Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Given that we’ve beat this topic to death, I have to ask: why can’t the earrings be returned? There’s nothing normal about that. If they came from a reputable diamond jeweler in New York City there’s no reason they can’t be returned. Do they have a GIA certificate? Do you know the name of the jeweler? Can you just call and ask?

This sounds shady to me. OP did you call the jeweler or your DH? Are they real? Or did he get them from some shitty storefront dealer?

OP here - they are real. I have the appraisal and certificates. He said if I didn't like them I could exchange them for something else. I think even he was surprised by how large they looked on my (relatively small) ears. Aside from the money being spent, they're just not something I'd want to wear every day. I know the jeweler (we both met with her before we got married, and she has been my grandmother's jeweler for years), and I will call her today.

It's not that this purchase will leave us going hungry. We can technically afford it, I guess. But we are not wealthy people, and my discomfort stems from my upbringing: I was raised not to spend large amounts of money on impractical things. My husband works extremely hard and I don't want to deny him the satisfaction of spending his hard-earned money on things that he perceives to be valuable. I just wish he's put that $5K toward a new car for himself, which he needs. Or given me a $2500 gift card to Apple, so I could replace my computer.

Meanwhile, there's a list of things on which I could easily blow $5,000 that I'll now rethink. Little things and big things - like a cleaning service for our home; supplies for my hobby; a robot vacuum; some personal care stuff for myself; condo renovations... I was looking forward to those things and now I feel like I have to forget about some of them.

Just keep the diamonds and say thank you. I think you (and he) will feel worse if you make a big deal of it and return them. He didn't take out a loan for them, right? As long as you aren't paying interest on them of something, just try to enjoy them. Wear them at home. Diamond studs are lovely and classic and you can give to your daughters when they are older. It is a very nice gift, even if you are having a hard time coming to terms with cutting corners other places. Let him feel good about giving you something beautiful.

Perfectly said.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW went out and bought me a new Corvette. I’m so unhappy.
Yeah right...

Did you want a Corvette? Do you like Corvettes? Have you ever said, "No, hunny I would never drive a Corvette- I think they are wasteful, useless, ugly, and lets everyone know that my ball sac hangs lower than my d***."

Not a decent comparison there but thanks for trying.

I mean, it seems to have flown over your head that op owns and wears fake diamond earrings. Her husband knows she is frugal and would never buy for herself. He mistakenly thought she would appreciate if he treated her to real diamonds. Why you continue to attack a stranger for that for pages is beyond bizarre.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't get over how unappreciative some of you are! Everything doesn't have to be practical, planned, and requested by you. I love receiving special, surprise gifts that my husband has picked out. We both do that.

Even if it is something you told him you werent interested in?

Can’t control everything in life, including what other people chose to gift you. You can control whether you throw a tantrum if the gift wasn’t what you wanted.

If he had not asked that would be truebut shetold him she didnt want or need it. If your dh like football and hated soccer wouldu expec him to be thrilled if you got him expensive tickets to the world cup not the superbowl? I dont think so!

I don’t think you understand what it means to be gracious. Life isn’t about getting exactly what you want every second.

So, again with the sports analogy because it’s pretty accurate: Would you expect the same of a man? If his wife thought oh yeah my husband loves sports I’ll buy him World Cup tickets! Never mind that the guy likes football and could care less about soccer.

Would you hold the husband to the same standard? Would’ve be allowed to be mad his wife wasted thousands of household money? Would he need to e fake grateful?

Absolutely yes. Your parents really didn’t do well with teaching you “it’s the thought that count” and you know, basic empathy,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Given that we’ve beat this topic to death, I have to ask: why can’t the earrings be returned? There’s nothing normal about that. If they came from a reputable diamond jeweler in New York City there’s no reason they can’t be returned. Do they have a GIA certificate? Do you know the name of the jeweler? Can you just call and ask?

This sounds shady to me. OP did you call the jeweler or your DH? Are they real? Or did he get them from some shitty storefront dealer?

OP here - they are real. I have the appraisal and certificates. He said if I didn't like them I could exchange them for something else. I think even he was surprised by how large they looked on my (relatively small) ears. Aside from the money being spent, they're just not something I'd want to wear every day. I know the jeweler (we both met with her before we got married, and she has been my grandmother's jeweler for years), and I will call her today.

It's not that this purchase will leave us going hungry. We can technically afford it, I guess. But we are not wealthy people, and my discomfort stems from my upbringing: I was raised not to spend large amounts of money on impractical things. My husband works extremely hard and I don't want to deny him the satisfaction of spending his hard-earned money on things that he perceives to be valuable. I just wish he's put that $5K toward a new car for himself, which he needs. Or given me a $2500 gift card to Apple, so I could replace my computer.

Meanwhile, there's a list of things on which I could easily blow $5,000 that I'll now rethink. Little things and big things - like a cleaning service for our home; supplies for my hobby; a robot vacuum; some personal care stuff for myself; condo renovations... I was looking forward to those things and now I feel like I have to forget about some of them.

