Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another INFJ- wonder if anyone can relate to this? I make friends super easily but often get tired of them or dismissive when I realize their true selves. I’ve seen the real sides of a lot of people during this pandemic and about 75% of my relationships have been very effected. There are many friends I used to enjoy which I have realized were bleeding me dry and never giving back. Anyone else?

I do feel like I get into friendships where they take, take, take and never give in return. Recently, I've been able to dump a few of these people and I'm be glad.

Can someone explain how an INFJ can make friends? I find it difficult to trust and be friend other people more so during this pandemic. I feel women especially are hyper competitive with who they date and what job they get.

I have major trust issues and would find it very difficult to date or make friends right now. I'm working through them but they stem from adolescence so it's a big issue.

Anonymous wrote:INFJs are generally not hot-headed. How many exceptions can there be, just bcs some people want to think they are the "rarest" personality type in the world?
Which is a social construct. I can answer any question the way I want to think I am this type of something that suits me.
Who wants to admit they are the most common personality in the world? Which is also a construct.
Maybe today I am INFJ, but tomorrow I am INTJ?
When I read my horoscope it is uncanny how accurate they are! And every other person feels the same! Utter nonsense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another INFJ- wonder if anyone can relate to this? I make friends super easily but often get tired of them or dismissive when I realize their true selves. I’ve seen the real sides of a lot of people during this pandemic and about 75% of my relationships have been very effected. There are many friends I used to enjoy which I have realized were bleeding me dry and never giving back. Anyone else?

I do feel like I get into friendships where they take, take, take and never give in return. Recently, I've been able to dump a few of these people and I'm be glad.

Can someone explain how an INFJ can make friends? I find it difficult to trust and be friend other people more so during this pandemic. I feel women especially are hyper competitive with who they date and what job they get.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another INFJ- wonder if anyone can relate to this? I make friends super easily but often get tired of them or dismissive when I realize their true selves. I’ve seen the real sides of a lot of people during this pandemic and about 75% of my relationships have been very effected. There are many friends I used to enjoy which I have realized were bleeding me dry and never giving back. Anyone else?

I do feel like I get into friendships where they take, take, take and never give in return. Recently, I've been able to dump a few of these people and I'm be glad.

Anonymous wrote:Another INFJ- wonder if anyone can relate to this? I make friends super easily but often get tired of them or dismissive when I realize their true selves. I’ve seen the real sides of a lot of people during this pandemic and about 75% of my relationships have been very effected. There are many friends I used to enjoy which I have realized were bleeding me dry and never giving back. Anyone else?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am, as an INFJ

Very intuitive. This doesn't mean that I can see the future, or have extra sensory perception. It means that I am super observational and see patterns quickly. I do sense a bad thing coming, though, but what that thing is isn't always clear. I have an enormous sense of dread.

I can size a person up very quickly. If they are fake, I know it.

I do have a lot of empathy, which exhausts me.

I need my alone time. Maybe even a nap to shut myself off.

I do care about first impressions, too much about my own. I am afraid of mistakes..which is why I'm not in the medical field. It would traumatize me to make a mistake and hurt someone. Also, I would worry about it constantly. I appreciate people who have the confidence to do those things.

I am not a big risk taker, but I'm not afraid of change. I like new things, creative things, but I'm not going to bungee jump or drop acid.

I overthink way too much.

I love art, abstract art, creative art, film, writing, books, music. Dark sense of humor.

I procrastinate, but (!) I will get it done. If it means all night the night before, it will be done. My procrastination is stupid. Really stupid.

I'm better at accepting criticism now. Nope, didn't like it when I was younger. Or now, but I'm older.

I'm organized. But, in a project, it won't look that way.

I can read a room in seconds.

I am up late. Every night. It's my time.

I want to read everything. The smart phone is the best and definitely the worst thing for me.

I live outside of organized groups- religion, clubs, cliques, career ladders. I find the sociology of people fascinating.

I love my family, very protective . It was hard to be an empty nester, but I did ok. I miss my family, though.

I love animals, and I "get" them. Even ones I don't like really...snakes, reptiles, fish.

I can feel fear in others. People who are angry are often fearful.

I am warm and open , but if someone reveals their true colors, I'm not going to engage further. And, that means I knew who they were before, but they had a chance to prove otherwise.

I am, however, a loyal friend.
I have a hard time holding up all the balls in friend relationships, especially when my kids were small, I was working, too much going on. Constantly beating myself up if I don't call or engage for a period of time. It's much easier now.

I'm doing ok in this pandemic. I miss everyone, things, but I can live with myself for a long time. Lots of stuff in my head. I am never bored.

I won't engage in open conflict. I will just shut the door.

Some people say this Myers Briggs is BS. I've found it to be helpful, actually, in many ways. Of course, there are exceptions to everything.

OH MY GOSH, you're me!!

Me too. Amazing. What do you both do for a career? Do you have very vivid dreams or psychic type of dreams or experiences?

Me too! Pretty spot on....and "I am warm and open , but if someone reveals their true colors, I'm not going to engage further. And, that means I knew who they were before, but they had a chance to prove otherwise." ......this speaks to me on a deeeeeeeeep level.

Often times, I will give people a chance who I instinctively know are not meant for me. But YIKES, once they pull their stuff out, I am out. I can't deal with people's aggressive or otherwise depleting energy.

