Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for all the comments! I actually didn't mean to put down any colleges, we are looking to stay in Virginia for college though, so that was my mindset and I didn't mention it in the post.

For deciding for my child, I think at this point I still have that authority. What will happen is my DD will now not have to choose her ballet or softball and other activities around her older brothers soccer practice schedule. We said no to her this year because the activities she wanted were exactly on the days my oldest practiced. Can't split myself in two so she joined rec soccer on the days my oldest practiced. Not a terrible outcome, but it wasn't what she wanted. My youngest is 5 yo and is glad to be out and spending time with other kids, so he is fine for now.

While I don't regret having spent time with my DS at practices or games, if you honestly look at it, I really wasn't spending time with him. He was at practice and I was on the sidelines. I have had a chance to go for runs so I'm not just sitting, but I could do that in my neighborhood park after actually having spent time with my children. To be clear, the fact that we wouldn't do travel soccer doesn't mean I would not spend time with them, in fact we would spend more time together.

Sure you have the authority. Obviously you do. But after nine years of pushing a kid, it is a toxic approach to ending his soccer career for him. You made that choice for him when he was little, he invested time and energy because of you, and now you are going to pull the rug from out under him? Are you trying to destroy your relationship? Make him resent his sibling, who is too young to even remember any activities?

He is a junior. He isn't a little kid. Involve him in the decision. Maybe he will find a way to get to practice on his own. Maybe he can drive. Your unilateral approach is terrible.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I think you are overthinkiing things. I ask my son what he wants to do, accept the spot or not. He is old enough to make a decision about what he wants to do. If he wants to put his time and energy towards travel soccer, great. We have only one kid and earn decent salaries, so why not? If he wanted to drop it and do something else, that would be ok too.

This "My other kids have had to keep some of their activities to a minimum because of the oldest. I don't blame anyone but myself for this, though."
I know you blame yourself for this, but why would you slight your other kids so the oldest can fulfill his desire to play soccer?

OP Here!

Thanks for the question! Essentially they let me know what activities they wanted to get into, specifically DD who is 7yo. Her dance/ballet classes she wanted directly conflicted with the days my son's travel team practiced. I thought about leaving my son at practice early, he is 15yo btw, but the two locations were about 10 mi apart so I would spend 3 of 5 weekdays traveling back and forth after work, hoping I didn't crash and nothing happened to my oldest at practice. I chose not to have that headache and my 7yo DD is currently doing rec soccer at the same club my oldest plays at.

You've changed your DDs age by two years. And I cannot roll my eyes hard enough at "hoping I didn't crash."

But whatever, go ahead and sink your relationship with what I sincerely hope is your imaginary son.

Three kids, youngest is 5yo

Yes, and before you were fussing about your DD5's dance classes and activities, so you are changing your story. I flat-out don't believe you.

In any event, anyone who is so unable to function in the world that you can't manage what look to me like simple logistics without throwing as much of a fit as you are is probably not someone rational anyhow.

Maybe OP embellished the ages slightly so crazy people like you won't try and track them down. Alot of people do this on anonymous boards.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whether OP is making up stuff or not, I'm glad to finally see something that wasn't about FCV or SYC or VA Revolution.

There’s more to dissect between FCV and Loudoun (why did you omit them?) than SYC and VA Revolution

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I think you are overthinkiing things. I ask my son what he wants to do, accept the spot or not. He is old enough to make a decision about what he wants to do. If he wants to put his time and energy towards travel soccer, great. We have only one kid and earn decent salaries, so why not? If he wanted to drop it and do something else, that would be ok too.

This "My other kids have had to keep some of their activities to a minimum because of the oldest. I don't blame anyone but myself for this, though."
I know you blame yourself for this, but why would you slight your other kids so the oldest can fulfill his desire to play soccer?

OP Here!

Thanks for the question! Essentially they let me know what activities they wanted to get into, specifically DD who is 7yo. Her dance/ballet classes she wanted directly conflicted with the days my son's travel team practiced. I thought about leaving my son at practice early, he is 15yo btw, but the two locations were about 10 mi apart so I would spend 3 of 5 weekdays traveling back and forth after work, hoping I didn't crash and nothing happened to my oldest at practice. I chose not to have that headache and my 7yo DD is currently doing rec soccer at the same club my oldest plays at.

You've changed your DDs age by two years. And I cannot roll my eyes hard enough at "hoping I didn't crash."

But whatever, go ahead and sink your relationship with what I sincerely hope is your imaginary son.

Three kids, youngest is 5yo

Yes, and before you were fussing about your DD5's dance classes and activities, so you are changing your story. I flat-out don't believe you.

In any event, anyone who is so unable to function in the world that you can't manage what look to me like simple logistics without throwing as much of a fit as you are is probably not someone rational anyhow.

