An insane number of girls who speak out every year about their issues. An even more insane number relate those issues back to comments from family members -specifically their mothers.

If you all are parents and not trolls, and you truly think you are not f-ing up your kids, you are wrong. Hopefully you have a chance to reverse your behavior and thought process, and its impact on your daughters so I don’t have to one day listen to them on stage in front of hundreds of other women discussing the horrific damage you caused them.

My own mother was so bad my entire childhood - she had no idea the damage she was doing. And I didn't even have a tendency to be overweight even though I've always had a big appetite. I just wasn't built like her and she only likes skinny people. She's still like this. I lost a significant amount of weight in 2020/21 and she behaves very different towards me now than she did when I was a size 10.

During my own daughter's teen years, I don't think I even stepped on the scale a single time. I never said a word about my weight or size or her weight or size or food intake. It never came up and she has a healthy relationship with food and her body that took me decades to achieve.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I participate every year in a college speak out related to eating disorders, disordered eating generally, and body image.

An insane number of girls who speak out every year about their issues. An even more insane number relate those issues back to comments from family members -specifically their mothers.

If you all are parents and not trolls, and you truly think you are not f-ing up your kids, you are wrong. Hopefully you have a chance to reverse your behavior and thought process, and its impact on your daughters so I don’t have to one day listen to them on stage in front of hundreds of other women discussing the horrific damage you caused them.

This is such a breath of fresh air. Thank you.

And I don’t think they’re trolls.

A-freaking-men. I work out daily because I love it and eat a reasonably healthy diet because I enjoy it. I also enjoy eating sweets and do that plenty. I know that I could diet my way to losing 10 pounds or whatever, but I will be damned if my kids learn to hate their bodies because of me. So, instead I try to set the example of eating what I want, being of average size/build, exercising, and hopefully NOT obsessing over my size.

Y'all I am super skinny and a mom and I struggle everyday. I had PPD, I struggle with work/life stuff, I struggle knowing what the right thing to do as a parent is, I struggle with my marriage, I struggle with my relationship with my own parents, I even struggle with self-worth and feeling unattractive. I mean, I have good stuff in my life too and it's not like my life is some nightmare, but I really think you overestimate how great being skinny is.

Oh, and by the way, being skinny does not automatically mean having a flat stomach, not having cellulite, having great boobs or a perky butt, etc. Sometimes being skinny is just being skinny -- you wear a smaller size of clothes, the end.

I think many of you have fixated on this as a solution to something and it is not.

Anonymous wrote:I participate every year in a college speak out related to eating disorders, disordered eating generally, and body image.

An insane number of girls who speak out every year about their issues. An even more insane number relate those issues back to comments from family members -specifically their mothers.

If you all are parents and not trolls, and you truly think you are not f-ing up your kids, you are wrong. Hopefully you have a chance to reverse your behavior and thought process, and its impact on your daughters so I don’t have to one day listen to them on stage in front of hundreds of other women discussing the horrific damage you caused them.

This is such a breath of fresh air. Thank you.

And I don’t think they’re trolls.

I participate every year in a college speak out related to eating disorders, disordered eating generally, and body image.

An insane number of girls who speak out every year about their issues. An even more insane number relate those issues back to comments from family members -specifically their mothers.

If you all are parents and not trolls, and you truly think you are not f-ing up your kids, you are wrong. Hopefully you have a chance to reverse your behavior and thought process, and its impact on your daughters so I don’t have to one day listen to them on stage in front of hundreds of other women discussing the horrific damage you caused them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pics or it didn't happen for the 90% of DCUM that proclaims to be size 2

this is what i was thinking too.

Assume we are short if it makes you feel better (I’m 5’2)

No but I am skinny. I look jealously at people with bigger solid bones, however.

Anonymous wrote:TBH I’m much more intimidated by moms who seem to have their shit together regardless of how skinny, average, or fat they are.

Amen.

TBH I’m much more intimidated by moms who seem to have their shit together regardless of how skinny, average, or fat they are.

