Anonymous
Post 06/12/2021 17:08     Subject: Re:How to filter for men who have or will have high incomes
I am a woman, 3.5mm net assets (multi-unit real estate), 0.5mm debt, $250K annual income (around $190K net after taxes). I am single.

Am I considered "wealthy" by this thread standards?
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2021 14:09     Subject: How to filter for men who have or will have high incomes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you're dating, how can you filter for men who either have a good income or will be making so in a few years?

I work in non-profits so all the men I meet are in similar salary range to me. (60k-110k) I'd like to see if I can swing higher.


As a father of young girl, threads like this are depressing. Why do you sell yourself so short?


I hear what you are saying about wanting more for yourself but the responses from men on here has been disheartening to me as a mom of daughter(s). Have you read responses from some men who write about wanting women who are in the 50's mold? This is depressing to me. Like WTF, haven't we moved on from that mindset yet?
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2021 13:47     Subject: How to filter for men who have or will have high incomes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry to say but high earning men do the filtering...not you. If they decide to find you, they will. If you're not attractive or also a high earner, then your odds are slim.


+1. High value men know a monkey brancher (the women looking to swing higher, focused on a man's wallet) when they see one, too. They aren't looking for you, OP. They want a woman who is above all feminine, pretty, in shape, cooperative, inspirational and friendly. A woman who makes their non-work hours peaceful. These type of men work hard all day, they do not want to come home to the second job of competing against you in every little thing. The truly high-value man doesn't care about your money, or your job. He has his own money. Women control access to relationships, but men control access to marriage. He holds the keys.


So… like an air hostess? LOL

What would you like to drink, sir? I’ll help you with that bag, sir. The seatbelt sign is on now.


I know right. Some of these men should actually read what they write. They want a woman who will shut up and sit down when told to do so. It's OK for the men to find women who will shut and and sit down and look pretty but it's not OK for a woman to look for financial prospects in a man. It's a one way street.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2021 13:07     Subject: How to filter for men who have or will have high incomes
Anonymous wrote:I find this thread comical. I'm married now with kids. But, when I was in college and throughout my 20s and early 30s I never told women I dated how much I was worth.

My parents are worth over $60 million. We have a very large real estate empire in the area. But, we don't look the part. My parents started with nothing and worked 14 hour days when I was a kid. Example: I played sports for eight years (high school and college). They never saw me play ONCE and I did track and field, wrestling, and football.

Anyway, it's funny because so many women want to find rich guys. After college I took a $50k corporate job. Bought my own townhouse with my salary, car, etc. I never took money from my parents. Then I became a fireman. I dated a few women but never told them my family was wealthy.

When I met the women I was going to marry I resigned from the fire department and returned to work for my family's business. Now, I'm a partner in the firm that oversees all my family's properties. I live in McLean in a 6000sqft house. My wife and I both drive $50k cars (nothing too fancy) and our kids to go private school. I have two weekend homes. One on the water in the Southern Maryland and a country home in the Shenandoah Valley.

Moral of the story? There isn't one. You won't know who's actually wealthy because most wealthy people don't act or dress like it. My family has a friend who lives in PA. His net worth is $200 million. He owns over 20 strip centers from NY to NC. He drives a 20 year old Honda CRV (not joking) and he refills plastic water bottles with well water from his house instead of buying bottle water. He shops at normal department stores for clothes.

Enjoy trying to find men who are "wealthy"


I find this to be comical. My husband is from a wealthy family, I’m from a very well off family and one of my parents is from a very wealthy family with a weird dynamic like yours, and this parent could not be less materialistic. Still, it’s obvious when someone doesn’t have to worry about money or student debt, and I’m sure the women you dated knew you came from money even when you were a firefighter/entry level corporate cog living in a townhouse. In my case, it was very obvious when people came from a similar, wealthier or less wealthy background than I did. It didn’t affect who I dated or fell in love with- and I certainly didn’t tell any boyfriends about my trust fund- but you’re delusional if you think it wasn’t obvious.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2021 12:59     Subject: How to filter for men who have or will have high incomes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am really surprised how much men seem to resent women wanting to marry partners who can provide for their families, but never resent other men who expect a certain aesthetic from their partners? It seems inconsistent since anyone can make money but not everyone is naturally beautiful (but no one tells men who want a beautiful wife to get plastic surgery themselves...) I feel like in the same way it’s as easy to fall for a beautiful person as a plain one, it’s as easy to fall in love with a wealthy person as a poor one .


