Anonymous
Post 06/04/2021 07:00     Subject: Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?
You're a mid-30s divorcee with kids. YOU aren't a catch.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2021 06:20     Subject: Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?
Anonymous wrote:Thank goodness I'm married. After reading DCUM posts, I don't think I could handle the modern dating world.

I fell in love at 19. I had no clue what my future DH would ultimately earn, nor did I care. Fast forward 25+ years, and I out-earn him by $100k. NBD. I value him for the kind husband, father, and person he is. And, he's only 5'8" to boot.

I don't mean to be harsh, OP, but your checklist will prevent you from finding a partner. I have to wonder if you even really want a new partner given the barriers you are throwing up. Why do you really want a partner? Do you even want to remarry someday? Do you truly want to build a marriage and blended family with someone new?

It seems like you need to eliminate anyone who wants their own kids since you can't provide that. That leaves you with men who don't want their own kids but will tolerate your kids (assuming you eventually want to incorporate him into your family life...but perhaps you don't). Maybe you really just want a very independent boyfriend who will hang out and travel with you when you don't have the kids? Try to find someone who values independence then.

And remember: if you have criteria, so do they. An aging woman with kids, an ex, and strong expectations about income likely isn't going to be a catch.


Did you even read OP's post? She's happy to date divorced me who have children. She just doesn't want to have more children herself.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2021 22:52     Subject: Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?
Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2021 21:27     Subject: Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Move to Miami


Harder market for older moms who are seeking the top %. Her competition goes from nerdy girl next door lawyers to Brazilian supermodels who speak 4 languages.


Hey maybe OP is both?
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2021 21:20     Subject: Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?
Thank goodness I'm married. After reading DCUM posts, I don't think I could handle the modern dating world.

I fell in love at 19. I had no clue what my future DH would ultimately earn, nor did I care. Fast forward 25+ years, and I out-earn him by $100k. NBD. I value him for the kind husband, father, and person he is. And, he's only 5'8" to boot.

I don't mean to be harsh, OP, but your checklist will prevent you from finding a partner. I have to wonder if you even really want a new partner given the barriers you are throwing up. Why do you really want a partner? Do you even want to remarry someday? Do you truly want to build a marriage and blended family with someone new?

It seems like you need to eliminate anyone who wants their own kids since you can't provide that. That leaves you with men who don't want their own kids but will tolerate your kids (assuming you eventually want to incorporate him into your family life...but perhaps you don't). Maybe you really just want a very independent boyfriend who will hang out and travel with you when you don't have the kids? Try to find someone who values independence then.

And remember: if you have criteria, so do they. An aging woman with kids, an ex, and strong expectations about income likely isn't going to be a catch.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2021 21:14     Subject: Re:Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'd meet the income, height etc requirements ... but I'd be a little weirded out that the income is a 'requirement' ... and go with someone else. (married, so it's all hypothetical)


I’m sure OP isn’t presenting it that way, lol. It’s not like she’s asking suitors to fill out an application form. At some point early in dating you discuss jobs. Totally normal.


Discuss jobs, sure. But until we’re pretty much living together, no, she doesn’t get to know what I make.


If you know a title and employer you know enough to know if a person is your income peer or way off of it.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2021 21:13     Subject: Re:Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'd meet the income, height etc requirements ... but I'd be a little weirded out that the income is a 'requirement' ... and go with someone else. (married, so it's all hypothetical)


I’m sure OP isn’t presenting it that way, lol. It’s not like she’s asking suitors to fill out an application form. At some point early in dating you discuss jobs. Totally normal.


Discuss jobs, sure. But until we’re pretty much living together, no, she doesn’t get to know what I make.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2021 20:28     Subject: Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?


If you're just looking to date someone for fun, OP, and plan on taking expensive trips with this person, why don't you relax your standards a bit for the rest?

Perhaps he can be a bit younger, perhaps he can be a bit shorter, perhaps the kid situation doesn't matter since you're not going to marry him and have kids with him... see what I mean?

All you want is someone who can pay his way and who is reasonably attractive. Surely you can find that.

I have my "top" standards, which my DH attained, and then I have my "relaxed" standards, which my boyfriends attained. Each of them were completely different from each other, except they all had a sense of humor and made me laugh.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2021 19:23     Subject: Re:Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?
Anonymous wrote:I'd meet the income, height etc requirements ... but I'd be a little weirded out that the income is a 'requirement' ... and go with someone else. (married, so it's all hypothetical)


I’m sure OP isn’t presenting it that way, lol. It’s not like she’s asking suitors to fill out an application form. At some point early in dating you discuss jobs. Totally normal.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2021 19:20     Subject: Re:Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?
I'd meet the income, height etc requirements ... but I'd be a little weirded out that the income is a 'requirement' ... and go with someone else. (married, so it's all hypothetical)
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2021 19:01     Subject: Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?
I'm your age with 2 kids, and I found the perfect guy for me to date. He doesn't meet your height and income requirements, but he's just a great all around guy. If I wouldn't have given him a chance, I would have missed out!
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2021 18:41     Subject: Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I fit your profile exactly, except of course I am married with kids. I don't think the income issue in and of itself is a problem, but you have two very conflicting requirements that make it, imo, basically impossible. First, just to let you know, most guys don't want a woman with kids. It's icky. But the kids is really where the conflict comes in. The guy is supposed to be okay with YOUR kids but not want any of his OWN kids. That's just absolutely nuts and you will never find that. UNLESS, the guy already HAS his own kids, in which case at the income level you are asking, he will be paying substantial child support and/or alimony (think like 20% of his pretax income plus daycare/medical/whatever). So he really needs to be making about 350k pre-child support/alimony at a minimum. And you're then assuming that this person would want to get together with you and help support YOUR kids too. I just don't see that happening for an older woman like yourself. Maybe if you were 25 and an absolute knock out...maybe... but still highly unlikely


There's another recent thread along these lines and people got pissy at me for telling the OP essentially this. OP wants what they can't give.

Stop asking for no baggage when you have a complete luggage set.


OP is fine with the guy having kids of his own. She just doesn't want to have any more kids. Lots of divorced guys with kids would be happy about that. The problem with women of childbearing age without kids is that they typically either want kids or could change their mind and want them later. Or if they really don't want to have kids, then they don't want a guy with kids either. Same reason I think OP won't have much luck with guys who don't have kids. They'll either look for a woman without kids to have kids with, or they don't want kids and don't want anyone else's kids either. Same with women without kids. I never would have dated a guy with kids back when I was single and childless. I'm still married so no dog in this fight, but OP's expectations don't seem unrealistic to me if she sticks to divorced guys with kids.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2021 18:39     Subject: Re:Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?
OP - what is an "overgrown lax bros" and why are they so bad? It seems like telling a 35 year old woman that she looks too young to have kids would be a nice compliment, especially coming from someone who meets the other criteria. Can you explain the context?
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2021 18:15     Subject: Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP is not talking about dating a divorced guy who’s salary is $250k /year.

Divorced bachelors must make at least $500k + per year to satisfy her, since half goes to the bachelor's ex wife.


Only marital assets are divided (halvesies) in a divorce.
Income is NOT a marital asset, therefore income does NOT get split in divorce!!!


People’s assets are created through their income... so...???

They intertwine!


You do not get it. Income after a divorce is NOT split.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2021 16:36     Subject: Re:Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?
Anonymous wrote:This isn't real, right?



I mean...this isn't real, guys, right???


I'm a recently divorced, good looking guy who makes about 175. Yes I pay child support/alimony but I do just fine.

LOL at this lady and her "250 after everything" demand. Legit lol, and makes me think the whole post is trolling.