Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK, worst place I ever worked, here was the culture:

- Most staff were hired based on personal relationships. Meaning that a significant portion of the staff were related to, lived with, friends with, the former nanny of, etc. of someone in a hiring position. I did not get my job this way and went through a formal interview process. It quickly became clear that this made me a second class employee.

- Rampant gossip culture, which is not surprising when half the staff live together, are married to, have prior friendships with, are related to, etc one another. It wasn't water cooler gossip -- that can be bad but not nearly as bad as this. Nope, this was senior management gossiping with rank and file staff about other members of rank and file staff during off hours while socializing. There was no sense among management that this might be unprofessional or detrimental to work culture -- several of them drove the gossipy culture and actively encouraged it because they believed it was a good way for them to know what was going on with their employees.

- No formal policies for resolving internal conflict. Everything was handled ad hoc, whether it was someone interested in a promotion or a complaint of harassment against someone in the organization. A somewhat nebulous group of managers (some were constant and had formal titles, others were not technically management but were personally close to the people in management and therefore included in these decisions sometimes for unclear reasons) would discuss the issue, often outside of work, and then make decisions that were communicated with as much opacity as possible, like via a single email from a low level manager with no explanation. You couldn't complain because it was never clear who had made the decision or why. So what people would do instead is complain to coworkers, and which would inevitably get fed back to managers via the gossip loop described above, which would result in yet another secret ad hoc decision, and so on and so forth. Just delightful.

There's more but those are the high points. This was also a place that like to say, constantly, "We're a family!" and "We take care of each other." I spent about 6 years there, somehow, largely because I really passionately loved my actual job and my clients. Now when I think back on those years, I can't believe I stayed as long as I did. I think I had Stockholm syndrome. I think the people I worked with who are still there, years later, definitely do. I think most of the manager there have personality disorders.

Company name start with 'D'?

Anonymous wrote:IM is the devil.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was told that if I were sick or on vacation I still needed to check email/voicemail at least once a day. When I joked about being on a Caribbean island vacation, they said that's why I would need to get an international phone plan. On Day 1 I told them there was a date 6 months out where I would be out because of a wedding I was in (out of town). They said they could not grant me the day off because there was an important annual meeting that day. This was before I had kids and a huge red flag about how they would be if my children were sick, had an event, emergency, etc. Boss would IM us every hour to make sure we were at our desk, even though we had meetings all day with people throughout the company. (Most of us had 10+ yrs experience with Masters degrees).

So what does the boss do that allows for IMing staff every hour and waiting for reply? Just sits at a desk?

Worked remotely - we were at HQ he was remote. Super micromanager.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was told that if I were sick or on vacation I still needed to check email/voicemail at least once a day. When I joked about being on a Caribbean island vacation, they said that's why I would need to get an international phone plan. On Day 1 I told them there was a date 6 months out where I would be out because of a wedding I was in (out of town). They said they could not grant me the day off because there was an important annual meeting that day. This was before I had kids and a huge red flag about how they would be if my children were sick, had an event, emergency, etc. Boss would IM us every hour to make sure we were at our desk, even though we had meetings all day with people throughout the company. (Most of us had 10+ yrs experience with Masters degrees).

So what does the boss do that allows for IMing staff every hour and waiting for reply? Just sits at a desk?

Anonymous wrote:I was told that if I were sick or on vacation I still needed to check email/voicemail at least once a day. When I joked about being on a Caribbean island vacation, they said that's why I would need to get an international phone plan. On Day 1 I told them there was a date 6 months out where I would be out because of a wedding I was in (out of town). They said they could not grant me the day off because there was an important annual meeting that day. This was before I had kids and a huge red flag about how they would be if my children were sick, had an event, emergency, etc. Boss would IM us every hour to make sure we were at our desk, even though we had meetings all day with people throughout the company. (Most of us had 10+ yrs experience with Masters degrees).

Anonymous wrote:OK, worst place I ever worked, here was the culture:

- Most staff were hired based on personal relationships. Meaning that a significant portion of the staff were related to, lived with, friends with, the former nanny of, etc. of someone in a hiring position. I did not get my job this way and went through a formal interview process. It quickly became clear that this made me a second class employee.

- Rampant gossip culture, which is not surprising when half the staff live together, are married to, have prior friendships with, are related to, etc one another. It wasn't water cooler gossip -- that can be bad but not nearly as bad as this. Nope, this was senior management gossiping with rank and file staff about other members of rank and file staff during off hours while socializing. There was no sense among management that this might be unprofessional or detrimental to work culture -- several of them drove the gossipy culture and actively encouraged it because they believed it was a good way for them to know what was going on with their employees.