Well you’re a tad dishonest. The discussion hasn’t been about women wanting men who can provide for their families. It’s about women who want men who can provide Porsches.


Where did the OP say that? She says above $110k. Around here, that is provide for their families.


Ah, the ladies of DCUM, who claim $100k can’t keep a roof over your heads. No, you simply don’t get the roof you may want.


Ok, so tell me why it’s ok to select for the breast size and hair color you want and not the roof? Or to say something like you won’t date overweight women but not that you won’t date men who have low salaries in a high COL area?


“Why it’s ok” ... This must be a female thing to care more about the acceptance of your peers than whether your plan to date only McMansion owners actually works. For men, any plan to date only supermodels usually doesn’t work, so we abandon that plan and date non-supermodels.


It’s not our peers. I assure you no woman who says to her friends “I want to make sure I date a guy with a solid career” is being judged. It’s the men here flipping out that I don’t understand. Supermodels would be approximately as unlikely as billionaires, but plenty of men want to (and expect to) date a slim woman, for example, even though the national average is not slim. What is the difference for wanting above-average salary than below-average weight? I’m struggling to see how it isn’t just a blend of insecurity and misogyny.


+1. In a society where the lions share of child rearing and housework falls upon women, it is not a crime to value a partner in raising that family who will have a stable career. In many scenarios women’s careers will stall once they have kids because they become the default parent and have a lack of flexibility at work. Men in their dating years should realize this, own up to it, or plan to sacrifice their own career to be the default parent. A true partnership requires this kind of foresight.

It’s one thing if OP is a shameless gold digger only looking for whatever man makes 1m+ a year. It’s quite another to simply be looking for someone with a good work ethic who will be a reliable partner in raising a family. Having a decent income makes marriage easier and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to find someone on the same page about what constitutes that.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2021 12:16     Subject: How to filter for men who have or will have high incomes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am really surprised how much men seem to resent women wanting to marry partners who can provide for their families, but never resent other men who expect a certain aesthetic from their partners? It seems inconsistent since anyone can make money but not everyone is naturally beautiful (but no one tells men who want a beautiful wife to get plastic surgery themselves...) I feel like in the same way it’s as easy to fall for a beautiful person as a plain one, it’s as easy to fall in love with a wealthy person as a poor one .


Well you’re a tad dishonest. The discussion hasn’t been about women wanting men who can provide for their families. It’s about women who want men who can provide Porsches.


Where did the OP say that? She says above $110k. Around here, that is provide for their families.


Ah, the ladies of DCUM, who claim $100k can’t keep a roof over your heads. No, you simply don’t get the roof you may want.


Ok, so tell me why it’s ok to select for the breast size and hair color you want and not the roof? Or to say something like you won’t date overweight women but not that you won’t date men who have low salaries in a high COL area?


“Why it’s ok” ... This must be a female thing to care more about the acceptance of your peers than whether your plan to date only McMansion owners actually works. For men, any plan to date only supermodels usually doesn’t work, so we abandon that plan and date non-supermodels.


It’s not our peers. I assure you no woman who says to her friends “I want to make sure I date a guy with a solid career” is being judged. It’s the men here flipping out that I don’t understand. Supermodels would be approximately as unlikely as billionaires, but plenty of men want to (and expect to) date a slim woman, for example, even though the national average is not slim. What is the difference for wanting above-average salary than below-average weight? I’m struggling to see how it isn’t just a blend of insecurity and misogyny.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2021 12:05     Subject: Re:How to filter for men who have or will have high incomes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I hid my light under a bushel for a few years while dating and saw the bad ones fall away. The keeper now lives in a 5-6 million dollar home, has a beach house, staff and a husband who makes 2-4 million a year. I also do most of the cooking. Cleaning is outsourced. My wife does all the scheduling and with 4 kids, it can be a real head ache. Still. Some patience and focus on character paid off.


Hid your light under a bushel??



It is a reference to a biblical parable, but common usage: not crowing about success/talent.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2021 11:41     Subject: How to filter for men who have or will have high incomes
Anonymous wrote:If you're dating, how can you filter for men who either have a good income or will be making so in a few years?

I work in non-profits so all the men I meet are in similar salary range to me. (60k-110k) I'd like to see if I can swing higher.


