Anonymous wrote:The Facebook analytics showed Larson was clicking on and reading every post. A mutual acquaintance told Dorland that Larson had read a story about kidney donation and that he’s assumed it was about or inspired by Dorland. The entire time, Larson said nothing, and lied for years to Dorland.

I'm in agreement with people on this thread that what Larson did was super sketchy and gross and that she is trying to cover it up now by claiming "Art" and trying to say Dorland has white savior complex (which we hav evidence that she does).

But we take a moment to acknowledge that yet again, Facebook is a major part of the problem. It's actually not great that Dorland was able to see that Larson was viewing posts in the group, because that led her to wonder why she was reading them and not commenting. Which led Dorland to reach out to Larson to basically say "Hey, how come you aren't commenting on my Facebook posts?" Which, yes, seems totally insane on its face. But now that I know that she was motivated by the fact that she could see Larson was reading the posts, it doesn't sound as crazy to me. She still shouldn't have reached out to ask about it, and she should have recognized that it would come off as weird. But I've been in that situation before with Facebook -- noticing that a friend always likes all our mutual friend's posts but never likes mine. I would never call someone out on it, but it's one of those things where you think "It would be super great to not have to see or notice this, so that I wouldn't have to suspect that this person maybe doesn't like me very much." It sucks to have that thought planted in your mind.

And Facebook/Instagram have so many features like this. It's actively bad for interpersonal relationships. It would be a lot easier if we were all more in the dark about how other people feel about us. I sure as hell do not want to know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of what I don't understand here - we're supposed to mock Dawn for donating a kidney then talking about it?!

The kidney donors I know talk about it both because they are proud and also to try to raise awareness and encourage others to do it. Was she supposed to donate the kidney and then... not talk about it?

I've seen so many cruel tweets and comments about this suggesting that somehow her kidney donation - a selfless thing to do - was BAD, and I am just struck by this insane up is down judgment.

She was supposed to do it in a twitter mob approved way, right hashtags and all. Otherwise she might make someone uncomfortable.

It's one thing to donate a kidney and talk about it and raise awareness. It is quite another thing to add people to your FB group, then email them because they hadn't commented. And it is not ok to go to a conference and say. "No one asked about my missing kidney!"

That said, Larson is also terrible. As are her writer friends.

Interesting. So you’ve never been part of a Caring Bridge? I think people are uncomfortable that Dawn picked up on the fact that something odd was going on and wasn’t afraid to confront people about it. Because it wasn’t just the lack of likes or comments that bothered Dawn - it was the fact that Larsen was reading her posts and not bothering to comment. She had a gut instinct that something was up and she wasn’t wrong. Larsen was reading, not engaging and simultaneously mocking her. She could have simply removed herself from the group or hidden it so she didn’t see updates. But she didn’t do that. She read what was posted and then took it back to her friends to trash Dawn. That is sick. The fact so many are uncomfortable that someone had the audacity to (albeit awkwardly) call them out tells you a lot.

Exactly. The fact that she was reading these posts but never commented or liked anything, then pretended like she didn’t know is so shitty

What? Not to harp on what's a minor point in a much larger story, but now reading FB posts and not commenting or liking is considered rude? I read lots of things on FB and do not comment on or like them. I don't like doing that on FB, and I don't think I'm obligated to. Maybe I'll bring it up with you later, maybe I won't. If you voluntarily put it out on FB, you don't get to demand that people react to it in a certain way. I would find it very creepy and self-absorbed if someone messaged me directly to ask me why I hadn't commented on their post.

And I thought you couldn't see who read your stuff on FB anyway, is that wrong?

She was reading them then pretending not to have read them.

It was weird, needy, and awkward for Dawn to have asked about it. I'm sure it felt intrusive to be asked. And at the same time that jerk actually WAS reading, paying attention, stealing, and mocking - mocking a kidney donation FB page! - and so as awkward as Dawn was, she was also right.

The Facebook analytics showed Larson was clicking on and reading every post. A mutual acquaintance told Dorland that Larson had read a story about kidney donation and that he’s assumed it was about or inspired by Dorland. The entire time, Larson said nothing, and lied for years to Dorland.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of what I don't understand here - we're supposed to mock Dawn for donating a kidney then talking about it?!

