Anonymous wrote:Why do you think she’s an underachiever? What would she need to do to achieve?

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Anonymous wrote:Your daughter sounds like mine. I know what you’re talking about OP. She isn’t underachieving compared to a full class of peers per se. Many parents commended my daughters grades in high school. But I knew she was underachieving her potential. Her work ethic is about 50-70% of what mine was. She could really be at the top if she applied herself - in everything -school, sports teams ECs. But alas she relies on her smarts do to ‘well enough’ in her mind and that’s just how she is wired. She had similar stats slightly higher ACT and got 20-25k from LMU GW and Santa Clara.

So for you parents who expect your kids to be extraordinary and 100 percent max out their potential, are you yourself extraordinary? Have you maxed out your potential? What have you achieved (and if you are so great why can’t you afford full pay?)

I am not extraordinary. I came from an immigrant family, US cultural norms were completely foreign to my foreign born parents, and English was not my first language, I would say that I took advantage of every opportunity given to me, said yes to two assignments to live in Europe during my career, and now I’m at the top of my field. I would say that yes I have fully maxed my potential. My DC is far far more intelligent, has many more natural gifts, I wish I had her brain. She could apply herself more. This is different than Grinding It Out (as another PP asserted) - there is a difference between applying yourself and striving. But that isn’t who she is and it isn’t her path. She’s at a T25 school and this is fine. She received merit, in helpful response Op, but we didn’t need it, we are full pay.

Mmm, sounds like you underachieved in parenting. You should have applied yourself harder to instill a stronger work ethic.

Ugh, PP. Are you a Tiger Mom?

The previous PP sounds like a great parent! She acknowledges her child for who she is, and lets her be what she wants to be. That's freedom, and so important to living a happy life.

I cringe at all the parents who post on DCUM saying their kid is majoring in a "worthless" major like art history or philosophy, or worse, the parents who REFUSE to pay for their kids college if they don't major in something "practical" like CS or business.

Kids who do what their parents want them to do end up profoundly unhappy because they don't know themselves and aren't following their "passion," whatever that may be.

I have an underachieving kid who is exceptionally smart, but works only hard enough to get by (and by "getting by" I mean B+/A- in most classes). I wish I had my kid's brain too. I have to work twice as hard as she does to arrive at the same place. But my kid does not want to be a top anything. She's happy being who she is, and I have to accept her the way she is. If I had her brain, I'd go as far as I could, but she doesn't want to work that hard. I have to accept her choice to do what she wants. It's her life, not mine.

I think the point just flew over your head there.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter sounds like mine. I know what you’re talking about OP. She isn’t underachieving compared to a full class of peers per se. Many parents commended my daughters grades in high school. But I knew she was underachieving her potential. Her work ethic is about 50-70% of what mine was. She could really be at the top if she applied herself - in everything -school, sports teams ECs. But alas she relies on her smarts do to ‘well enough’ in her mind and that’s just how she is wired. She had similar stats slightly higher ACT and got 20-25k from LMU GW and Santa Clara.

So for you parents who expect your kids to be extraordinary and 100 percent max out their potential, are you yourself extraordinary? Have you maxed out your potential? What have you achieved (and if you are so great why can’t you afford full pay?)

I am not extraordinary. I came from an immigrant family, US cultural norms were completely foreign to my foreign born parents, and English was not my first language, I would say that I took advantage of every opportunity given to me, said yes to two assignments to live in Europe during my career, and now I’m at the top of my field. I would say that yes I have fully maxed my potential. My DC is far far more intelligent, has many more natural gifts, I wish I had her brain. She could apply herself more. This is different than Grinding It Out (as another PP asserted) - there is a difference between applying yourself and striving. But that isn’t who she is and it isn’t her path. She’s at a T25 school and this is fine. She received merit, in helpful response Op, but we didn’t need it, we are full pay.

Mmm, sounds like you underachieved in parenting. You should have applied yourself harder to instill a stronger work ethic.

