Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d have a hard time explaining it to my kids.

+1
Imagine getting caught and explaining it to your spouse, kids, parents, relatives, family, friends, neighbors, coworkers....Imagine being divorced, messing up kids, leaving your home and relationships and tanking your financial and emotional health.

Most people want an affair in addition to their normal life. But an affair is not an added bonus that you can have on top of your normal life. It actually is a replacement of every normal and functional part of your life. No affair partner is worth it. NONE.

Anonymous wrote:I’d have a hard time explaining it to my kids.

Anonymous wrote:How do spouses justify holding those they allegedly love hostage in a sexless marriage? I put you all in the dysfunctional box. You refuse sex, then say I'll financially destroy them if they cheat. You are batsh!t crazy. For all those hostages out there, I'm a woman and I'm sorry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Fear of getting caught.

woman here.. my DH knows that if he did cheat, I would somehow find out. He's careless, and I'm very perceptive, plus I control the finances.

If he did cheat, he knows that I would divorce him, and take half the assets. He wants to retire early really badly (and he is on track to do that). But, if he had to split his assets, he knows he can kiss his early retirement goodbye.

He knows I can be ruthless.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife has virtually no interest in sex (at least with me), so I think about it all the time and have had opportunities, but I’m too old to deal with the possibility of blowing up my life and suffering financial harm. I’d like to think that somewhere deeper down it has to do with a sense of loyalty to my wife, but I really don’t know if that’s a factor, as the other reasons are so acute.

Just letting you know you are not alone. My ideal situation would be a work trip one-night stand, but not looking for any emotional affair locally to screw up finances and family.

One night stand is not worth the risk. IMO it’s only worth it for someone you might actually leave for. Otherwise so much risk/possible pain just for fleeting pleasure.

This has to be written by a woman, men would much much rather have crazy hot one night stand sex than have the complication of maintaining a deep relationship while married. BTDT and not worth it. Hotel conference sex with someone I will never see again? Sign me up!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife has virtually no interest in sex (at least with me), so I think about it all the time and have had opportunities, but I’m too old to deal with the possibility of blowing up my life and suffering financial harm. I’d like to think that somewhere deeper down it has to do with a sense of loyalty to my wife, but I really don’t know if that’s a factor, as the other reasons are so acute.

In the same situation, and I agree with this. It's hard to have loyalty, i.e. sexual fidelity with someone you aren't having sex with.

Only reason I don't cheat is fear of getting caught. I wouldn't feel guilty and I don't owe loyalty to someone who has sexually abandoned me.

You should then talk to your spouse about that. You're lack of communication clearly says you're part of the problem! Or both get counseling. My DH cheated and there's no going back after that. In my mind he betrayed me to the hilt, and I treated him very well in all regards. He cheated himself out of having a partner that loves or cares about him. He stepped over a dollar to pick up a penny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife has virtually no interest in sex (at least with me), so I think about it all the time and have had opportunities, but I’m too old to deal with the possibility of blowing up my life and suffering financial harm. I’d like to think that somewhere deeper down it has to do with a sense of loyalty to my wife, but I really don’t know if that’s a factor, as the other reasons are so acute.

Just letting you know you are not alone. My ideal situation would be a work trip one-night stand, but not looking for any emotional affair locally to screw up finances and family.

One night stand is not worth the risk. IMO it’s only worth it for someone you might actually leave for. Otherwise so much risk/possible pain just for fleeting pleasure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife has virtually no interest in sex (at least with me), so I think about it all the time and have had opportunities, but I’m too old to deal with the possibility of blowing up my life and suffering financial harm. I’d like to think that somewhere deeper down it has to do with a sense of loyalty to my wife, but I really don’t know if that’s a factor, as the other reasons are so acute.

Just letting you know you are not alone. My ideal situation would be a work trip one-night stand, but not looking for any emotional affair locally to screw up finances and family.

Anonymous wrote:Wife has virtually no interest in sex (at least with me), so I think about it all the time and have had opportunities, but I’m too old to deal with the possibility of blowing up my life and suffering financial harm. I’d like to think that somewhere deeper down it has to do with a sense of loyalty to my wife, but I really don’t know if that’s a factor, as the other reasons are so acute.