Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 15:41     Subject: This week at family beach home, pretend not to realize a nephew was supposed to graduate?
Anonymous wrote:Week-long extended family festivities at beach homes the family owns, plus a rental. Lots of socializing. My brother-in-law's son is the oldest out of the group of cousins including our kids, and he was supposed to graduate from college this spring. His mother tends to overshare on Facebook, so it was noticeable that there was nothing about his graduation ceremony. Curious, I looked him up on LinkedIn and not only is there no graduation listed, zero summer internships are listed either. He attends an excellent university where taking longer than four years is very abnormal. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable but at the same time I am concerned and would like to know what is going on.


So what did you learn at the beach house weekend OP?

Anything? Or what everyone avoiding the topic or ignoring it?
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 14:00     Subject: This week at family beach home, pretend not to realize a nephew was supposed to graduate?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why not just be normal? "Hey Gavin, how's school going?"

Then he can say "Great! You know what else is great? This dip Aunt Wendy made. I'm going to get more. Want anything?" if he doesn't want to talk about it.

Or he can say "It's okay. I'm a little bummed - I was supposed to graduate this year but because of the pandemic I wound up a year behind so am going to be a super senior." And then you can be kind and say "You're always super in my book, Gavin! And LOTS of people fell behind because of the pandemic - don't worry about it."


It’s called a 5th year not super senior


May be common at state schools but it’s extremely odd at prestigious colleges. Unless you quit to launch a startup or something.


Yeah no. I went to HYP and graduated a year late due to a combination of mental health issues and adding a second major. I make quarter of a million dollars now at age 35 and I could have made more if I hadn’t kind of mommy-tracked myself.


No, you didn’t. Because if you did you’d realize when well over 90% of your classmates graduated on time, your fifth year was not “common,” it was in fact “odd”.


Not true at all. If you don’t summer classes you don’t graduate in 4 years.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 12:21     Subject: This week at family beach home, pretend not to realize a nephew was supposed to graduate?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why not just be normal? "Hey Gavin, how's school going?"

Then he can say "Great! You know what else is great? This dip Aunt Wendy made. I'm going to get more. Want anything?" if he doesn't want to talk about it.

Or he can say "It's okay. I'm a little bummed - I was supposed to graduate this year but because of the pandemic I wound up a year behind so am going to be a super senior." And then you can be kind and say "You're always super in my book, Gavin! And LOTS of people fell behind because of the pandemic - don't worry about it."


It’s called a 5th year not super senior


May be common at state schools but it’s extremely odd at prestigious colleges. Unless you quit to launch a startup or something.


Yeah no. I went to HYP and graduated a year late due to a combination of mental health issues and adding a second major. I make quarter of a million dollars now at age 35 and I could have made more if I hadn’t kind of mommy-tracked myself.


No, you didn’t. Because if you did you’d realize when well over 90% of your classmates graduated on time, your fifth year was not “common,” it was in fact “odd”.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 12:20     Subject: This week at family beach home, pretend not to realize a nephew was supposed to graduate?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why not just be normal? "Hey Gavin, how's school going?"

Then he can say "Great! You know what else is great? This dip Aunt Wendy made. I'm going to get more. Want anything?" if he doesn't want to talk about it.

Or he can say "It's okay. I'm a little bummed - I was supposed to graduate this year but because of the pandemic I wound up a year behind so am going to be a super senior." And then you can be kind and say "You're always super in my book, Gavin! And LOTS of people fell behind because of the pandemic - don't worry about it."


It’s called a 5th year not super senior


May be common at state schools but it’s extremely odd at prestigious colleges. Unless you quit to launch a startup or something.


Yeah no. I went to HYP and graduated a year late due to a combination of mental health issues and adding a second major. I make quarter of a million dollars now at age 35 and I could have made more if I hadn’t kind of mommy-tracked myself.


No, you didn’t. Because if you did you’d realize when we’ll over 90% of your classmates graduated on time, your fifth year was not “common” or was in fact “odd”.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 12:18     Subject: This week at family beach home, pretend not to realize a nephew was supposed to graduate?
In my family, a slacker is going to be in the receiving end of some ribbing from cousins and aunts and uncles. Sorry, nobody is walking on eggshells because your kid is a slacker — esp when drinking is involved and it’s a multi-day party.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2022 09:48     Subject: This week at family beach home, pretend not to realize a nephew was supposed to graduate?
Is the nephew a stem major? Or a double or triple or have minors they are completing? Many upper level classes are not offered every semester and even if they happen to be offered the semester you need it the professor sometimes drops out for one reason or another. It is quite normal to take more than 4y to graduate in any of these cases.

