Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me.

Well I’m in a marriage where I haven’t had a child yet due to lack of interest and cooperation from my husband. Now I’m too terrified to leave as bow can I divorce, fall in love and have a baby with rapidly declining fertility?

How old are you? Maybe you can freeze eggs (although there is no guarantee that would work either) or just run now if you are still young.

My AH husband and family stole my fertility - arranged marriage in early 20s. Husband is asexual, couldn't divorce due to cultural beliefs and parental pressure even though we are not compatible in anything. Tried IVFs in early 30's but found out my egg supply diminished early and my only option was egg donor. So I lost the chance to have my own biological kid because I stayed in a shitty sexless marriage. I've become a very bitter person since I was raised to stay and suffocate and that family honor was important. Now I am always depressed. Still married to a guy I hate.

I hope hearing this would help you.

I'll scratch that itch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women file for divorce 80% of the time. It is unlikely that a man simply divorces his wife for a younger woman.

Its a convenient mischaracterization to duck responsibility by blaming men for a woman's decline in fertility.

The typical woman spends her 20's exploring and dating around and then suddenly wants to find a "good man" in her early 30.
Many times, when a woman does find that "good man" he is not really her hearts desire but merely what she settled for because all her friends were getting married and she was feeling pressure to marry and have babies also.

She should have been figuring out husband and family in her early 20s.
Waiting until the last minute is unlikely to lead to good results.

+1. My husband’s ex wife divorced him when she was 34-35 because he had met someone else. That relationship didn’t work out. Then she met someone else, but could never have a baby. I know this because my husband still shares friend with ex wife.

Meanwhile DH and I have 3 kids… she was bad and mean to DH… so I am not too sad for her….

Anonymous wrote:Women file for divorce 80% of the time. It is unlikely that a man simply divorces his wife for a younger woman.

Its a convenient mischaracterization to duck responsibility by blaming men for a woman's decline in fertility.

The typical woman spends her 20's exploring and dating around and then suddenly wants to find a "good man" in her early 30.
Many times, when a woman does find that "good man" he is not really her hearts desire but merely what she settled for because all her friends were getting married and she was feeling pressure to marry and have babies also.

She should have been figuring out husband and family in her early 20s.
Waiting until the last minute is unlikely to lead to good results.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is women have right to divorce these men and move on, freeze embryos etc but they chose to stay in these fruitless pointless marriages. So it's the women mistake just as much as his avoidance of commitment to her

+1 No one is 'stealing' anyone's fertility. There are many ways to become a mother.

How is freezing the embryo of your ex husband a solution to infertility? And what other ways? Don’t say adoption, which is not a solution to infertility.

No one is reaching into a woman's abdomen and taking her reproductive organs. Infertility is a medical condition. If a woman is infertile, then she must adopt if she wants to be a mother. If she chooses not to adopt, well, she didn't really want to be a mother, she wanted to demonstrate her fertility.

As an adoptee and adoptive mother, you have a very simplistic view of adoption. It shouldn’t be treated as an easy solution to wanting to be a mother. Adoption is complicated for all parties involved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me.

Well I’m in a marriage where I haven’t had a child yet due to lack of interest and cooperation from my husband. Now I’m too terrified to leave as bow can I divorce, fall in love and have a baby with rapidly declining fertility?

How old are you? Maybe you can freeze eggs (although there is no guarantee that would work either) or just run now if you are still young.

My AH husband and family stole my fertility - arranged marriage in early 20s. Husband is asexual, couldn't divorce due to cultural beliefs and parental pressure even though we are not compatible in anything. Tried IVFs in early 30's but found out my egg supply diminished early and my only option was egg donor. So I lost the chance to have my own biological kid because I stayed in a shitty sexless marriage. I've become a very bitter person since I was raised to stay and suffocate and that family honor was important. Now I am always depressed. Still married to a guy I hate.

I hope hearing this would help you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

Guess you've never heard of middle eastern countries and many muslim countries where women don't have agency over their own lives. Be glad you are shielded from all that.

We don’t live in the middle east.

