Anonymous
Post 06/15/2013 20:34     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Dd: Georgia
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2013 19:40     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:Third time's the charm?

DS1 Ian
DS2 Noel

(I have been answering some of these, too!)


Aah, Ian and Noel. You grew up smart in a smart family that lived in a community of over-achievers. Going Ivy was simply what everyone around you did. You got a scholarship to study abroad and spent three fabulous years at Oxford. You had to beg your parents to let you take one summer off to backpack around Europe. It was your mother and grandparents on your side, with your father threatening to cut you off. Finally your grandparents gave you $2,000 and told you to go do it, this would be the only opportunity in your life to do it. You met DH at a hostel halfway through and spent the next month with him. You first had sex in the upper bunk of a bunk bed and were so terrified of falling off the edge that you were shocked to be relaxed enough to have your first orgasm.

DH is from Ireland and had the stereotypically drunk father and depressed mother. He reminded you of Jack the way he bummed around happily, the character Leo played in the Titanic movie. When your father met him, he asked DH about his plans. To his credit, DH said his plans were to finish his education so he could get a well-paying job that afforded him the money to keep you happy for the rest of your life. Your mother commented on how she'd never seen your eyes lit up that way before. They threw you a beautiful wedding. You honeymooned in Africa, and to this day, every time you and DH have sex internationally you always orgasm, though it's hit or miss here in the States.

Ian is a tall boy who looks geeky, so his sportiness is a bit surprising. He liked lining up his cars just so and you were worried he had autism, but it turned out the nanny was keeping him home all day every day. You switched to a nanny share, to your mother's horror, and Ian blossomed right away into a friendly and social boy who easily made friends and got along with everyone.

You had no idea how many people didn't know the difference between Noel and Noelle until you named your second son. Even the nurse at the hospital! Your favorite picture of Noel is one with him sitting on DH's shoulders after DH graduated from his night-time law school program. Their smiles are just so big. Noel is a smidge of a mama's boy, but you feel so much closer to both children than you did to your own mother that you don't care. Noel's had a series of tiny medical issues. Tongue tie, undescended testicle, ear pinning, etc., but he's a happy boy who seems to have a great affinity for animals.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2013 17:57     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
I love this thread.

My kid is a Libby.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2013 17:29     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Third time's the charm?

DS1 Ian
DS2 Noel

(I have been answering some of these, too!)
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2013 17:10     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I posted on page 12 and never saw a response. So, trying again:

DD1: Maureen
DD2: Clara
DS1: David
DD3: Grainne


Maureen's named for your mom. Clara because it's pretty (and you thought it was unusual when you picked it). DH got to name David. Grainne was a surprise. You picked the name and you wanted something unusual and (obviously) irish-many of the other irish name names seem too trendy to you. Luckily, even with the Grainne surprise, you and DH still have a solid marriage. You would probably best be described as "culturally Catholic," but you would never let your relatives hear you say that, and the idea of divorce still makes you feel a little sick. He can be too focused on work, and you can be too focused on the kids, but since that rough patch you are really trying to make time for each other. You hope it will get easier as the kids get older. Maureen was such a sweet little girl, but now as a teen she's a handful. Catholic school didn't work out. She didn't care, because she wanted a school with art classes and boys, but it was awkward explaining it all to the family.


is this the one you were looking for pp?


Was there another one where Maureen was the child from a teen pregnancy, then mom became a dental tech and remarried the dentist with whom she had the other 3 kids? Am I blurring 2 thumbnails together here?


You're not. I wrote the one you're talking about. I wrote a few of them (Ryder and Jackson, Madeleine NOT Madeline, Vladimir and Natalia, the one where Kayla was the least favorite of Rhyann/Kayla/Damon/Lauryn, Single Mom Sam, Lila, Casey and Drew, Dawn and Danielle...maybe some others I'm forgetting. I had fun with it for a day or two.)


You've given me -- and I'd guess others as well -- immense pleasure. You should consider writing. And . . . so what are your kid(s)' names?
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2013 17:08     Subject: Re:Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Best DCUM thread ever!

OK, I'll give it up:

Sam
Evan
Lily

Hit me with your best shot!


You had Sam and Evan without any difficulty and love them both dearly, but you were determined to have a girl so you put your name in the hat to adopt from China.[b] And then you waited and waited and waited. When you finally got that wonderful referral, Sam was in high school and Evan was in middle school. You had forgotten what it was like to change diapers on very little sleep while also dealing with the bundle of issues that come with international adoptions.[b] Your sweet, Lily, is a fierce and fiery toddler who keeps all of you alternating between adoration and bewilderment. You now juggle soccer tournaments with play groups and therapy sessions. You can't remember the last time you had sex with your husband and you find yourself forgetting important dates and familiar names. You are parenting a very different child at a very different stage of life and it all feels out of whack, but you can't admit that to anyone because you have plastered on a joyful smile while popping in another annoying children's cd. All will eventually settle down and you will sleep again and Lily will lead a fairly happy life and your boys will be proud of their multicultural family and your husband will be relieved to have you hold his hand again.




