"You're lucky that you're pleasant."

Anonymous wrote:You speak English so well!

This, so many times.

Reminds me, not whatever that was.

Anonymous wrote:You went to X college?! Wow, how did you get in?

Remember nds me of "I'm surprised that you could do all the math necessary for this report."

I agree that both of these are outright insults.

I made partner in my former law firm in an untraditional route that took more time. Years later, the firm was about to promote another lawyer who also didn’t progress in the usual way. I told the head of the partnership committee that I thought it was great. The response was “I’m not so sure. Unlike you, he doesn’t know his limitations.”

“I’m going to give you this additional crappy assignment because you’re so efficient.” Like thanks?

Anonymous wrote:You went to X college?! Wow, how did you get in?

This is not a condescending compliment. It’s a flat out insult.

After I received an award from another division, my supervisor said, "Glad you finally found a group that appreciates your work."

Same supervisor managed to alienate most of the agency staff and they only reached out for limited, mandatory assistance.

You went to X college?! Wow, how did you get in?

“He’s gone a long way on half a tank of gas.”

So many

I can't remember the exact quote, but someone found out how old I am and said something like, "wow, I always wondered how such a young person was so accomplished, but now I realize you're much older than I thought."

Thanks for thinking I was a dumb kid, I guess? Telling someone in a professional setting that they look younger than they are is not a compliment. It makes it seem like you think they're immature.

Yah, I have a baby face. I look young. But As a mid-40s PhD with 25 years of work experience and 15 years of executive experience, it pisses me off.

Enter the all-black clothing and "maternal" hairstyle. Now I always try to work in subtle comments about GenX, or things I did in the 90s, or the shows I watched in the 80s, or whatever, in a very casual way, so that people understand I am older. I mentioned 'zines to a group of college kids and felt positively ancient. Loved it.

I had a really terrible, competitive boss a few years ago. She came back from a meeting with her boss and relayed some praise he was giving me for high-profile project I had completed. After my boss relayed this to me she said, "And I told him, 'Well, she wasn't the top choice of the hiring committee, but *I* knew she was the right person for the job.'" I left a few months later.

I lead a large team at my company -- about 1/3 of all employees report to me. My team is all behind-the-scenes operations types without whom our business could not function. But because they are not in a lot of meetings, higher ups forget that they exist. Recently a C-suite executive at our parent company, who regularly ignores me, said that they had been reviewing the org chart and were surprised: "I guess you are actually pretty important."

Anonymous wrote:The document I prepared was “surprisingly well written” from someone I barely know, so not sure what the comment was about exactly.

It's possible that similar documents they read from others are not well written.