuuuu. If it’s not mandory and parties shouldn’t be, stop giving a crap. I’m a millennial and a leadership role as well. I thought you’d say they screwed something up not just not show up to a party.

Scheduling an event on a day when you know everyone WFH is a power trip, wether done consciously or not.

Yes at least you pretend to care about people's schedules and send out a doodle Pole before scheduling the party

Anonymous wrote:Yuk germ events, nooooo thank youuuuu. If it’s not mandory and parties shouldn’t be, stop giving a crap. I’m a millennial and a leadership role as well. I thought you’d say they screwed something up not just not show up to a party.

Scheduling an event on a day when you know everyone WFH is a power trip, wether done consciously or not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Really surprised to see a lot of these responses but maybe I just work for a different type of company. Before COVID we were never allowed to work from home and had to be in the office 5 days per week no exception. Not sure where everyone on DCUM works but among my group of friends nearly everyone is back in 3-4 days per week so being asked to come in for meetings or events is not unusual at all. The party was planned for a Friday because it’s generally the only day people don’t have meetings and can take a block of time to have lunch somewhere other than their desk. While my boss did not make either event mandatory, her email said verbatim “I would really like everyone to make every effort to attend these two events.” Seems pretty clear to me, and I am surprised that when other people’s bosses make requests like this they don’t do what is being asked, even if they would prefer not to attend a silly holiday get together. The culture of my company is very much celebrating in person together, always has been and always will be. And yes, in exchange for coming in on the Friday/Monday, they could work from home any other days that week, they were not losing the days.

The junior employees are ages 23-26, so definitely not millennials. None of them have children or caregiver obligations. I am a 39 year old millennial with 2 young kids and a husband currently traveling for work so I know all about childcare and scheduling challenges, but with 2 months notice I still found a way to make it work. As did every single person on the team with kids. Lastly, our core office hours are 9-5:30 so the party was not after hours, and the days we work in the office we need to be there until 5:30 so that part should not have been an issue.

You are assuming our bosses are big babies like your boss. Good bosses don't make requests like this. Good bosses say what they mean.

If it's important to you to have an event where everyone attends, we have already given several suggestions to ensure that can happen.

NP. Sorry, disagree. “Please make every effort to come” is pretty clear as to the big boss’s expectations. I mean, do you literally need to have things labeled “mandatory”?

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Really surprised to see a lot of these responses but maybe I just work for a different type of company. Before COVID we were never allowed to work from home and had to be in the office 5 days per week no exception. Not sure where everyone on DCUM works but among my group of friends nearly everyone is back in 3-4 days per week so being asked to come in for meetings or events is not unusual at all. The party was planned for a Friday because it’s generally the only day people don’t have meetings and can take a block of time to have lunch somewhere other than their desk. While my boss did not make either event mandatory, her email said verbatim “I would really like everyone to make every effort to attend these two events.” Seems pretty clear to me, and I am surprised that when other people’s bosses make requests like this they don’t do what is being asked, even if they would prefer not to attend a silly holiday get together. The culture of my company is very much celebrating in person together, always has been and always will be. And yes, in exchange for coming in on the Friday/Monday, they could work from home any other days that week, they were not losing the days.

The junior employees are ages 23-26, so definitely not millennials. None of them have children or caregiver obligations. I am a 39 year old millennial with 2 young kids and a husband currently traveling for work so I know all about childcare and scheduling challenges, but with 2 months notice I still found a way to make it work. As did every single person on the team with kids. Lastly, our core office hours are 9-5:30 so the party was not after hours, and the days we work in the office we need to be there until 5:30 so that part should not have been an issue.

To me this is speaks to the corporate culture and is very problematic. If the holiday lunch is so important, and is supposed to be a celebratory treat, then it should be put on the calendar early and other mtgs should not be scheduled during that time. Recurring mtgs can be cancelled or moved. This is just adding another thing to ppl's load on what's supposed to be a calmer day. It's the opposite of something "nice" for.employees, who are supposed to be the beneficiaries.