The kidney donors I know talk about it both because they are proud and also to try to raise awareness and encourage others to do it. Was she supposed to donate the kidney and then... not talk about it?

I've seen so many cruel tweets and comments about this suggesting that somehow her kidney donation - a selfless thing to do - was BAD, and I am just struck by this insane up is down judgment.

She was supposed to do it in a twitter mob approved way, right hashtags and all. Otherwise she might make someone uncomfortable.

It's one thing to donate a kidney and talk about it and raise awareness. It is quite another thing to add people to your FB group, then email them because they hadn't commented. And it is not ok to go to a conference and say. "No one asked about my missing kidney!"

That said, Larson is also terrible. As are her writer friends.

Interesting. So you’ve never been part of a Caring Bridge? I think people are uncomfortable that Dawn picked up on the fact that something odd was going on and wasn’t afraid to confront people about it. Because it wasn’t just the lack of likes or comments that bothered Dawn - it was the fact that Larsen was reading her posts and not bothering to comment. She had a gut instinct that something was up and she wasn’t wrong. Larsen was reading, not engaging and simultaneously mocking her. She could have simply removed herself from the group or hidden it so she didn’t see updates. But she didn’t do that. She read what was posted and then took it back to her friends to trash Dawn. That is sick. The fact so many are uncomfortable that someone had the audacity to (albeit awkwardly) call them out tells you a lot.

Exactly. The fact that she was reading these posts but never commented or liked anything, then pretended like she didn’t know is so shitty

What? Not to harp on what's a minor point in a much larger story, but now reading FB posts and not commenting or liking is considered rude? I read lots of things on FB and do not comment on or like them. I don't like doing that on FB, and I don't think I'm obligated to. Maybe I'll bring it up with you later, maybe I won't. If you voluntarily put it out on FB, you don't get to demand that people react to it in a certain way. I would find it very creepy and self-absorbed if someone messaged me directly to ask me why I hadn't commented on their post.

And I thought you couldn't see who read your stuff on FB anyway, is that wrong?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of what I don't understand here - we're supposed to mock Dawn for donating a kidney then talking about it?!

The kidney donors I know talk about it both because they are proud and also to try to raise awareness and encourage others to do it. Was she supposed to donate the kidney and then... not talk about it?

I've seen so many cruel tweets and comments about this suggesting that somehow her kidney donation - a selfless thing to do - was BAD, and I am just struck by this insane up is down judgment.

She was supposed to do it in a twitter mob approved way, right hashtags and all. Otherwise she might make someone uncomfortable.

It's one thing to donate a kidney and talk about it and raise awareness. It is quite another thing to add people to your FB group, then email them because they hadn't commented. And it is not ok to go to a conference and say. "No one asked about my missing kidney!"

That said, Larson is also terrible. As are her writer friends.

How ok is it to lurk in the group, as opposed to muting the FB page so you see nothing for a month and then leaving the group, in order to access every post about the donation, and then to copy things verbatim and publish them verbatim into a story? Is it more okay to then lie about all of that? Because that’s what Larson did. Apart from the legal question, she’s an absolute dirtbag.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of what I don't understand here - we're supposed to mock Dawn for donating a kidney then talking about it?!

The kidney donors I know talk about it both because they are proud and also to try to raise awareness and encourage others to do it. Was she supposed to donate the kidney and then... not talk about it?

I've seen so many cruel tweets and comments about this suggesting that somehow her kidney donation - a selfless thing to do - was BAD, and I am just struck by this insane up is down judgment.

She was supposed to do it in a twitter mob approved way, right hashtags and all. Otherwise she might make someone uncomfortable.

It's one thing to donate a kidney and talk about it and raise awareness. It is quite another thing to add people to your FB group, then email them because they hadn't commented. And it is not ok to go to a conference and say. "No one asked about my missing kidney!"

That said, Larson is also terrible. As are her writer friends.

