These things are always uncomfortable, but the answer is NO and your DH needs to make it happen.

My inlaws conferred with my DH to drive down the morning of my induction, and I was so upset no one asked me what I wanted. I told DH, he immediately fixed it, and they came 10 day later and stayed in a hotel. Were they sad my parents got to see the baby first? Probably. But I don't care. We also told them it was a quick in and out, and they obliged. My mom did help me Week 1. But the mom of the mom gets preference here, if the new mom wants that. THAT is actually the way it's done.

Under no circumstances should you let this happen. I let my in laws visit a few days after our first was born. They didn’t stay with us but still managed to make things entirely miserable. The lemon clot essay describes my physical situation pretty well! One of many miserable moments was when my DH went to get pizza and my ILs were setting the table. I had the crying baby in the bathroom with me while I was trying to have my first postpartum poop, bleeding and freaking out that I was going to burst my stitches. My FIL kept knocking on the door, asking where we kept the red pepper flakes, pizza cutter ETc

In addition to the disrespect, I would also be upset that I'd have to hear from my mother how unfair it was that MIL got to be there and she didn't. Plus, I'd hate to start off treating grandparents so unfairly because one was plotting and scheming and violating boundaries.

Anonymous wrote:I would be a -10 on your annoyance scale. Life is too short. You're expecting a wonderful addition. Enjoy it and stop letting your pettiness get you all stirred up.

Oh totally just ENJOY YOURSELF while going along with something that will be totally miserable.