Well done. The kids are closer in age than you thought, but otherwise, you nailed it. They're now in HS and college. Lily is quite happy, I think, as are the boys (who are no longer boys, but young men). Though we are a multicultural family, I'm not sure we think of ourselves that way very often. Recently we met Evan's roommate's family for the first time and when the mom commented on this, it took me a few minutes to figure out what she was talking about (me: "Oh yeah, Lily's Chinese.") And, yes, DH and I are happy in our almost-empty nest. BTW, did you know the dog's name is Ruby?



I should have known...Ruby! The reason I nailed this one because it is remarkably close to home. Glad to hear all has worked out for your family and that the nearly empty nest stage isn't too sad or lonely


It's always surprising to me how many families who adopted daughters born in China also have two older sons by birth.



Not only do these families have two older birth sons, but the Chinese daughter is invariably named Lily.


Or Grace. In our case, DH has a very common name among men of his age and mine is very unusual for women my age, so we were trying to go for the sweet spot in between. I think we did OK with Lily and Evan, but Sam was our first and I never saw that popularity train coming. Probably still would have gone with it -- family name and the name of a character in a novel that I love.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2013 16:50     Subject: Re:Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:Maya
Max[/quote

You are too cool for everyone, but unfortunately late in trendy timing --everyone else loves your names!
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2013 16:47     Subject: Re:Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Scarlett
Michael
John

I love the name Esther, but it was a no go with hubby (who wanted Willow). We compromised with Scarlett.


You have been married for ten years. Your husband is a firefighter and you met at a coffee near campus when you were taking education classes at U of MD. You started dating, but didn't think it would really lead to anything. You both came from such different families. His blue collar and rural; yours educated, upper middle class. During your summer break, you went up to New Hampshire to work at a summer camp. You thought it would an easy to way to break things off, but you ended up realizing during your time apart that you actually loved the guy. At the end of the summer, you were engaged and eloped to Vegas for a weekend wedding. Your parents and friends were shocked. A few months later you were surprised, but happy to discover that you were pregnant with baby Scarlett. You dropped out of school and started decorating the nursery. Your parents had been hoping your marriage would fizzle out, but with a baby on the way they began to realize that this was a more permanent situation. The first year of Scarlett's life was your happiest. You became more accustomed to his shifts and you loved seeing all of the changes that happened with Scarlett. You made new friends with the women in the apartment complex who also had young children. Michael and John quickly followed several years later. Life got busier, your marriage began to get a little stale, and you realized that the baby fat just never seemed to disappear. When John entered kindergarten, you began to think about going back to school and finishing up your degree. You are currently taking a few classes each semester and loving it. You had an unexpected fling with one of your professors which was a nice pick-me-up for your confidence and pushed you get back into jogging, so now that baby fat is finally gone and you actually find yourself feeling attracted to your husband again and grateful he never found out about your affair. Scarlett is a little chubby but you keep telling yourself she will shoot up any day now and you have stopped buying full fat ice cream since that is something she loves a little too much. Michael has red hair and a ton of freckles. John is quiet, but devilish and a very advanced reader. Your husband is proud of his family and likes to brag to his buddies about your family trips, especially that Disney Cruise you did last winter.



You are amazing! You got much wrong, but many details are creepily dead on.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2013 14:24     Subject: Re:Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Me next, me next!

Bryce
Zoe
[/quote

Your husband make a ton if money in a small dot com business and you are suddenly wealthy (well, the money came around the same time as your first child). You were catapulted from a rental in Adams Morgan to a 6 bedroom house in Reston - where DHs company put down roots in a giant glass and steel tower. Not only did you not need to work, you actually couldn't work - the commute from the city was just too far and there's no one doing international development in Reston. You miss the challenge and feel a bit out if step with the Virginia SAHM set that never intended to work. All their kids are named either simple, plain names - Sarah. Tom. Or ultra-trendy - Braden and 2 jadens live on your block. You picked your kids names when you were at the London school of economics from a cafe and a novel you loved. The SAhM crew thinks they're weird and Bryce often gets called Bruce. You are currently working on getting DH to move to a more cosmopolitan part of town where you think you might fit in better. He likes his commute and likes having you home (home made dinner every night) and this is a nearly constant source of stress and anxiety.


Well, my husband does like his commute but that's the only shred of truth to this!
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2013 14:17     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:DC 1 Breaker
DC 2 Crew


HHI = 75k. You are white. You do not live in DC.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2013 14:14     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Alexander
Jacob
Scott
Aaron
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2013 13:09     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:Yuri
Lara


You were a Russian Studies major at Pomona College after the Cold War ended. Your parents tried to warn you to study Chinese or Hindi, but you were enthralled by both the book and movie version of "Dr. Zhivago," that you convinced them this was sound. You grew up in the Bay Area and while your other high school friends went to Standord (pre-medicine), Berkeley (pre-law) or even USC (business), you loved your small liberal arts college. After graduation with a 3.8 GPA, the CIA offered you a job as an intelligence analyst for the former Russian republics. You moved first to a short term rental near Tyson's Corner so you would be positioned between Langley and Reston. As a California girl, you were very concerned about commuting times (each of your parents commuted an hour and a half to jobs) that you were pleasantly surprised, it was a 15 minute drive to either agency installation. With that and your Volkswagen convertible (graduation present from Grammie whose family made their money in San Francisco real estate), you decided you could live in Georgetown and try to get into a graduate program at the university.