Ugh, PP. Are you a Tiger Mom?

The previous PP sounds like a great parent! She acknowledges her child for who she is, and lets her be what she wants to be. That's freedom, and so important to living a happy life.

I cringe at all the parents who post on DCUM saying their kid is majoring in a "worthless" major like art history or philosophy, or worse, the parents who REFUSE to pay for their kids college if they don't major in something "practical" like CS or business.

Kids who do what their parents want them to do end up profoundly unhappy because they don't know themselves and aren't following their "passion," whatever that may be.

I have an underachieving kid who is exceptionally smart, but works only hard enough to get by (and by "getting by" I mean B+/A- in most classes). I wish I had my kid's brain too. I have to work twice as hard as she does to arrive at the same place. But my kid does not want to be a top anything. She's happy being who she is, and I have to accept her the way she is. If I had her brain, I'd go as far as I could, but she doesn't want to work that hard. I have to accept her choice to do what she wants. It's her life, not mine.

I think the point just flew over your head there.

Anonymous wrote:Grinnell seems like a very obvious choice.

Also check Carleton and Macalester? I'm not sure whether they offer merit aid to the same extent.

Many of the CTCL colleges offer a ton of merit aid and also will be good cultural and intellectual first. Some have been mentioned.

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Anonymous wrote:St Joe's
Dayton
St. Mary's College

Dayton is a hardcore party school, I don’t picture OPs kid there

OMG! I don’t think you understand “hardcore party” if you think Dayton is one.

+1000 that is most certainly not Dayton. So strange that anyone could think that.

Oh yes, catholic school kids would never join frats and party all week long in “the ghetto.” They most certainly spend all of their time attending mass, studying, and helping their fellow man.

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Anonymous wrote:Your daughter sounds like mine. I know what you’re talking about OP. She isn’t underachieving compared to a full class of peers per se. Many parents commended my daughters grades in high school. But I knew she was underachieving her potential. Her work ethic is about 50-70% of what mine was. She could really be at the top if she applied herself - in everything -school, sports teams ECs. But alas she relies on her smarts do to ‘well enough’ in her mind and that’s just how she is wired. She had similar stats slightly higher ACT and got 20-25k from LMU GW and Santa Clara.

So for you parents who expect your kids to be extraordinary and 100 percent max out their potential, are you yourself extraordinary? Have you maxed out your potential? What have you achieved (and if you are so great why can’t you afford full pay?)

I am not extraordinary. I came from an immigrant family, US cultural norms were completely foreign to my foreign born parents, and English was not my first language, I would say that I took advantage of every opportunity given to me, said yes to two assignments to live in Europe during my career, and now I’m at the top of my field. I would say that yes I have fully maxed my potential. My DC is far far more intelligent, has many more natural gifts, I wish I had her brain. She could apply herself more. This is different than Grinding It Out (as another PP asserted) - there is a difference between applying yourself and striving. But that isn’t who she is and it isn’t her path. She’s at a T25 school and this is fine. She received merit, in helpful response Op, but we didn’t need it, we are full pay.

Mmm, sounds like you underachieved in parenting. You should have applied yourself harder to instill a stronger work ethic.

Ugh, PP. Are you a Tiger Mom?

The previous PP sounds like a great parent! She acknowledges her child for who she is, and lets her be what she wants to be. That's freedom, and so important to living a happy life.

I cringe at all the parents who post on DCUM saying their kid is majoring in a "worthless" major like art history or philosophy, or worse, the parents who REFUSE to pay for their kids college if they don't major in something "practical" like CS or business.

Kids who do what their parents want them to do end up profoundly unhappy because they don't know themselves and aren't following their "passion," whatever that may be.

I have an underachieving kid who is exceptionally smart, but works only hard enough to get by (and by "getting by" I mean B+/A- in most classes). I wish I had my kid's brain too. I have to work twice as hard as she does to arrive at the same place. But my kid does not want to be a top anything. She's happy being who she is, and I have to accept her the way she is. If I had her brain, I'd go as far as I could, but she doesn't want to work that hard. I have to accept her choice to do what she wants. It's her life, not mine.

