OP here - thanks all for the feedback over the last week. The update is that she went to the doctor today and has had a miraculous recovery. The doctor said she’s fine and does not have a concussion, but she’s not coming back to work with us because her husband said she’s ‘not allowed to’.
My guess is that the reason for all of the excuses over the last month is stress in her marriage. We’re going to save all of the details of this situation in case she tries to file any kind of claim against us in the future.
As a learning lesson for myself, I’m going to trust my gut and not engage or send money to anyone who’s not showing up and performing their duties. We didn’t have to pay her for last week or various days off last month. It’s an expensive lesson

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you make it easy to understand why she may be looking for a new job. I am surprised she has stayed as long as she has.

Like all of us, she’s employed at will and can leave any time. We’ve been more than accommodating with what’s now the third reason for extensive absenteeism in a three month tenure.

This. She’s been taking advantage of you. I hope you're able to put an end to this arrangement quickly.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you make it easy to understand why she may be looking for a new job. I am surprised she has stayed as long as she has.

Like all of us, she’s employed at will and can leave any time. We’ve been more than accommodating with what’s now the third reason for extensive absenteeism in a three month tenure.

OP, you make it easy to understand why she may be looking for a new job. I am surprised she has stayed as long as she has.

Anonymous wrote:On Thursday morning our FT nanny/housekeeper told us that our daughter accidentally kicked her in the head as she was getting DD dressed for school. She asked for Tylenol but worked the full day, she also worked all day on Friday. At 4am on Monday her husband sent a text to say that she was ‘at the ER again’ and would not be coming to work. Last night she sent me a text to say she had just gotten home, that she has a concussion and is dizzy so she can’t work for at least a week.
What would you do or think?

I would think she has a concussion. And wait til she is well enough to contact me for more info. I would find back up care or take time for weekdays prior to holiday and following week. I’d ask for a report for filing workmen’s compensation and make sure I understood that process. I would also ask her or the husband to keep me posted to understand healing timeline/prognosis.

Only if she were unable to produce these documents would I consider it suspicious. I’ve had people in my life with concussions and it’s not always straightforward in recovery. Wait til you have real information. Also you need a new nanny as you don’t trust this one. It remains to be seen as to who that’s most about at this moment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you thought about going to her home and seeing how she is? It would serve you two ways because if she really is sick, it shows that you are compassionate and kind. You also get to see firsthand how she is doing .

OP - no I’m not going to her home because I don’t believe she’s there. One of the several reasons I’ve been suspicious of her motives is because while she claims to have a concussion and therefore not able to work or use her phone, she has logged into care.com several times in the last week. I know this because I’ve been on there too looking for a temp. Yesterday 11/26 someone posted a favorable review for her, which of course might be a former employer from before we hired her in September…or it might be someone she’s been doing a trial with for the last ten days.

The plot thickens. I would not be able to stop myself from investigating the hell out of this. I’d contact that reviewer for sure. I don’t think I’d show up at the nanny’s house because you can’t tell from looking at someone whether they have a concussion, so I don’t think that would give you additional information.

I’m sorry this happened, OP!

Thank you. It’s definitely put a dampener on our holiday week unfortunately, but I knew from the beginning that something was off with her story. I will share an update if I hear from her again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you thought about going to her home and seeing how she is? It would serve you two ways because if she really is sick, it shows that you are compassionate and kind. You also get to see firsthand how she is doing .

OP - no I’m not going to her home because I don’t believe she’s there. One of the several reasons I’ve been suspicious of her motives is because while she claims to have a concussion and therefore not able to work or use her phone, she has logged into care.com several times in the last week. I know this because I’ve been on there too looking for a temp. Yesterday 11/26 someone posted a favorable review for her, which of course might be a former employer from before we hired her in September…or it might be someone she’s been doing a trial with for the last ten days.

The plot thickens. I would not be able to stop myself from investigating the hell out of this. I’d contact that reviewer for sure. I don’t think I’d show up at the nanny’s house because you can’t tell from looking at someone whether they have a concussion, so I don’t think that would give you additional information.

