Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think there is a disadvantage to the current trend that students should find the school that is the equivalent of their institutional “soulmate.”

I totally agree. I was listening to a college admissions podcast and there was an expert on who was a college admissions officer, then worked at a fancy HS in LA, then worked at a fancy international HS in China... anyway he said college "fit" is like a pair of jeans that at first doesn't feel perfect but then you kind of mold to it, it molds to you. It's so true! At a certain level, the depth and breadth of opportunities at universities is going to be amazing, and you as a student need to make the best of it and extrapolate value and experiences wherever you can. At the top 100+ schools, this wouldn't be a challenge, IMHO. It's not that there aren't some schools that you will vibe with more than others, but necessitating a soulmate connection is ludicrous.

Love this explanation!! So, so true,

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think there is a disadvantage to the current trend that students should find the school that is the equivalent of their institutional “soulmate.”

I totally agree. I was listening to a college admissions podcast and there was an expert on who was a college admissions officer, then worked at a fancy HS in LA, then worked at a fancy international HS in China... anyway he said college "fit" is like a pair of jeans that at first doesn't feel perfect but then you kind of mold to it, it molds to you. It's so true! At a certain level, the depth and breadth of opportunities at universities is going to be amazing, and you as a student need to make the best of it and extrapolate value and experiences wherever you can. At the top 100+ schools, this wouldn't be a challenge, IMHO. It's not that there aren't some schools that you will vibe with more than others, but necessitating a soulmate connection is ludicrous.

Yes, I think there is a disadvantage to the current trend that students should find the school that is the equivalent of their institutional “soulmate.”

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of "right fit" posters in all of the college threads nowadays. Those have become the buzz words with respect to college search. Maybe it is just semantics, but I fear that potentially leads students down as fraught a path as aiming for most competitive colleges. Because there becomes a lot of pressure on what factors make the right fit, and sets an expectation that there is "a" right fit. There are many good fit colleges for every student.

True, but I think the advice is meant more for the exclusion. Yes, most kids can make any place work for them, but when there are clear mismatches, it should be an easy rule out.

There are a lot of "right fit" posters in all of the college threads nowadays. Those have become the buzz words with respect to college search. Maybe it is just semantics, but I fear that potentially leads students down as fraught a path as aiming for most competitive colleges. Because there becomes a lot of pressure on what factors make the right fit, and sets an expectation that there is "a" right fit. There are many good fit colleges for every student.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every single response is saying the same thing over and over. I'm shocked OP couldn't figure this out when literally everyone else did.

This is OP. I could figure it out, I just wanted to make sure we weren't missing something important. We are proud of our high school but the focus there is making sure kids graduate -- where they go to college is not their priority. I have heard of more college support being offered at the higher income schools.

You "Heard" ?? What does that even mean? You are guessing! You are using rumor. Just freaking do some research. Make some calls. AND if anyone verifies what you "heard" would that be enough fact for you?

Agree with all the previous post sentiments - kids mature at different rates.....

Parents should not do all of the college search but should be part of the process. Given that ours kids will be applying from DC suburbs (affluent zip codes), our kids will be judge by ADs as having some help from parents. So if you are complete on the sidelines, then you will be putting your child at a disadvantage.

What we want for our DS is the right fit (he is intelligent and enjoy sports but won't play in college and like hanging out with diverse open-minded friends) - so rather worry about going to a "brand-name" college (top 25), we want him to go somewhere he can thrive and make friends/connections for life. Wife and I both attended large state schools and are both professionals. DS enjoy interacting with teachers and like small classes (private HS) - so he is leaning towards smaller schools.

Most of us are hopefully better versions of our teenage self and the college experience will be so much better if we can watch our kids mature in a similar way (knowing there will be some bumps in the road).

Doing all the work and "getting" your child into a school with very competitive classmates (cut-throat) will make a very miserable 4-5 years! Remember the importance of our kids mental health so I do believe the right fit is so important.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I would say don't waste time visiting schools that don't use "showing interest" as a criteria for admission. Save that for when your kid is admitted, then visit for selection. When my kids applied to schools, the admissions were all over the place--didn't get into safeties, did get into reaches, that sort of thing. They picked schools based on what they wanted to study, location, etc. Some were large, some were small. Then when they were admitted, the list was, of course, much smaller than the list they applied to. Went to those schools and picked one. This is especially good advice, IMO, if your kids are like mine and pick schools all over the place--CO, CA, Midwest, New England, and nothing local (except for an in-state safety) or in the South.