Anonymous wrote:Whether OP is making up stuff or not, I'm glad to finally see something that wasn't about FCV or SYC or VA Revolution.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are overthinkiing things. I ask my son what he wants to do, accept the spot or not. He is old enough to make a decision about what he wants to do. If he wants to put his time and energy towards travel soccer, great. We have only one kid and earn decent salaries, so why not? If he wanted to drop it and do something else, that would be ok too.

This "My other kids have had to keep some of their activities to a minimum because of the oldest. I don't blame anyone but myself for this, though."
I know you blame yourself for this, but why would you slight your other kids so the oldest can fulfill his desire to play soccer?

OP Here!

Thanks for the question! Essentially they let me know what activities they wanted to get into, specifically DD who is 7yo. Her dance/ballet classes she wanted directly conflicted with the days my son's travel team practiced. I thought about leaving my son at practice early, he is 15yo btw, but the two locations were about 10 mi apart so I would spend 3 of 5 weekdays traveling back and forth after work, hoping I didn't crash and nothing happened to my oldest at practice. I chose not to have that headache and my 7yo DD is currently doing rec soccer at the same club my oldest plays at.

You've changed your DDs age by two years. And I cannot roll my eyes hard enough at "hoping I didn't crash."

But whatever, go ahead and sink your relationship with what I sincerely hope is your imaginary son.

Three kids, youngest is 5yo

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are overthinkiing things. I ask my son what he wants to do, accept the spot or not. He is old enough to make a decision about what he wants to do. If he wants to put his time and energy towards travel soccer, great. We have only one kid and earn decent salaries, so why not? If he wanted to drop it and do something else, that would be ok too.

This "My other kids have had to keep some of their activities to a minimum because of the oldest. I don't blame anyone but myself for this, though."
I know you blame yourself for this, but why would you slight your other kids so the oldest can fulfill his desire to play soccer?

OP Here!

Thanks for the question! Essentially they let me know what activities they wanted to get into, specifically DD who is 7yo. Her dance/ballet classes she wanted directly conflicted with the days my son's travel team practiced. I thought about leaving my son at practice early, he is 15yo btw, but the two locations were about 10 mi apart so I would spend 3 of 5 weekdays traveling back and forth after work, hoping I didn't crash and nothing happened to my oldest at practice. I chose not to have that headache and my 7yo DD is currently doing rec soccer at the same club my oldest plays at.

You've changed your DDs age by two years. And I cannot roll my eyes hard enough at "hoping I didn't crash."

But whatever, go ahead and sink your relationship with what I sincerely hope is your imaginary son.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are overthinkiing things. I ask my son what he wants to do, accept the spot or not. He is old enough to make a decision about what he wants to do. If he wants to put his time and energy towards travel soccer, great. We have only one kid and earn decent salaries, so why not? If he wanted to drop it and do something else, that would be ok too.

This "My other kids have had to keep some of their activities to a minimum because of the oldest. I don't blame anyone but myself for this, though."
I know you blame yourself for this, but why would you slight your other kids so the oldest can fulfill his desire to play soccer?

OP Here!

Thanks for the question! Essentially they let me know what activities they wanted to get into, specifically DD who is 7yo. Her dance/ballet classes she wanted directly conflicted with the days my son's travel team practiced. I thought about leaving my son at practice early, he is 15yo btw, but the two locations were about 10 mi apart so I would spend 3 of 5 weekdays traveling back and forth after work, hoping I didn't crash and nothing happened to my oldest at practice. I chose not to have that headache and my 7yo DD is currently doing rec soccer at the same club my oldest plays at.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who else feels like this?

Spent $30k on club, team fees, training alone

Spent 3,000 hours alone on practices and matches

My DC has not made long term friendships on any of the teams

The coaches never seemed to be interested enough

My other kids have had to keep some of their activities to a minimum because of the oldest. I don't blame anyone but myself for this, though.

My DC loves soccer, but he is not good enough to play past high school or maybe D2/D3, but those colleges aren't good academically anyway.

This season DC is on the top team of his club, ECNL-RL though but like I said if he were to make an ECNL team, he would not get much game time. The coach is really interested in my DC as a player as my child now says that after practice and matches he makes comments about child's playing style and what he could improve upon. My DC on this team plays with confidence and attempts 1v1 moves. My DC now is more friendly with other players.

I like that both of us are enjoying the experience right now, but hate that it took so long to finally find a place that was right for him.

I have decided this year will be the last one for him. He will be junior in HS next year and made the HS soccer team last year.

For those of you that have had 4-5 years in travel soccer, what has your experience been like so far? Enjoyed it, or miserably looking at next year and hoping your son will not want to do it?

Foreigner here who arrived here as an adult and now makes a living from those ridiculous fees you’re made to pay:

I can only say two words. DAMN & LOL

Thanks for your input!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who else feels like this?

Spent $30k on club, team fees, training alone

Spent 3,000 hours alone on practices and matches

My DC has not made long term friendships on any of the teams

The coaches never seemed to be interested enough

My other kids have had to keep some of their activities to a minimum because of the oldest. I don't blame anyone but myself for this, though.

