Anonymous
Post 05/17/2022 11:36     Subject: Re:Rude comments by childfree friend
Anonymous wrote:I don't want a dog, but I don't feel the need to loudly observe to my dog-owning friends that I can't imagine having a dog because they smell, bark, need to be walked or sent to expensive doggy daycare, whatever. I just don't get a dog and I go about my life.

I don't understand why childfree people can't do that


Because you don't have a whole world constantly telling you that you are less than a full human being for not having a dog.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2022 11:35     Subject: Rude comments by childfree friend
Anonymous wrote:Let me preface this by saying I love this friend, and I don't want to ruin our friendship because I am very lonely. But she's continually making comments like "I am so glad I don't have kids" and "It must be so gross cleaning up a boy's toilet, I'm so glad I don't have to do that." I never even mentioned cleaning toilets! I never even complain about child-rearing, period. How do I respond to comments like these?


Honestly, she sounds insecure. I would just respond, “It’s not” or “I find it rewarding, actually.”

The kind of people who comment negatively on other people’s life choices are not secure people. She’s trying to justify her own life to herself, and that’s not your problem. I would find those comments grating. How would she feel if you said, “wow, you must be so lonely!” or something of that nature?
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2022 11:34     Subject: Re:Rude comments by childfree friend
I don't want a dog, but I don't feel the need to loudly observe to my dog-owning friends that I can't imagine having a dog because they smell, bark, need to be walked or sent to expensive doggy daycare, whatever. I just don't get a dog and I go about my life.

I don't understand why childfree people can't do that
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2022 11:33     Subject: Rude comments by childfree friend
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:To the posters questioning why child free posters are even on this forum: do you realize how frail and petty you sound?


It’s a legitimate question. This is the “general parenting discussion” board. It’s not even the travel board or real estate board. Wanting to know why someone with no kids would post here is not a big deal.

And you know the outcry if parents came in and started participating in a “child free discussion” board on a child free site would be HUGE.


It shows up in recent topics. Not many people, I'd wager, pay attention to what forum a topic happens to be in - you look for threads with clicky subject lines, and click. This one could easily have not gotten on many non-parents' radar if the subject line hadn't so clearly meant to stoke tension between people with kids and people without. Use a less trolly subject line next time if you want people not to jump in.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2022 11:19     Subject: Rude comments by childfree friend
Anonymous wrote:To the posters questioning why child free posters are even on this forum: do you realize how frail and petty you sound?


It’s a legitimate question. This is the “general parenting discussion” board. It’s not even the travel board or real estate board. Wanting to know why someone with no kids would post here is not a big deal.

And you know the outcry if parents came in and started participating in a “child free discussion” board on a child free site would be HUGE.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2022 11:16     Subject: Rude comments by childfree friend
To the posters questioning why child free posters are even on this forum: do you realize how frail and petty you sound?
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2022 11:11     Subject: Re:Rude comments by childfree friend
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm CFBC but I am surprised your friend would breathe a word about childrearing. You see, we childfree folks know better than to antagonize parents. Your friend is the exception and lacks EQ. Why not just tell her you find her comments rude? If she's a true friend, she'll apologize for hurting your feelings. If you were trying to get her to babysit, then yes, you will get rude comments from the childfree. Just be forewarned.


Serious question: I see a lot of child free people on this board… which is literally for parenting discussions. Why are you here?


NP with no kids - mostly to annoy you, but also to discuss clothes, travel, entertainment, work, and whatever the heck that cheese-brain Donald Trump and his idiot minions are doing.


But there are other forums for that on this same site. This is literally for general parenting discussion. But thanks for confirming that there are a lot of weird trolls around here.

Wouldn’t you find it weird if a bunch of parents hung out on a board for child-free people to “annoy” them?


You're a very literal person aren't you
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2022 11:08     Subject: Re:Rude comments by childfree friend
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm CFBC but I am surprised your friend would breathe a word about childrearing. You see, we childfree folks know better than to antagonize parents. Your friend is the exception and lacks EQ. Why not just tell her you find her comments rude? If she's a true friend, she'll apologize for hurting your feelings. If you were trying to get her to babysit, then yes, you will get rude comments from the childfree. Just be forewarned.


Serious question: I see a lot of child free people on this board… which is literally for parenting discussions. Why are you here?