I cannot tell you how much I agree with this advice.

I think a better idea is very early on (junior year or even prior), visit different types of colleges that are close to your home, if you can. Take day trips to a SLAC, a more urban school, a public school, a research university, etc. within a couple of hours from your house, as leisurely exploratory outings, just to get a feel for types of schools.

Thanks. Every time I give it, someone looks at me like I turned purple. But so many kids visit schools, fall in love with them, and don't get admitted. Sometimes multiple ones, and at great expense. So easy to do video/online tours now, and get a decent idea if it's an acceptable school to apply.

I agree with you, if youi're close to different types of schools it doesn't hurt to go check those out. For DS1, we thought he was leaning towards a New England SLAC...then BAM, fell in love with a Big 10 during the admitted students tour. Made his decision on the spot. Go figure.

Good luck to everyone.

I agree with both of these... visit a range of *types* of schools early in the process so at least the kid knows what that kind of school looks like. This is a useful lens in the process even if they don't rule out certain types (my kid had very strong opinions after this). But we intentionally didn't visit reach schools in that early exploration. I didn't want him getting fixated on one particular school early on. After that virtual info sessions about the programs of interest + website info + school rep visits is enough to decide where to apply and we did tour places in an easy drive but investing in an expensive college touring trip seems like a waste of $$/time until you know what's really under consideration.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Proofreading my DD's essay is a nightmare I'm dreading. I'm not judging parents who do that I just fear it will be stressful to know I could make some content improvements but I will need to keep my mouth shut.

How do colleges put much weight on essays when so many are ghostwritten or mega edited?

A lot of good advice on this thread. I was worried about proofreading but eventually really enjoyed it. I asked a lot of questions and learned so much about my children. I heard about experiences that were more important to them than I had realized. I heard them articulate what a “good” school meant to them. We talked about who was important to them in HS and what they would’ve done differently. I asked a lot of “whys” and “can you tell me more about what this means” or “why that was important”. It was really neat to see things from their perspective.

+1 My son has long participated in a service activity at our church without much outward enthusiasm, just part of our family routine. He always worked at the beverage station which could sound like a real nothing kind of service, just a check-the-box thing. But he ended up writing about this in a supplemental about how he liked that job because unlike working the food service line where everyone is busy just getting people through the serving line, the guests would hang out and talk and he enjoyed getting to connect with them, to talk about the latest ball game or what he's doing in school or how their kids are doing. Actually building relationships with the people he saw there every month. I actually teared up a bit reading his essay to see that this is what he was getting out of it and that I'm sure he was really contributing to the experience for our guests in building those kinds of relationships.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I would say don't waste time visiting schools that don't use "showing interest" as a criteria for admission. Save that for when your kid is admitted, then visit for selection. When my kids applied to schools, the admissions were all over the place--didn't get into safeties, did get into reaches, that sort of thing. They picked schools based on what they wanted to study, location, etc. Some were large, some were small. Then when they were admitted, the list was, of course, much smaller than the list they applied to. Went to those schools and picked one. This is especially good advice, IMO, if your kids are like mine and pick schools all over the place--CO, CA, Midwest, New England, and nothing local (except for an in-state safety) or in the South.

I cannot tell you how much I agree with this advice.

I think a better idea is very early on (junior year or even prior), visit different types of colleges that are close to your home, if you can. Take day trips to a SLAC, a more urban school, a public school, a research university, etc. within a couple of hours from your house, as leisurely exploratory outings, just to get a feel for types of schools.

Thanks. Every time I give it, someone looks at me like I turned purple. But so many kids visit schools, fall in love with them, and don't get admitted. Sometimes multiple ones, and at great expense. So easy to do video/online tours now, and get a decent idea if it's an acceptable school to apply.

I agree with you, if youi're close to different types of schools it doesn't hurt to go check those out. For DS1, we thought he was leaning towards a New England SLAC...then BAM, fell in love with a Big 10 during the admitted students tour. Made his decision on the spot. Go figure.

Good luck to everyone.

Anonymous wrote:Proofreading my DD's essay is a nightmare I'm dreading. I'm not judging parents who do that I just fear it will be stressful to know I could make some content improvements but I will need to keep my mouth shut.

