Anonymous
08/26/2022 15:22
Subject: Who pays for wedding discussion
^ all those expenses are cheaper divided by 2
Anonymous
08/26/2022 08:32
Subject: Who pays for wedding discussion
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Daughter just got engaged!! How soon do we start the who will pay for what discussions. Do we start with our daughter or the couple together. Any suggestions? p.s. we have never met future inlaws and it would require a plane ride to meet in person.
Groom pays for rehearsal dinner.
Bride pays for every thing else.
If both have been working for awhile, parents should not even have to pay for weddings.
Those days are over.
DP here. I don't think so. If you can't afford a wedding, you can't afford to be married.
Dumb comment. Like saying if you can’t afford a down payment on a home you can’t afford to be married.
Is accurate to say if cannot afford to pay rent, phone bill and utilities then cannot afford to be married.
Anonymous
08/23/2022 13:34
Subject: Who pays for wedding discussion
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Daughter just got engaged!! How soon do we start the who will pay for what discussions. Do we start with our daughter or the couple together. Any suggestions? p.s. we have never met future inlaws and it would require a plane ride to meet in person.
Groom pays for rehearsal dinner.
Bride pays for every thing else.
If both have been working for awhile, parents should not even have to pay for weddings.
This is antiquated. Don't follow this.
Depends on the parents' net worth, income, etc. If you, the bride's parents, have $10m+ net worth, the couple may expect it. We paid for our wedding and my parents gave us $10,000 as a wedding gift, and they told me this is what they were doing before I planned the wedding (I don't think my parents have a $10m + networth, but they are doing well enough that this gift was probably not a sacrifice).
Anonymous
08/23/2022 11:30
Subject: Who pays for wedding discussion
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Daughter just got engaged!! How soon do we start the who will pay for what discussions. Do we start with our daughter or the couple together. Any suggestions? p.s. we have never met future inlaws and it would require a plane ride to meet in person.
Groom pays for rehearsal dinner.
Bride pays for every thing else.
If both have been working for awhile, parents should not even have to pay for weddings.
This is antiquated. Don't follow this.
Anonymous
08/21/2022 15:24
Subject: Who pays for wedding discussion
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Daughter just got engaged!! How soon do we start the who will pay for what discussions. Do we start with our daughter or the couple together. Any suggestions? p.s. we have never met future inlaws and it would require a plane ride to meet in person.
Groom pays for rehearsal dinner.
Bride pays for every thing else.
If both have been working for awhile, parents should not even have to pay for weddings.
Those days are over.
DP here. I don't think so. If you can't afford a wedding, you can't afford to be married.
Dumb comment. Like saying if you can’t afford a down payment on a home you can’t afford to be married.
Anonymous
08/21/2022 15:10
Subject: Who pays for wedding discussion
If the brides parents paying was a tradition from dowry’s, then what did the grooms family give? A house? Why did it evolve to the grooms family giving basically nothing and brides family paying $$$?
Anonymous
08/21/2022 14:59
Subject: United States
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Groom pays for rehearsal dinner.
Bride pays for every thing else.
This is 2022, not 1922!
We have 3 kids (mix of boys/girls), and have saved/earmarked $50k for each of their weddings. If the other family contributes too, great. If they elope and use the money towards a house, great. If they want to use just our funds, or add to it, great. Their wedding, their lives, their choices. ZERO judgment from us.
+1. Why should the bride’s parents pay for an event that both the bride and groom partake in equally? And why are parents cagey about how much they can contribute?
Anonymous
08/20/2022 18:27
Subject: Who pays for wedding discussion
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Daughter just got engaged!! How soon do we start the who will pay for what discussions. Do we start with our daughter or the couple together. Any suggestions? p.s. we have never met future inlaws and it would require a plane ride to meet in person.
Groom pays for rehearsal dinner.
Bride pays for every thing else.
If both have been working for awhile, parents should not even have to pay for weddings.
Those days are over.
DP here. I don't think so. If you can't afford a wedding, you can't afford to be married.
Anonymous
08/18/2022 14:32
Subject: Who pays for wedding discussion
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Daughter just got engaged!! How soon do we start the who will pay for what discussions. Do we start with our daughter or the couple together. Any suggestions? p.s. we have never met future inlaws and it would require a plane ride to meet in person.
Groom pays for rehearsal dinner.
Bride pays for every thing else.
If both have been working for awhile, parents should not even have to pay for weddings.
Those days are over.
Anonymous
08/15/2022 15:52
Subject: Who pays for wedding discussion
Anonymous wrote:We are Indian American and have a boy and a girl. We will be giving each $50K towards their wedding. They can use it any way they want to. We will attend the wedding as guests. They are dating White people. Our guess is that the other parents will not be contributing anything. We are not interested in giving anyone a Bollywood extravaganza on our dime.