My DC loves soccer, but he is not good enough to play past high school or maybe D2/D3, but those colleges aren't good academically anyway.

This season DC is on the top team of his club, ECNL-RL though but like I said if he were to make an ECNL team, he would not get much game time. The coach is really interested in my DC as a player as my child now says that after practice and matches he makes comments about child's playing style and what he could improve upon. My DC on this team plays with confidence and attempts 1v1 moves. My DC now is more friendly with other players.

I like that both of us are enjoying the experience right now, but hate that it took so long to finally find a place that was right for him.

I have decided this year will be the last one for him. He will be junior in HS next year and made the HS soccer team last year.

For those of you that have had 4-5 years in travel soccer, what has your experience been like so far? Enjoyed it, or miserably looking at next year and hoping your son will not want to do it?

Foreigner here who arrived here as an adult and now makes a living from those ridiculous fees you’re made to pay:

I can only say two words. DAMN & LOL

Anonymous wrote:This thread has been really helpful. We haven't reached the point where we have switched from red to travel. We are doing a "mini" travel league this year, just into the surrounding DMV area. I have one concern that has been lightly touched on- but interested in the perspective of others. When I was growing up, travel leagues were really just starting (at least in my area). That meant, for the most part, you could still be a Star athlete at the High School level without having ever played travel. BUT.. for the few kids who did do travel (this was especially prevalent in softball at that time), you could really tell the difference between the travel players and the rec players. The travel players all made Varsity at a young age, were starters, and played a lot. Rec players could still make the team- and maybe even start- but it wasn't a guarantee. But there were a few who could still be top players. Travel players were the ones hoping to play in college.

I guess, my worry for my kids, is that Travel leagues are so prevalent, especially in this area, that it feels like if we do not do them my kids will have ZERO chance of even playing High School sports. This conversation has been a lot of about College level, and D1 verses D2 & 3, etc... but what about High School. I didn't play anything in college, but in High School all my friends were in at least one sport. I would like to know my kids will at least have the opportunity to play... not just be a bench warmer.

And what about multiple sports? Is that no longer a thing in High School? Do we have to commit to one sport, year round by Middle School and hope they stay interested in that one sport throughout their childhood? Obviously gifted athletes will be able to make a jump. But what about your average kid?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are overthinkiing things. I ask my son what he wants to do, accept the spot or not. He is old enough to make a decision about what he wants to do. If he wants to put his time and energy towards travel soccer, great. We have only one kid and earn decent salaries, so why not? If he wanted to drop it and do something else, that would be ok too.

This "My other kids have had to keep some of their activities to a minimum because of the oldest. I don't blame anyone but myself for this, though."
I know you blame yourself for this, but why would you slight your other kids so the oldest can fulfill his desire to play soccer?

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Anonymous wrote:As a point in favor of playing - and obviously only an example - my daughter played high level travel for years. (This was just as the ECNL started). She then played 4 years of college soccer. Along the way she added personal confidence, a bit at a time, as well as self assurance in her own abilities, and a lot of knowledge/experience establishing the benefits of perseverance and effort. Finally, she gained and told advantage of many opportunities to learn and employ leadership skills.

Kids and young adults can gain those experiences and work on those attributes from many other activities besides sports. But, they can also get them from sports.

My son and daughter played soccer from the age of 5 until they turned 12. At that age, my wife and I moved them over to golf and tennis. Daughter is playing tennis at a D1 school and son is playing golf at a D2 school. My wife and I are very happy with our choices because tennis and golf are sports for life with open door to networking and better ROI.

Do you need to be good at either to join the country club?

you need to be able to afford the dues. Even without a membership, the coaching and greens fees to get good enough to play in college will dwarf the cost of travel soccer

I'm speaking as an adult. The point being, the ROI because of networking is accomplished by joining the Country Club not by actually being proficient at either sport. Golf in particular can be picked up at any age and any reasonable athlete can learn the game in short order and not completely embarrass themselves because there are many who play who are in the same boat.

Tennis, not so easy to pick up but lets not act as if country club networking is based on the actual ability but rather the social aspect as well as the self filtering nature of being a member of an expensive club.

Dude, I play golf at Chevy Chase CC and everyone there wants to play with good golfers. I am a former D1 swimmer and I’ve been playing golf for the past ten years and I still embarrass myself with my golf score quite often. Golf is hard. I can tell you from my personal experience is that a lot of business is being done on the golf course. That’s where my company CEO hired the company CFO.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I dont get why families put themselves through this hell. Just let your kid play for their high school teams. No driving. They play with their friends, etc. And I agree the amount that the driving to practice and games can affect the other kids in the family is unfair.

And before anyone brings up college aid, just think how much thirty thousand invested over the years would be now.

If your kid can drive himself and you can afford to make a car available to him and he really wants to continue, let him. But parents should not feel obligated to spend hours driving their kids to play sports. I have a friend who complains that she "has" to get up at 445am to drive her kid to swim practice. No, she does not HAVE to do that. She CHOOSES to do that, and I for one would never do that.