My mother played in college but never introduced my siblings and me to her team sport. She regretted getting arthritis at an early age as a result of injuries and she didn’t want that for us. She directed us toward individual sports and the performing and fine arts as extracurriculars. I was sad as a kid because it would have been fun to be on a youth team or to have had her as a coach. My brother now has his kids in travel sports and I find it ironic but it is funny how parenting is a reflection of or a reaction to your own experience.

Anonymous wrote:I think too many people jump to travel too quickly. Some parents lack an understanding of their kids ability and potential. They maybe good on rec but that doesn’t mean they are good enough for a top travel team. Thus we have mid and lower level travel teams mad up of kids that really should be playing rec which in turn would make rec more competitive and fewer kids would leave for travel.

I agree, but would add that it isn't necessarily parents pushing their kids toward travel. I have three kids, who of whom are more serious about their sports and one who plays for fun. There are too many travel teams now, so playing rec is not fun for a kid who wants to do anything other than have fun. The practices don't offer a real opportunity to improve, the level of commitment is low, players don't come to practice, skip games or show up mid-way, and to the extent that your sport requires learning how to play as a team, development of game IQ is all but impossible. For instance, you can't learn a give and go in soccer if your teammate neither give nor go.

I would love to see youth sports return to where they were when I was a kid, where rec. was more like the lower levels of travel are now. The leagues would be made up of committed kids and families who show up for practice and games, but whose lives don't revolve around the sport. For those not ready for that level of commitment, there can be drop-in sports or practices, that allow kids to do something without the structure of teams. With the majority of kids playing in rec leagues that are fun and helping with development, the recreational leagues can offer limited "travel" options, made up of select players who want a more competitive experience. Offering the majority of the chance to play in a fun, structured, and developmentally oriented environment while they are young without the disruption of yearly tryouts, kids hopping clubs, and regular coach turnover and they leave for rival clubs, would ultimately allow the most talented to rise to the top as they get older, while at the same time, keeping more players in the sport.

This would never work, of course, because the economic reality is that coaches and clubs want as many travel players as possible, regardless of their skill level. However, there is no reason to drive 1-2 or more hours every weekend plus weekend in hotels for tournaments for what basically amounts to what used to be the level of a rec team in the past. But it would make for healthier kids and families spending less time in their cars and allowing stability to grow in the sport and socially.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Disagree. We want our kids to learn about competition.

Ok and what if they don't want the same level of competition as you? These are kids, this is supposed to be fun.

A lot of parents don’t expect that their kids are as competitive as them. The point is for them to feel that and be challenged and perhaps want to get better. I have multiple kids and they all have diff levels of competitiveness depending on the activity and their individual personalities. Being good at something, getting better at something is fun for some kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll agree to this only if you also agree that no kids should do children’s theater or music unless they have a chance of being in Hollywood movies, Broadway, or a major symphony.

Personally I might seriously consider this tradeoff if it spares me the pain of yet one more youth theater performance.

+1

Why do math if you won’t be Einstein?

Why do anything?

The OP’s point is that to do travel sports, it is expensive and requires a lot of time from parents to drive their kid to practices and games, the parents can be crazy, and it demands a lot from kids physically, etc. Doing math is required but doesn’t cost more than expected school costs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids play travel sports because DH and I both played travel sports then a college sport, so for us it is just a lifestyle that we love and are comfortable with spending our time and money to support. Ironically, our youngest son chose about the only 2 sports that neither of us played growing up (ice hockey and lacrosse), so we're having fun learning along the way, but the level of athleticism and parental commitment required is the same across most sports (though hockey is really expensive). Older kids played travel sports then D1 and D3 athletics (no scholarship for either). Wouldn't change it for the world. We just love sports.

Translation: we like it, so we forced it on our kids.

Yes, this. Because kids can't have a childhood or be functional adults without all of these extras.

Exactly. I love how the poster says her youngest chose a sport "neither of us played growing up." What she really means is: we made clear to the kids that they had to pick at least one sport to participate in and didn't give them a choice in the matter because that's how important we think playing a sport is. Because we all know that that is exactly what happened.

Kids who do sports when they are young learn the value of moving their bodies for the fun of it and it carries over into adulthood. Most people I know who didn't do any sports as kids are frumpy in their middle age. I'm guessing you're one of them. Have fun enjoying the health problems that come with being sedentary. I'm sure you'll lie here and say you exercise every day. I call BS.

Most of the people I know who have played sports are fat and walk with difficult because of old injuries.

Most of my friends were college athletes and the only one who is fat with injuries is my husband. That’s because he has arthritis, which his doctor advised would have presented itself anyway…. Even without the years of sports.

Anonymous wrote:Disagree. We want our kids to learn about competition.

Ok and what if they don't want the same level of competition as you? These are kids, this is supposed to be fun.

Disagree. We want our kids to learn about competition.

Anonymous wrote:B team, baby! More local travel, fewer crazy parents. Still a good experience for many kids. Some of them will grow into wonderful high school and college athletes; some will tap out in 7th grade. It's all fine. Whatever each family decides.