Just keep the diamonds and say thank you. I think you (and he) will feel worse if you make a big deal of it and return them. He didn't take out a loan for them, right? As long as you aren't paying interest on them of something, just try to enjoy them. Wear them at home. Diamond studs are lovely and classic and you can give to your daughters when they are older. It is a very nice gift, even if you are having a hard time coming to terms with cutting corners other places. Let him feel good about giving you something beautiful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW went out and bought me a new Corvette. I’m so unhappy.
Yeah right...

Did you want a Corvette? Do you like Corvettes? Have you ever said, "No, hunny I would never drive a Corvette- I think they are wasteful, useless, ugly, and lets everyone know that my ball sac hangs lower than my d***."

Not a decent comparison there but thanks for trying.

Anonymous wrote:I can't get over how unappreciative some of you are! Everything doesn't have to be practical, planned, and requested by you. I love receiving special, surprise gifts that my husband has picked out. We both do that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't get over how unappreciative some of you are! Everything doesn't have to be practical, planned, and requested by you. I love receiving special, surprise gifts that my husband has picked out. We both do that.

Even if it is something you told him you werent interested in?

Can’t control everything in life, including what other people chose to gift you. You can control whether you throw a tantrum if the gift wasn’t what you wanted.

If he had not asked that would be truebut shetold him she didnt want or need it. If your dh like football and hated soccer wouldu expec him to be thrilled if you got him expensive tickets to the world cup not the superbowl? I dont think so!

I don’t think you understand what it means to be gracious. Life isn’t about getting exactly what you want every second.

So, again with the sports analogy because it’s pretty accurate: Would you expect the same of a man? If his wife thought oh yeah my husband loves sports I’ll buy him World Cup tickets! Never mind that the guy likes football and could care less about soccer.

Would you hold the husband to the same standard? Would’ve be allowed to be mad his wife wasted thousands of household money? Would he need to e fake grateful?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't get over how unappreciative some of you are! Everything doesn't have to be practical, planned, and requested by you. I love receiving special, surprise gifts that my husband has picked out. We both do that.

Even if it is something you told him you werent interested in?

Can’t control everything in life, including what other people chose to gift you. You can control whether you throw a tantrum if the gift wasn’t what you wanted.

If he had not asked that would be truebut shetold him she didnt want or need it. If your dh like football and hated soccer wouldu expec him to be thrilled if you got him expensive tickets to the world cup not the superbowl? I dont think so!

I don’t think you understand what it means to be gracious. Life isn’t about getting exactly what you want every second.

So, again with the sports analogy because it’s pretty accurate: Would you expect the same of a man? If his wife thought oh yeah my husband loves sports I’ll buy him World Cup tickets! Never mind that the guy likes football and could care less about soccer.

Would you hold the husband to the same standard? Would’ve be allowed to be mad his wife wasted thousands of household money? Would he need to e fake grateful?

Let's make your analogy better: Her husband has told her that he doesn't like soccer, and thinks watching soccer is boring. She buys him expensive World Cup tickets. He's supposed to be grateful that she wasted thousands of dollars on something he has said he does not want?

Anonymous wrote:DW went out and bought me a new Corvette. I’m so unhappy.
Yeah right...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't get over how unappreciative some of you are! Everything doesn't have to be practical, planned, and requested by you. I love receiving special, surprise gifts that my husband has picked out. We both do that.

Even if it is something you told him you werent interested in?

Can’t control everything in life, including what other people chose to gift you. You can control whether you throw a tantrum if the gift wasn’t what you wanted.

If he had not asked that would be truebut shetold him she didnt want or need it. If your dh like football and hated soccer wouldu expec him to be thrilled if you got him expensive tickets to the world cup not the superbowl? I dont think so!

I don’t think you understand what it means to be gracious. Life isn’t about getting exactly what you want every second.

So, again with the sports analogy because it’s pretty accurate: Would you expect the same of a man? If his wife thought oh yeah my husband loves sports I’ll buy him World Cup tickets! Never mind that the guy likes football and could care less about soccer.

Would you hold the husband to the same standard? Would’ve be allowed to be mad his wife wasted thousands of household money? Would he need to e fake grateful?

Anonymous wrote:OP - I've been in the same situation with my husband. I have a 2 carat diamond rink sitting in my drawer that I can't stand. It was an anniversary gift after I'd said what I would like is a band with 3 small diamonds. It's absolutely not the sort of thing I'd ever choose to wear and we didn't have the money to spare either. And for those of you who think we're being ungrateful - that's not the case at all. With my husband at least, it's because he either doesn't listen to what I'm saying or he hears me, but thinks he knows better than I do what I should want. Most of my gifts would make you think they're from someone who has never met me.

Anonymous wrote:I can't get over how unappreciative some of you are! Everything doesn't have to be practical, planned, and requested by you. I love receiving special, surprise gifts that my husband has picked out. We both do that.

Anonymous wrote:I can't get over how unappreciative some of you are! Everything doesn't have to be practical, planned, and requested by you. I love receiving special, surprise gifts that my husband has picked out. We both do that.

Anonymous wrote:I can't get over how unappreciative some of you are! Everything doesn't have to be practical, planned, and requested by you. I love receiving special, surprise gifts that my husband has picked out. We both do that.