As a father of young girl, threads like this are depressing. Why do you sell yourself so short?
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2021 11:39     Subject: Re:How to filter for men who have or will have high incomes
McMansion couples seem to be in a whole other category of dating norms in terms of their value systems. OP, Great Falls or Chantilly may be your best bet....
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2021 10:27     Subject: How to filter for men who have or will have high incomes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am really surprised how much men seem to resent women wanting to marry partners who can provide for their families, but never resent other men who expect a certain aesthetic from their partners? It seems inconsistent since anyone can make money but not everyone is naturally beautiful (but no one tells men who want a beautiful wife to get plastic surgery themselves...) I feel like in the same way it’s as easy to fall for a beautiful person as a plain one, it’s as easy to fall in love with a wealthy person as a poor one .


Well you’re a tad dishonest. The discussion hasn’t been about women wanting men who can provide for their families. It’s about women who want men who can provide Porsches.


Where did the OP say that? She says above $110k. Around here, that is provide for their families.


Ah, the ladies of DCUM, who claim $100k can’t keep a roof over your heads. No, you simply don’t get the roof you may want.


Ok, so tell me why it’s ok to select for the breast size and hair color you want and not the roof? Or to say something like you won’t date overweight women but not that you won’t date men who have low salaries in a high COL area?


“Why it’s ok” ... This must be a female thing to care more about the acceptance of your peers than whether your plan to date only McMansion owners actually works. For men, any plan to date only supermodels usually doesn’t work, so we abandon that plan and date non-supermodels.
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2021 07:54     Subject: How to filter for men who have or will have high incomes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am really surprised how much men seem to resent women wanting to marry partners who can provide for their families, but never resent other men who expect a certain aesthetic from their partners? It seems inconsistent since anyone can make money but not everyone is naturally beautiful (but no one tells men who want a beautiful wife to get plastic surgery themselves...) I feel like in the same way it’s as easy to fall for a beautiful person as a plain one, it’s as easy to fall in love with a wealthy person as a poor one .


Well you’re a tad dishonest. The discussion hasn’t been about women wanting men who can provide for their families. It’s about women who want men who can provide Porsches.


Where did the OP say that? She says above $110k. Around here, that is provide for their families.


Ah, the ladies of DCUM, who claim $100k can’t keep a roof over your heads. No, you simply don’t get the roof you may want.


Ok, so tell me why it’s ok to select for the breast size and hair color you want and not the roof? Or to say something like you won’t date overweight women but not that you won’t date men who have low salaries in a high COL area?
Anonymous
Post 06/12/2021 07:49     Subject: How to filter for men who have or will have high incomes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am really surprised how much men seem to resent women wanting to marry partners who can provide for their families, but never resent other men who expect a certain aesthetic from their partners? It seems inconsistent since anyone can make money but not everyone is naturally beautiful (but no one tells men who want a beautiful wife to get plastic surgery themselves...) I feel like in the same way it’s as easy to fall for a beautiful person as a plain one, it’s as easy to fall in love with a wealthy person as a poor one .


Well you’re a tad dishonest. The discussion hasn’t been about women wanting men who can provide for their families. It’s about women who want men who can provide Porsches.


Where did the OP say that? She says above $110k. Around here, that is provide for their families.


Ah, the ladies of DCUM, who claim $100k can’t keep a roof over your heads. No, you simply don’t get the roof you may want.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2021 21:18     Subject: Re:How to filter for men who have or will have high incomes
I think wealth is a matter of perception. What do you consider "wealthy"? His salary or the net worth?
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2021 20:24     Subject: How to filter for men who have or will have high incomes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am really surprised how much men seem to resent women wanting to marry partners who can provide for their families, but never resent other men who expect a certain aesthetic from their partners? It seems inconsistent since anyone can make money but not everyone is naturally beautiful (but no one tells men who want a beautiful wife to get plastic surgery themselves...) I feel like in the same way it’s as easy to fall for a beautiful person as a plain one, it’s as easy to fall in love with a wealthy person as a poor one .


Well you’re a tad dishonest. The discussion hasn’t been about women wanting men who can provide for their families. It’s about women who want men who can provide Porsches.


Where did the OP say that? She says above $110k. Around here, that is provide for their families.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2021 20:19     Subject: How to filter for men who have or will have high incomes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Definitely not at a not for profit. 😆
How about upping your skills and being successful on your own. Success gets success!

You’re not very well-educated about nonprofits. I make $325k at a national nonprofit and will be retiring very comfortably at 53.


So that’s where all the money goes