I do understand what the poster is saying about sahms trying to work,too.

This week may not be the best example, though, if these people happen to have kids in fcps. We had 2 days off, a delay day and an early release day. Sucked.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think being a single mother by choice is ever a good idea.

I think it's a better idea than not being a mother if you want to have children

I kind of regret staying home for the full 3.5 month. A few weeks didn't make a huge difference, so I should have gone to work after 6-8 weeks and not waste a bunch of my leave. I'd be a lot happier for it. My baby is at home, FWIW.

I meant that sitting at home with pp is worse than working at Pizza Hut. Was that unclear?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Being a SAHM was a direct contribution to my postpartum depression. I regret it so, so much.

I ended up getting a job at Starbucks (I was a white collar professional) to get out of the house. We didn't need the money and people looked at me sideways for sending the kids to daycare, but it was the smartest decision I ever made. It saved my life.

I don't work at Starbucks anymore (back in my pre-children field), but I always tip extra when I go.

Whenever a mom who can afford daycare complains about staying home, I just shrug. Because if it was as bad as it was for me, you would get a job at pizza hut even if you DH was making 500K a year.


When i hear about a mom who would rather work at Pizza Hut than take care of her own child - with a husband that makes $500K/year or not - i think that this is someone who probably shouldn't be a mom. My unpopular opinion? that is just really sad.

I'm the PP poster. And by all accounts I am a great mom. I'm just a mom who needs something more than being a SAHM all day. What's sad is being a SAHM who is depressed and lets her kids suffer in that depression. Have you ever seen a woman suffering from PP? It's terrible. My kids thrived in daycare and they are teenagers now, doing quite well. My health and happiness needs to come first in order to be a good mom. People don't think this, but it's true...at least for me.

Good for you PP! I applaud your decision.

+1. I'm glad you pulled the trigger and got that job at Sbux and then back in your own field, despite the fact that I'm sure there was judgment from others. You have to do what's right for you, even when you have a kid. To all the ones saying -- if you'd rather work at Pizza Hut than be around your kid, that's sad. There's 168 hrs in a week -- what's better from a child's standpoint -- a mom who is miserable/depressed/crying/can't get out of bed/wondering why she had a kid - 168 hours a week or one who is engaged and happy to see DC 128 hrs/wk??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a SAHM was a direct contribution to my postpartum depression. I regret it so, so much.

I ended up getting a job at Starbucks (I was a white collar professional) to get out of the house. We didn't need the money and people looked at me sideways for sending the kids to daycare, but it was the smartest decision I ever made. It saved my life.

I don't work at Starbucks anymore (back in my pre-children field), but I always tip extra when I go.

Whenever a mom who can afford daycare complains about staying home, I just shrug. Because if it was as bad as it was for me, you would get a job at pizza hut even if you DH was making 500K a year.

When i hear about a mom who would rather work at Pizza Hut than take care of her own child - with a husband that makes $500K/year or not - i think that this is someone who probably shouldn't be a mom. My unpopular opinion? that is just really sad.

+1

PP, glad your PPD ended. But your situation does not apply to all SAH parents.

I think white collar private sector employees who say -- I work from home but I work JUST as much as my colleagues are full of $hit. I have never seen a work from home (full time -- not like 1 day a week or something) professional work nearly as hard. The whole -- oh but I don't waste time commuting or getting lunch or standing by the watercooler is utter nonsense. Even if they start off being just as productive, after a while it turns into -- oh I gotta pick up my kid from school, it's just 15 min -- no more than a Sbux run with colleagues; or let me just throw in a load of laundry; or I just gotta talk to the cable repair guy. The ones who have "special" arrangements that let them work from home -- often bc the job is in a different city -- are just seen as being less "vital" to the team and are given fewer responsibilities, prob due to out of sight, out of mind. The sum total -- they never want to admit it, but their colleagues pick up their slack all the time.