I’m sorry this happened, OP!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can’t care.com look at when the jobs were? I’ve never used them, so I don’t really understand what services they provide and what information they’d have.

I’m not sure as it’s not a service I use often. It just shows the date of the review

Can you contact the reviewer? That could provide very useful info.

Anonymous wrote:Can’t care.com look at when the jobs were? I’ve never used them, so I don’t really understand what services they provide and what information they’d have.

I’m not sure as it’s not a service I use often. It just shows the date of the review

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you thought about going to her home and seeing how she is? It would serve you two ways because if she really is sick, it shows that you are compassionate and kind. You also get to see firsthand how she is doing .

OP - no I’m not going to her home because I don’t believe she’s there. One of the several reasons I’ve been suspicious of her motives is because while she claims to have a concussion and therefore not able to work or use her phone, she has logged into care.com several times in the last week. I know this because I’ve been on there too looking for a temp. Yesterday 11/26 someone posted a favorable review for her, which of course might be a former employer from before we hired her in September…or it might be someone she’s been doing a trial with for the last ten days.

Make sure you’re keeping a record of this stuff. I think you’re probably right that she’s just doing other jobs, but you’ll want to protect yourself in case she’s a more serious scammer and tries to blackmail you.

Thanks that’s what our insurance agent said too

Can’t care.com look at when the jobs were? I’ve never used them, so I don’t really understand what services they provide and what information they’d have.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you thought about going to her home and seeing how she is? It would serve you two ways because if she really is sick, it shows that you are compassionate and kind. You also get to see firsthand how she is doing .

OP - no I’m not going to her home because I don’t believe she’s there. One of the several reasons I’ve been suspicious of her motives is because while she claims to have a concussion and therefore not able to work or use her phone, she has logged into care.com several times in the last week. I know this because I’ve been on there too looking for a temp. Yesterday 11/26 someone posted a favorable review for her, which of course might be a former employer from before we hired her in September…or it might be someone she’s been doing a trial with for the last ten days.

Make sure you’re keeping a record of this stuff. I think you’re probably right that she’s just doing other jobs, but you’ll want to protect yourself in case she’s a more serious scammer and tries to blackmail you.

Anonymous wrote:Have you thought about going to her home and seeing how she is? It would serve you two ways because if she really is sick, it shows that you are compassionate and kind. You also get to see firsthand how she is doing .

OP - no I’m not going to her home because I don’t believe she’s there. One of the several reasons I’ve been suspicious of her motives is because while she claims to have a concussion and therefore not able to work or use her phone, she has logged into care.com several times in the last week. I know this because I’ve been on there too looking for a temp. Yesterday 11/26 someone posted a favorable review for her, which of course might be a former employer from before we hired her in September…or it might be someone she’s been doing a trial with for the last ten days.

My DD gave my brother a concussion when she was three. She jumped on him and landed poorly. It’s definitely possible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you allowed to terminate her immediately or was the PP correct that that would be considered a retaliatory discharge?

There are significant penalties for retaliatory discharge and they are not likely covered by insurance. In addition unless you’re not going to contest a claim for retaliatory discharge, there will likely be attorneys’ fees because it may be a claim that the carrier does not have to defend. OP should consider talking to her carrier and/or an attorney before she takes any action. I said it before - don’t take advice from internet strangers.

And DC doesn’t seem to be a particularly friendly venue for employers, either. If I were you, though, I’d be figuring out exactly where the bounds are. Stop giving her any leeway or taking any steps that make her life easier that aren’t legally required. She’s almost certainly half way to quitting on her own, so just try to make that decision easier for her.

The fear, though, is that this is part of a scam engineered from the start to sue you.

How were her references? Did previous employees notice any sketchy behavior?

She had two strong and long term references. There’s really nothing we can do at this point. She didn’t reach out to us about coming back to work, when I texted to check in she replied to say she had the doctors appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning and then she’d share an update. If I had reached out to her I wouldn’t have known she’s not coming again tomorrow.