Interesting. So you’ve never been part of a Caring Bridge? I think people are uncomfortable that Dawn picked up on the fact that something odd was going on and wasn’t afraid to confront people about it. Because it wasn’t just the lack of likes or comments that bothered Dawn - it was the fact that Larsen was reading her posts and not bothering to comment. She had a gut instinct that something was up and she wasn’t wrong. Larsen was reading, not engaging and simultaneously mocking her. She could have simply removed herself from the group or hidden it so she didn’t see updates. But she didn’t do that. She read what was posted and then took it back to her friends to trash Dawn. That is sick. The fact so many are uncomfortable that someone had the audacity to (albeit awkwardly) call them out tells you a lot.

Yes! Yes, that is totally it. When you get that sneaking suspicion something is wrong, and people keep insisting you're crazy and wrong - that is gaslighting. And it drives people crazy to be gaslighted - that is the whole POINT of gaslighting.

And good for Dawn for standing up to herself against these mean girl bullies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of what I don't understand here - we're supposed to mock Dawn for donating a kidney then talking about it?!

The kidney donors I know talk about it both because they are proud and also to try to raise awareness and encourage others to do it. Was she supposed to donate the kidney and then... not talk about it?

I've seen so many cruel tweets and comments about this suggesting that somehow her kidney donation - a selfless thing to do - was BAD, and I am just struck by this insane up is down judgment.

She was supposed to do it in a twitter mob approved way, right hashtags and all. Otherwise she might make someone uncomfortable.

It's one thing to donate a kidney and talk about it and raise awareness. It is quite another thing to add people to your FB group, then email them because they hadn't commented. And it is not ok to go to a conference and say. "No one asked about my missing kidney!"

That said, Larson is also terrible. As are her writer friends.

But really, if you donated a kidney you wouldn't expect people to ask you about it? I definitely would! And I am not some entitled "look at me" sort of person. Especially if I thought they were friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of what I don't understand here - we're supposed to mock Dawn for donating a kidney then talking about it?!

The kidney donors I know talk about it both because they are proud and also to try to raise awareness and encourage others to do it. Was she supposed to donate the kidney and then... not talk about it?

I've seen so many cruel tweets and comments about this suggesting that somehow her kidney donation - a selfless thing to do - was BAD, and I am just struck by this insane up is down judgment.

She was supposed to do it in a twitter mob approved way, right hashtags and all. Otherwise she might make someone uncomfortable.

It's one thing to donate a kidney and talk about it and raise awareness. It is quite another thing to add people to your FB group, then email them because they hadn't commented. And it is not ok to go to a conference and say. "No one asked about my missing kidney!"

That said, Larson is also terrible. As are her writer friends.

Interesting. So you’ve never been part of a Caring Bridge? I think people are uncomfortable that Dawn picked up on the fact that something odd was going on and wasn’t afraid to confront people about it. Because it wasn’t just the lack of likes or comments that bothered Dawn - it was the fact that Larsen was reading her posts and not bothering to comment. She had a gut instinct that something was up and she wasn’t wrong. Larsen was reading, not engaging and simultaneously mocking her. She could have simply removed herself from the group or hidden it so she didn’t see updates. But she didn’t do that. She read what was posted and then took it back to her friends to trash Dawn. That is sick. The fact so many are uncomfortable that someone had the audacity to (albeit awkwardly) call them out tells you a lot.

Exactly. The fact that she was reading these posts but never commented or liked anything, then pretended like she didn’t know is so shitty

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of what I don't understand here - we're supposed to mock Dawn for donating a kidney then talking about it?!

The kidney donors I know talk about it both because they are proud and also to try to raise awareness and encourage others to do it. Was she supposed to donate the kidney and then... not talk about it?

I've seen so many cruel tweets and comments about this suggesting that somehow her kidney donation - a selfless thing to do - was BAD, and I am just struck by this insane up is down judgment.

She was supposed to do it in a twitter mob approved way, right hashtags and all. Otherwise she might make someone uncomfortable.

It's one thing to donate a kidney and talk about it and raise awareness. It is quite another thing to add people to your FB group, then email them because they hadn't commented. And it is not ok to go to a conference and say. "No one asked about my missing kidney!"

