Anonymous
08/22/2022 09:30
Subject: Re:Are you ever secretly jealous of people with degrees from elite private schools?
Anonymous wrote:I'm not necessarily jealous of the school, but the family support that helped most get into a top college.
I managed to get into a T20 all on my own only to have my father tell me that he didn't support women attending college. He considered it a waste of money because "you're just going to end up a SAHM and I need to save my money for your brother." I got zero aid because we were upper middle class and my merit scholarship wasn't enough at the T20. I ended up at a forth tier school on a full ride, working three jobs for incidentals loke car insurance, groceries and books, because my father cut me off. I couldn't even afford the state school.
I made up for my humble undergrad with much more prestigious grad schools, but the whole thing still stings.
I think you've posted your story before on another thread, and I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you didn't the family support you. As a mom, I hurt for the kid-you. Congrats on all your hard earned achievements!
Anonymous
08/22/2022 09:28
Subject: Are you ever secretly jealous of people with degrees from elite private schools?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Well, knowing how a big percentage gets in on different quotas or by using their money, connections etc., it makes one question eligibility of every applicant. Even for everyone who gets in on merit, there are 10 equally or more eligible who doesn't get accepted because admission officers have personal biases which play for for against every applicant.
Totally agree. So many kids get into these schools are legacy admits or have some other connection to the school. I know this personally in my own family. The kids in my family who were admitted did well in school but were not the superstar kids that you would expect. It is not a merit system. That is why with my own DD, I do not care what she does or what college she goes to (thought she does have legacy to an ivy through her father). I wish that kids and parents were better aware of the system, so that they wouldn't be so disappointed or think that they were not "good enough." They are plenty good enough; they just weren't lucky enough to be born into a networked family.
There have been studies that show that the college that one attends does not have an impact on success or income 10 years out of college (except for the underprivileged where the connections of a good school give a boost). Elite schools are in place to help elites maintain their privilege.
This is true in some cases, but there are lots of kids who work like crazy to stand out and merit acceptance. We have no ties to any of the Ivies/T10 my kid go into. We are MC and need (and got) FA. Many of the kids my kid knows are not legacy and were just outstanding students. Mine won nat'l awards, NMSF, Capt of sports team, pres of clubs, all the honor societies, submitted arts portfolios, wrote great essays, etc etc. Many of the kids she's meeting worked on a similar level. Sure, there will be kids for whom connections gave a big boost, but most just worked hard and stood out.
Anonymous
08/22/2022 09:05
Subject: Are you ever secretly jealous of people with degrees from elite private schools?
Anonymous wrote:Well, knowing how a big percentage gets in on different quotas or by using their money, connections etc., it makes one question eligibility of every applicant. Even for everyone who gets in on merit, there are 10 equally or more eligible who doesn't get accepted because admission officers have personal biases which play for for against every applicant.
Totally agree. So many kids get into these schools are legacy admits or have some other connection to the school. I know this personally in my own family. The kids in my family who were admitted did well in school but were not the superstar kids that you would expect. It is not a merit system. That is why with my own DD, I do not care what she does or what college she goes to (thought she does have legacy to an ivy through her father). I wish that kids and parents were better aware of the system, so that they wouldn't be so disappointed or think that they were not "good enough." They are plenty good enough; they just weren't lucky enough to be born into a networked family.
There have been studies that show that the college that one attends does not have an impact on success or income 10 years out of college (except for the underprivileged where the connections of a good school give a boost). Elite schools are in place to help elites maintain their privilege.
Anonymous
08/21/2022 23:42
Subject: Are you ever secretly jealous of people with degrees from elite private schools?
No. It always seemed like too much pressure/work so it never interested me.
Anonymous
08/21/2022 22:04
Subject: Re:Are you ever secretly jealous of people with degrees from elite private schools?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No. quite the opposite. I usually go ‘huh, and yet you’re in the same company, a similar role, in the same room as me.’
It's one thing to say I wasn't smart to get into an elite school; another to say I don't give a hoot about elite schools. It's a sign of insecurity - or low class.
I wouldn't go quite that far, but all the people in this thread very enthusiastically proclaiming that they don't care about elite schools at all and that they suck, etc. etc. -- it does come across to me as insecurity more than anything else.
I think people are saying they don’t care because the whole point of this is whether your impressed with fancy schools. And as I’ve said above, not at all. And from what I can see who is getting in recently it’s not the best and brightest and the schools focus on a lot of strange social experiments.
Anonymous
08/21/2022 21:33
Subject: Re:Are you ever secretly jealous of people with degrees from elite private schools?
My 2 cents:
I have not felt jealous per se, but did regret not working harder in high school early on.