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Really surprised to see a lot of these responses but maybe I just work for a different type of company. Before COVID we were never allowed to work from home and had to be in the office 5 days per week no exception. Not sure where everyone on DCUM works but among my group of friends nearly everyone is back in 3-4 days per week so being asked to come in for meetings or events is not unusual at all. The party was planned for a Friday because it’s generally the only day people don’t have meetings and can take a block of time to have lunch somewhere other than their desk. While my boss did not make either event mandatory, her email said verbatim “I would really like everyone to make every effort to attend these two events.” Seems pretty clear to me, and I am surprised that when other people’s bosses make requests like this they don’t do what is being asked, even if they would prefer not to attend a silly holiday get together. The culture of my company is very much celebrating in person together, always has been and always will be. And yes, in exchange for coming in on the Friday/Monday, they could work from home any other days that week, they were not losing the days.

The junior employees are ages 23-26, so definitely not millennials. None of them have children or caregiver obligations. I am a 39 year old millennial with 2 young kids and a husband currently traveling for work so I know all about childcare and scheduling challenges, but with 2 months notice I still found a way to make it work. As did every single person on the team with kids. Lastly, our core office hours are 9-5:30 so the party was not after hours, and the days we work in the office we need to be there until 5:30 so that part should not have been an issue.

You are assuming our bosses are big babies like your boss. Good bosses don't make requests like this. Good bosses say what they mean.

If it's important to you to have an event where everyone attends, we have already given several suggestions to ensure that can happen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't drink alcohol in my religion, so I don't attend these events. They should be optional.

You have your own religion? How did you start it?

BTW we serve mock tails my company and my wife attended twice when pregnant. She ate food, had a Virgin pina colada or a soda. I only drink 2-3 drinks as wife with me a boss. Very little drinking going on. I have more cokes and coffee then liquor

It's called Islam. There are a lot of countries where alcohol is forbidden. I guess you don't travel outside of the US much or have Muslim friends/co-workers.

A lot?
Libya, Kuwait, Mauritania, Saudi Arabia, Somalia, Sudan and Yemen.

Not exactly destinations most people want to visit anyway. The rest of the Muslim majority countries all serve alcohol. I know tons of Muslims who drink, but consider themselves practicing Muslims. That's no different than Christians and Jews who don't adhere to every single tenet of their religion either. (Mormons and Seventh Day Adventists come to mind with alcohol and meat for the latter)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't drink alcohol in my religion, so I don't attend these events. They should be optional.

You have your own religion? How did you start it?

BTW we serve mock tails my company and my wife attended twice when pregnant. She ate food, had a Virgin pina colada or a soda. I only drink 2-3 drinks as wife with me a boss. Very little drinking going on. I have more cokes and coffee then liquor

It's called Islam. There are a lot of countries where alcohol is forbidden. I guess you don't travel outside of the US much or have Muslim friends/co-workers.

And what’s wrong with that? So freaking entitled…

Is this really how you defend your ignorance of very basic details about Islam? Mormons also don’t drink. No international travel required for you to know about them.

NP. Calm down. Most of us know this. Islam also forbids pork but my friend goes to brunch where pork is present. He also likes a slice of bacon if his mom isn't watching!

Then he's not really a practicing Muslim. Expecting everyone to play along with your social parties is entitled. The op is entitled to start this post.

I totally agree that not everyone should play along with social parties. I personally would not go. But using your religion (alcohol specifically) is a cop out. And entitled.

