Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happy days...I admit when one has won the gold medal one never forgets.

Pre-K: It was a balmy spring evening. I was drinking a small gin and tonic and stuffing larks' cheeks with jamon iberico when my butler brought me the letter on a silver tray.

St. Albans: It was cold. I was upstairs having my anus bleached. I snorted a little Bolivian marching powder in celebration.

Yale: I was whipping the new maid a rolled-up copy of Horse and Hounds - there had been an unforgivable incident with a Ming Vase. Weather: overcast, light rain later.

Harvard Law School: the butler found me asleep in the stables after a large dose of ketamine. In my drug-induced fog I could barely take in the good news. I must have slept with half of Mclean in the course of the next week.

HANDS DOWN, the single best post on this blog in the history of the world. I can barely type this, I am crying from laughing my ass off. Bless you, brilliant soul. And do enjoy your next anal bleaching. My treat.

Anonymous wrote:I was in the middle of a combination liposuction and hair highlighting. I emerged thin and blond and with a perfect child.

Anonymous wrote:I still remember:

Pre-K: It was a cold day. I lived in an apartment and the fat envelope was jammed inside the box. At first I thought it was a magazine, but when I pulled it out, I saw the logo of green children holding hands.

St. Albans: I was having a Christmas open house and my son ran out to get the mail for me. I was holding a tray of stuffed mushrooms when I saw the envelope in his hand...

Anonymous wrote:
...And what on earth are you going to do when Larla doesn't get into your coveted Ivy?

Anonymous wrote:Happy days...I admit when one has won the gold medal one never forgets.

Pre-K: It was a balmy spring evening. I was drinking a small gin and tonic and stuffing larks' cheeks with jamon iberico when my butler brought me the letter on a silver tray.

St. Albans: It was cold. I was upstairs having my anus bleached. I snorted a little Bolivian marching powder in celebration.

Yale: I was whipping the new maid a rolled-up copy of Horse and Hounds - there had been an unforgivable incident with a Ming Vase. Weather: overcast, light rain later.

Harvard Law School: the butler found me asleep in the stables after a large dose of ketamine. In my drug-induced fog I could barely take in the good news. I must have slept with half of Mclean in the course of the next week.

Anonymous wrote:I still remember:

Pre-K: It was a cold day. I lived in an apartment and the fat envelope was jammed inside the box. At first I thought it was a magazine, but when I pulled it out, I saw the logo of green children holding hands.

St. Albans: I was having a Christmas open house and my son ran out to get the mail for me. I was holding a tray of stuffed mushrooms when I saw the envelope in his hand...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was polishing my Harvard ring in my great great grandmother's federal-period wing chair. My semi-regular cleaning lady/nanny Lourdes from Guatemala brought in the mail before feeding my three children lunch and taking them to Volta Park for a few hours, the time I needed daily to get important shopping errands done. I was so excited I dropped my Harvard ring and it bounced in the fireplace, and Lourdes had to crawl in and find it.

You left out the part where Lourdes hit her head on the mantle and , lacking health insurance, and barely making a living wage, could not afford proper care.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happy days...I admit when one has won the gold medal one never forgets.

Pre-K: It was a balmy spring evening. I was drinking a small gin and tonic and stuffing larks' cheeks with jamon iberico when my butler brought me the letter on a silver tray.

St. Albans: It was cold. I was upstairs having my anus bleached. I snorted a little Bolivian marching powder in celebration.

Yale: I was whipping the new maid a rolled-up copy of Horse and Hounds - there had been an unforgivable incident with a Ming Vase. Weather: overcast, light rain later.

Harvard Law School: the butler found me asleep in the stables after a large dose of ketamine. In my drug-induced fog I could barely take in the good news. I must have slept with half of Mclean in the course of the next week.

Four years later, and this is still my favorite. Each item is better than the last. I giggle every year when I read this.

Anonymous wrote:Happy days...I admit when one has won the gold medal one never forgets.

Pre-K: It was a balmy spring evening. I was drinking a small gin and tonic and stuffing larks' cheeks with jamon iberico when my butler brought me the letter on a silver tray.

St. Albans: It was cold. I was upstairs having my anus bleached. I snorted a little Bolivian marching powder in celebration.

Yale: I was whipping the new maid a rolled-up copy of Horse and Hounds - there had been an unforgivable incident with a Ming Vase. Weather: overcast, light rain later.

Harvard Law School: the butler found me asleep in the stables after a large dose of ketamine. In my drug-induced fog I could barely take in the good news. I must have slept with half of Mclean in the course of the next week.