- No formal policies for resolving internal conflict. Everything was handled ad hoc, whether it was someone interested in a promotion or a complaint of harassment against someone in the organization. A somewhat nebulous group of managers (some were constant and had formal titles, others were not technically management but were personally close to the people in management and therefore included in these decisions sometimes for unclear reasons) would discuss the issue, often outside of work, and then make decisions that were communicated with as much opacity as possible, like via a single email from a low level manager with no explanation. You couldn't complain because it was never clear who had made the decision or why. So what people would do instead is complain to coworkers, and which would inevitably get fed back to managers via the gossip loop described above, which would result in yet another secret ad hoc decision, and so on and so forth. Just delightful.

There's more but those are the high points. This was also a place that like to say, constantly, "We're a family!" and "We take care of each other." I spent about 6 years there, somehow, largely because I really passionately loved my actual job and my clients. Now when I think back on those years, I can't believe I stayed as long as I did. I think I had Stockholm syndrome. I think the people I worked with who are still there, years later, definitely do. I think most of the manager there have personality disorders.

Anonymous wrote:OK, worst place I ever worked, here was the culture:

- Most staff were hired based on personal relationships. Meaning that a significant portion of the staff were related to, lived with, friends with, the former nanny of, etc. of someone in a hiring position. I did not get my job this way and went through a formal interview process. It quickly became clear that this made me a second class employee.

- Rampant gossip culture, which is not surprising when half the staff live together, are married to, have prior friendships with, are related to, etc one another. It wasn't water cooler gossip -- that can be bad but not nearly as bad as this. Nope, this was senior management gossiping with rank and file staff about other members of rank and file staff during off hours while socializing. There was no sense among management that this might be unprofessional or detrimental to work culture -- several of them drove the gossipy culture and actively encouraged it because they believed it was a good way for them to know what was going on with their employees.

- No formal policies for resolving internal conflict. Everything was handled ad hoc, whether it was someone interested in a promotion or a complaint of harassment against someone in the organization. A somewhat nebulous group of managers (some were constant and had formal titles, others were not technically management but were personally close to the people in management and therefore included in these decisions sometimes for unclear reasons) would discuss the issue, often outside of work, and then make decisions that were communicated with as much opacity as possible, like via a single email from a low level manager with no explanation. You couldn't complain because it was never clear who had made the decision or why. So what people would do instead is complain to coworkers, and which would inevitably get fed back to managers via the gossip loop described above, which would result in yet another secret ad hoc decision, and so on and so forth. Just delightful.

There's more but those are the high points. This was also a place that like to say, constantly, "We're a family!" and "We take care of each other." I spent about 6 years there, somehow, largely because I really passionately loved my actual job and my clients. Now when I think back on those years, I can't believe I stayed as long as I did. I think I had Stockholm syndrome. I think the people I worked with who are still there, years later, definitely do. I think most of the manager there have personality disorders.

Being told not to speak in any meeting unless being spoken to.

I was an adult with 10 years of experience and a Masters degree. I knew how to comport myself in a meeting.


This is me right now. Our boss expects us to IM / private chat anything we want to contribute to a meeting to her so that she can say it.


Waaat. Did you laugh at her.

Anonymous wrote:The department chair who told me I couldn't stay a minute beyond my duty day because others didn't have the option to work unpaid overtime, and I was making them feel uncomfortable with my work ethic, and making them "look bad." I was a teacher, by the way. It didn't come from a place of care, which I would have understood. I do know myself and know I can 'go go go' without allowing for recovery time, though it hurts no one but myself. Anyway, I found a school that took the opposite tact. They appreciated my hard work, and instead of penalizing or micromanaging me, encouraged me to take the occasional day off to get some rest because they valued me. I wish more employers worked with their employees' idiosyncrasies/needs instead of against them. I had a colleague at that first school with ADHD who needed to get up and move all the time when she wasn't teaching, and she was great at her job and great with kids; in fact, teaching was probably the perfect career for her. And nevertheless, her department chair (not the same as mine) told her she couldn't walk the halls between classes because it was "distracting and people were asking questions." She left that school shortly after I did, and actually ended up winning all kinds of awards in her new school. Again, whatever makes someone different is often their best trait. She was wonderful with neurodivergent learners, for example. But the work culture has to allow for that kind of variation among employees, and in fact celebrate it, not try to stamp it out. Anyway, the takeaway for me, which I often share with younger colleagues, is to plant yourself where you can grow.