That said, Larson is also terrible. As are her writer friends.

Interesting. So you’ve never been part of a Caring Bridge? I think people are uncomfortable that Dawn picked up on the fact that something odd was going on and wasn’t afraid to confront people about it. Because it wasn’t just the lack of likes or comments that bothered Dawn - it was the fact that Larsen was reading her posts and not bothering to comment. She had a gut instinct that something was up and she wasn’t wrong. Larsen was reading, not engaging and simultaneously mocking her. She could have simply removed herself from the group or hidden it so she didn’t see updates. But she didn’t do that. She read what was posted and then took it back to her friends to trash Dawn. That is sick. The fact so many are uncomfortable that someone had the audacity to (albeit awkwardly) call them out tells you a lot.

Yeah, I am with you on this. She said she could see from the Facebook app that Larsen was reading every single post but was never commenting, and could see that something weird was going on with the Grub Street people in the group. And we know from the group texts that the first draft of Larson's story -- which got circulated to the Chunky Monkey people within the Grub Street group -- was nothing but an all out hit piced on Dorland, with no nuance on race or privilege, just total mean girl trash:

“The first draft of the story really was a takedown of Dawn, wasn’t it?” Calvin Hennick wrote. “But Sonya didn’t publish that draft. … She created a new, better story that used Dawn’s Facebook messages as initial inspiration, but that was about a lot of big things, instead of being about the small thing of taking down Dawn Dorland.”

Larson circulated that to her writer friends, many of whom were in Dorland's Facebook group. It was art not Art, and it was also a total mean girl move: Dawn thinks her pink sweater is fashion but it is total last season trash! Just in story form. It's such gross behavior, and so many people are defending it because Art. But she didn't do it because Art. She initially wrote it as a takedown, complete with the letter language to put it all in context and make sure her friends knew who it was about and how they should read that letter.

And in response to the PP above saying they think the kidney recipient is thrilled not to have Dorland's attention on him, eh, I have read more than one twitter comments from people who received a kidney who are like "I don't care if this woman wants one million likes I am just grateful to have a kidney" so I don't think that's the right take.

This is all perfectly put.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of what I don't understand here - we're supposed to mock Dawn for donating a kidney then talking about it?!

The kidney donors I know talk about it both because they are proud and also to try to raise awareness and encourage others to do it. Was she supposed to donate the kidney and then... not talk about it?

I've seen so many cruel tweets and comments about this suggesting that somehow her kidney donation - a selfless thing to do - was BAD, and I am just struck by this insane up is down judgment.

She was supposed to do it in a twitter mob approved way, right hashtags and all. Otherwise she might make someone uncomfortable.

It's one thing to donate a kidney and talk about it and raise awareness. It is quite another thing to add people to your FB group, then email them because they hadn't commented. And it is not ok to go to a conference and say. "No one asked about my missing kidney!"

That said, Larson is also terrible. As are her writer friends.

I am really sorry that her way of saving someone's life wasn't up to your standards. I think you shoukd step in and show everyone how it's done.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of what I don't understand here - we're supposed to mock Dawn for donating a kidney then talking about it?!

The kidney donors I know talk about it both because they are proud and also to try to raise awareness and encourage others to do it. Was she supposed to donate the kidney and then... not talk about it?

I've seen so many cruel tweets and comments about this suggesting that somehow her kidney donation - a selfless thing to do - was BAD, and I am just struck by this insane up is down judgment.

She was supposed to do it in a twitter mob approved way, right hashtags and all. Otherwise she might make someone uncomfortable.

It's one thing to donate a kidney and talk about it and raise awareness. It is quite another thing to add people to your FB group, then email them because they hadn't commented. And it is not ok to go to a conference and say. "No one asked about my missing kidney!"

That said, Larson is also terrible. As are her writer friends.

