And remember and realize - she uses these “friends” for her social content. Apparently they’re ok with it but they’re being used to promote herself just the same.

Anonymous wrote:I feel this. As a woman nearing 50, I have zero close friendships in my life. It makes me sad and wondering what I am doing wrong.

Sorry people are being so dismissive of your experiences just so they can dunk on Jen. It IS sad and it IS lonely not to have close friends in your life. Most of us will never have a gaggle of girlfriends that we can lounge around intimately with and that’s tough. Jen is unique in that she has such close relationships with her friends and it’s part of what drives followers to her. She used to post about them much more.

However what Jen doesn’t get is that “just putting yourself out there”, joining clubs and groups, etc. does NOT guarantee special friendships. “Showing up” for others time and time again doesn’t mean they’ll ever really show up for you.

I’m lucky to have a few close friends in my life who tell me they love me, who can raise me up in tough times, who often show up in invaluable ways. But my boyfriend is still the vast majority of my social life. I don’t have consistent friends since I was in undergrad who I can call up randomly in the week and say, come over for dinner, let’s get coffee, let’s just walk in the park. They just say ohhh no. They’re too tired, too busy, too sick or depressed, another time….

When we are together, the chemistry is undeniable. They tell me I’m the best and they’re so grateful for me. But it’s like somehow hanging out just a couple times a year has become the norm. That’s somehow enough for them?

I don’t know what the answer is to be honest. I acknowledge and carry the sadness. Sometimes I even upset at how unfair it feels. But I try and focus on gratitude and acceptance. I’m proud of my little family with my boyfriend and pets. I’m still incredibly privileged in my life with my own parents and siblings who truly are there day and night.

No one’s life is perfect. I mean look at Jen. Despite her having these incredible friends and friend-like siblings, she still feels lonely and insecure enough to stay with Tyler.

So we don’t need to trash her decades long friendships to feel better about ourselves. But we can acknowledge that all isn’t as it seems on social media. And that seeing these images can still make us feel longing and sadness.

Sorry for the rambling.

Anonymous wrote:I feel this. As a woman nearing 50, I have zero close friendships in my life. It makes me sad and wondering what I am doing wrong.

I have good friends but they are more individual friendships rather than a close friend group, with the exception of my college peeps, whom I never get to see. But I have spent much of my life on the outside looking in, particularly when fundie religion is involved. I was not handed the sort of life that fit a fundie Christian narrative. That is why --

I almost never post anything on social media that involves hanging out with my friends. I don't brag about them, or time spent with them. For one thing, it kind of cheapens the friendship, and for another thing, I don't want to make anyone feel bad. I have had times in my life where I have felt isolated, and still do, despite having close friends.

And why I was never impressed that Sis changed her tune on her fundie religion only when her own immediate family was involved. Like she must have seen people suffering from the church narrative, and mostly ignored it, and carried on with her "dearest" friend group and "dearest" church community until it was her that was impacted, and her life that didn't fit. Then all the sudden she realized it was damaging. And then has the audacity to suggest that her "deconstruction" is some sort of mind blowing fresh perspective we've all been needing in our lives.

And then shrilling "connection" and to be part of her coveted circle, if only you pay money to go to me-camp, go on a cruise, join her book club. Just yuck.

But OP - don't take JH's advertised version of close friendships, and try to apply it to your life. When I moved to a new area, my first 2 closest friends were older ladies - like 20-25+ years older than me. See, they had raised their kids, and actually had time for me. Now, many years later, many friends have been made in unconventional ways, and are more unconventional people. Then, remembering these older friends and how helpful they were when I was young, I looked back towards women younger than me now, and have befriended them. It becomes a generational thing. Also, don't forget re-connecting with old friends. They may be in a different place in their lives now, and have more bandwidth.

I have friends I’m very close to, and I would be really uncomfortable if one of them wanted to buy matching pajamas and take pictures in them. 😬😬

Lots of women have beautiful friendships. They aren’t performative, though. There’s very little matching pajamas happening. I have a small cluster of dear friends that I’ve had for decades. A few still live in the same town and a few have scattered across the U.S. we see each other a few times a year if we’re lucky but we text constantly and call each other pretty routinely but we’re all super busy. We don’t screen shot our conversations though. Jen is so weird. She has to make it seem she’s living this dream but there’s a real fragility and sadness there.

I feel this. As a woman nearing 50, I have zero close friendships in my life. It makes me sad and wondering what I am doing wrong.

She just posted a long sappy poem about having close friends as an adult, and a picture of her and three friends cuddling in pajamas in bed. I'm sad. Why don't I have that in my life. I mean yes maybe it's overblown but she does have friends she's cuddling in pajamas with. She can't make that stuff up.

Lol, Jane is a huge perk and has kept me engaged when I considered leaving.

Anonymous wrote:This thread might be one of Jen’s biggest successes as an influencer. Damnnnnn…

Even influencers who chase the haterade rarely get this type of long-term traction.

Na I just come here now for Jane.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread might be one of Jen’s biggest successes as an influencer. Damnnnnn…

Even influencers who chase the haterade rarely get this type of long-term traction.

I think this shows the hurt and betrayal people still feel from Jen's bait-and-switch from Christianity to whatever she's worshipping now.

Let’s be real. Big Siss has only ever worshipped herself.

Anonymous wrote:This thread might be one of Jen’s biggest successes as an influencer. Damnnnnn…

Even influencers who chase the haterade rarely get this type of long-term traction.

I think this shows the hurt and betrayal people still feel from Jen's bait-and-switch from Christianity to whatever she's worshipping now.

Back in the day, I always liked Jen's writing more than Glennon's because she seemed more grounded. Glennon's crazy was much closer to the surface.

Now, Jen is unhitched from a church community and kind of grasping at whatever makes her feel belonging, be it a seemingly-disinterested can't be bothered much boyfriend or a community of SJWs who are more fundamentalist than the harshest Pharisee.

This thread might be one of Jen’s biggest successes as an influencer. Damnnnnn…

Even influencers who chase the haterade rarely get this type of long-term traction.

Anonymous wrote:
Fool me once- I bought your book and believed you when you said your marriage was amazing and you loved Jesus in this new, edgy, faith way and you enjoyed a glass of wine and toasted your restricted fundamentalist upbringing and your freedom from it.

This so much resembles the defective church plant full of Hatmaker and Glennon loving women I was a part of for a decade.

Tina could probably actually pull off the Grandma title. I really liked Jamie's clapback about it. But props to Tina and Brandon for not releasing a "here's where they told us about the baby" video.