See 01:27 just above you.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2022 11:07     Subject: Re:Rude comments by childfree friend
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm CFBC but I am surprised your friend would breathe a word about childrearing. You see, we childfree folks know better than to antagonize parents. Your friend is the exception and lacks EQ. Why not just tell her you find her comments rude? If she's a true friend, she'll apologize for hurting your feelings. If you were trying to get her to babysit, then yes, you will get rude comments from the childfree. Just be forewarned.


Serious question: I see a lot of child free people on this board… which is literally for parenting discussions. Why are you here?


NP, but this forum comes up in web searches. You click a thread, read it, see it's an anonymous message board with a bajillion forum categories, many of which have nothing to do with parenting.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2022 11:07     Subject: Re:Rude comments by childfree friend
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm CFBC but I am surprised your friend would breathe a word about childrearing. You see, we childfree folks know better than to antagonize parents. Your friend is the exception and lacks EQ. Why not just tell her you find her comments rude? If she's a true friend, she'll apologize for hurting your feelings. If you were trying to get her to babysit, then yes, you will get rude comments from the childfree. Just be forewarned.


Serious question: I see a lot of child free people on this board… which is literally for parenting discussions. Why are you here?


NP with no kids - mostly to annoy you, but also to discuss clothes, travel, entertainment, work, and whatever the heck that cheese-brain Donald Trump and his idiot minions are doing.


But there are other forums for that on this same site. This is literally for general parenting discussion. But thanks for confirming that there are a lot of weird trolls around here.

Wouldn’t you find it weird if a bunch of parents hung out on a board for child-free people to “annoy” them?
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2022 11:05     Subject: Re:Rude comments by childfree friend
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm CFBC but I am surprised your friend would breathe a word about childrearing. You see, we childfree folks know better than to antagonize parents. Your friend is the exception and lacks EQ. Why not just tell her you find her comments rude? If she's a true friend, she'll apologize for hurting your feelings. If you were trying to get her to babysit, then yes, you will get rude comments from the childfree. Just be forewarned.


Serious question: I see a lot of child free people on this board… which is literally for parenting discussions. Why are you here?


NP with no kids - mostly to annoy you, but also to discuss clothes, travel, entertainment, work, and whatever the heck that cheese-brain Donald Trump and his idiot minions are doing.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2022 10:59     Subject: Re:Rude comments by childfree friend
Anonymous wrote:I'm CFBC but I am surprised your friend would breathe a word about childrearing. You see, we childfree folks know better than to antagonize parents. Your friend is the exception and lacks EQ. Why not just tell her you find her comments rude? If she's a true friend, she'll apologize for hurting your feelings. If you were trying to get her to babysit, then yes, you will get rude comments from the childfree. Just be forewarned.


Serious question: I see a lot of child free people on this board… which is literally for parenting discussions. Why are you here?
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2022 01:27     Subject: Rude comments by childfree friend
More women need to talk to their childless (not yet had kids) friends about how hard motherhood is. It’s like you keep it a secret until your friend has a kid, then it’s too late for them for them to really know what it is. OP’s friend is just observant of things that OP should have said anyway. Maybe she was opening the door to conversation. My friends didnt mention any of their struggles until AFTER I kids, and mentioned it first.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2022 17:14     Subject: Rude comments by childfree friend
Anonymous wrote:I have four adult daughters. Two have kids, two don't. One definitely, absolutely, positively does not want them by choice; the other was always on the fence about the idea but it appears the choice has finally been made for her (putting aside adoption, etc).

None of them takes any offense at anything the other says about her choice. You can love kids and still not want any of your own, as my CFBC daughter is. She's the best aunt in the world and is also great with her friends' kids. You can also have your own kids and love them and still recognize that they are often a pain in the ass and make your life a lot more difficult and expensive than it otherwise would be.

If this forum were dominated by men you'd never see the kind of discussion going on in this thread. Why are women in general so nasty to and defensive and judgmental about each other's choices? It boggles the mind.


I don’t know, but perhaps the woman who posted immediately after you can answer. I have no idea why someone would come into the parenting threads and mock whining kids - its bizarre, and it doesn’t convey a mentality of a woman at peace with her choices.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2022 14:39     Subject: Rude comments by childfree friend
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Well then I guess it's a good thing you don't have kids!" or "Enh, it's fine, I get lots of snuggles and cute crafts to make up for it!"

She's probably trying to make herself feel better about her choice or inability to have children, OP. Have some empathy.


Yes, the person who's saying "I get lots of snuggles and cute crafts" is definitely not the one trying to make herself feel better.