I'm glad companies are starting to clamp down on these arrangements in certain industries, as they're realizing that a Minneapolis based company that has one executive in Dallas because he can't/won't move has no idea what the Dallas guy does all day, so he needs to either move or work out a 4 day arrangement where he's in a hotel in MN and flies home Thursday night.

Don't get me wrong -- it works in certain jobs which are more "production" based (like paying medical claims or typing up deposition transcripts) bc someone can put a quota on you, but for regular business jobs -- it's not as effective as people would like to think.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Being a SAHM was a direct contribution to my postpartum depression. I regret it so, so much.

I ended up getting a job at Starbucks (I was a white collar professional) to get out of the house. We didn't need the money and people looked at me sideways for sending the kids to daycare, but it was the smartest decision I ever made. It saved my life.

I don't work at Starbucks anymore (back in my pre-children field), but I always tip extra when I go.

Whenever a mom who can afford daycare complains about staying home, I just shrug. Because if it was as bad as it was for me, you would get a job at pizza hut even if you DH was making 500K a year.


When i hear about a mom who would rather work at Pizza Hut than take care of her own child - with a husband that makes $500K/year or not - i think that this is someone who probably shouldn't be a mom. My unpopular opinion? that is just really sad.

I'm the PP poster. And by all accounts I am a great mom. I'm just a mom who needs something more than being a SAHM all day. What's sad is being a SAHM who is depressed and lets her kids suffer in that depression. Have you ever seen a woman suffering from PP? It's terrible. My kids thrived in daycare and they are teenagers now, doing quite well. My health and happiness needs to come first in order to be a good mom. People don't think this, but it's true...at least for me.

Good for you PP! I applaud your decision.

I am not a troll i am a working mom - i operate a daycare!! I am not pro or anti sahm, wohm i think everyone should do what is right for themselves and their families! But i have seem firsthand how it effects a child when mom would rather do anything than spend time with him/her and it is very sad! Sorry pp your post made it sound like you really couldn't stand to be around your own child and i have a hard time relating to that. I don't get how working a minimum wage job could be more fulfilling than taking care of your baby. But i don't know you, i don't know the details and it's not my business. I get that. I am sorry for you depression also - i have to admit i have not walked in those shoes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Being a SAHM was a direct contribution to my postpartum depression. I regret it so, so much.

I ended up getting a job at Starbucks (I was a white collar professional) to get out of the house. We didn't need the money and people looked at me sideways for sending the kids to daycare, but it was the smartest decision I ever made. It saved my life.

I don't work at Starbucks anymore (back in my pre-children field), but I always tip extra when I go.

Whenever a mom who can afford daycare complains about staying home, I just shrug. Because if it was as bad as it was for me, you would get a job at pizza hut even if you DH was making 500K a year.


When i hear about a mom who would rather work at Pizza Hut than take care of her own child - with a husband that makes $500K/year or not - i think that this is someone who probably shouldn't be a mom. My unpopular opinion? that is just really sad.

I'm the PP poster. And by all accounts I am a great mom. I'm just a mom who needs something more than being a SAHM all day. What's sad is being a SAHM who is depressed and lets her kids suffer in that depression. Have you ever seen a woman suffering from PP? It's terrible. My kids thrived in daycare and they are teenagers now, doing quite well. My health and happiness needs to come first in order to be a good mom. People don't think this, but it's true...at least for me.

Ignore the trolls PP. Some people don't realize that not everyone is just like them. It sounds like you are a wonderful mom for realizing what you needed to do to be healthy and in the best shape to parent your kids.

Anonymous wrote:
Being a SAHM was a direct contribution to my postpartum depression. I regret it so, so much.

I ended up getting a job at Starbucks (I was a white collar professional) to get out of the house. We didn't need the money and people looked at me sideways for sending the kids to daycare, but it was the smartest decision I ever made. It saved my life.

I don't work at Starbucks anymore (back in my pre-children field), but I always tip extra when I go.