At some point I realized the impact of college name on success and happiness was a lot less than what one did after enrolling in college and beyond. I have seen too many coast on the brand name of their college, to the point where I think they would’ve been better off having gone elsewhere. I’ve also seen many others attend lower prestige schools then turn it on after finding their passion later in life and becoming wildly successful.
I’ve told my kids to go to the schools where they feel they will learn the most and not to think as much about rank or name recognition. Where one believes they will learn the most is a matter of fit, imo. I’m not saying rankings and reputation don’t matter at all, just much less than fit.
I have not felt jealous per se, but did regret not working harder in high school early on.
At some point I realized the impact of college name on success and happiness was a lot less than what one did after enrolling in college and beyond. I have seen too many coast on the brand name of their college, to the point where I think they would’ve been better off having gone elsewhere. I’ve also seen many others attend lower prestige schools then turn it on after finding their passion later in life and becoming wildly successful.
I’ve told my kids to go to the schools where they feel they will learn the most and not to think as much about rank or name recognition. Where one believes they will learn the most is a matter of fit, imo. I’m not saying rankings and reputation don’t matter at all, just much less than fit.
Anonymous
08/21/2022 21:12
Subject: Re:Are you ever secretly jealous of people with degrees from elite private schools?
I'm not necessarily jealous of the school, but the family support that helped most get into a top college.
I managed to get into a T20 all on my own only to have my father tell me that he didn't support women attending college. He considered it a waste of money because "you're just going to end up a SAHM and I need to save my money for your brother." I got zero aid because we were upper middle class and my merit scholarship wasn't enough at the T20. I ended up at a forth tier school on a full ride, working three jobs for incidentals loke car insurance, groceries and books, because my father cut me off. I couldn't even afford the state school.
I made up for my humble undergrad with much more prestigious grad schools, but the whole thing still stings.
I managed to get into a T20 all on my own only to have my father tell me that he didn't support women attending college. He considered it a waste of money because "you're just going to end up a SAHM and I need to save my money for your brother." I got zero aid because we were upper middle class and my merit scholarship wasn't enough at the T20. I ended up at a forth tier school on a full ride, working three jobs for incidentals loke car insurance, groceries and books, because my father cut me off. I couldn't even afford the state school.
I made up for my humble undergrad with much more prestigious grad schools, but the whole thing still stings.
Anonymous
08/21/2022 21:10
Subject: Re:Are you ever secretly jealous of people with degrees from elite private schools?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No. quite the opposite. I usually go ‘huh, and yet you’re in the same company, a similar role, in the same room as me.’
It's one thing to say I wasn't smart to get into an elite school; another to say I don't give a hoot about elite schools. It's a sign of insecurity - or low class.
I wouldn't go quite that far, but all the people in this thread very enthusiastically proclaiming that they don't care about elite schools at all and that they suck, etc. etc. -- it does come across to me as insecurity more than anything else.
Anonymous
08/21/2022 21:03
Subject: Re:Are you ever secretly jealous of people with degrees from elite private schools?
Anonymous wrote:No. quite the opposite. I usually go ‘huh, and yet you’re in the same company, a similar role, in the same room as me.’
It's one thing to say I wasn't smart to get into an elite school; another to say I don't give a hoot about elite schools. It's a sign of insecurity - or low class.
Anonymous
08/21/2022 20:50
Subject: Re:Are you ever secretly jealous of people with degrees from elite private schools?
Yes. Although not jealous as much as impressed. I wish I’d worked harder in high school to have gotten into a top 10. Those schools forever impress.
Anonymous
08/21/2022 20:43
Subject: Re:Are you ever secretly jealous of people with degrees from elite private schools?
No. quite the opposite. I usually go ‘huh, and yet you’re in the same company, a similar role, in the same room as me.’
Anonymous
08/21/2022 20:18
Subject: Are you ever secretly jealous of people with degrees from elite private schools?
Not at all. Some of my most successful friends didn’t finish college at all.
Anonymous
08/17/2022 15:35
Subject: Are you ever secretly jealous of people with degrees from elite private schools?
No because it means nothing in my field. Maybe if it mattered in my social circle-which, it also doesn't.
Anonymous
08/17/2022 12:17
Subject: Re:Are you ever secretly jealous of people with degrees from elite private schools?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why only private schools? I’m jealous of people with degrees from places like UCLA and Georgia Tech
Georgia Tech is nothing to be jealous of...
No. 1 in aerospace engineering. VERY difficult to get into. International students would kill to get into Georgia Tech
Anonymous
08/17/2022 12:14
Subject: Are you ever secretly jealous of people with degrees from elite private schools?
Jealous? No. More like intrigued.