Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here- 1st text I got back from him : ‘So Sorry again about last night, hope you have a wonderful day ‘ :-!

That is actually a very nice text—and if you don’t see this then you’re a moron. Personally I think he should find somebody better than you because you are way too high maintenance.

You don't think it's odd that he isn't suggesting a makeup date?

No, I don’t. He probably will give him a minute. I would expect the next text to say can we have a date when he knows when he can do it he might not know when he can do it right now it’s only been one day! This is seriously why men think women are crazy because they overthink. I am a mid-40s woman. Guy sounds like a super nice guy he’s apologize twice already and he still can’t get it right with people who are so high means that it’s ridiculous give him a chance to plan another date before he asks for another date! Jeez! I really think this guy find somebody better suited to him because OP is ridiculous and he sounds very respectful and nice from what I’ve seen in these texts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how I feel about this. 3rd date, we were supposed to go to the movies, 10 minutes before he was supposed to pick me up , I get this. This is after him texting me an hour prior reminding me to get ready so we wouldn’t be late. He told me before that his ex was a nurse, I know emergencies can happen and its tricky with kids, but I know men lie as well, so part of me is pissed that I got ready for nothing and also wondering if it’s just an excuse!

‘I have some bad news 😔 my ex got called in for an emergency at work and I gotta grab the kids. I’m so sorry! If you can get a refund on the tickets let me know. If not I will pay you for the tickets!! I feel so bad I’m sorry!’

I would take this at face value for what it is. If it happens again, there’s a possibility his ex is deliberately interfering in his dating life, but that would be really unusual. But this doesn’t sound like flaking to me.

I agree that it may not be flaking, but how the guy went about it shows he's got no respect for OP. O should put him on the backburner, go on dates with other guys, if she's still interested in him, and he asks her out and she's availbale by all means go on another date, but don't sit around waiting for him, or make him her only option.

This is not an example of him putting OP on the back burner at all.

Anonymous wrote:10 minutes beforehand? Sounds like he's married and thought he could get away but his plan went south so he bailed on you.

Anonymous wrote:This is a great reminder to me why I will never seriously date while my kids are in the house. No offense but my girlfriend comes last and way, way behind my kids. I would bail out my ex in a moment so I could spend time with kids.

I can't believe this is controversial

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Anonymous wrote:NP here. My take on this is that it isn’t the cancellation that’s the problem, it’s how he handled it. Think about it, if the situation were reversed and you had to cancel a third date with someone who’d purchased tickets and was half way out the door en route to the date, what would you do? Most likely, in addition to a text you would:

1. Call them on the phone to ensure they know what’s going on and express your sincere apology/ concern for bailing at the last minute;

2. Make a serious offer to make it up to them with an even more terrific date when you do get to see them; and

3. Follow through on Item 2.

If you don’t really care all that much about developing a relationship with this person, then perhaps these things don’t matter much. But I think they do matter if you are hoping the relationship will be heading somewhere.

+1 This guy did none of those things. OP should move on.

Yep the guy messed up. He should have just ghosted.

Bingo. And the PP defending the OP is batshit too. They are perfect examples of the crazies in the dating pool here.

I didn’t say the guy “messed up.” I aminficeying that his behavior when canceling indicates he’s not into it. That’s all. Get the chip off your shoulder.

^*I am saying*

Yes I know. In this situation the man should have ghosted this woman because she is crazy. And sounds like he’s not interested in a third date. As it should be! Good for him!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. My take on this is that it isn’t the cancellation that’s the problem, it’s how he handled it. Think about it, if the situation were reversed and you had to cancel a third date with someone who’d purchased tickets and was half way out the door en route to the date, what would you do? Most likely, in addition to a text you would:

1. Call them on the phone to ensure they know what’s going on and express your sincere apology/ concern for bailing at the last minute;

2. Make a serious offer to make it up to them with an even more terrific date when you do get to see them; and

3. Follow through on Item 2.

If you don’t really care all that much about developing a relationship with this person, then perhaps these things don’t matter much. But I think they do matter if you are hoping the relationship will be heading somewhere.

+1 This guy did none of those things. OP should move on.

Yep the guy messed up. He should have just ghosted.

Bingo. And the PP defending the OP is batshit too. They are perfect examples of the crazies in the dating pool here.

I didn’t say the guy “messed up.” I aminficeying that his behavior when canceling indicates he’s not into it. That’s all. Get the chip off your shoulder.

^*I am saying*

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. My take on this is that it isn’t the cancellation that’s the problem, it’s how he handled it. Think about it, if the situation were reversed and you had to cancel a third date with someone who’d purchased tickets and was half way out the door en route to the date, what would you do? Most likely, in addition to a text you would:

1. Call them on the phone to ensure they know what’s going on and express your sincere apology/ concern for bailing at the last minute;

2. Make a serious offer to make it up to them with an even more terrific date when you do get to see them; and

3. Follow through on Item 2.

If you don’t really care all that much about developing a relationship with this person, then perhaps these things don’t matter much. But I think they do matter if you are hoping the relationship will be heading somewhere.

+1

Sending a text instead of phoning was cowardly. He knew this. It makes me tend to disbelieve him about his excuse. Sending a last minute text the OP might not have gotten until she was actually at the destination is a nasty thing to do. 10 minutes before she left the house means she could easily have already been driving.

And I don't like his suggestion that he will pay for the tickets unless OP "can get a refund", and she should "let me know." A. He should have just offered to pay for the tickets, without the implication that OP needs to jump through the hoops of trying to get a last minute refund. The "let me know" part irritates me a lot. This makes it sound as if the guy doesn't plan to call OP to check in after he backed out of their date, but that he'll wait to hear from her about whether she wants him to pay for the tickets.

This has nothing to do with him being a good dad. He could have phoned OP to cancel the date and assure her that of course he would pay for the tickets, then called her back after his kids were in bed to apologize and give plans for their next date.

This guy doesn't care. I don't think OP should text him back.

Thank you ! All of this.