I’m skinny. Too skinny. 5’5 and 115. I am much healthier at 125. I’m a personal trainer and have been for over 30 years. I don’t exercise every day. I eat whatever and whenever I want. Still, I stay underweight. Some of it is genetics. Some of it is overall healthy eating. Some of it is exercise. Most of it is because I am constantly moving around. Im rarely still for more than a few minutes at a time. I burn a lot of calories cleaning my house, gardening, chasing grandkids, hiking, …..just daily stuff. Add my job - coaching, training, and teaching group exercise classes, of course it’s easy for me. If I worked at a desk all day I would almost certainly gain weight. Don’t assume all women who are skinny are starving themselves. I eat all day long and still don’t gain weight. The I even know my weight is because I’m trying to gain.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I’m jealous of the many women - moms in their 40s - in my social circle who essentially eat and drink what they want on the regular and maintain their low weight. Sizes 2 and 4s. Meanwhile I eat no more than 1500 calories (which I log) and regularly exercise and my BMI is high. I think people see women like me as dumpy failures. No matter what I achieve or who I am inside, people will ALWAYS see me as a fat person first.

Are you sure they are really eating and drinking whatever they want all the time? I am a size 2/4 and a casual observer might think I could eat whatever I wanted because I definitely indulge if I’m at brunch or dinner or whatever but the rest of the time I pay attention and generally eat super healthy - lots of veggies, not a lot of sugar or processed carbs but I don’t make a big thing of talking about watching my diet.

PP above hit it exactly. All the skinny skinny moms I know never take a day off from exercising, dont have sweets in their house, and eat grilled chicken or salmon with salads every day. They eat/indulge out because they want people to think that is how they are and that they dont work for it. Look at every celebrity---- Im born this way! I love cheeseburgers! I hate exercising!

This is the truth all friends married skinny women. They all eat pretty good and work out religiously. The workouts range from 2 mi everyday to 6 mile runs 3 times a week. They all lift weights, do yoga or work with a trainer of and on. A couple recently realized you can even build a butt with enough hip thrusters and abduction movements. I advise you all do the same thing. It's not difficult once you get into it and your quality of life will improve.

I don’t exercise or eat well and am tall and slim verging on thin (5’8 and 115). My secret is being very, very high strung.

Anonymous wrote:Pics or it didn't happen for the 90% of DCUM that proclaims to be size 2

this is what i was thinking too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No because I’m skinny

+1 I thought op was looking for advice or commiseration.

+1 I am skinny too.

+ 1 very very skinny. And I love the Lord.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I’m 5’5 and 115 pounds. Any thinner and I would look awful. I need to gain 10 pounds. I would be much healthier at 125.

+1
I'm super athletic and muscular, 5'4" and normally 115 lbs. I got down to 110 and my husband asked me to gain some weight, he said I looked emaciated. We were on vacation, which is very active for us, so I didn't realize I lost the weight. And I'm 45 and have 2 skinny athletic kids... I'm not stylish in the least so nothing to be jealous of except maybe genetics, which I'm not in control of anyway.

Good man. Once that butt starts to disappear it time for a talk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I’m jealous of the many women - moms in their 40s - in my social circle who essentially eat and drink what they want on the regular and maintain their low weight. Sizes 2 and 4s. Meanwhile I eat no more than 1500 calories (which I log) and regularly exercise and my BMI is high. I think people see women like me as dumpy failures. No matter what I achieve or who I am inside, people will ALWAYS see me as a fat person first.

Are you sure they are really eating and drinking whatever they want all the time? I am a size 2/4 and a casual observer might think I could eat whatever I wanted because I definitely indulge if I’m at brunch or dinner or whatever but the rest of the time I pay attention and generally eat super healthy - lots of veggies, not a lot of sugar or processed carbs but I don’t make a big thing of talking about watching my diet.

PP above hit it exactly. All the skinny skinny moms I know never take a day off from exercising, dont have sweets in their house, and eat grilled chicken or salmon with salads every day. They eat/indulge out because they want people to think that is how they are and that they dont work for it. Look at every celebrity---- Im born this way! I love cheeseburgers! I hate exercising!

This is the truth all friends married skinny women. They all eat pretty good and work out religiously. The workouts range from 2 mi everyday to 6 mile runs 3 times a week. They all lift weights, do yoga or work with a trainer of and on. A couple recently realized you can even build a butt with enough hip thrusters and abduction movements. I advise you all do the same thing. It's not difficult once you get into it and your quality of life will improve.