Or even C or D! Some of us know what it is. Pay to play and we don’t care. I’m not that competitive and will let my kids do travel if they want because it’s more time away from electronics and it’s social. It’s not a financial hardship for us. The lower teams don’t have any major travel and we certainly aren’t going in hotels. Maybe we have an hour drive at most. When they were younger, I’d rather do that than host playdates.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with OP. I probably wouldn't even enroll my kid in travel sports if they DID have college or pro potential. They can play on school teams or local leagues, and if they are really that talented, they may still be scouted. No way am I wasting their childhood and my life on the misguided idea that children must specialize in a sport from a young age to succeed in life. No thanks, but if a bunch of rich, insecure parents want to waste their time and money this way, go off I guess.

You have a lot of misconceptions about why people do travel sports. But regardless, I think if your family has a great time doing other things, then that's awesome! And others have a blast making sports a big part of their lives, which is also great! I don't think we need to be so negative about other people's choices and what they consider enjoyable.

I mean, i know families that spend a ton of time playing music, or traveling around birding, or hanging around the house, etc. They spend their days differently than we do, but if it makes them happy, then I'm all for it. I like hearing about their lives because they are interesting, and they are kind enough to ask about ours.

This. I am not a sports person. At all. Yet I somehow managed to birth some, and I can see the benefits. But members of our extended family are into music, and theater, and writing, and it’s all good. We try to show up for all of it.

(All this to say that yes, travel sports can be toxic for kids, but it can also be great. Not judging other families’ choices is also great.)

Disagree, it was a great experience for our family. Two kids played travel sports. They enjoyed and needed the higher level of competition, they developed life long friendships, I found new friendships, I learned my way around VA because of their sport, my kids (older teen and early 20’s) are very physically fit and take pride in being healthy and fit, some of their coaches were also mentors, they were able to travel by plane and bus with their teams. I understand other people have horrible experiences so I know that it’s not for everyone, but I have no regrets and I think my kids greatly benefited.

Anonymous wrote:I’ll agree to this only if you also agree that no kids should do children’s theater or music unless they have a chance of being in Hollywood movies, Broadway, or a major symphony.

Personally I might seriously consider this tradeoff if it spares me the pain of yet one more youth theater performance.

+1

Why do math if you won’t be Einstein?

Why do anything?

Anonymous wrote:Agree with OP. I probably wouldn't even enroll my kid in travel sports if they DID have college or pro potential. They can play on school teams or local leagues, and if they are really that talented, they may still be scouted. No way am I wasting their childhood and my life on the misguided idea that children must specialize in a sport from a young age to succeed in life. No thanks, but if a bunch of rich, insecure parents want to waste their time and money this way, go off I guess.

You have a lot of misconceptions about why people do travel sports. But regardless, I think if your family has a great time doing other things, then that's awesome! And others have a blast making sports a big part of their lives, which is also great! I don't think we need to be so negative about other people's choices and what they consider enjoyable.

I mean, i know families that spend a ton of time playing music, or traveling around birding, or hanging around the house, etc. They spend their days differently than we do, but if it makes them happy, then I'm all for it. I like hearing about their lives because they are interesting, and they are kind enough to ask about ours.

Anonymous wrote:Agree with OP. I probably wouldn't even enroll my kid in travel sports if they DID have college or pro potential. They can play on school teams or local leagues, and if they are really that talented, they may still be scouted. No way am I wasting their childhood and my life on the misguided idea that children must specialize in a sport from a young age to succeed in life. No thanks, but if a bunch of rich, insecure parents want to waste their time and money this way, go off I guess.

With the exception of football, just how many non-club players do you think make school teams?

Agree with OP. I probably wouldn't even enroll my kid in travel sports if they DID have college or pro potential. They can play on school teams or local leagues, and if they are really that talented, they may still be scouted. No way am I wasting their childhood and my life on the misguided idea that children must specialize in a sport from a young age to succeed in life. No thanks, but if a bunch of rich, insecure parents want to waste their time and money this way, go off I guess.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids play travel sports because DH and I both played travel sports then a college sport, so for us it is just a lifestyle that we love and are comfortable with spending our time and money to support. Ironically, our youngest son chose about the only 2 sports that neither of us played growing up (ice hockey and lacrosse), so we're having fun learning along the way, but the level of athleticism and parental commitment required is the same across most sports (though hockey is really expensive). Older kids played travel sports then D1 and D3 athletics (no scholarship for either). Wouldn't change it for the world. We just love sports.

Translation: we like it, so we forced it on our kids.

Yes, this. Because kids can't have a childhood or be functional adults without all of these extras.

Exactly. I love how the poster says her youngest chose a sport "neither of us played growing up." What she really means is: we made clear to the kids that they had to pick at least one sport to participate in and didn't give them a choice in the matter because that's how important we think playing a sport is. Because we all know that that is exactly what happened.

Kids who do sports when they are young learn the value of moving their bodies for the fun of it and it carries over into adulthood. Most people I know who didn't do any sports as kids are frumpy in their middle age. I'm guessing you're one of them. Have fun enjoying the health problems that come with being sedentary. I'm sure you'll lie here and say you exercise every day. I call BS.

Most of the people I know who have played sports are fat and walk with difficult because of old injuries.