Well, we have women from there who now live in the US. And there are many who follow the same cultural practices no matter where they live, even if born and raised in the US.

And are these women posting on DCUM. Is op one of these women? Is Anniston? Didn't think so.

You and OP are no help to women telling them they have zero agency. And men are to blame for everything that goes wrong in their lives.

As a 38 year old woman it's infuriating to see this kind of talk on DCUM.
He didn't steal from you. You aren't a victim you ignored the red flags and now you're dealing with the consequences.

What do you not get? I am posting on DCUM and it is infuriating to see my life experience been dismissed/negated by people like you. I am not saying all women have no agency, I am saying there are some women who have had no agency because of their culture.

I am a victim of my culture, so F off telling me I should deal with it since I chose this. I did not choose this. And people like you would never understand what it is like to be in my shoes and the culture I was raised in. I'm done talking to people like you since it brings back trauma.

Anonymous wrote:Don't date losers.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like we live in a society these days where woman are endlessly blaming men. Many women, I believe, had opportunities before even say 35 to have kids and settle with good men. But all I hear is about men that are not good enough, men that are not present, men that refuse therapy, the list goes on and on. I don't know its just feel like these days its all about men not doing something right...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

It's the lying that is so horrible. The fact that people lie to someone so intimate with them. These issues are considered nonmarriages in the church for a reason.

It's tragic and horrible that only men lie to women, and women never lie to men.

I believe there was a comment earlier about how this is done in the reverse as well. But the topic is specifically about men lying.

If he tells you the truth and then later changes his mind because his feelings have changed, was he lying?

When women tell you before you get married how often they want to have sex, and then that frequency diminishes after marriage because their feelings have changed, were they lying?

Yes. It is. You should not be making commitments you can't even try to keep. I mean it's one thing if something traumatic happens to you and you can't take care of a child or you can't have kids or can't have sex as in your example, but even then you should have some way of keeping that spirit and committment alive. We are talking about people who deliberately misleed their spouse though and there are many people like that or who say they are all in but they are lying to themselves and to their spouse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

Guess you've never heard of middle eastern countries and many muslim countries where women don't have agency over their own lives. Be glad you are shielded from all that.

We don’t live in the middle east.

Well, we have women from there who now live in the US. And there are many who follow the same cultural practices no matter where they live, even if born and raised in the US.

And are these women posting on DCUM. Is op one of these women? Is Anniston? Didn't think so.

You and OP are no help to women telling them they have zero agency. And men are to blame for everything that goes wrong in their lives.

As a 38 year old woman it's infuriating to see this kind of talk on DCUM.
He didn't steal from you. You aren't a victim you ignored the red flags and now you're dealing with the consequences.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

Guess you've never heard of middle eastern countries and many muslim countries where women don't have agency over their own lives. Be glad you are shielded from all that.

We don’t live in the middle east.

Well, we have women from there who now live in the US. And there are many who follow the same cultural practices no matter where they live, even if born and raised in the US.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

It's the lying that is so horrible. The fact that people lie to someone so intimate with them. These issues are considered nonmarriages in the church for a reason.

It's tragic and horrible that only men lie to women, and women never lie to men.

I believe there was a comment earlier about how this is done in the reverse as well. But the topic is specifically about men lying.

If he tells you the truth and then later changes his mind because his feelings have changed, was he lying?

When women tell you before you get married how often they want to have sex, and then that frequency diminishes after marriage because their feelings have changed, were they lying?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

It's the lying that is so horrible. The fact that people lie to someone so intimate with them. These issues are considered nonmarriages in the church for a reason.

It's tragic and horrible that only men lie to women, and women never lie to men.

I believe there was a comment earlier about how this is done in the reverse as well. But the topic is specifically about men lying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

It's the lying that is so horrible. The fact that people lie to someone so intimate with them. These issues are considered nonmarriages in the church for a reason.

It's tragic and horrible that only men lie to women, and women never lie to men.

I believe there was a comment earlier about how this is done in the reverse as well. But the topic is specifically about men lying.