Additionally, plenty of people delay and take a light final semester to focus on interviewing, research with professor, to qualify for certain competitions or study abroad even without C19. MYOB, though.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2022 22:26     Subject: This week at family beach home, pretend not to realize a nephew was supposed to graduate?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why not just be normal? "Hey Gavin, how's school going?"

Then he can say "Great! You know what else is great? This dip Aunt Wendy made. I'm going to get more. Want anything?" if he doesn't want to talk about it.

Or he can say "It's okay. I'm a little bummed - I was supposed to graduate this year but because of the pandemic I wound up a year behind so am going to be a super senior." And then you can be kind and say "You're always super in my book, Gavin! And LOTS of people fell behind because of the pandemic - don't worry about it."


It’s called a 5th year not super senior


May be common at state schools but it’s extremely odd at prestigious colleges. Unless you quit to launch a startup or something.


Yeah no. I went to HYP and graduated a year late due to a combination of mental health issues and adding a second major. I make quarter of a million dollars now at age 35 and I could have made more if I hadn’t kind of mommy-tracked myself.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2022 22:05     Subject: This week at family beach home, pretend not to realize a nephew was supposed to graduate?
OP- stop being so involved with situations that aren’t your business. My goodness, googling on Linked-in to spy. You have too much time on your hands.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2022 19:30     Subject: This week at family beach home, pretend not to realize a nephew was supposed to graduate?
It would never occur to me to give this a second thought. People double major, change majors, take semesters off or a lighter load one semester…

Why are you even thinking about this?
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2022 18:38     Subject: This week at family beach home, pretend not to realize a nephew was supposed to graduate?
Anonymous wrote:So in addition to not graduating on time, the same young man got a week off his summer internship to go kick back at a beach house? Summer internships which just began a week or two ago.


Lol jealous? The same young man will inherit the beach house! Maybe you can work for him one day?
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2022 14:07     Subject: This week at family beach home, pretend not to realize a nephew was supposed to graduate?
So in addition to not graduating on time, the same young man got a week off his summer internship to go kick back at a beach house? Summer internships which just began a week or two ago.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2022 12:47     Subject: This week at family beach home, pretend not to realize a nephew was supposed to graduate?
Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time believing people when they say they want to know something because they are "concerned". Concerned about what exactly? Graduating a year later than anticipated is hardly the kiss of death. But if that really is the case, ask your brother in law privately.



x1000000

THIS.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2022 12:45     Subject: This week at family beach home, pretend not to realize a nephew was supposed to graduate?
Anonymous wrote:
I just ask. It's part of normal conversation.

Our 3 families each have one child with issues, out of the 7 kids we have in total. So it's not like any family is going to judge! There is no shaming, and there are no taboos.



And that’s normal. OP clearly has the perfect family and the perfect kids which is why it utterly shocks her that her nephew may be on a different path. Seriously she sounds insufferable and I feel sorry for the family that has to spend time at the beach with her. I’d label her Judgy McJudgy and call it a day.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2022 12:13     Subject: This week at family beach home, pretend not to realize a nephew was supposed to graduate?

I just ask. It's part of normal conversation.

Our 3 families each have one child with issues, out of the 7 kids we have in total. So it's not like any family is going to judge! There is no shaming, and there are no taboos.

Anonymous
Post 06/11/2022 11:43     Subject: Re:This week at family beach home, pretend not to realize a nephew was supposed to graduate?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine college and internships NOT coming up when chatting with family who have college-aged children. I bet the family and kid has a canned line of b.s. to feed everyone. Make sure you ask follow-up questions and watch the lies fall apart.


I agree. If you’re spending time with them in a beach house over a period of days, I can’t believe this didn’t come up organically. You all don’t seem very close.


What an odd way to approach family that you're supposedly "concerned" about. If you're the kind of person who looks forward to "watching the lies fall apart," maybe that's why they don't share anything with you?