OMG--yes! Indian weddings are often over the top (I'm part of an Indian American family). Most are done to showcase for friends and family, with definition of friends being "anyone you have every met or worked with" I'm thankful that I don't think my kids will want anything like that when they get married. I've been to so many with 500-700+ in attendance, where the bride/groom don't even know half the people.
Anonymous
08/15/2022 15:27
Subject: Who pays for wedding discussion
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Daughter just got engaged!! How soon do we start the who will pay for what discussions. Do we start with our daughter or the couple together. Any suggestions? p.s. we have never met future inlaws and it would require a plane ride to meet in person.
Groom pays for rehearsal dinner.
Bride pays for every thing else.
If both have been working for awhile, parents should not even have to pay for weddings.
x10000000
Over a certain age - couple looks ridiculous if their aging parents have to pay for a wedding!
Only to people like you.
I would love to give my child the gift of covering a wedding at any age, if I could afford it. And, really, I don't care what you think about that.
Anonymous
07/26/2022 16:59
Subject: Who pays for wedding discussion
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why do parents still tie giving money to their children and their children's weddings? What if a child never gets married?
Also, the talk of "covering your plate" is gross
Um, parents often give their adult sons and daughters a monetary gift to be used for a down payment, a wedding, a trip, a car, savings. Why are you acting like people only give money for a wedding, or that everyone gives these types of gifts at all?
I have no idea how my comment is suggesting that to you or why you'd even think anyone would suggest that.
When people here talk about their weddings or their children's weddings, they often say that the parents used that as an occasion to offer them money that they could spend as they wished. And what I wonder is why a wedding inspires this sort of generosity -- if I were an older, unmarried sibling, I might feel as though my parents think getting married is the only way to show someone is an adult. Similarly, parents talk about planning ahead for a wedding, saving for years to be able to pay for a party. It's weird.
My parents paid for my wedding and for my sister's, and my mom gave my brother money for his. We have another sibling who is probably never going to get married, and I don't see why he shouldn't get a few thousand dollars to keep him warm at night. (I would never tell my mother how to spend her money, but I can't stop wondering if he's bothered -- I assume he is)
He totally should! My parents gave each of us 3 siblings checks for the same amount when the first got engaged. To be used for a wedding, down-payment, whatever. They didn't want us to ever fight about money or think we were not being treated equally.
Anonymous
07/25/2022 14:31
Subject: Who pays for wedding discussion
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Daughter just got engaged!! How soon do we start the who will pay for what discussions. Do we start with our daughter or the couple together. Any suggestions? p.s. we have never met future inlaws and it would require a plane ride to meet in person.
Groom pays for rehearsal dinner.
Bride pays for every thing else.
If both have been working for awhile, parents should not even have to pay for weddings.
This was never the rule, but something one group of people did. Please don't perpetuate it.
In east coast WASP culture, this most certainly was at one time “the rule.” For many generations.
It still is the tradition here.
In certain moneyed circles. Or in circles that would like to give the appearance of having more than they do. Usually when the brides are heading for SAHM status or are very young, in my observation.
Anonymous
07/25/2022 10:48
Subject: Re:Who pays for wedding discussion
We married 20 years ago and split things up the primarily the traditional way. Though rehearsal dinner did include all out of town guests, and most were out of town so it was a big ordeal and was nearly as expensive as the wedding reception my parents paid for. DH paid for band, limo and honeymoon. I paid for flowers and photography/ video. We split a morning after brunch. DH parents also gave a small down payment on a TH.
We have boys and girls and save the same amount for all. They know they have this savings account and they can decide what to use it for.
We have boys and girls and save the same amount for all. They know they have this savings account and they can decide what to use it for.
Anonymous
07/22/2022 16:17
Subject: Who pays for wedding discussion
OP nowadays anything goes.
Please be upfront with them on what you are will to pay for.
People go crazy for these things when they have no money and honestly it's absurd.
Marriages can last a lifetime one day is not going to change that outcome.
I am happy to attend my friends' kids black tie over-the-top weddings and celebrate. My kids know even though finances say this is a drop in the bucket for us, nope never in my world. That is just me. Everyone should do them.
Please be upfront with them on what you are will to pay for.
People go crazy for these things when they have no money and honestly it's absurd.
Marriages can last a lifetime one day is not going to change that outcome.
I am happy to attend my friends' kids black tie over-the-top weddings and celebrate. My kids know even though finances say this is a drop in the bucket for us, nope never in my world. That is just me. Everyone should do them.