Interesting. So you’ve never been part of a Caring Bridge? I think people are uncomfortable that Dawn picked up on the fact that something odd was going on and wasn’t afraid to confront people about it. Because it wasn’t just the lack of likes or comments that bothered Dawn - it was the fact that Larsen was reading her posts and not bothering to comment. She had a gut instinct that something was up and she wasn’t wrong. Larsen was reading, not engaging and simultaneously mocking her. She could have simply removed herself from the group or hidden it so she didn’t see updates. But she didn’t do that. She read what was posted and then took it back to her friends to trash Dawn. That is sick. The fact so many are uncomfortable that someone had the audacity to (albeit awkwardly) call them out tells you a lot.

Yeah, I am with you on this. She said she could see from the Facebook app that Larsen was reading every single post but was never commenting, and could see that something weird was going on with the Grub Street people in the group. And we know from the group texts that the first draft of Larson's story -- which got circulated to the Chunky Monkey people within the Grub Street group -- was nothing but an all out hit piced on Dorland, with no nuance on race or privilege, just total mean girl trash:

“The first draft of the story really was a takedown of Dawn, wasn’t it?” Calvin Hennick wrote. “But Sonya didn’t publish that draft. … She created a new, better story that used Dawn’s Facebook messages as initial inspiration, but that was about a lot of big things, instead of being about the small thing of taking down Dawn Dorland.”

Larson circulated that to her writer friends, many of whom were in Dorland's Facebook group. It was art not Art, and it was also a total mean girl move: Dawn thinks her pink sweater is fashion but it is total last season trash! Just in story form. It's such gross behavior, and so many people are defending it because Art. But she didn't do it because Art. She initially wrote it as a takedown, complete with the letter language to put it all in context and make sure her friends knew who it was about and how they should read that letter.

And in response to the PP above saying they think the kidney recipient is thrilled not to have Dorland's attention on him, eh, I have read more than one twitter comments from people who received a kidney who are like "I don't care if this woman wants one million likes I am just grateful to have a kidney" so I don't think that's the right take.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of what I don't understand here - we're supposed to mock Dawn for donating a kidney then talking about it?!

The kidney donors I know talk about it both because they are proud and also to try to raise awareness and encourage others to do it. Was she supposed to donate the kidney and then... not talk about it?

I've seen so many cruel tweets and comments about this suggesting that somehow her kidney donation - a selfless thing to do - was BAD, and I am just struck by this insane up is down judgment.

She was supposed to do it in a twitter mob approved way, right hashtags and all. Otherwise she might make someone uncomfortable.

It's one thing to donate a kidney and talk about it and raise awareness. It is quite another thing to add people to your FB group, then email them because they hadn't commented. And it is not ok to go to a conference and say. "No one asked about my missing kidney!"

That said, Larson is also terrible. As are her writer friends.

Interesting. So you’ve never been part of a Caring Bridge? I think people are uncomfortable that Dawn picked up on the fact that something odd was going on and wasn’t afraid to confront people about it. Because it wasn’t just the lack of likes or comments that bothered Dawn - it was the fact that Larsen was reading her posts and not bothering to comment. She had a gut instinct that something was up and she wasn’t wrong. Larsen was reading, not engaging and simultaneously mocking her. She could have simply removed herself from the group or hidden it so she didn’t see updates. But she didn’t do that. She read what was posted and then took it back to her friends to trash Dawn. That is sick. The fact so many are uncomfortable that someone had the audacity to (albeit awkwardly) call them out tells you a lot.

Anonymous wrote:I was an English major at an Ivy that produces these writer types and words cannot express how insufferable they are. Reading this just gave me PTSD.

There’s no reasonable explanation for why she used the letter. And it’s weak writing. The other lady is insane though. And even though I also don’t like Larson she is spot on that she has a white savior complex.

I know one thing though. The man she donated the kidney to is probably stoked that she’s obsessed with this woman and not her.

How can she have a “white savior complex” when she didn’t know who she donated to? This is so very tiresome. When you pull this trope out it really damages legitimate cases of this.

*not him

I was an English major at an Ivy that produces these writer types and words cannot express how insufferable they are. Reading this just gave me PTSD.

There’s no reasonable explanation for why she used the letter. And it’s weak writing. The other lady is insane though. And even though I also don’t like Larson she is spot on that she has a white savior complex.

I know one thing though. The man she donated the kidney to is probably stoked that she’s obsessed with this woman and not her.