Anonymous wrote:I thought I knew everything there was to know about having kids. And then I had them and I realized I knew nothing.

What did you learn by having kids that child free people couldn’t glean from friends and family? Of course a 20 year old probably wouldn’t understand what parenthood would entail but people who have actively chosen to be child free likely do know. That’s why they don’t have kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They think they do but unless you’ve had kids, not babysat or nannies, you will never know how much work it is on a daily basis.

I see the opposite a lot too. People with young kids, who apparently didn't do anything hard before the kids came along so they think it's the hardest thing ever, not recognizing that teenagers also need a lot of work and time, or that being or caretaking for the elderly is, in itself, also exhausting and time consuming, and coming to the conclusion that the world should evolve around them because they are doing the hardest thing ever.

Having healthy young kids was hard, but it's not the hardest thing ever like people make it out to be.

TY!

I have twins, who are nearly 20. Yes, those early years were grindingly hard, but it also was for my mom when she had five kids under 7, including one with disabilities. My SiL had one healthy baby who had trouble latching and you'd think the world was on the verge of collapse. Maybe coming from a big family with limited resources helped me have perspective here. And while a childless person may not know the daily tedium and pops of anxiety of being a parent doesn't mean they still don't have any insights on kids.

Agree with both of these . When I hear complaining like that of the OP it's always from people who spent their prekid years going out to clubs and bars and getting their hair and nails done . Or it's parents with relatively minor issues like baby not being able to latch or having to wear a helmet or be in EI for a few months.

I guess my life experience was different. I had cared for kids since I was young,( just a babysitter and nanny as op puts it,) soni knee how grinding taking care of little kids is. I was also responsible for gettingy dick and dying father to his appointments and getting him to take meds. Did a lot of his hospice care. And I'd rather take on 10 toddlers who are crabby due to late dinner than manage elder care. I also have a career with very sick kids so minor issues I just took in stride.

I think people have it right that many people just don't think at all before having kids

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They think they do but unless you’ve had kids, not babysat or nannies, you will never know how much work it is on a daily basis.

I see the opposite a lot too. People with young kids, who apparently didn't do anything hard before the kids came along so they think it's the hardest thing ever, not recognizing that teenagers also need a lot of work and time, or that being or caretaking for the elderly is, in itself, also exhausting and time consuming, and coming to the conclusion that the world should evolve around them because they are doing the hardest thing ever.

Having healthy young kids was hard, but it's not the hardest thing ever like people make it out to be.

TY!

I have twins, who are nearly 20. Yes, those early years were grindingly hard, but it also was for my mom when she had five kids under 7, including one with disabilities. My SiL had one healthy baby who had trouble latching and you'd think the world was on the verge of collapse. Maybe coming from a big family with limited resources helped me have perspective here. And while a childless person may not know the daily tedium and pops of anxiety of being a parent doesn't mean they still don't have any insights on kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate.

- Socrates

Yup they hate their lives as parents and wish they hadn't done it

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL has 3 kids and he never got it either. All that ever mattered to him was he, he, he. One year, I was traveling with 2 small kids to Africa where we lived. Flight was at midnight. He took a week off to pack for his cruise and told me that he can't help me as he was packing for his cruise, that he was not leaving for for 4 days still.
He always made it to pick up his son from the airport.
I will never forgive it, never. I was in the States bcs my DD was sick and this was us packing to go back. I took a shuttle in the middle of the night to airport.
Did he have to help me? No, not at all. I will still never forgive this.

This just reflects negatively on you, OP, not him. You are petty and entitled.

Whatever. I am neither petty not entitled. FIL is both, all the time. You have no idea as you sound just like FIL. Selfish, self centered person.

Yes, you are entitled. Your FIL did not choose to bring your kids into the world. He was under no obligation to take you to the airport in the middle of the night. And “you will still never forgive this?” Yes. You are entitled.

DP