Anonymous wrote:I'm looking for smallish colleges that will offer enough merit aid to equal in-state tuition, which is all we can afford. We're not eligible for enough FA to equal in-state costs.
My kid has a 1500 on the SAT (took it once), a 3.87 unweighted, two 5s on the APs she took last year, and is taking 5 APs this year.
She's extremely well-read, well-versed in politics, thoughtful, wise beyond her years, and cynical.
She loves to talk about politics and movies with her friends, cooks a little and plays one sport fairly well.
She's 16 and a junior at a good public she doesn't appreciate. She wants to study math and political science at a smallish college.
Here's my list of colleges for her to apply to (she has no list!!): Pitt, U Richmond, Ursinus, Davidson, U of Mary Washington, Gettysburg, Lafayette, Tulane.
Can anyone suggest other similar schools that might offer substantial merit to a kid with her stats and basically no ECs?

Please, no snark. My kid is delightful and fun to be around, not entitled, but she doesn't push herself at all. Drives me crazy, but I can't say this to her. So I'm saying it here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter sounds like mine. I know what you’re talking about OP. She isn’t underachieving compared to a full class of peers per se. Many parents commended my daughters grades in high school. But I knew she was underachieving her potential. Her work ethic is about 50-70% of what mine was. She could really be at the top if she applied herself - in everything -school, sports teams ECs. But alas she relies on her smarts do to ‘well enough’ in her mind and that’s just how she is wired. She had similar stats slightly higher ACT and got 20-25k from LMU GW and Santa Clara.

So for you parents who expect your kids to be extraordinary and 100 percent max out their potential, are you yourself extraordinary? Have you maxed out your potential? What have you achieved (and if you are so great why can’t you afford full pay?)

I am not extraordinary. I came from an immigrant family, US cultural norms were completely foreign to my foreign born parents, and English was not my first language, I would say that I took advantage of every opportunity given to me, said yes to two assignments to live in Europe during my career, and now I’m at the top of my field. I would say that yes I have fully maxed my potential. My DC is far far more intelligent, has many more natural gifts, I wish I had her brain. She could apply herself more. This is different than Grinding It Out (as another PP asserted) - there is a difference between applying yourself and striving. But that isn’t who she is and it isn’t her path. She’s at a T25 school and this is fine. She received merit, in helpful response Op, but we didn’t need it, we are full pay.

Mmm, sounds like you underachieved in parenting. You should have applied yourself harder to instill a stronger work ethic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter sounds like mine. I know what you’re talking about OP. She isn’t underachieving compared to a full class of peers per se. Many parents commended my daughters grades in high school. But I knew she was underachieving her potential. Her work ethic is about 50-70% of what mine was. She could really be at the top if she applied herself - in everything -school, sports teams ECs. But alas she relies on her smarts do to ‘well enough’ in her mind and that’s just how she is wired. She had similar stats slightly higher ACT and got 20-25k from LMU GW and Santa Clara.

So for you parents who expect your kids to be extraordinary and 100 percent max out their potential, are you yourself extraordinary? Have you maxed out your potential? What have you achieved (and if you are so great why can’t you afford full pay?)

I am not extraordinary. I came from an immigrant family, US cultural norms were completely foreign to my foreign born parents, and English was not my first language, I would say that I took advantage of every opportunity given to me, said yes to two assignments to live in Europe during my career, and now I’m at the top of my field. I would say that yes I have fully maxed my potential. My DC is far far more intelligent, has many more natural gifts, I wish I had her brain. She could apply herself more. This is different than Grinding It Out (as another PP asserted) - there is a difference between applying yourself and striving. But that isn’t who she is and it isn’t her path. She’s at a T25 school and this is fine. She received merit, in helpful response Op, but we didn’t need it, we are full pay.