Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m uncomfortable with setting the expectation for my male kids that house cleaning is done by someone who is female and has more melanin and probably doesn’t speak English as a first language. We do it ourselves, which means it might be a while between cleaning if friends aren’t coming over. No, I’m not embarrassed.

Same here (although I’m uncomfortable with this for both female and male kids). I clean all the time, but it would probably still look a mess to someone who just dropped in. Don’t care. I think people should be responsible for their own messes.

Are you also uncomfortable with all the home maintenance being done by men? New roof, flooring, painting, plumbing, landscaping, etc. Just curious.... the door of equal opportunity swings both ways

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister is like this. She is bipolar. Her husband has severe autism.

And I bet they’re happy.

Anonymous wrote:my depression doesn’t allow me to fully clean

my ocd doesn’t allow for others to come clean


i’m trying ok

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone I know like this is because they are lazy slobs.

Actually, I find the opposite. It’s in cases where both parents have high flying careers. Any extra bandwidth is put to kid activities and spending time with the kids. Cleaning is the one thing that seems to go. They have cleaners but it can get a little crazy between visits because of the clutter.

Ding. Ding. Ding.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone I know like this is because they are lazy slobs.

Actually, I find the opposite. It’s in cases where both parents have high flying careers. Any extra bandwidth is put to kid activities and spending time with the kids. Cleaning is the one thing that seems to go. They have cleaners but it can get a little crazy between visits because of the clutter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Affluent person with a super messy house here.

The hassle of getting my house cleaned just outweighs the benefit of having a clean house for me. Cleaners may vacuum and mop and all that, but it's not their job to pick up clothes, dishes, empty cans/bottles, or know where to put back general clutter, so it's its own work getting the house ready for them to clean. My wife and I both work from home, so we have to be constantly moving while they go from room to room. Vacuum noise disrupts work meetings. We also have an aggressive dog so we have to figure out something to do with him while they're here.

It's just too much damn work for something that supposedly saves you work.

Most people see your “too much damn work” as the basic chores of daily life.

Anonymous wrote:Affluent person with a super messy house here.

The hassle of getting my house cleaned just outweighs the benefit of having a clean house for me. Cleaners may vacuum and mop and all that, but it's not their job to pick up clothes, dishes, empty cans/bottles, or know where to put back general clutter, so it's its own work getting the house ready for them to clean. My wife and I both work from home, so we have to be constantly moving while they go from room to room. Vacuum noise disrupts work meetings. We also have an aggressive dog so we have to figure out something to do with him while they're here.

It's just too much damn work for something that supposedly saves you work.

Anonymous wrote:My sister is like this. She is bipolar. Her husband has severe autism.

Anonymous wrote:The horsey casual rich people in Middleburg sound like people I’d like to know. Dog hair and gin? Yes please.

The germaphobe anal clenching strivers who bought the Restoration Hardware catalog dream? Not as much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s with these people? They could easily pay the 200-400 a month for a cleaning service but are too cheap and too lazy to clean themselves so they allow their houses to become disgusting and unkempt. Don’t they feel embarrassed?

Maybe they got robbed and lost sentimental jewelry or had items broken when letting people in so often.

Yeah this. We’ve had a bad experience with cleaners taking things so I haven’t hired any in years. Sometimes I miss having a spotless house but I have trust issues now, and we’re a family that really values privacy and the idea of a stranger coming in to all your private spaces kind of gets to me. So we have to deal with the mess and the time it takes to clean (a lot of the time I can’t be bothered to).

This.

Anonymous wrote:^^ and, I should add that they’re definitely not embarrassed. They couldn’t care less.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s with these people? They could easily pay the 200-400 a month for a cleaning service but are too cheap and too lazy to clean themselves so they allow their houses to become disgusting and unkempt. Don’t they feel embarrassed?

Maybe they got robbed and lost sentimental jewelry or had items broken when letting people in so often.

Yeah this. We’ve had a bad experience with cleaners taking things so I haven’t hired any in years. Sometimes I miss having a spotless house but I have trust issues now, and we’re a family that really values privacy and the idea of a stranger coming in to all your private spaces kind of gets to me. So we have to deal with the mess and the time it takes to clean (a lot of the time I can’t be bothered to).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m uncomfortable with setting the expectation for my male kids that house cleaning is done by someone who is female and has more melanin and probably doesn’t speak English as a first language. We do it ourselves, which means it might be a while between cleaning if friends aren’t coming over. No, I’m not embarrassed.

Check out care.com. My housekeeper doesn't fit this description.

(My house is still a mess sometimes between cleanings though...)

+1 Just treat your cleaners like fellow human beings who are performing a valuable service in exchange for fair compensation (and pay them fairly, of course). I say this as a white woman whose mother cleaned houses for a living. My kids know my house cleaner's names, we always talk to our cleaners like professionals and about them respectfully when they are not there. You are making this too complicated, and I don't think you are imparting the lessons you are intending to on your kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m uncomfortable with setting the expectation for my male kids that house cleaning is done by someone who is female and has more melanin and probably doesn’t speak English as a first language. We do it ourselves, which means it might be a while between cleaning if friends aren’t coming over. No, I’m not embarrassed.

Check out care.com. My housekeeper doesn't fit this description.

(My house is still a mess sometimes between cleanings though...)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Affluent person with a super messy house here.

The hassle of getting my house cleaned just outweighs the benefit of having a clean house for me. Cleaners may vacuum and mop and all that, but it's not their job to pick up clothes, dishes, empty cans/bottles, or know where to put back general clutter, so it's its own work getting the house ready for them to clean. My wife and I both work from home, so we have to be constantly moving while they go from room to room. Vacuum noise disrupts work meetings. We also have an aggressive dog so we have to figure out something to do with him while they're here.

It's just too much damn work for something that supposedly saves you work.

Most people see your “too much damn work” as the basic chores of daily life.

If that's how most people want to spend their time, more power to them. I'd rather have more free time than a cleaner house.