Whenever a mom who can afford daycare complains about staying home, I just shrug. Because if it was as bad as it was for me, you would get a job at pizza hut even if you DH was making 500K a year.


When i hear about a mom who would rather work at Pizza Hut than take care of her own child - with a husband that makes $500K/year or not - i think that this is someone who probably shouldn't be a mom. My unpopular opinion? that is just really sad.

I'm the PP poster. And by all accounts I am a great mom. I'm just a mom who needs something more than being a SAHM all day. What's sad is being a SAHM who is depressed and lets her kids suffer in that depression. Have you ever seen a woman suffering from PP? It's terrible. My kids thrived in daycare and they are teenagers now, doing quite well. My health and happiness needs to come first in order to be a good mom. People don't think this, but it's true...at least for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here goes. I don't think infants should be in daycare (unless the family truly can't cover the basics without two incomes).

Agree but I don't say a word to a living soul to anyone about this.

I also agree.

You know .. I also agree.

Me too. I worked in the infant room at a daycare when I was in college and that cemented my opinion. It was a great facility and the babies were very well cared for but there was no way I would do that to my kids unless I absolutely had to.

+1. I worked in college at the daycare for children of faculty. Wonderful facility. If I had to, I would send my children there, without question. But I did feel very sorry for those kids, and the parents. SUCH long days for those kids. Some dropped off by 7am, and picked up after 6pm. It was sad to see the looks on parents' faces when they arrived for pickup and their kids were already asleep.

Same with me. I worked in three great daycare centers in college and remained at one of them after I graduated to teach in the kindergarten room. Despite working in what anyone would consider a very high quality center, it convinced me that there was no way I would ever put my baby in daycare.

Anonymous wrote:Being a SAHM was a direct contribution to my postpartum depression. I regret it so, so much.

I ended up getting a job at Starbucks (I was a white collar professional) to get out of the house. We didn't need the money and people looked at me sideways for sending the kids to daycare, but it was the smartest decision I ever made. It saved my life.

I don't work at Starbucks anymore (back in my pre-children field), but I always tip extra when I go.

Whenever a mom who can afford daycare complains about staying home, I just shrug. Because if it was as bad as it was for me, you would get a job at pizza hut even if you DH was making 500K a year.

When i hear about a mom who would rather work at Pizza Hut than take care of her own child - with a husband that makes $500K/year or not - i think that this is someone who probably shouldn't be a mom. My unpopular opinion? that is just really sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I dream of moving to Kansas City or Grand Rapids and buying a 4,000 square foot McMansion for $350K.

Try $250,000.

I bought an old mansion in Upstate NY for much, much less than $100,000. I have 1.5 acres, a pond, barn, and a 22 room house. Not to mention a great public school and beautiful mountain views. It is my utopia.

We bought our retirement home in Florida. It's on the water. I can walk out of my back door onto my boat. It's about fifteen minutes from the beach. It's about 3000 square feet. Four bedrooms. All stucco. $215,000. Prices have gone up in our neighborhood since then. My house would sell for around $260,000 today. I'm still amazed at the price and we bought it four years ago. I can't wait to live there full time.

How much is the insurance?

Surprisingly low. The house is south of Jacksonville (on the Inter-coastal near Ponte Vedra) and we aren't quite as hurricane prone as other parts of the state. We have a lot of wind resistive construction features in our home that saved us a ton on insurance. Flood insurance wasn't nearly as expensive as we expected. We researched very carefully before purchasing. We were in coastal Mississippi during Katrina and Rita. And I grew up in Hawaii and was their during Ewa. We are all too familiar with the devastating effects of hurricanes. Still totally worth it.

I think the Car Seat Brigade is off their rockers. They want a level of safety that is unattainable and not worth it.....boosters until a kid is 10, no coats in cars, rearfacing until 4.

Meanwhile they do things everyday that are much more dangerous than riding around with a kid in a front facing car seat with a coat on.