Anonymous
Post 11/08/2025 08:10     Subject: Does your mother comment on everyone's looks?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is just that these women are shallow and intellectually limited. If someone starts out that way they frequently end up that way. It's not about age, it's about inherent limitations.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this because I'd find it immensely boring. It could be worse though. She doesn't sound like a bigot.


The reality is that men select wives based on looks. Therefore it is quite rational for women to focus significant energy on appearances.


It's always been this way and educated men also want educated women. IOW the whole package.
Watching the 'love your body/stop the fat shaming' generation be fat, not get dates and be miserable is pitiful. Until they found GLP1s.


Well to an extent yes, but do they want educated ugly fat women or educated pretty women?

We all if they had to pick between an educated intelligent ugly woman and a pretty average women, they would pick looks every time.


True but true for me, too. I wouldn't have noticed DH if he wasn't good looking and reasonably fit.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2025 07:51     Subject: Does your mother comment on everyone's looks?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is just that these women are shallow and intellectually limited. If someone starts out that way they frequently end up that way. It's not about age, it's about inherent limitations.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this because I'd find it immensely boring. It could be worse though. She doesn't sound like a bigot.


The reality is that men select wives based on looks. Therefore it is quite rational for women to focus significant energy on appearances.


It's always been this way and educated men also want educated women. IOW the whole package.
Watching the 'love your body/stop the fat shaming' generation be fat, not get dates and be miserable is pitiful. Until they found GLP1s.


Well to an extent yes, but do they want educated ugly fat women or educated pretty women?

We all if they had to pick between an educated intelligent ugly woman and a pretty average women, they would pick looks every time.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2025 07:36     Subject: Does your mother comment on everyone's looks?
Anonymous wrote:My mother is early 80s now-always obsessed with other people's looks and her own. She was blessed with beauty on the outside and that is why she was able to have friends-people assume things about those who are attractive and want to be around them. Now her looks have faded so much, and people don't want to be around her because she cannot censor her ugly side as much. She still obsesses about other people's looks and is full of bitterness she no longer gets attention for hers.


This is like my 90s mother, still vain with a distorted ageist lens. She comments on how Old people look, but never her. I tell her she must have found the fountain of youth, which she believes. Like a film star ready for her close up, sad really if she wasn’t so mean
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2025 07:01     Subject: Does your mother comment on everyone's looks?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is just that these women are shallow and intellectually limited. If someone starts out that way they frequently end up that way. It's not about age, it's about inherent limitations.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this because I'd find it immensely boring. It could be worse though. She doesn't sound like a bigot.


The reality is that men select wives based on looks. Therefore it is quite rational for women to focus significant energy on appearances.


It's always been this way and educated men also want educated women. IOW the whole package.
Watching the 'love your body/stop the fat shaming' generation be fat, not get dates and be miserable is pitiful. Until they found GLP1s.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2025 18:19     Subject: Does your mother comment on everyone's looks?
My mother is early 80s now-always obsessed with other people's looks and her own. She was blessed with beauty on the outside and that is why she was able to have friends-people assume things about those who are attractive and want to be around them. Now her looks have faded so much, and people don't want to be around her because she cannot censor her ugly side as much. She still obsesses about other people's looks and is full of bitterness she no longer gets attention for hers.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2025 10:05     Subject: Does your mother comment on everyone's looks?
My mom doesn't but my MIL does and I hate it.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2025 09:28     Subject: Does your mother comment on everyone's looks?
Yes, mine has always done this and still does. Mid 70's
Anonymous
Post 11/06/2025 22:20     Subject: Does your mother comment on everyone's looks?
My mom did this too, but only on people she thought were ugly, fat, or not successful. And they were none of those things. Sad, really.
Anonymous
Post 11/06/2025 22:19     Subject: Does your mother comment on everyone's looks?
Yes, she’s 85. She’s not as bad as she use to be. I remember she would make comments when someone was on a cane. Guess who is on one now? She is.
Anonymous
Post 11/06/2025 22:16     Subject: Does your mother comment on everyone's looks?
My mother every single time I saw her.

Same with my sister.

She also told everyone she knew I was fat time and time again.

15 years ago I stopped speaking to her.

She died a month ago no loss for me.
Anonymous
Post 11/06/2025 21:38     Subject: Re:Does your mother comment on everyone's looks?
Anonymous wrote:Yes, same age. The worst part is she is always right.


Is she? Our value as humans is only in our appearance?
Anonymous
Post 11/06/2025 21:36     Subject: Does your mother comment on everyone's looks?
Anonymous wrote:My whole life my mother has been very into keeping up appearances and has always commented on the looks of my friends. I realize as an adult this is sort of creepy. Now I will mention an old friend and she will say "Ah yes, I recall she was a great beauty" or "That one was such a mess." She will sometimes go into great deal about the beauty of people she knows almost like an author describing it. She doesn't do this with men, just women, usually women the age of her kids. She also would comment "she had such a cute figure!" or "she's built like a shit brickhouse." I have asked her not to comment on people's looks and it is so ingrained she just snaps back at me. Wondering if this is common for that generation. She is in her late 70s.


Yes, and she is a narcissist. Most likely your mom is too.
Anonymous
Post 11/06/2025 21:29     Subject: Does your mother comment on everyone's looks?
Yes
Anonymous
Post 11/06/2025 21:28     Subject: Re:Does your mother comment on everyone's looks?
Anonymous wrote:

My MIL deemed me a "prize" for her son not due to my degrees or job or the fact that I'm a trained classical singer, but because I was a size 0 on my wedding day and a "face of an angel". She also was an accomplished engineer herself- it is an absolute shame


Classical singer is pretty awesome.
Anonymous
Post 11/06/2025 20:08     Subject: Re:Does your mother comment on everyone's looks?


My MIL deemed me a "prize" for her son not due to my degrees or job or the fact that I'm a trained classical singer, but because I was a size 0 on my wedding day and a "face of an angel". She also was an accomplished engineer herself- it is an absolute shame