Anonymous wrote:
Plus he’s been very sweet and attentive.

So are dogs looking for a treat.

Dear OP, I know how hard it is to admit mistakes of the heart. We are inherently defensive about our most tender decisions.
I've read the tread fully and think you are one of those people who have to learn the hard way. You've waded too deep into this with your chasing flight. Your sunk costs are higher than before. Look up sunk cost fallacy.

Where is the bottom to close this thread. I can't with her!

OP, have you been in serious relationships before?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, when you are with the right person for the right reasons you will not be posting on DCUM for thoughts on a confusing situation with mixed signals. In a healthy, loving, secure relationship you will feel safe and assured.

x1000

OP, why do you think he’s interested in you outside of this weekend?

Well he hasn’t pulled away yet so that’s a good sign? We met in October (after they broke up) but things didn’t really pick up until December (when they stopped talking). I’ve been around since October really so isn’t that a good sign?

Plus he’s been very sweet and attentive.

Anonymous wrote:OP, when you are with the right person for the right reasons you will not be posting on DCUM for thoughts on a confusing situation with mixed signals. In a healthy, loving, secure relationship you will feel safe and assured.

x1000

OP, why do you think he’s interested in you outside of this weekend?

OP, when you are with the right person for the right reasons you will not be posting on DCUM for thoughts on a confusing situation with mixed signals. In a healthy, loving, secure relationship you will feel safe and assured.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This “relationship” will be long distance?
Yeah, this isn’t going to work. The Ex is there, you are not. He’ll keep you around, because how hard is it to text a few times a day, and you’ll pay to fly to him to have sex.

And he’ll work on getting her back.

I thought because I am far away that he really is into me because he could’ve had someone local...

Nope, semi-casual long distance is super low effort. And allows him to either win his Ex back or date other people.

You keep looking forward signs as to why he really likes you. And we are ALL telling you that you are reading the situation the wrong way. You seem to have a hard time grasping that he could have casual sex with you that doesn’t mean much to him. So let me say it again—you are the good for now girl. You aren’t long term potential girl.

Oh wow I’ve never viewed LD as being low effort. So basically, I’m the perfect candidate for casual?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This “relationship” will be long distance?
Yeah, this isn’t going to work. The Ex is there, you are not. He’ll keep you around, because how hard is it to text a few times a day, and you’ll pay to fly to him to have sex.

And he’ll work on getting her back.

I thought because I am far away that he really is into me because he could’ve had someone local...

Nope, semi-casual long distance is super low effort. And allows him to either win his Ex back or date other people.

You keep looking forward signs as to why he really likes you. And we are ALL telling you that you are reading the situation the wrong way. You seem to have a hard time grasping that he could have casual sex with you that doesn’t mean much to him. So let me say it again—you are the good for now girl. You aren’t long term potential girl.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This “relationship” will be long distance?
Yeah, this isn’t going to work. The Ex is there, you are not. He’ll keep you around, because how hard is it to text a few times a day, and you’ll pay to fly to him to have sex.

And he’ll work on getting her back.

I thought because I am far away that he really is into me because he could’ve had someone local...

“Had someone”. People don’t have each other in relationships with mutual care and respect. People “have” each other for sex and using each other’s bodies. Which do you want?

Also, you put in all the effort to go to him, not the other way around. Did he invite you or did you offer and he accept?

I think you have demonstrated to him that you are really into him. He has demonstrated that he is still into his ex. You cannot control him. You can only control yourself. Please do what’s best for you.

Anonymous wrote:This “relationship” will be long distance?
Yeah, this isn’t going to work. The Ex is there, you are not. He’ll keep you around, because how hard is it to text a few times a day, and you’ll pay to fly to him to have sex.

And he’ll work on getting her back.

I thought because I am far away that he really is into me because he could’ve had someone local...

Anonymous wrote:This “relationship” will be long distance?
Yeah, this isn’t going to work. The Ex is there, you are not. He’ll keep you around, because how hard is it to text a few times a day, and you’ll pay to fly to him to have sex.

And he’ll work on getting her back.

Yup. In therapy. The relationship may be finished but he clearly isn’t finished with her. He needs to do a lot of self-reflection either way. So do you, OP. Someone else’s trash should not be your treasure when you know damn well it is rotting trash.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s the gorilla glue post. I think seeing it makes more sense than describing it.

https://imgur.com/a/kEieRFm

There is no way in hell I would be flying out to see a guy who posted that about his ex. Have some respect for yourself!!!!

Well I’m my defense. I didn’t see and I had already booked my flight before my cousin told me.

OP, stop trying to “defend” yourself. There is a lot of value in allowing yourself to change your mind. You might at one point have been lead to believe this guy was into you. It is clear now he is not.

Instead of defending yourself, try doing what is best for you. What is best for you is to spend time with people who genuinely care for and respect you. You owe it to yourself, regardless of your emotional maturity, to do that for yourself.

OP - this is such sincere and caring advice. Please take it into consideration. Guess what. If all of DCUM is wrong about him, and you leave him alone, one of two things will happen:

1. He won’t pursue you, which means he doesn’t want you.
2. He will pursue you, which means he wants something from you.

Respect in relationships is something that is not negotiable. Could you imagine being married to this man, pregnant with his child, while he across IG and likes posta from ex girlfriends, makes uou buy all the nursery items with your money and doesn’t split the cost?

Don’t pacify him. Leave, and look to nurture yourself. Valentines Day is the perfect day to do it. Love shows itself in many different forms. Good luck and God’s wisdom to guide you. 💛

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pandemic, anyone?

Can trolls get COVID?

I’m not a troll
Plenty of people are flying

It is a really bad idea to be flying unless necessary. All signs point this being beyond unnecessary...you are wasting time with a man still hung up on someone and people have warned you. You are risking your health for no reason at all. You should not have flown out there. Go home and cut him off. If he is really into you, you’ll know soon enough.

Come off it. OP is 27 years years old.

This “relationship” will be long distance?
Yeah, this isn’t going to work. The Ex is there, you are not. He’ll keep you around, because how hard is it to text a few times a day, and you’ll pay to fly to him to have sex.

And he’ll work on getting her back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pandemic, anyone?

Can trolls get COVID?

I’m not a troll
Plenty of people are flying

It is a really bad idea to be flying unless necessary. All signs point this being beyond unnecessary...you are wasting time with a man still hung up on someone and people have warned you. You are risking your health for no reason at all. You should not have flown out there. Go home and cut him off. If he is really into you, you’ll know soon enough.