This is OP. Really surprised to see a lot of these responses but maybe I just work for a different type of company. Before COVID we were never allowed to work from home and had to be in the office 5 days per week no exception. Not sure where everyone on DCUM works but among my group of friends nearly everyone is back in 3-4 days per week so being asked to come in for meetings or events is not unusual at all. The party was planned for a Friday because it’s generally the only day people don’t have meetings and can take a block of time to have lunch somewhere other than their desk. While my boss did not make either event mandatory, her email said verbatim “I would really like everyone to make every effort to attend these two events.” Seems pretty clear to me, and I am surprised that when other people’s bosses make requests like this they don’t do what is being asked, even if they would prefer not to attend a silly holiday get together. The culture of my company is very much celebrating in person together, always has been and always will be. And yes, in exchange for coming in on the Friday/Monday, they could work from home any other days that week, they were not losing the days.

The junior employees are ages 23-26, so definitely not millennials. None of them have children or caregiver obligations. I am a 39 year old millennial with 2 young kids and a husband currently traveling for work so I know all about childcare and scheduling challenges, but with 2 months notice I still found a way to make it work. As did every single person on the team with kids. Lastly, our core office hours are 9-5:30 so the party was not after hours, and the days we work in the office we need to be there until 5:30 so that part should not have been an issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you having all these social events during a COVID surge right before the holidays? I would decline to participate as well.

What Covid surge?

https://www.npr.org/2022/12/11/1142099805/indoor-masking-advised-washington-california-new-york

I love how these people go silent when the actual numbers are posted.

I don’t go to events like these.

Covid. Is. Endemic. Covid is endemic. COVID IS ENDEMIC. Do you get it yet? All these numbers prove is, wait for it… Covid is E N D E M I C.

I’m not going to cancel any event for fear of possibly contracting any endemic virus. Absolutely positively absurd suggestion.

I haven't had it yet. My specialists tell me to try to avoid it. A cocktail party is not important.

Yes, covid is endemic, and yet I still haven't had it. I pick and choose when and where I expose myself. I'm not getting covid for your stupid team building exercise.

And I'm an alcoholic. I don't want to go to your cocktail party.

Let me stay home and do my job. Also, I am the person that picks up the phone for emergencies at 9 PM on a Friday night. Do not tell me I'm not a team player or that I'm a slacker.

- 50 YO

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you having all these social events during a COVID surge right before the holidays? I would decline to participate as well.

What Covid surge?

https://www.npr.org/2022/12/11/1142099805/indoor-masking-advised-washington-california-new-york

I love how these people go silent when the actual numbers are posted.

I don’t go to events like these.

Covid. Is. Endemic. Covid is endemic. COVID IS ENDEMIC. Do you get it yet? All these numbers prove is, wait for it… Covid is E N D E M I C.

I’m not going to cancel any event for fear of possibly contracting any endemic virus. Absolutely positively absurd suggestion.

How does it prove COVID is endemic? And what does COVID bring endemic have to do with safety? Malaria is endemic to Africa. That doesn’t make it wise to catch it.

Ugh. I'm 50. Some people just do not want to socialize with you and do "team building". Do they do good work or not? Instead of wasting money on caterers, give people the $50 or whatever.

Don't be upset because they will leave your company as soon as they can anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't drink alcohol in my religion, so I don't attend these events. They should be optional.

You have your own religion? How did you start it?

BTW we serve mock tails my company and my wife attended twice when pregnant. She ate food, had a Virgin pina colada or a soda. I only drink 2-3 drinks as wife with me a boss. Very little drinking going on. I have more cokes and coffee then liquor

It's called Islam. There are a lot of countries where alcohol is forbidden. I guess you don't travel outside of the US much or have Muslim friends/co-workers.

And what’s wrong with that? So freaking entitled…

Is this really how you defend your ignorance of very basic details about Islam? Mormons also don’t drink. No international travel required for you to know about them.

NP. Calm down. Most of us know this. Islam also forbids pork but my friend goes to brunch where pork is present. He also likes a slice of bacon if his mom isn't watching!

Then he's not really a practicing Muslim. Expecting everyone to play along with your social parties is entitled. The op is entitled to start this post.