Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do people not know that there is no polite way to comment on a stranger’s weight?

apparently, women are supposed to know that this is how we are judged, and not take it personally.

that's online dating, and it works in both direction. It's the logical result of an app serving up potential dates like a menu

How sad that people think that basic norms of politeness go out the window when you’re communicating via a dating app.

But if you don’t care what the guy thinks about you, it doesn’t matter. Like the point of calling out that somebody is being sexist isn’t really for their benefit or to change their mind.

Anonymous wrote:Why would you even follow up?

I would also define petite as 5’-5’4” 100-130 pounds.

He told you he is not interested and you are not his type.

I have a cousin who is supposedly 5’9”. She used to say she was 5’8”. My DH is 5’9” and my brother is 5’11”. Both always say she is more like 5’10”. She looks 6’ anytime she wears any shoe and not barefoot. She married a guy who was shorter than her.

I think most men prefer women who are smaller than them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So I pushed it. I asked him what he considered petite.

He said 5’1-5’4 and no more than 125-130lbs.

I am 5'4" and 130 lbs, and would not classify myself as "petite." I'm average, and that is fine.

Ha nope. The average BMI of a woman is 26. Yours is 22ish.

Also petite sized clothes are made for women up to 5’4. You are literally petite.

As an actual petite woman (under 5'2" and under 120#) ... oh, I got nothing, this whole discussion is super stupid. He likes short, not fat women. Big deal. I like tall, not fat men. Big deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So I pushed it. I asked him what he considered petite.

He said 5’1-5’4 and no more than 125-130lbs.

I am 5'4" and 130 lbs, and would not classify myself as "petite." I'm average, and that is fine.

Ha nope. The average BMI of a woman is 26. Yours is 22ish.

Also petite sized clothes are made for women up to 5’4. You are literally petite.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

A guy like that is not feeling uncomfortable, especially when their interaction is soley through writing through this dating site. What he is thinking is, "I am so hot and such a great catch that this girl is trying to talk me into changing my standards to include her so that I will date her."

Exactly. He just sees her desperation.

I don't know about that, because her motives may have been to call him out. I don't know. But what he will see it as is desperation, whether or not it actually is.

But if you don’t care what the guy thinks about you, it doesn’t matter. Like the point of calling out that somebody is being sexist isn’t really for their benefit or to change their mind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do people not know that there is no polite way to comment on a stranger’s weight?

apparently, women are supposed to know that this is how we are judged, and not take it personally.

that's online dating, and it works in both direction. It's the logical result of an app serving up potential dates like a menu

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do people not know that there is no polite way to comment on a stranger’s weight?

apparently, women are supposed to know that this is how we are judged, and not take it personally.

Anonymous wrote:

A guy like that is not feeling uncomfortable, especially when their interaction is soley through writing through this dating site. What he is thinking is, "I am so hot and such a great catch that this girl is trying to talk me into changing my standards to include her so that I will date her."

Exactly. He just sees her desperation.

I don't know about that, because her motives may have been to call him out. I don't know. But what he will see it as is desperation, whether or not it actually is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here.

So I pushed it. I asked him what he considered petite.

He said 5’1-5’4 and no more than 125-130lbs.

I told him that some 14 year olds don’t even fit in that category and he blocked me.

Okay, so he proved what a lot of people here were saying--that "petite" is now a word that doesn't just mean short, it means slim. So everyone claiming "oh, he just likes tall girls, it's not about weight" is full of it.

That’s true. It’s the same with “into fitness.” It’s typically just a euphemism for being thin. They would make an exception for a sedentary girl with their body type.

(I still don’t think OP should have pushed it though, unless she was just trying to mess with his head, in which case, brava).

What are you bravaing about? There’s no messing with his head? His head thinks OP is nuts and she proved that point very well.

Oh come on. It can be fun to push somebody on a point like this to make them feel uncomfortable. Like if somebody makes a passive aggressive comment, I don’t let it bother me, I just sweetly ask “oh what do you mean by that?”

A guy like that is not feeling uncomfortable, especially when their interaction is soley through writing through this dating site. What he is thinking is, "I am so hot and such a great catch that this girl is trying to talk me into changing my standards to include her so that I will date her."

Exactly. He just sees her desperation.

Anonymous wrote:

A guy like that is not feeling uncomfortable, especially when their interaction is soley through writing through this dating site. What he is thinking is, "I am so hot and such a great catch that this girl is trying to talk me into changing my standards to include her so that I will date her."

Exactly. He just sees her desperation.

I don't know about that, because her motives may have been to call him out. I don't know. But what he will see it as is desperation, whether or not it actually is.

A guy like that is not feeling uncomfortable, especially when their interaction is soley through writing through this dating site. What he is thinking is, "I am so hot and such a great catch that this girl is trying to talk me into changing my standards to include her so that I will date her."

Exactly. He just sees her desperation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

So I pushed it. I asked him what he considered petite.

He said 5’1-5’4 and no more than 125-130lbs.

I told him that some 14 year olds don’t even fit in that category and he blocked me.

Okay, so he proved what a lot of people here were saying--that "petite" is now a word that doesn't just mean short, it means slim. So everyone claiming "oh, he just likes tall girls, it's not about weight" is full of it.

That’s true. It’s the same with “into fitness.” It’s typically just a euphemism for being thin. They would make an exception for a sedentary girl with their body type.

(I still don’t think OP should have pushed it though, unless she was just trying to mess with his head, in which case, brava).

What are you bravaing about? There’s no messing with his head? His head thinks OP is nuts and she proved that point very well.

Oh come on. It can be fun to push somebody on a point like this to make them feel uncomfortable. Like if somebody makes a passive aggressive comment, I don’t let it bother me, I just sweetly ask “oh what do you mean by that?”

Wow, no. You enjoy being a bully. And yes, things clearly bother you because you are so reactionary.

You know literally nothing about me and you do not know the definition of being a bully. If somebody who isn’t my friend says “wow, I really didn’t expect you to do so well on this project,” I might just ask what they mean.

The bolded explains exactly who you are. Which is a bully. Maybe you’re rethinking your behavior; that’s a good thing.