Anonymous wrote:Do people really do this?

When people ask me where I'm from, usually in a casual setting, I tell them where I grew up. I don't go into an elaborate story about how I was born overseas and immigrated here as a preteen but then grew up in my hometown because I assume people are just making small talk and don't actually care.

Yep. That's exactly right.

People acting like this confusing and someone is asking for your life story, when it's obviously asking where they grew up, are just being deliberately obtuse.

I say, "short answer: X state." This works for me in that it indicates there's a longer answer if the person asking really wants to know more, but that's where I grew up.

I wasn't born there but spent my formative years there before briefly moving somewhere else where I finished high school, then moved back to X state for college. As far as I'm concerned, that's my home town; we left my city/state of birth when I was 7, and I only lived in state #3 for a couple years. Neither are "home" to me. And now I've been in the DC area for longer than I lived anywhere else anyway.

For people who answer (this area), I automatically assume there is a backstory, probably untoward. Since you asked, OP.

Anonymous wrote:Do people really do this?

When people ask me where I'm from, usually in a casual setting, I tell them where I grew up. I don't go into an elaborate story about how I was born overseas and immigrated here as a preteen but then grew up in my hometown because I assume people are just making small talk and don't actually care.

Ha ha. This. The glazed eyes and the “sorry I ever asked” look. Now, I just say the current city where I live. For 99% of strangers in casual settings that ask, it’s more than they are infested in. For the 1% that who follow up, I give the full spiel.

You people care too much what other people think.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because our society places way too much value on being from urban, coastal cities, judges "flyover country", and people want to feel special, valued, important. They dont want to apart of the "lower class" that the media so abhors. So they fudge the numbers and say whatever city they've lived in, for however brief a time, that will give them the nod of respect they crave. Even if it's not honest, even if they know it's not true. It's like everyone out there, wanting people to like them, to respect them, to know them as they want to be known.

+1000

Everyone wants to be accepted

NP here. But the way to be accepted is to not be a liar. I have a good idea where people are from, and I have a good idea when people are lying. Own your sh&t and get some therapy if you are so embarrassed by what shaped you, because that is seriously effed up.

For instance, DCUM loves to hate on certain areas, if you have been reading long enough, you know this by now. So what? I care what DCUM thinks? C'mon.

If you are from a "rich" area, you will be judged, if you are from a "poor" area, you will be judged - that is not on you, that is on the person doing the judging. I refuse to take on their agenda, let them be ignorant, it's not on me. If you travel or have lived enough places, you get a good handle on where people are from, just by talking to them.

I get why people would lie. My father and mother owned a cemetery and my father was the one who dug graves. My friends know that, but if I just meet someone and they ask, I might say that my parents owned a small business because people get all weird about cemeteries. Plus, I know they are judging me.

Anonymous wrote:This is for people who, when asked where they're from, will say the current city they live in, rather than where they grew up.

Aka someone who grew up in Utah, but is living in NYC, and when they meet someone new and asked, the say "New York".

Why do you do it? Is it shame about your hometown? Wishing you could have grown up in someplace more sophisticated?

I can't imagine what this looks like when some native New Yorker says something like, "cool. I grew up on the Upper West Side, how about you?"

Mega embarrassing for Provo.

Anonymous wrote:My husband lies about odd things like this. I've tried to break him of this habit because it's embarrassing when he is caught in the lie.
In his case, he does it because his parents were alcoholics and he just grew up lying about everything that went on in his home, so now lying about something relatively trivial seems as natural as telling the truth.

Wow. That's a good perspective. Lots of times I assume people lie because they aren't good people. Not always the case.

I just say, "I am from NYC, DH is from Boston, but we live in DC" to anyone outside of DC. To people in the DC area, we just say NYC or Boston. There is really no circumstance where we say we are "from DC." Maybe if it were phrased, "and where are you two visiting us from?"

I lie so that my opinions are immediately discarded because I didn't grow up here. I have only lived here 30 years. That's not enough for some. Personally, I am surprised they let me vote in local elections.

I do this, in a sense. I have almost no memory of my birthplace which I left at age 2. I avoid mentioning the place where I lived from age 8-17 - I was abused there and try to not mention the place. I typically say I am from where I lived from age 2-5 - happier times in a beautiful place. Sometimes I say I am from where I went to college - not overwhelmingly happy times, but a very beautiful place. I avoid saying I am from the Maryland suburbs - it’s just not me - although I have now lived here for 21 years.

Anyway - don’t be so judgy before you walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don’t have to respond to every post.

When you ask the question, people are not lying, they simply don’t understand what you are asking as it is a generic question. If you want a specific answer, ask a specific question.

Again, most people are not lying, have insecurity issues, are embarrassed —- they simply don’t know you want to know they’re home town.

What a strange hill to die on.

I mean... "where are you from?" is pretty specific. But like I said, I can shift over to "where did you grow up" if so many people are going to be disingenuous.

But I dont think the real answer is confusion. It's a simple answer, except for those who grew up in multiple cities (which i totally get)

I think the posters talking about now wanting to be judged for where they're from are the ones actually being honest. And I can at least respect THAT honesty

The thing is, as many people have pointed out, it's not. It's meaning depends on the context. You refuse to accept this even though every normal person understands it, because it's really important to you, for some reason I cannot begin to imagine, that people be ashamed of not being from a city.

it really is. And the deliberate "Huh? I dont understand the question" ignorant act is pretty crazy. Unless you grew up traveling from place to place, you knew where you grew up.

Anyway, i will start asking "where did you grew up" to cut out the BS. I already said several times I have no problem doing that at all, since that will cut the song and dance

My kids thus far have grown up in 2-4 countries each. At different points in their lives, different cultures had an impact on them. So did my culture (from Europe) and their father's culture (from the US). Where is it correct for them to say they grew up, according to you - especially if they don't feel like being vague or telling you their whole life story?

As I said, I understand military people or people that moved around a lot might not have the simple answer to this question- I have no judgement for them. But I think you could easily say something like "They've lived in several countries, the most recent was ___" or "several countries, the longest time being in ____". Whatever you feel is the most accurate answer for the place that shaped them the most/they spent the most formative years in

Right- and then the questions about - oh, when were you there? what did you dad or mom do? did you "like it?" (my favorite - did you "like DC?"). Is it true that they all wear clogs and pick tulips? You are a curiousity!

NP here. No idea what the OP's problem is. It's not always a quick easy answer, and I (like the PP) don't want to give everyone a 5 minute rundown on my life. Nor do they really want to hear it. I have lived in Paris, Berlin, Cairo, Dubai, Tokyo, Kuala Lumpur, Sydney, Vancouver, Boston, and DC. I was born in one of those, lived in 3 of them before college and the rest after. Where did I grow up? Which one is the right answer for OP?

Anonymous wrote:Because our society places way too much value on being from urban, coastal cities, judges "flyover country", and people want to feel special, valued, important. They dont want to apart of the "lower class" that the media so abhors. So they fudge the numbers and say whatever city they've lived in, for however brief a time, that will give them the nod of respect they crave. Even if it's not honest, even if they know it's not true. It's like everyone out there, wanting people to like them, to respect them, to know them as they want to be known.

+1000

Everyone wants to be accepted

Guys this is a troll. I have no time to go looking now but we had the same convo awhile ago-- maybe a year ago? Exact same premise. Exact same obtuse argument that seems to completely not get the idea of 'from vs grow up' or third culture kids or etc etc.

I actually checked this start date on this because ibthought it was a zombie thread.

Definitely a troll. Otherwise the most obtuse and elitist person on the site.