Anonymous wrote:Any other INFJs who can be hot headed?

I have been dealing with anger issues the last few years and it’s so weird for me because that’s not historically been a part of my personality. I wonder if part of it is that I was depressed for many years but have been working hard to disrupt my depressive thinking patterns. I’ve heard depression described as “anger turned inwards.” Sometimes I wonder if my recent anger has been there all along, but now it’s turned outwards.

I do sometimes feel ruled by my emotions. That’s why the anger is so stressful to me. I have tried meditation and mindfulness to try and find ways to detach and observe it, then let it go. But it never quite goes. I wish I could figure out how to master it.

Would love any insight from any other INFJs who have experienced similar.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, INFJ. I was a teacher for many years. I enjoyed many aspects about it, was a good teacher, but always knew I was in the wrong field- teaching is very intrusive- you are "on" al day, no time to regroup, always have to present a facade, no private time, exhausting emotionally. Plus, in order to be a team player and play the game, there's a lot of sucking up and alliance with fad programs and ideas. INFJs can't stand fake anything.,

What I should have been was a journalist, writer, or lawyer- such as an immigration lawyer, or similar, not a criminal or a lot of time in the court room

I am an introvert- but I am social. I like small groups, love my friends and family. My antennae, though, can pick up a liar, or someone's true intentions within seconds. I can tell a lot about a person in first impressions.

Exactly. INFJ can't make up their mind for anything. Their love of learning and taking an interest in all subjects makes them undecided and further procrastinates what career they could really be happy in. I am an intelligence analyst but still seeking purpose. It doesn't help that this area is so expensive and learning a new subject to make a career of can take a longer time. I have loved reading and writing since I was 4 yrs old though. In my late 30s I feel I could be too old for another career that isn't in demand or has purpose.

My God, you have just described me. I’m a former intelligence analyst, now SAHM. Incredible similarities.
DP

+1 You totally nailed it. I'm a married SAHM but I was in advertising/social media and hated all the fakery and self-importance. I would love to become a researcher or writer but feel like I'm too far into my career to completely start over. I'm very shy/reserved when I first meet people but if I get a good feeling off of them, I open up and am very warm. Over the years, people have often "joked" that, at first, they thought I was a bitch and how shocked they were that I'm actually a nice person. As for romantic relationships, I was definitely a late bloomer and sort of had to force myself out of my shell to actually go on dates.

PP here - yes! I remember in high school, a good friend told me that before we got to know each other, she had thought I was such a snob - because I was aloof and fairly quiet. I’ve always remembered that and been cognizant of not appearing that way. I actually wasn’t a snob at all, just shy until I got to know someone. Knowing that about myself has helped me be more proactive in social situations - I don’t want people thinking I’m a snob!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any other INFJs who can be hot headed?

I have been dealing with anger issues the last few years and it’s so weird for me because that’s not historically been a part of my personality. I wonder if part of it is that I was depressed for many years but have been working hard to disrupt my depressive thinking patterns. I’ve heard depression described as “anger turned inwards.” Sometimes I wonder if my recent anger has been there all along, but now it’s turned outwards.

I do sometimes feel ruled by my emotions. That’s why the anger is so stressful to me. I have tried meditation and mindfulness to try and find ways to detach and observe it, then let it go. But it never quite goes. I wish I could figure out how to master it.

Would love any insight from any other INFJs who have experienced similar.

I used to be when I was younger, but it may have more to do with my not having an outlet for some trauma-based things specific for me. And, I'm not a hot head all the time. For me, it builds and builds, but then that one dumb inconsequential thing will open up the flood gates.
And then I'm always really sad and mad at myself for being angry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, INFJ. I was a teacher for many years. I enjoyed many aspects about it, was a good teacher, but always knew I was in the wrong field- teaching is very intrusive- you are "on" al day, no time to regroup, always have to present a facade, no private time, exhausting emotionally. Plus, in order to be a team player and play the game, there's a lot of sucking up and alliance with fad programs and ideas. INFJs can't stand fake anything.,

What I should have been was a journalist, writer, or lawyer- such as an immigration lawyer, or similar, not a criminal or a lot of time in the court room

I am an introvert- but I am social. I like small groups, love my friends and family. My antennae, though, can pick up a liar, or someone's true intentions within seconds. I can tell a lot about a person in first impressions.

Exactly. INFJ can't make up their mind for anything. Their love of learning and taking an interest in all subjects makes them undecided and further procrastinates what career they could really be happy in. I am an intelligence analyst but still seeking purpose. It doesn't help that this area is so expensive and learning a new subject to make a career of can take a longer time. I have loved reading and writing since I was 4 yrs old though. In my late 30s I feel I could be too old for another career that isn't in demand or has purpose.

My God, you have just described me. I’m a former intelligence analyst, now SAHM. Incredible similarities.
DP

+1 You totally nailed it. I'm a married SAHM but I was in advertising/social media and hated all the fakery and self-importance. I would love to become a researcher or writer but feel like I'm too far into my career to completely start over. I'm very shy/reserved when I first meet people but if I get a good feeling off of them, I open up and am very warm. Over the years, people have often "joked" that, at first, they thought I was a bitch and how shocked they were that I'm actually a nice person. As for romantic relationships, I was definitely a late bloomer and sort of had to force myself out of my shell to actually go on dates.