You were accepted to the evening program where you met Michael, the fourth generation of men (not women, however) from his Irish-Catholic family who had been educated at Georgetown. He is two years younger than you but you were enchanted by his New York accent and Irish wit and charm. He went on to Georgetown Law while you toiled at the CIA writing reports and reading or writing very little in Russian. You took one class a semester in your graduate program and never finished. Michael worked for five years at a law firm to pay off his student loans for law school and soon thereafter went to DOJ. You were married that summer at Grammie's home overlooking San Francisco Bay and his family was happy that they had no contract with known homosexuals during their time in San Francisco. Of course, your brother, Chad, and Michael's best friend, Brian, led everyone in "YMCA" at the reception but Michael's parents thought they were only "fun" young men.

You became pregnant on your honeymoon with Lara (her actual name is Larissa Michaelovna -- yes you decided to use the Russian form of a patronymic for her middle name). After a three month maternity leave and a three month leave without pay, your mother-in-law convinced you that staying at home with Lara was preferable than commuting from your new home in Arlington (Dominion Hills) rather than continue working. Your mother who burned her bra and was an ardent feminist in the 1960s and had worked every day of her life was appalled at you, and it created a little rift until Grammie intervened and made it all better. According to your father, Grammie made a $100,000 gift to KCET television (your mother's favorite channel) and all was forgiven. You now do not begin every conversation with your mother "I am so sorry...."

Two years ago, Yuri was born. This time you have to go up against your mother-in-law who could not understand why you wanted to name your child after a God-less communist, but you held your ground. It was either Yuri or Yevgeniy (as in Yevgeniy Yevtushenko) and you mollified your mother-in-law by saying the baby's name would be Yuri Michael, rather than using the patronymic again and having a Yuri Michaelovich.

Lara is now the only girl in the second grade at McKinley Elementary School with that name as opposed to 5 Clares, 3 Meghans and 3 McKenzies.

Yuri is the only boy in kindergarten at Ashlawn (he got into the Montessori Program) with that name as opposed to 6 Jacks, 5 Wills and 4 Connors.

You are very active in the PTAs for both schools. You persuaded your friend from Pomona to sign copies of her new children's book at the McKinley Book Fair. During a break, she was caught smoking pot outside the school with one of the dads who is in "publishing." It was a bit of a scandal and resulted in an "open letter to parents," but everyone has (mostly) forgiven you.

This summer you are headed to the cape where Michael's extended family gather the week before and after the 4th of July. You are looking forward to some down time and catching up on DVDs of "The Russian House."

Anonymous
Post 06/15/2013 10:36     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Did Liam and India's mother ever come back? I posted her "bio" and was wondering if I was at all on the mark.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2013 10:28     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Warner
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2013 10:24     Subject: Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
Anonymous wrote:Micah, Elijah, Benjamin, and Leah


To be in this family, you have to either have an H or a J. No exceptions. Elijah is your favorite for having both letters but you try not to let the others know. Elijah and Benjamin are identical twins - your mother is always buying them matching outfits, but the only one you let them wear were the conductor overalls because those were just over the top cute.

You very much want to be one of those hyper organized moms who run a tight ship with kids who know the routine and follow it, but the truth is your kids run ramshod all over the place. When you found out about that pegboard with cubbyholes on Pintrest you made DH make it and hang it near the door, but the kids never hang their coats or bookbags on it like they're supposed to. You've kind of given up, though every once in a while you halfheartedly look into hiring a professional organizer.

DH is a fed, and is closest with Micah and Leah, and you suspect he can't tell Elijah and Benjamin apart most of the time, which is why he calls both "Little Man." DH golfs most Sundays when there's no snow on the ground. You wish he'd go to church, but he says being out in nature is better for him. You feel like you have all these grand plans - for your marriage, your home, your children, yourself - but none of them ever come to fruition. So you're sporadically having mediocre sex, your home is cramped and out-dated, Leah's hair never looks brushed and the kids always blatantly need new jeans or shoes, and you always could use a good dye job and something other than yoga pants. You hate that DH points out that you've never once done yoga.

Both your sister and best friend have been pissing you off lately - they lead the life you wish you had and you recently found out they've hung out together a couple of times without you. Your sister claims you were invited, and when you went through your emails (46 unread) you saw they did, in fact, invite you and you just never responded. You're one of those people who talks about what they'd like to do, but never does it. "We're thinking of building out the kitchen; DH is looking into the permit issue," "We're researching where to go in Italy for next spring." You wish Leah was closer with you and resent that she always goes to DH for her problems. She spends more time at her best friend's house down the road than she does at home - you are forever sending Micah to bring her back. You truly do not understand how everyone else seems to have it so together, and spend a lot of time writing mildly mean posts on DCUM and watching tv instead of folding laundry or washing the breakfast dishes.