Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

I’m the pp you’re responding to, and I’m not a troll.

Are you actually saying that, in the absence of other background, if you spouse laughs at the other for a terrible outfit while the kids are standing there - that this by itself is abuse??? You are making a mockery of abuse. I’m on 22 years of happy marriage with a compassionate husband, and we’ve definitely had laughs at the others expense over the years regarding clothes (he hates my denim shorts, and skinny jeans are not kind to his thighs, just for starters).

If op walked down the stairs legitimately looking like a bumblebee and her DH was like “ha you look like a bumblebee, heys kids mom looks like a bumblebee” and Op lost her shit, refused to go the party or answer his calls… there is no de facto abuse in that scenario.

With more information, it may rise to abuse. But with the gaps OP left out, I’m not ready to jump to abuse. Again you make a mockery of abuse by suggesting this meets the threshold.

Anonymous wrote:Women need to stay away from men who treat them like shit. Don’t date them, don’t have sex with them, don’t live with them, don’t marry them. Don’t rant at them, don’t negotiate with them, and don’t explain. As soon as it happens, turn around and walk away. It will benefit you immensely. But if we all do it, it will actually change the world.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

If my DH's outfit looks absurd, like shirt too short and pants too low, I tell him I won't be seen with him, and our daughter mocks him too until he changes. Its because we care that he not embarass himself.

I just don't understand the double standard here. If you are a true feminist like me (I am a 3rd generation college educated mother, financially independent, and the bread winner of my home), well then it goes both ways. If I look like a bumble bee, I want to know too.

What double standard? I would never tell my H I won’t be seen with him, and I’d never tolerate our child mocking him. I would politely let him know if his pants were too low, but if he chooses to wear them, that’s his choice. It’s not my place to decide what is or isn’t embarrassing for him.

Where did op say that her husband said he wouldn’t be seen with her?

Anonymous wrote:Women need to stay away from men who treat them like shit. Don’t date them, don’t have sex with them, don’t live with them, don’t marry them. Don’t rant at them, don’t negotiate with them, and don’t explain. As soon as it happens, turn around and walk away. It will benefit you immensely. But if we all do it, it will actually change the w
Ver

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

If my DH's outfit looks absurd, like shirt too short and pants too low, I tell him I won't be seen with him, and our daughter mocks him too until he changes. Its because we care that he not embarass himself.

I just don't understand the double standard here. If you are a true feminist like me (I am a 3rd generation college educated mother, financially independent, and the bread winner of my home), well then it goes both ways. If I look like a bumble bee, I want to know too.

What double standard? I would never tell my H I won’t be seen with him, and I’d never tolerate our child mocking him. I would politely let him know if his pants were too low, but if he chooses to wear them, that’s his choice. It’s not my place to decide what is or isn’t embarrassing for him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

If my DH's outfit looks absurd, like shirt too short and pants too low, I tell him I won't be seen with him, and our daughter mocks him too until he changes. Its because we care that he not embarass himself.

I just don't understand the double standard here. If you are a true feminist like me (I am a 3rd generation college educated mother, financially independent, and the bread winner of my home), well then it goes both ways. If I look like a bumble bee, I want to know too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

If my DH's outfit looks absurd, like shirt too short and pants too low, I tell him I won't be seen with him, and our daughter mocks him too until he changes. Its because we care that he not embarass himself.

I just don't understand the double standard here. If you are a true feminist like me (I am a 3rd generation college educated mother, financially independent, and the bread winner of my home), well then it goes both ways. If I look like a bumble bee, I want to know too.

What double standard? I would never tell my H I won’t be seen with him, and I’d never tolerate our child mocking him. I would politely let him know if his pants were too low, but if he chooses to wear them, that’s his choice. It’s not my place to decide what is or isn’t embarrassing for him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

If my DH's outfit looks absurd, like shirt too short and pants too low, I tell him I won't be seen with him, and our daughter mocks him too until he changes. Its because we care that he not embarass himself.

I just don't understand the double standard here. If you are a true feminist like me (I am a 3rd generation college educated mother, financially independent, and the bread winner of my home), well then it goes both ways. If I look like a bumble bee, I want to know too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women need to stay away from men who treat them like shit. Don’t date them, don’t have sex with them, don’t live with them, don’t marry them. Don’t rant at them, don’t negotiate with them, and don’t explain. As soon as it happens, turn around and walk away. It will benefit you immensely. But if we all do it, it will actually change the world.

Do you have any experience with abuse? It’s not that simple. The vast majority of abusers start off as charming and caring. Obviously if a man flips out over your outfit on a first date, you’ll leave and never speak with him again. But it’s not on the first date, and it’s not over something big. They hook you in with their charm, then they start small, and slowly turn the heat up over time. They convince you that reality is completely different, that you are the problem. And by the time you realize what is going on, there’s marriage, kids, people pressuring you to stay, marriage counselors that convince you it’s equally your fault for triggering him, you’re stressed over what a divorce will do to your kids and what will happen the time they are alone with dad.

It’s not as easy as you think. Turn around and walk away? My xH would have physically blocked me from leaving. Then what, call the cops? He was a cop and his buddies wouldn’t do sh!t. I know other women and if they tried to walk away, they would be physically beaten.

I suggest you read Lundy Bancroft, he’s done extensive work on abuse. The woman alone cannot usually stop it, there needs to be consequences from multiple people, most importantly from other men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Enough of your trolling!

There's absolutely nothing that can justify OP's husband mocking her outfit , having their children movk her outfit. Getting upset when she didn't change and then taking their kids and leaving because he didn't get his way.
That's abusive behavior period.

We don't excuse abusive behavior on DCUM so I suggest you go troll elsewhere.

Anonymous wrote:The only thing OP said her DH did was make fun of her outfit. It's not clear if he refused to let her come to the party unless she changed, or if OP was pissed off at his bumblebee comment and refused to go to the party. The first scenario is abuse. The second scenario is super immaturity on OP's part.

I am surprised so many people are calling him abusive when OP's original facts are so lacking.

OP - we need more info.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to agree with the husband on this one. Why not just change? And why not answer the phone when he called? Sounds like you were looking for an argument

Can I ask what gender you are?