How do colleges put much weight on essays when so many are ghostwritten or mega edited?

A lot of good advice on this thread. I was worried about proofreading but eventually really enjoyed it. I asked a lot of questions and learned so much about my children. I heard about experiences that were more important to them than I had realized. I heard them articulate what a “good” school meant to them. We talked about who was important to them in HS and what they would’ve done differently. I asked a lot of “whys” and “can you tell me more about what this means” or “why that was important”. It was really neat to see things from their perspective.

Wow this is the most dcum of dcum threads I've seen in a long time.

For us, money is the number one factor. I have a high achieving kid and not much savings and she wants to go to grad school so we are chasing merit aid. So that means purposefully NOT aiming for top tier schools.

If this sounds like you too, I recommend checking out Colleges That Change Lives, the Paying for College 101 Facebook group and Rob Lieber's book that NPR just recently featured.

Did you guess when you chose an OB? Did you guess when you chose a car seat? I bet you carefully considered and researched your options. College is no different! It requires considerable parent input as so much opportunity and financial obligation is on the line.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My number one piece of advice is for your child to have a really solid set of test scores (SAT or ACT) by the end of junior year. This often means first taking practice tests to figure out which test gives a higher percentile ranking for your child. Then, have your child prep and take a first official test August before junior year, fall of junior year, or December at the latest. If necessary, do more prep and take final SAT or ACT in the spring (probably March, long before the AP crunch). If you don't have highest possible test scores by the end of junior year, you are flying blind, even with test-optional. Test-optional benefits primarily 4.0 unweighted students who test poorly. That is a small subset of students. Good luck!

My child doesn't take practice tests and doesn't prep. No interest. See how that works? Not all kids are motivated.

What is wrong with you? The previous poster was offering really helpful advice that applies to a lot of kids and families. Because you don't have a motivated child, she shouldn't share tips for success? Okay got it.

Yes, I wasn't trying to be judgmental, just to give the heads up about what worked well for our family and for others. If your child truly hates standardized tests, you could simply make attending a test prep class a requirement anyway or you could lay out how much you have to pay for college, perhaps $25,000 per year. That's enough for an in-state university. If your child wants a private, he has to earn merit money. That usually takes strong test scores. Find a way to put a carrot at the end of a stick. Best wishes!

PS - my child wasn't particularly interested in test scores either until we visited a gorgeous private college and the admissions rep told the students about the middle 50% of scores. That got my daughter thinking. She didn't want to visit colleges, either. I think that she was just nervous about it. I told her that on a day off from school (President's Day), we were going to visit one college within 60 miles of DC and she just had to pick one. That worked out well.

Glad that worked out well for you...you are still a strange individual that communicates poorly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My number one piece of advice is for your child to have a really solid set of test scores (SAT or ACT) by the end of junior year. This often means first taking practice tests to figure out which test gives a higher percentile ranking for your child. Then, have your child prep and take a first official test August before junior year, fall of junior year, or December at the latest. If necessary, do more prep and take final SAT or ACT in the spring (probably March, long before the AP crunch). If you don't have highest possible test scores by the end of junior year, you are flying blind, even with test-optional. Test-optional benefits primarily 4.0 unweighted students who test poorly. That is a small subset of students. Good luck!

My child doesn't take practice tests and doesn't prep. No interest. See how that works? Not all kids are motivated.

What is wrong with you? The previous poster was offering really helpful advice that applies to a lot of kids and families. Because you don't have a motivated child, she shouldn't share tips for success? Okay got it.

Yes, I wasn't trying to be judgmental, just to give the heads up about what worked well for our family and for others. If your child truly hates standardized tests, you could simply make attending a test prep class a requirement anyway or you could lay out how much you have to pay for college, perhaps $25,000 per year. That's enough for an in-state university. If your child wants a private, he has to earn merit money. That usually takes strong test scores. Find a way to put a carrot at the end of a stick. Best wishes!

PS - my child wasn't particularly interested in test scores either until we visited a gorgeous private college and the admissions rep told the students about the middle 50% of scores. That got my daughter thinking. She didn't want to visit colleges, either. I think that she was just nervous about it. I told her that on a day off from school (President's Day), we were going to visit one college within 60 miles of DC and she just had to pick one. That worked out well.